how to write a wedding speech when you don't like the groom

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How to Write a Wedding Toast When You Don’t Like The Groom

Hey, it happens

O k, so you’re getting ready to write a wedding toast, but as it turns out, you don’t like the groom (or hell, maybe you don’t like the bride). And you’re coming across all these great articles about how to deliver a heartfelt and emotional speech, while really what you’re trying to do is say something nice, that keeps everyone happy and still allows you to keep your dignity and not… lie.

While it might not feel like it right now, you are so not alone in this problem. So let’s talk about how to write a wedding toast when you’re not so sure about the person your friend/ family member/ other loved one is about to marry. For ease and clarification purposes, I’m going to assume that your friend is female, and the person you’re not that into is a guy, though this advice is applicable across the board, give or take a pronoun here and there.

Before we dive in, let’s clarify that this advice doesn’t stand when your loved one is going to marry someone that is dangerous, abusive, or otherwise harmful. In that case, you might want to call a domestic violence hotline , or consult a therapist to determine the safest course of action. This isn’t advice for those scary and terrible situations. This is advice for when your favorite person is about to marry someone you just don’t like. But if you’re tapped for a wedding toast, and you feel like it’s good form that you give one, here are five tips to make it work.

1. just pretend he doesn’t exist: This probably sounds worse than it’s meant to, but let’s lead with the easiest solution. You don’t  have to mention this person in your speech, if you can artfully avoid it. if you don’t want to. This is one of your people , right? You guys probably have a wealth of experiences and years of fun times that you can draw inspiration from, and there’s truly no reason to say much more than, “… and then she met someone who really makes her happy, and I love to see her happy” and leave it at that. Toss a smile out, give a cheery nod, and reassign yourself to wine duty for the rest of the evening.

Will your friend notice? Maybe, depending on how hyped on bubbly and love she is at that point, and how gracefully you pull it off. But we all love being told about how great we are, and how much the people in our life love us, so if you deliver this right, you can distract her. Also, keep in mind that unless she has a good relationship with the groom to begin with, a lot of bridesmaids don’t wax poetic for ages about the groom in question.

2. find one thing you like about him and only talk about that: So maybe you can’t get away with ignoring this person. Find one thing that you like about him (beyond the fact that he makes your person happy), and talk for a minute about that. He has great taste in art? He throws a great party? Whatever, fine, just write a few sentences about that and then raise a glass.

3. if everyone knows you doN’t get along, play it up IN A FUNNY WAY: Let’s say her family and his family and your family will all be at the wedding, or a whole bunch of mutual friends will be, and everyone knows that you and the groom infamously do not jive. Instead of ignoring the obvious, play into it, and make sure you end your speech with something along the lines of how he better treat her well, because you’ll be watching. Because it’s funny, and because it’s… true, and because he’ll know it is and probably knows you mean business.

4. say something that sounds nice (but is meaningless): This works best if you’re drinking, and works even better if you’re a tipsy-happy drinker that I am. And after one to two drinks you’re happy to tell everyone how much you like their dress, how great their hair looks, and how you just love them SOOOO much, then by all means, have a drink first and giddily enthuse about how you love your friend soooo much, you want her to be soooo happy, and you just can’t wait to see what her future holds because it will be soooo special. If you’re not a happy drinker, you can probably pull this off anyway, by pulling out an artfully placed wedding toast quote or two . In this case it’s fine to lean into Hallmark sentiments, and “Irish Proverbs.” May the road always rise to meet them, whatever that means.

5. talk about when you knew she was falling for him: Okay, so. The guy we’re talking about right now is most likely the kind of dude that you could never see yourself with… but for some reason, your person has decided that he’s the guy for her. (At least right now. We can hold out hope, right?) But this is a good moment to remind yourself that this wedding is not about you, and your friend needs you to support that choice, at least in this moment. (You can always support her in a search for a divorce lawyer later.) So dig around in the recesses of your mind and recall the day that you realized your friend was serious about this guy. Don’t focus on the sinking feeling you felt in your stomach, but focus on the way her face changed when she spoke about him, or how her eyes lit up. Remember how excited she was to show you her engagement ring. Think back to the most recent Serious Conversation the two of you had about her relationship, and what she told you then.

And then? Condense that into a speech and deliver the shit out of it. She’ll love you, it’ll be perfect, and you’ll deserve at least two drinks afterwards.

have you had to give Wedding Toast when you didn’t like the groom (or the bride)? What did you say—or what would you say in the situation? What advice do you have for people who are struggling?

Founder & Editor-In-Chief

Meg is the Founder of APW, and has been the sites EIC for the past twelve years. She has written two best selling wedding books:   A Practical Wedding   and  A Practical Wedding Planner .  Meg’s work has been referenced in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, NPR, Jezebel, and Refinery29 . She’s also written hugely viral wedding articles for Buzzfeed. She lives in Oakland, CA with her husband and two children. For more than you ever wanted to know about Meg, you can visit MegKeene.com .

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Writing a Wedding Speech When You Don't Like the Groom: Tips for Staying Graceful

Writing a wedding speech can be challenging when you don't like the groom, but it's important to stay positive and focus on the bride and their love story.

Highlighting the best qualities of the bride and celebrating the happy moments can shift the focus from your feelings towards the groom.

Compliment the bride's strength, joy, and the kindness she brings into the relationship.

Share a light-hearted memory or a funny story that emphasizes her happiness. The guests will appreciate your effort to keep the speech warm and genuine.

By maintaining your confidence and preparing in advance, you can manage public speaking with ease.

Speak from the heart, and remember that your main goal is to celebrate the couple's special day.

The Fundamentals of a Wedding Speech

Creating a great wedding speech involves understanding your role, setting the right tone, and organizing your ideas clearly.

This section will help you craft a speech that is memorable and appropriate for the occasion.

Understanding Your Role

Your role in the wedding defines how your speech should flow. Are you the best man, maid of honor, or a parent? Each role comes with its own expectations.

As the best man, you should focus on the groom’s positive traits. Introduce yourself briefly and keep the tone light and respectful. If you're a parent, your speech can be more emotional and personal.

It’s important to remember that your speech is part of the celebration. Avoid making it too long.

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Aim for a length of 5 minutes or less . Thank the guests and keep the atmosphere positive.

Setting the Tone

Setting the right tone is key to a successful wedding speech. Decide whether your speech will be funny, heartfelt, or a mix of both.

A best man’s speech often includes humor, but avoid jokes that could embarrass the groom. Balance humor with sincere compliments.

If you are a parent, your speech might lean more towards the emotional side. Share meaningful stories and speak from the heart.

Always focus on the couple's happiness. A wedding toast should end on a high note, with everyone raising a glass to the newlyweds.

Speech Structure

A clear structure helps your speech flow smoothly. Start by introducing yourself and explaining your relationship to the couple.

Next, share a story or anecdote highlighting the groom's good qualities. Make sure the story is appropriate for all guests.

Afterward, shift focus to the couple’s relationship. Talk about how the groom and bride complement each other. End with well wishes and a toast to their future together.

Using a few notes can help you stay on track without reading from a script. Practice your delivery to ensure it feels natural and engaging. Keep your speech concise, and remember that it's a celebration.

Crafting Content

Creating a wedding speech when you don't like the groom requires balance. You need to mix humor and sincerity, personalize your message, and steer clear of common mistakes.

Balancing Humor and Sincerity

Humor can lighten the mood. Share a funny but appropriate anecdote that involves the couple or the occasion. Avoid jokes that target the groom negatively.

Aim for light-hearted comments that still show respect for the marriage.

For example, if you're the maid of honor , speak about shared experiences with the bride that highlight her happiness.

Personalizing Your Message

Focus on the relationship you have with the bride. Talk about her qualities and your friendship.

This allows you to speak genuinely without bringing the groom into every part of your speech.

Mentioning how the bride has grown and changed for the better since meeting her partner can subtly acknowledge the groom without direct praise.

Avoiding Common Pitfalls

Avoid negativity at all costs. Don't share controversial stories or make jokes at anyone's expense.

Stay away from mentioning past relationships or anything that could be awkward. It's important to keep your speech positive and uplifting .

Steer clear of clichés and overly generic statements that could seem insincere or forced.

Effective Delivery Techniques

To deliver a wedding speech well, especially when you don't like the groom, you need to focus on strong public speaking skills and managing your nerves.

How you present your speech can make a big difference.

Mastering Public Speaking

Practice is crucial. Rehearse your speech until you feel comfortable with every word.

Keep it short and sweet . Aim for around five minutes. This keeps the audience engaged and ensures you stay on point.

Use note cards . Jot down key points to stay organized without reading directly from a script.

Examples from other wedding speeches can inspire you. Watch videos or read examples to understand successful approaches.

Confidence is key. Stand up straight, make eye contact, and speak clearly. Confidence helps your audience stay interested.

Dealing with Nerves

Nervous ? It's natural. Practice deep breathing before you start to help calm your nerves.

Emotion control is important. Keep your feelings in check to prevent negative tones from slipping in.

Appeal to positive emotions like love and happiness. This keeps the atmosphere upbeat.

Visualize delivering a great speech. See yourself succeeding, and it can help boost your confidence.

If you make a mistake , don't panic. Correct yourself smoothly and move on. The audience is likely to be very forgiving.

How To Write A Wedding Speech: The Ultimate Guide For Do’s, Don’ts, and Delivery PART 1/3: Do’s

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How To Write A Wedding Speech: The Ultimate Guide For Do’s, Don’ts, and Delivery PART 2/3: Don’ts

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• how to write a wedding speech
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• wedding speech

how to write a wedding speech dos

Someone you love is getting married, and you’ve just been asked to give a speech at the wedding. What an honor! But also, if you’re not used to giving speeches, what a nightmare! Public speaking can be scary , which is why many people prefer to avoid it. But when your bestie asks you to make a speech at his or her wedding, it’s time to rally. But now you’re wondering if you even know how to write a wedding speech! What makes some wedding speeches fun and memorable, and what makes others cringy and fall flat? We’ve got you. We’ve put together the ultimate guide for how to write a wedding speech, focusing on things you definitely should do, things you definitely should NOT do, and then how to deliver your killer wedding speech like a pro.

If you’re wondering how to write a wedding speech, here are a few “Do’s” to keep in mind.

• Start planning early
• Introduce yourself and how you know the bride and groom
• Thanks to hosts, guests, and wedding party; congratulate the couple
• Make it personal
• Think of 3 traits with 3 stories
• Talk about the couple
• Have a beginning, middle, and end
• Consider your audience
• Keep it short and sweet
• It’s okay to be simple and meaningful

1. Start planning early

If you don’t know how to write a wedding speech but the bride just asked you to give one, this is not a time to procrastinate. Public speaking is one of the number one fears many people have, so it’s likely you’ve avoided giving too many public speeches before this. And unless you’re a performer or a veteran improv comedian, you might not do too well winging this one. If you get nervous in front of an audience (as most of us do), the best defense against freezing up when you take the mic is being prepared. 

As soon as you know you’ve been asked to give a speech at the wedding, begin jotting down notes immediately. Whenever you’re inspired by a thought of the couple or remember an anecdote that might be worth retelling, make note of it. This will help to give you a pool of ideas to draw from when you start writing down the speech.

Begin gathering ideas and writing the speech a couple of weeks to a month before the wedding. You’ll need time to edit, fine-tune it, and make it concise. And as wedding showers, bachelorette parties, and other wedding festivities begin, you might find there are entertaining stories from these events you want to add as well. If you want to write it all at once, you can do that too. However, make sure to sleep on it and come back with fresh eyes. You don’t want just “okay,” you want your speech to be heartfelt and meaningful.

You will also want to begin early to give yourself time to practice and rehearse your speech plenty of times.

2. Introduce yourself and how you know the bride and groom

No matter how large or small the wedding is, it’s likely you will not be familiar with many of the guests on one or both sides. And they won’t be familiar with you either. So don’t leave them guessing! 

Make sure when you start to write a wedding speech to introduce yourself and mention how you know the couple. This will help them understand the context of your speech, which will also help it to be more well-received. 

3. Thank hosts, guests, and wedding party; congratulate the couple

It’s also courteous to take this time to thank the hosts and other members of the wedding party for all the hard work that went into the event, and to thank guests for being there to support the newlyweds, especially those who had to travel far. 

It’s also a good time to officially congratulate the newlyweds and offer them your personal well-wishes for their future. It is imperative that you don’t forget this part, because they are the whole reason you’re there and giving a speech!

4. Make it personal

Whether you are the maid of honor, the best man, father of the bride, or just a friend, you were asked to give a speech because of your close connection and relationship with either the bride or groom (or both). 

And since you know your friend as well as you do, you probably have plenty of stories to share; so the next tip for how to write a wedding speech is don’t hesitate to make it personal and share those stories! This will also help guests get to know the other half of the couple they might not know as well or are just meeting for the first time. And those guests who do know them will love hearing some entertaining stories they might not have heard yet.

5. Think of 3 traits with 3 stories

If you’re finding it difficult to come up with anything, a useful approach for how to write a wedding speech is to think of 3 positive defining traits or qualities of the bride or groom and recount three stories or examples that illuminate a time they exhibited these traits. These stories could be comedic, heartwarming, or both. Just make sure they are relevant and entertaining!

6. Talk about the couple

If you’re the maid of honor and have been chatting up the bride for the whole speech, part of how to write a wedding speech is to make sure at some point it circles around to the groom, too, and to the two of them as a couple.  

Recount the time you met him, or how you remember talking about him with the bride in the beginning stages of their relationship. If you don’t know the groom all that well, talk about how good they are as a couple and about how happy he makes her. 

And If you’re not a fan of the groom, this is not the time to air your grievances. Always keep it positive. 

7. Have a beginning, middle, and end

All good speeches have a good flow and take the audience along with it. 

Don’t let your speech fall flat or jumble together in a haphazard confusion of disconnected anecdotes. Give it the structure of an overarching theme, with a beginning, a middle, and an end. 

We are not talking about a novel here, just make sure there is a direction to where the speech is going, and that the destination, end, or sentiment is achieved. It doesn’t need to be Charlie Chaplin in The Great Dictator, but a three-act structure does help keep you grounded. Most people also follow a story easier when there is a clear direction for a story or speech. 

8. Consider your audience

The next thing to keep in mind when considering how to write a wedding speech is to make sure you consider who your audience is. 

This is not the bachelor or bachelorette party. There will be a wide range of people present from children to the elderly, and from close friends of the bride and groom to casual acquaintances and coworkers. Make sure your speech is free of any crudeness that might not be fit for such a varied audience. Also, this isn’t the time to take a shot at any of the religious cermonies.

Be considerate and keep it positive and use language everyone can relate to. 

9. Keep it short and sweet

You want your speech to be meaningful and memorable; but the wedding is not about you, and yours is not the only speech. 

No one ever complains about a speech being too short, but they do begin to grumble if it runs on too long. A good rule of thumb to keep in mind when figuring out how to write a wedding speech is to keep your speech between 2-5 minutes long. Any longer than 5 minutes and you’ll lose everyone to thoughts of cake and whether or not to Cupid Shuffle later. 

10. Add humor

Don’t be afraid to be funny! Another tip for how to write a wedding speech is that if you’ve got a lighthearted, creative, joking side, use it and add humor to your speech! Everyone likes to be entertained. 

This doesn’t mean you should scour the internet for generic wedding-themed jokes, but if you’ve got some good original material to use that helps relate a story about the bride or groom in a comedic way, do it. As long as you’re not making fun of the couple but having fun with them, jokes are great. Or you can even poke fun at yourself to illuminate a higher quality in your bestie. It’s all about making the newlyweds shine. 

If you’re creative and have other talents, use them! If you are musical, bust out your instrument and/or vocal cords and make the speech in the form of a song! Use props, and get the other guests involved! The newlyweds will feel special because you created something for them, and the guests will love joining in the fun.

11. It’s okay to be simple and meaningful

If entertaining isn’t your thing, that’s okay! Don’t force it – just be yourself. It’s okay to be simple and meaningful with your speech. Always keep in mind when you go to write a wedding speech that what’s important is that you are genuine and speak from the heart.

Hopefully, you found these tips for how to write a wedding speech helpful, and can start writing today! And stay tuned to our blog for the next part in this ultimate guide for how to write a wedding speech where we highlight a few things you should definitely avoid.

Love this content and want more? Read more about weddings on our blog ! Involved in the wedding planning process and the bride is still looking for a venue ? Give us a call today and we’ll help you find the perfect place!

Jennings Trace

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How To Give A Great Wedding Toast: Tips, Do’s and Dont’s & Examples

Wedding toasts are tricky. We’ve got some helpful tips to guide you towards a great wedding toast that you and your favorite couple will remember fondly for years, so grab your notepads and get ready for some key(note) advice.

By Monica Mercuri

Wedding toasts are tricky—especially if it’s your first time. You’ve got a lot of different people to please, and couples can be extra-sensitive on their wedding day (or at their rehearsal dinner). After all, they’ve got a whole room of the most important people in their lives looking at them. Because of this, there’s a lot of pressure on these speeches. With that in mind, we’ve gathered some helpful tips to guide you towards the best wedding toast that you and your favorite couple will remember fondly for years. So, keep your notepad at the ready and prepare for some key(note) advice. This is our ultimate guide to writing and giving a wedding toast.

Who Gives a Wedding Toast?

Are you unsure if you need to come up with a wedding toast or not? Generally speaking, the following people give a toast at the reception:

• The father of the bride
• The bride and groom
• The best man
• The maid of honor

That being said, the couple may request that another important family member (such as a grandparent or the mother of the groom ), bridesmaid, or groomsman also speak.

Wedding Toast Tips

1. prepare..

Give some thought as to what you’re going to say and jot down some notes, whether or not you plan on using them at the reception. You might trip up your words or lose your train of thought if you “wing it,” so our advice is to, well, not. Respect the couple on their wedding day by giving your wedding toast the thoughtful preparation it deserves. That means preparing it well in advance and rehearsing a few times in order to gauge the length and flow of your speech. Trust us, both the couple and you will be grateful you did.

2. Be yourself.

Be true to yourself. If you’re not naturally funny, don’t try to be. If you’re not one for mushy sentimentality, don’t go there. Be honest and give a few words about why your relationship with the bride and/or groom is a special one and why you admire their partnership. It’s as simple as that.

3. Keep it short.

For those fearful of public speaking, you may be happy to hear that most wedding toasts are somewhere around three minutes long . Remember, you’re performing a wedding toast, not a filibuster. All you really need to do is introduce yourself and explain your relationship to the couple, share a special memory or story about the pair (or the bride and/or groom separately), say congratulations, and wish them a long, happy future. Keep it short and sweet.

4. Say congratulations.

You won’t believe how many people forget this essential wedding toast component. The whole purpose of a wedding coast is to wish the newlyweds well, so make sure this word makes it into your speech.

5. Look at the person you're toasting.

Don’t stare down the couple, but keep in mind that they are the recipients of your speech and the most important people in your audience. You are not putting on a show for the wedding guests, but toasting your good friend (or sibling, son, or daughter), their new spouse, and their future. A little eye contact goes a long way. That being said, don’t be afraid to glance down at some note cards here and there.

6. Coordinate with the wedding planner.

Make sure you know the reception timeline and general order of events—don’t even think about bugging the bride or groom with questions about when you’re “on.” Speak with the wedding planner (or the person acting in this capacity—even the DJ or bandleader might know) so you know when and where you are supposed to give your toast, what kind of mic you’ll have, and where to place your notes if necessary.

Wedding Toast Outline Template

Follow this general outline for your wedding toast, and you’ll be golden:

Greeting and self-introduction

Thanks to the hosts for the great party

Funny, attention-grabbing opening line

Great anecdote(s) about the bride/groom (best if it supports #3)

Reasons why the bride/groom is great (as demonstrated in #4)

Reasons why the bride/groom’s partner is great, and why they’re a great match

Great anecdote about them as a couple (best if it supports #6)

Congratulations, a beautiful quotation, and/or sweet wishes

Toast to the happy couple’s future

Wedding Toast Dos and Dont’s

There are many different types of toasts you can give. But whether you decide to give a funny wedding toast or a more sentimental one, there's a right and wrong way to do it. Here’s a list of things you should DO when giving a perfect wedding toast:

DO research and crowdsource.

The best wedding speeches are those that let the audience know a little bit more about the bride and/or groom—in a good way—so try to include some funny or sweet stories from their childhoods, adolescence, or young adulthoods. Ask the couple’s parents, siblings, or other close friends for any great tidbits that you could weave into your toast for greater authenticity.

DO be a storyteller.

Good stories make for good toasts. Take your listeners on a little journey about the couple and how we arrived at this special day. If you’re part of the wedding party representing just one of the newlyweds, explain what kind of person s/he is (as demonstrated by X anecdote from the past), how you know each other, how s/he met the other newlywed, how their relationship grew, why they are such a great match, and what you hope for their future. If you can weave in a little thematic joke or a narrative through-line, even better.

DO combine humor with emotion.

A perfect wedding toast includes a healthy mix of humor, sentimentality, good-natured ribbing, and sincerity. You want the couple, and the rest of the guests, to feel both amused and touched by your words. If you’re naturally funny, include some clean jokes that won’t hurt anyone’s feelings (jokes at your own expense are alway a safe bet). If you always botch the punch line, it’s perfectly fine to stick to a straightforward message of warmth and congratulations.

DO borrow language.

Not all of us were born with the gift of gab. If Wordsworth you are not, there’s no shame in stealing some great lines from the masters. Look up some quotations on love, relationships, or marriage to either guide your speech’s theme or to pepper in at the beginning and end for greatest impact. Writers and essayists like Martin Luther King Jr., Pablo Neruda, Shakespeare, or any of the Romantic poets are good places to look for inspiring quotations.

DO practice out loud.

Nowhere is the phrase “practice makes perfect” more true than in public speaking. Besides familiarizing yourself with the material, you’ll be able to hear any mistakes, awkward phrasing, or weird timing when experiencing the words out loud. Practice reading your speech to a partner or friend, get their feedback (and have them time you so you know if you need to add or cut), and practice again until you feel solid.

DO speak clearly.

If you have a bring-down-the-house kind of wedding toast but no one can understand it, what good will it do? Make sure your one-liners zing and your heartfelt wishes bring tears by speaking loudly and clearly, enunciating your words, and appropriately using a microphone or other AV equipment that’s provided.

DO keep it clean(ish).

This one is obvious, right? The key here is to know your audience. Remember that you’re addressing the entire guest list—which might include ages 3 to 93. Joking about adult topics must be done subtly and in good taste. To keep things classy, be intentionally vague and keep the examples lighthearted. Don’t go into sordid detail, don’t share anything that could get anyone in trouble, don’t reveal anything truly humiliating, and avoid bathroom humor.

DO address both newlyweds.

So that your speech doesn’t feel awkwardly lopsided, be sure to say some kind, sincere, and personal words to both of the people who just got married. If you are friends with both of them, even more reason to share an anecdote about why they are great individually and doubly great together.

DO end on a sweet note.

No matter what else you say or do, end your wedding speech with positivity. Congratulations on the marriage, happy wishes for the couple’s future together, and a general toast in their direction are customary (for a reason) and always well-received.

And here’s a list of things you should NOT DO when giving a great wedding toast:

DON’T ramble.

Tell a short (short) story, not a novel. No one wants to hear you digress about something unrelated to your key message, or worse, about yourself. Remember, this isn’t your show—this moment is about the newly married couple, so resist the urge to go off on a tangent .

DON’T be too mean, crass, or dirty.

Making people laugh is good. Making people uncomfortable is not. Offensive, off-color, or any mean-spirited joke at the expense of an individual or group is a no-fly zone. If you have to stop and ask yourself, “Should I say this?,” it’s a good indication that you should just not. And if you normally swear like a sailor, watch your language and avoid profanity.

DON’T tell inside jokes.

If only you and the bride or groom (or a small handful of other people) will understand what you’re talking about, then it’s probably not good material to include in a wedding speech. You don’t want to alienate your audience by making them feel like they’re not in on the joke. Stick to universal topics and be inclusive in your story- and joke-telling.

DON’T get tipsy.

While it might be tempting to throw back a few after the “I dos” to loosen up for your moment in the spotlight, use common sense. Has consuming alcohol in a short amount of time ever helped you be more articulate, quick on your feet, or sensitive to the passage of time? Our guess is no. Wait until after your speech to take advantage of the open bar, because it will be clear to the crowd if you are not in your best frame of mind.

DON’T dwell on your blunders.

Every public speaker misses a line or trips up their words now and then. Rather than drawing attention to an error by apologizing profusely or joking about how bad a public speaker you are, simply make a quick correction or skip over it and move on. Dwell any further, and your audience will get uncomfortable or lose confidence in you.

DON’T just read—engage.

While you certainly don’t need to memorize your speech, it’s public speaking 101 that just reading aloud from a piece of paper (or your phone) without acknowledging the crowd is a no-no. Know your speech well enough so that you don’t have to look at it word-for-word. Take time to look around, make eye contact (especially when you’re addressing the happy couple), and pause for laughter or applause.

DON’T rush.

Being nervous is totally normal—but if your nerves are too apparent, they can distract your audience or put them on edge. A clear sign of being nervous is racing through your speech like you’re competing for a NASCAR trophy. Take deep breaths, use the above tips about audience engagement, and speak clearly and slowly. We promise, it’ll be over before you know it.

DON’T go long.

That being said, don’t be long-winded or hog too much of the wedding reception’s precious timeline, or your audience will start wondering when they can get on the dance floor rather than pay attention to your eloquence. Stick to whatever time frame the couple recommended, or if you’re on your own, aim for 2-3 minutes.

DON’T talk about yourself.

This day is not about you, so your toast definitely shouldn’t be. A personal anecdote about you AND the bride and/or groom is great, so long as it illuminates funny (and flattering) points about the other’s personality, talents, or achievements. Watch how many times you say “I” and “me” and cut back if you find these words dominating your speech to avoid coming off as insincere.

DON’T mention exes.

At all. Ever. Seriously. Don’t do it. It will make things awkward, and like we said before, people are extra-sensitive on their big day.

DON’T say anything negative.

If you have any doubt whether a joke will offend the bride, groom, or their parents, leave it out of your toast. Keep in mind, it’s a toast, not a roast.

Questions to Ask Yourself When Writing

All the tips in the world can help you write your wedding speech to a point. Asking yourself a few important questions, however, can really aid you in honing in on what you’d like to say. As you sit down to write (or revisit) your wedding toast, remember to ask yourself the following. Give your answers some good thought and don’t be afraid to change them.

What tone should you be aiming for? Wedding toasts can span a variety of tones, from playful to very formal. Before writing anything down, ask yourself what tone would be most appropriate for the couple, their guests, and the occasion. For example, if the wedding is a black tie affair and the couple is going all out, we recommend avoiding embarrassing stories or dirty jokes. If the couple and reception are more laid back, feel free to go for a few laughs. If you’re unsure if your speech should lean heartfelt, funny, or elsewhere, ask the couple for their preference.

What story (or stories) are right to tell? As a best friend or family member, we’re betting you have a lot of stories and memories with the bride(s), groom(s), or both. That being said, not just any story should be included in your toast. Consider memories that display the couple’s best qualities, or one that shines a nice light on their relationship. You can also include the story of how you know the bride(s) and/or groom(s). We recommend sticking to two stories tops—how you know the couple and a fond memory.

How can I back up what I’m saying? When describing the bride(s) or groom(s) great qualities, try not to list them out and move on. If you want to mention how kind and thoughtful the bride is, ask yourself if you have a short story that can back that up. Doing so is more interesting and convincing for the audience.

Do I have any advice for the couple? Perhaps you’re married or are in a successful life partnership. If this is the case, ask yourself if there’s any advice you’d like to offer the couple that they can take into their new marriage and beyond. We recommend zeroing in on one detailed piece of advice or 1-3 quick ones (e.g. never stop dating your partner and always communicate).

How am I doing on time? Throughout the toast writing process, remember to check in with yourself and ask how long your speech is. It’s easier to be aware of timing while writing than to go back and have to edit things down. We suggest, after writing each “section” (introduction, story, etc.) that you time yourself while reading it allowed. When you’re finished, do the same to ensure you land around 2-5 minutes.

Wedding Toast Topics To Avoid

There are really never any circumstances under which the following topics are a good idea to bring up in a wedding toast or speech. Don’t touch these subject matters with a 10-foot pole:

• Exes or previous marriages.
• General negativity about marriage.
• Illegal activity.
• Pornography or strip clubs. Just don’t.
• X-rated stuff.
• Sex, drugs, drinking, gambling…use your judgment.
• Bathroom stuff.
• Your own drama.

Wedding Toast Examples

With plenty of tips in mind, let’s put them into practice. The following are a couple wedding toast examples. Feel free to take inspiration from them and personalize with your own stories, qualities, jokes, and more.

Maid of Honor/Best Man Toast Example

A maid of honor or best man speech should be heartfelt, earnest, and perhaps a bit humorous. For example:

Good evening, everyone. Tonight we gather to celebrate the marriage of [Name] and [Name]. As many of your already know, I’m [Your Name], the sibling/cousin/best friend of the bride/groom. I’m so grateful to be part of this important day and beautiful celebration.

Bride/Groom , as long as I’ve known you, you’ve been exceptionally kind and open-minded.

Share a story or two that display these traits.

I’m thrilled that you’ve found someone that shares and appreciates these qualities of yours, as well as many more.

Share a memory about the couple or spouse .

Tonight, we celebrate the union of two beautiful, wonderful people. Please join me in raising your glass as we toast to the Bride and Groom/Brides/Groom and their happiness for years to come.

Couple's Parents Toast Example

The father or mother of the bride or groom, or another important family member, may also share a toast with the crowd. For example:

Today I am overjoyed to officially welcome Bride/Groom into my family. As long as I’ve known them, they’ve made my son/daughter/child/niece/nephew/grandchild immensely happy and I look forward to watching this happiness grow for years to come.

Share 1-2 memories from the bride or groom’s childhood or young adult life.

When you first introduced me to Bride/Groom, I could immediately sense your immense love and care for one-another.

Share a memory about the couple.

Bride/Groom , I know you will always love and support [Name], as I have. I’m honored to join our families and love you both so much. Congratulations!

Being asked to give a rehearsal dinner or reception toast can bring on the pressure. However, if you follow our tips and speak from the heart, odds are you’ll do a wonderful job honoring the couple. Prepare, breathe, and be ready to celebrate!

For other need-to-knows regarding wedding planning and attending wedding ceremonies, take a good look at our Expert Advice .

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How to Write The Perfect Groom’s Speech (With Examples)

Author: Hollie Bond

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How to Write a Grooms Speech

Funny groom's speech ideas, emotional groom's speech ideas, unusual groom's speech ideas, famous groom's speech ideas.

No idea where to start when it comes to making a speech on your big day? We’ve compiled all the best tips and inspiration to help you write and deliver the best groom’s speech ever.

The groom’s speech is always a highlight at a wedding. It’s a chance for guests to hear all the romantic and heartfelt sentiments that you, as a newlywed, will be experiencing.

It’s also a feel-good part of the day where you get to acknowledge all your guests and thank individuals who have helped you bring this special day together. Everyone in the ‘audience’ will be friends and family, so put any public speaking nerves aside, as everyone will be willing you on to do your best and if you stumble over your words or well up when you’re talking about your new wife or husband – well, they’ll just love you even more!

We’ve rounded up 40 of the best groom’s speech ideas, with inspiration for funny, emotional, and unusual speeches, plus examples from famous grooms, to help you write your own Oscar-worthy speech.

What should the groom say in his speech?

Good news! The groom’s speech is one of the easiest speeches to write and deliver as it is essentially just one big thank you.

A groom’s speech should focus on thanking everyone who has helped make the wedding day special including the mother and father of the bride (or equivalent), the guests, his own parents, the best man, the bridesmaids, ushers, and anyone else who has contributed to the wedding.

The other main focus of the groom’s speech is to lavish praise and compliments on his new wife (or groom) and to tell them how happy he is to be married. Finally, the groom should raise a toast to his new wife or husband.

How long should a groom’s speech be?

Any speech at a wedding, including the groom’s speech, should be no longer than ten minutes. When written down this is approximately 1500 words, but make sure to time yourself before the big day in case you’re a particularly slow or fast speaker.

Ten minutes is the ideal length to get across everything you need to say, but not so long that your guests get bored and start to fidget. If you’re not a confident speaker you can always just say a few lines lasting a couple of minutes.

Less is definitely more when it comes to speeches. That said, if it’s too short you could sound flippant! Anywhere between five and ten minutes and you’re in safe territory.

1. Don’t be too formal

Unless you’re known for your love of a bit of pomp and circumstance then you don’t suddenly have to become the master of all things etiquette and stuffy speech-making just because it’s your wedding day. Your guests will want to hear you speak in your usual way, and as long as you cover the expected formalities like thanking everyone for coming, both sets of parents, the bridal party, and anyone who went above and beyond to help you with something like making a cake, then you don’t have to worry about anything else.

2. Focus on the start

If you can get guests smiling from the very beginning of the speech, then both you and your guests will feel relaxed and enjoy the rest of it. Have a think about something humorous that specifically relates to your guests or wedding situation rather than an obvious/ heard-100-times-before gag. Perhaps you’re known for your non-stop chatter, so you could open with “I know you’re all thinking you should take a loo break before I start talking, but I promise I’ll keep this as short (as I can!)…”

3. Don’t forget the main purpose of the speech

A romantic and heartfelt ode to the person you’ve just married should be the main focus of this speech. Try to avoid just saying empty words that anyone could say like “she/he is wonderful, beautiful, kind” etc. Think of specific things that your other half has done that makes you proud/ really love them/ that makes them unique. Anecdotes and stories that highlight a personal trait are the best way to do this.

4. Be romantic, not cheesy

Try not to fall into the trap of sounding like a compilation of all the lines you might find inside a cheesy Valentine’s Day card. Instead of “I’m so lucky to have found you” think about “My parents always told me nothing good would come of always being late, but I’m so glad to say I proved them wrong. I missed my train (as usual) that fateful day and the best thing ever came out of it… you.” Or a simple list of all the things that you particularly love about your partner, from the way they constantly fiddle with their hair to the way they talk to your dog like it’s a human.

5. Don’t give out gifts

This isn’t prize-giving at school and giving out weddinggifts to bridesmaids and ushers etc. will just take up valuable partying time. Give your bridal party their gifts in the morning when you’re all getting ready as it’ll be more personal in private.

6. Think about timing

A speech around the 7 – 10 minutes mark is considered the perfect amount of time for a groom’s speech (written down that’s about 1200 – 1400 words). Any less and you’ll sound a bit flippant. Any more and guests will start getting bored.

7. Don’t go into massive amounts of detail

We all know someone that tells a story as intricate and descriptive as a Tolstoy novel and how we automatically glaze over as soon as they start speaking. Don’t be that person. Your guests don’t want War and Peace – they want a nice easy to listen to a speech that doesn’t mentally challenge them, especially once they’re a few drinks down.

8. Find the perfect quote

If you’re not a wordsmith, let someone else more qualified sum up your feelings for you. There are plenty of amazing quotes from authors and famous orators out there and one or two of them may be exactly what you need to succinctly put all your feelings about the day and your partner into one neat sentence. Just make sure to acknowledge the original author!

9. Give your partner a promise

A lovely way to be funny and also heartfelt at the same time is to make a promise or two to your partner in front of your guests. Don’t just repeat your vows here, promise something that is unique to her/him. Perhaps she’s an avid rock climber and you’re more of a couch potato? Promise you’ll learn to love her crazy hobby. Maybe you’re not exactly Heston Blumenthal in the kitchen? Promise you’ll learn to cook your partner more than beans on burnt toast. Perhaps she/he is the world’s greatest Swiftie. Promise you’ll learn the lyrics to all their favourite Taylor Swift songs… you get the idea.

10. Prepare the delivery

The biggest mistake you can make is to write a great speech on paper and then not read it out loud before the big day. You need to practice talking slowly and confidently and leaving little pauses after funny bits (for any of the slower guests to get it!). Also, some written sentences don’t sound great when spoken, so reading out loud will help you to iron out any clunky syntax. Plus, you’ll want to know the speech almost by heart so that you don’t have your head in a piece of paper reading word-for-word on the day. Eye contact with your guests is one of the most important parts of delivering a successful speech.

You don’t have to be the next Michael McIntyre, but giving your guests a giggle and making them smile is the quickest way to make both them and you feel at ease with the speech.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have to pepper your speech with gags and silly one-liners to make it funny. Instead, just focus on things that are unique to you as a couple or for the audience (perhaps the region you’re from for example) and have a bit of fun at your/ their expense. Be careful not to reference something that only a few members of the audience will understand as that will very quickly alienate your other guests.

Here are ten funny speech ideas to take inspiration from:

Focus on your differences

Comparing your differences can be an easy way to make the guests smile. Are you obsessively tidy and your new partner a bit of a slob perhaps? Can you cook like a pro while they can’t even heat soup without burning the place down? Whatever your differences, exaggerate them and make a joke out of them to get guests giggling.

Tell the crowd something they don’t know

Do you know some funny things about your bride/groom’s past that others in the audience might not? Now’s a good time to reveal that she/he did some hilarious hobbies or geeky things as a child. Perhaps they have a funny secret crush or can do a really odd trick.

Exaggerate your weaknesses

Putting yourself down and acknowledging something everyone knows about you can be a good way to make guests smile. E.g. “Would you believe it? The bride/ groom has finally given up holding out for Ryan Gosling and decided a bald, beer-swilling Insurance Broker from Newcastle is a better option instead.”

Here’s a good example of a funny, self-deprecating groom’s speech:

Make a joke about the wedding itself

“Before I begin, please can we ensure that all the aisles and fire exits are kept clear throughout the reception. There’s a medical team waiting outside the building and I’d like them to have a clear run when my in-laws are presented with the final bill.”

“I’d like to thank Mastercard and Visa, without whom this would never have been possible. My wife and I will be forever in their debt.”

Mother-in-law jokes

These always go down well if you actually get on with her! Reference something unique to your mother in law like her shopping obsession or how long she takes to get ready perhaps. Or keep it classic with: “I’ve been told that this is usually one of the only times in a man’s life when he can be around his wife/husband and mother-in-law and not be interrupted – so hang in there, I’m going to take full advantage.”

“In [in-law’s names], I have found the perfect in-laws. I always cringe when I hear jokes about difficult mothers-in-law because my own experience has been far from that stereotype. [Turn to in-laws and whisper audibly] Did I read that right? Please don’t hurt me…”

Tell a story

If your first date, engagement or the time you asked the in-laws if you could marry their daughter/ son has a funny element to it, go ahead and tell the story. Just remember not to kill the humour with too many details.

Talk about your partner’s quirks

Does your wife/ husband have any weird habits? Divulge a few to the guests but make it romantic by saying how much you love her/him even though they… still get drunk after one glass of wine/ still go to bed with a teddy bear at the age of 33/ always get the words to songs wrong/ always have to be the last person on the dance floor even when the lights come up…

Make the thank yous funny

Instead of a boring list of thank yous, try and inject a bit of fun. For example: “I’d like to thank my mother in law for passing on such wonderful traits to her daughter; her kindness, her humour, though unfortunately, an unwavering support for Arsenal has also slipped down the genetic line.”

Trip the guests up

Everyone expects the first line of the groom’s speech to mention his new wife/ husband. Momentarily confuse them with a sentence like this: “My ex-girlfriend/ boyfriend and I would like to thank you all for coming today” – and then pause while they work it out and laugh.

Use props or videos

If there’s a funny prop or a video that you can show during the speech go for it, plus holding something or giving yourself a break in video form can help stop the nerves.

Leave guests guessing

It’s fine to reference the stag do , but don’t tell a long and boring story about something that happened while you were on it. That’ll only be funny to the stags. It’s best to mention something and leave the end of the story untold as a cliff-hanger so that guests can fill in the blanks with all manner of funny thoughts.

As a groom, you have free reign to get emotional and if you’re not normally an emotional person it will really surprise and delight guests as they will realise just how much the day and marrying your loved one means to you.

You don’t want to get too over the top though and make your guests feel uncomfortable. Keep the really mushy stuff for your bride or groom on your honeymoon and instead focus on the sort of emotional sentiments that will make guests smile.

Here are some ideas for how to make your groom’s speech just the right amount of emotional:

Look guests in the eye

The quickest way to get guests to buy into what you’re saying and to feel the raw emotion of your words is by looking them in the eyes as you deliver each sentence. If you’ve had a difficult time in the run-up to the wedding and are really grateful for the support they’ve all shown, say so while looking sincerely at the guests you really want to show your gratitude to.

Put your heart into the thank yous

If you don’t want to make the thank yous funny or witty, how about making them emotional by not just thanking the person for what they did, but by explaining how much it meant to you.

Mention absent friends

If a member of your family or a friend isn’t at your wedding and is greatly missed then make sure to raise a toast to their memory. You don’t want to be morbid, but a few words about how much the person/ people meant to you both and how much you miss them, followed by inviting all guests to raise a toast to them is a lovely emotional gesture.

Let yourself feel the emotion

If you feel yourself welling up don’t stop the emotion – guests won’t mind if your voice breaks a bit or if you have to take a deep breath. In fact, it just shows how much the words actually mean to you.

Be creative when it comes to describing your partner

If you want to inject emotion into your speech, don’t just say sentences that could describe any bride/ groom. Think specifically about your partner and be poetic when you talk about them and it will be much more sincere than just saying: “My new wide is beautiful” or “My husband is kind”. Here’s a lovely example from a groom’s speech about how to reference your new spouse:

Want to make sure your speech is unforgettable? Make it unusual and unique with some of these stand-out suggestions…

Rap the speech

Got a hidden talent for rapping (or if you don’t it can still be hilarious), then why not attempt to rap the speech instead. You could do part of it normally, before breaking out into a fun rap perhaps.

Sing the speech

Got a good set of pipes on you? How about singing your speech instead? Choose a famous song and then write personalised lyrics to fit. You can make it funny or heartfelt – whatever suits your personality best. Having the words on PowerPoint beside you can help in case some guests miss the words.

Write your speech on blackboards around the room

If the idea of public speaking really is too much for you and threatens to ruin your whole wedding day, why not write it up on blackboards that can be displayed around the venue for guests to read instead. You could even pre-record a video of you reading the speech too. Guests who know and love you will appreciate the effort and know how stressful making a speech in person would be for you.

Speak in a different language

Are you marrying someone who is originally from another country and has another language that you don’t speak? Impress both your new wife or husband and especially their family members who make not speak your language by learning some lines in secret in their language. Starting the speech in English for example before changing seamlessly into French will wow your audience and be very emotional for your new partner.

Get other people to do it for you

Track down important guests who can’t make it to the wedding or some famous people if you can and ask them to say something special that you can record and play as part of the speech.

Borrow the words

If you don’t want to make a traditional groom’s speech, how about performing a poem or reading out the lyrics to a song that means a lot to you as a couple (just don’t make it as awkward as Pam and Mick’s rendition in Gavin & Stacey!)

Write a story

Why not make your groom’s speech sound like the start of a novel or children’s story in a ‘once upon a time’ format, but insert yourself and your new spouse as the main characters. After all, your wedding is part of your love story and you can end your speech with a toast to your happily ever after.

Get your guests involved

Don’t like the idea of all eyes being on you? Surprise your wife/ husband by prepping guests beforehand to each say a sentence. Or you can encourage audience participation by turning your speech into a quiz about you as a couple/ the wedding day.

Perform a musical mash-up

Make it themed.

If your bride or groom has a love for something specific, theme your entire speech around it. Take these maids of honour who did a Disney medley as an example:

Tom Fletcher from band McFly did one of the most famous and unusual groom’s speeches of all time. If you can hold a tune why not replicate his speech with your own song…

Nick Jonas went down the heartfelt route for his groom’s speech at his wedding to Priyanka Chopra in 2018 and nailed the thank you to his new mother in law.

Mark Wright from TOWIE gave way to the tears when talking about new wife Michelle Keegan at their wedding: “Not only are you beautiful, but you are one of the most incredible people I have ever met. You truly are sensational in every single way.” Take inspiration from his touching way to be emotional without making everyone feel awkward.

Not a groom’s speech, but you could definitely steal the idea from the best man speech of Danny McKenzie at footballer Jamie Milligan’s wedding – he pretended he had forgotten the speech and then played a video that “showed” him racing through fields and various places James Bond-style to retrieve it…

Hollie Bond

Hollie is a lifestyle journalist with over ten years’ experience working in the wedding industry as Lifestyle Editor for You & Your Wedding magazine Also a Regional Editor for Muddy Stilettos, Hollie has written for Square Meal magazine, Family History Monthly, BBC History magazine and Homes & Antiques. In her spare time you can find Hollie in a dance studio practising ballet…

Learn more about Hollie Bond

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• How to Write A Killer Bride or Groom Wedding Speech

Writing a wedding speech can be a daunting task, especially if you’re nervous about speaking in front of a group. But it’s an awesome opportunity to let your nearest and dearest know how much they mean to you and how much you appreciate them celebrating the start of your marriage with you.

Traditionally, brides don’t give speeches. They sit quietly and listen while their dad, the best man and the groom give speeches. Brides were to be seen and not heard. But we’ve had enough of that. If you’re a bride who wants to speak at your own wedding – more power to you! We 100% support a bride being heard on her own wedding day.

Getting ready to write your bride or groom wedding speech? Awesome! We’ve got all the steps you need to write a killer wedding speech that will leave the room laughing, crying and applauding wildly by the time you drop the mic.

Decide on the logistics

Before you get to the nitty-gritty of speech writing, figure out some of the big picture issues. Who is going to be giving the speech? Are you speaking together or separately? If you’re giving two separate speeches, who is going first? When in the night are you giving the speech? How long will the speech be? What’s the tone going to be?

Start your wedding speech with some thank yous

This one is easy! You start your speech by giving a round of thank yous. Thank all of your guests for coming, thank your wedding party for supporting you, thank out-of-towners for making the trek, thank your parents for all their love, thank your new spouse’s parents for welcoming you into the family, thank special people who made the day possible, thank vendors, THANK THEM ALL! Or, y’know, thank who you want to thank.

Mention those who couldn’t be there

This step is optional, but if you’d like, it’s a great time to pay tribute to people who couldn’t be at your wedding. This could be important people who couldn’t physically make it, maybe they are unable to travel or sick. Or this could be people who have passed on that you want to honour on your special day.

Add a short & sweet anecdote to your wedding speech

Here’s the fun part: now you get to gush about your boo! Include a short story about how you met, when you knew you were in love or a funny tidbit from wedding planning. The idea here is that you want to share a cute story, nothing embarrassing. And you’ll want to keep it short, especially if you and your spouse are both sharing little stories. You’ll also want to double check with anyone else giving speeches that you’re not all re-telling the same story.

End with your partner

You made it! You’re at the end of your speech. Now all you have to do is address your partner and cue the waterworks. This is where you let your brand new husband or wife know how happy you are to be married to them, how much today has meant to you or anything you weren’t able to fit into your vows.

Practice makes perfect

Especially if you’re nervous, rehearse your speech. Stand in front of the mirror, ask someone in your wedding party to lend an ear or recite your speech to your dog. And if you’re planning on doing the speech together and splitting up the different sections, you’ll definitely want to practice with your partner. If there are parts of the speech you want to keep as a surprise for the big day, that’s totally fine. Just rehearse the rest together so you know who says what when.

You know what we say – your wedding, your way! So if you’re really nervous about giving your speech in front of so many people, maybe you can give a speech at your rehearsal dinner in front of a smaller audience instead. If you’re scared you’ll be all teary by the end of the speeches, forget the tradition of the couple speaking last and do your speech first. And if the idea of a speech totally terrifies you, skip it all together! You can give out cards to your loved ones or talk to them one on one and let them know how much you appreciate them making your wedding day magical.

Last minute dos & don’ts for writing the best wedding speech ever!

• DO: write it down and don’t try to wing it. Have a paper copy so you’re not frantically trying to find your phone only for it to die when you’re halfway done your speech.
• DON’T: wait until you’re too drunk to give your speech. If you think you’ll be sloshed by 8:00pm, give your speech by 7:00pm.
• DO: feel free to respond to other speeches. If you go last, you can totally improvise a bit and thank you dad for his sweet words or try to defend yourself in the story your best man just told.
• DON’T: hog the mic. If you and your partner are giving the speech together, divide it up so you can both speak equally.
• DO: be courteous of your guests’ time. Especially if you have a lot of speeches planned, try to keep yours short and to the point.
• DON’T: share anything too embarrassing, too intimate or too inside joke-y. Trust us, you’ll regret it when your nana comes up to you later and asks you to explain that story from the time you had a pregnancy scare in Vegas.

CHECK OUT MORE OF OUR WEDDING SPEECH RESOURCES:

• 4 Mother of the Groom Wedding Speech Samples
• Father of the Groom Rehearsal Dinner Speech Samples
• How to Write Your Wedding Speech as the Mother of the Bride
• How to Write Your Wedding Speech as the Father of the Bride
• How to Write an Incredible Best Man Speech
• 5 Maid of Honor Speech Examples
• 12 Tips for Wedding Readers
• The Ultimate Wedding Toast Guide

Are you planning to give a speech at your wedding?  For more wedding planning advice, visit our blog . And to learn more about our team of wedding officiants and book an officiant for your wedding, get in touch! 

written by Riana Ang-Canning

The Ultimate Groom's Wedding Speech Checklist

Don't leave anyone or anything important off your list of thank yous.

The groom's wedding speech is often about covering all bases. It doesn't have the bravado and general LOLs of a best man speech , the gushing and poignant words of a bridesmaid speech , or all the nostalgia and tear-jerking words of a father of the bride or groom speech. Instead, a groom's speech is half admin, half emotion; kind of like an Oscar acceptance!

A chance to shout out the wedding party, thank the ushers, and tell your new in-laws how chuffed you are to be part of the family. To help you write your speech - and to make sure you don't leave anyone out - we've put together a handy groom's wedding speech checklist . You'll thank us later!

A groom doing a speech solo is more common, but we've also seen lots of couples do their thank you speech together , as well as brides making speeches too ( more ladies on the mic please !). Our list covers all bases and standard family structures, but tweak it as is appropriate for you and your crew. We can guarantee if you hit all the points on the list below, then you will have covered all your bases. Hopefully it comes in handy for whatever kind of wedding thank you speech you're making.

Groom's Wedding Speech Checklist

(In no particular order, but this order makes for a nice crescendo!)

• Thank the guests for coming - give a special shout out to anyone who's come a long way.
• Thank any staff or suppliers who worked on the day - only those present.
• Thank the celebrant - if present.
• Thank anyone who helped in the lead up to the day (outside of the wedding party and immediate family) - any one who gave lifts, stitched bunting, glued centrepieces, etc.
• Thank anyone who took part in the day itself - ceremony readings , music, wedding cake baker, etc.
• Mention your new parents in law and siblings - this is a good time to tell them how happy you are to join the family, how welcome/terrified they made you feel, how you promise to be there for their son or daughter/brother or sister..
• Mention your siblings  - be specific about things they helped you with or special memories. This is also a good time to mention any other special family members, grandparents, step-parents, etc.
• Mention your parents - if both your parents are present, thank them both individually, usually an anecdote about the kind of person they've taught you to be goes down well.
• Thank your wedding party - make sure both sides get a mention, though it's fine to gush a bit harder about your best man!
• Thank your other half - for marrying you, for looking fabulous, for being wonderful, and all the other good things you can think of. Remember to tell them all about why you love them and why you can't wait to get started with married life!

Need more help with your wedding speeches - we've got you covered!

• 30 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
• How to Begin a Wedding Speech: Great Opening Lines
• How to Stop Your Wedding Speeches Going on Too Long
• The Correct Order of Speeches at a Wedding?
• 9 Ways to Shake Up Your Wedding Speeches
• How to Give a Flawless Best Man Speech
• Everything You Need To Play Wedding Speech Bingo

Listen & Subscribe to The One Fab Day Wedding Podcast

Episode 22: wedding speeches 101.

You can listen to the One Fab Day Wedding Podcast wherever you get your podcasts , and search them on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Image credits

Tomasz kornas photography, via one fab day, see more in:.

You might also like...

• Bridal Shower
• Bachelor & Bachelorette Parties
• Engagement Party
• Rehearsal Dinner
• Wedding Checklists
• Wedding Hairstyle Ideas
• Wedding Vows Readings
• Wedding Music

In This Article

• Speech Examples
• Speech Template
• Speech Tips
• What to Avoid
• Speech Jokes
• Toast Ideas
• Wedding Party & Reception

Crafting the Perfect Groom Speech: Tips, Examples, and Inspiration

phuket_wedding_planner via Instagram

Everyone eagerly awaits the groom’s speech at the wedding, making it crucial. While celebrating love is easy, preparing a speech often isn’t, with grooms often procrastinating out of panic. Whether shy or pressed for time, we’ve got you covered. See our Post for the best groom wedding speeches tips and ideas ever.

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Groom Speech Examples

In the groom’s speech at a wedding, he blends humor and sincerity, thanking everyone, including those absent. Special mentions go to his new father-in-law, bridesmaids, maid of honor, bride’s mother, and his groomsmen, especially the best man. He concludes with a heartfelt toast to his beloved, expressing deep love, gratitude, and commitment.

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials and short enough to hold your attention. Apparently, it’s my job to do all the thank you’s, so on behalf of my lovely new wife and I, the biggest thank-you goes to all of you for coming. The day would not have been the same without you and neither would my bank balance! But on a serious note, it is lovely to see so many of you here. Particularly those of you who have had to travel many miles. Amy and I would like to thank our parents for all the love and support both emotional and financial they have given us. And a special thank-you to Vanessa who is responsible for making our fantastic wedding cake. Sharon, Sue, Vanessa, Ray, Steve We’d also like to thank Darren for his services as the best man today and of course our ushers. You’ve all done a grand job. Darren, Mark, Jon, Jim, Adam That brings me onto our bridesmaids. Thank you all for your help and for being there for Amy through the ups and downs of wedding planning! I’m sure everyone will agree that you all look stunning today. Nina, Laura, Charlotte, Kirsty, Fiona, Lillie, Jordan, and Emily. Finally, I would personally like to thank my lovely wife, Amy, for having me as her husband! I read somewhere that “You don’t marry the person you can live with, you marry the person you cannot live without”. Well, we’ve lived together for five years and I know I’ve married the right person. I’m so glad I can at last call you my wife. Now all that remains is for me to say please enjoy the rest of the day…… and mine’s a foster!

………..Good evening ladies, gentlemen, family, and friends. First of all, I must say a big “thank you” to Colin for his kind words. His speech was so good, he’s going to do mine for me too. As many of you will know, I am of the shy retiring type that likes to keep quiet and keep my opinions to myself, therefore you can understand my nervousness at standing up here in front of all of you making a speech. And as many of you will also know, I’m also a compulsive liar, but I am still nervous, that bit is true. I have been fearful of this bit for weeks, and as you can imagine, this isn’t the first time today I have arisen from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand. I read while researching wedding speeches that a good speech has a good beginning and a good ending. But the best speech of all is one that keeps these close together. So I will try and keep this as short as possible and will try my best not to do a “Gwinny” with my list of thanks. Firstly I would like to thank any Rangers fans for still being here and not walking out at 4.30 as usual. Pause for cheers But then again, I don’t think we’re friends with any of them anyway. I would like to thank my parents, Ian and Margaret for all the help they have given me over the years, if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be here now. So, Helen, if it doesn’t work out you know who to blame. I would also like to thank Helen’s parents, Colin and Sandra, for making me feel like the son they never wanted, sorry the son they never had, right from day 2. Day 1 was a bit rough, but hey, they’re over it now……….

………….On a serious note, I’d firstly like to say a big thank you to my new Dad Dave. I’m proud to be his son-in-law and hope I can live up to his expectations, which should be easy, compared to his other son Mick! But let us not take this Father, Son thing too seriously, as I’m not into 10-mile runs before breakfast like you were in the Paras. Both Sharon and I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone for coming here today and sharing this special occasion with us. Especially those who brought expensive presents. Its much appreciated! Thank you to Edwin and Elsa, Margaret and Linda and many others who have traveled a long way to be here. It’s certainly a long way from Brighouse! We hope you all enjoy the day, have fun, relax and be merry…………….

Groom Rehearsal Dinner Speech

Congratulations on your upcoming groom speech at the wedding rehearsal dinner! Here are three tips to help you craft a memorable and meaningful speech:

• Keep it concise: Aim for a short and sweet groom speech. Keep it under five minutes to engage your guests without losing their attention.
• Personalize it: Share personal stories and anecdotes about how you met, what you love about your fiancé, and what makes your relationship special. Don’t be afraid to show your emotions.
• Thank your guests: Express your gratitude to those who supported you during the wedding planning. Thank your guests for being a part of your special day.

Here’s an example of a groom rehearsal dinner speech that incorporates these three tips:

Good evening everyone, and thank you for joining us on this special night. I want to start by thanking our parents, who have been there for us every step of the way. Your love and support mean the world to us. I also want to thank our friends and family who have traveled from near and far to be here with us. We feel incredibly blessed to have you in our lives. As we sit here tonight, I can’t help but reflect on how lucky I am to have found my soulmate in [bride’s name]. I knew from the moment I met her that she was the one for me. Her kindness, intelligence, and beauty continue to amaze me every day. [Optional: insert a personal anecdote here] [Optional: insert a joke or humorous story here] As we prepare to start this new chapter of our lives together, I am filled with gratitude and joy. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us.

The Great Groom Speech Template

Here’s a groom speech at wedding template that will help you create a winning speech with ease.

• Thank the guests Say a heartfelt thanks to the guests for leaving their busy schedules to honor you on your big day. Many of them sacrificed time, money, work, and even their safety to come all the way because they love you. Say thank you, mean it, and crack a joke. This is also the time to distribute little gifts or wedding favors to the guests.
• Say some words about the bride Gush about the woman of the moment. Let the guests feel your joy at getting married to the love of your life. Talk about what attracted you to her, what she means to you, and reiterate your vows. You may also seal this part of your speech with a kiss and watch her blush.
• Share a memorable story Getting to your wedding day was a long journey and there are stories that bind you. Let the guests know the beautiful way you met, and share sweet memories, funny ones, and romantic events. If both of you have a favorite song, pick a line from it and incorporate it into your speech. Avoid near break-up situations, forgiveness for some errors, or unpleasant situations that happened in your relationship.
• Share your impressions about the day Recount something beautiful about your wedding day. Maybe talk about how the sun shined bright because it knows an angel got married today. Talk about the beautiful reception, cake, or decor. Just incorporate something from the present.
• Say some words about the best man Your best man is arguably one of your strongest support systems throughout wedding planning. Give him some accolades in your speech. Talk about how you met and him being your main man through life. Appreciate him sincerely and even take a friendly jab at him.
• Thank your parents There is no better time to tell everyone how awesome your parents are. Talk about the bride’s parents too because you’re family now. Thank both families for being in your corner and promise to always behave. That will get in a few laughs.
• Close with a toast Finish your speech with a toast to your wife, parents, guests, love, and happiness.

Groom Speech Tips

Many grooms often find themselves confused when trying to write their groom speech at the wedding. In the days leading up to the big event, they might go into a fit of panic because they have no idea what to write. When crafting a groom speech, it’s important to focus on the introduction, body, and conclusion. You want to captivate the guests right from the beginning of your groom speech, keep them engaged throughout, and conclude with a memorable and impactful finish.

The speech tips below are simple, concise and will give answers to all your questions.

• Prepare your mind and calm your nerves for the speech.
• Run speech by your best man to sieve out off liners.
• Make eye contact with everyone.
• Address the audience as a couple. Include your wife.
• Do away with vulgar words or jokes.
• Include the decent but minimal amount of humor.
• Don’t forget to thank your parents and in-laws
• Always throw some compliments the way of your wife and make the core of your speech.
• Dedicate some part of your speech to your wife. She is the main focus.
• Make the last toast go to your wife.
• Make your speech heartfelt and let your personality shine through.

What Not to Say in the Groom Speech

kreativwedding via Instagram

A perfect speech will give you unending applause from everyone. But a bad speech? The disasters are too much to mention. You will have in-laws getting pissed at you, the bridesmaids coming for your head. Your best man gunning to have you quartered and your wife preparing to give you hell.

To avoid the later and all other unforeseen ills that could happen with a badly given speech, here are some don’ts to the rescue.

Don’ts

• Don’t build your speech around anyone else but your wife.
• Don’t include vulgar words or insensitive jokes.
• Don’t take too much time making your speech. 5-10 minutes is enough.
• Don’t forget to introduce your best man and compliments the bridesmaids.
• Don’t forget to make your last toast to the bride.

Groom Wedding Speech Jokes

Adding a touch of humor to your groom speech can lighten the mood and make your speech memorable. Well-placed jokes can bring smiles and laughter, creating a warm and joyful atmosphere. Here are five examples of jokes that are perfect for a groom speech at a wedding:

When I proposed, I got down on one knee and almost didn’t get back up. She said yes, probably out of pity for my lack of athleticism!

They say marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one!

On our first date, I was so nervous that I spilled coffee all over myself. I guess I wanted to make a hot impression!

I’d like to thank my new in-laws for raising such an amazing woman. And for not mentioning my tendency to leave the toilet seat up… yet!

Planning this wedding was a lot like cooking for the first time – a bit messy, a lot of trial and error, and in the end, totally worth it!

Groom Wedding Toast Ideas

To the father of the bride

“Let us toast to my father in law for raising and giving me this beautiful woman. For being a wonderful father to her, although I’m taking over. For accepting me as a son……. “

To the best man

“To my right-hand man for being there all the way. For taking time off work to make all things ready for my big day. For all the sacrifices you made from way back until now. For being my best friend in the real sense and too many more years as friends…..a toast to my best man (insert name)”

Toast To the guests

“A toast to you wonderful people. You are all amazing. Thanks for being here today and sharing in our joy. To many more years of celebration and happiness………. “

To the bride

“Whoever thought this angelic beauty seated here will be mine? Let’s all make a toast to my heartthrob, whose smile lightens my world. A toast to you baby, for all you are, for all you’ll be. To us, to life, to our love, to your happiness, too many blissful years with me, to our future, to forever…………”

Frequently Asked Questions

What should the groom say in his speech.

The groom’s speech typically includes gratitude, compliments to the bride, thanks to guests, and a toast.

What should the groom say at the rehearsal dinner?

The groom at the rehearsal dinner can express appreciation to those involved, share anecdotes, and convey excitement for the upcoming wedding.

How Long Should A Groom’s Speech Be?

A groom’s speech typically lasts around 5 to 10 minutes. It should be long enough to express gratitude, share anecdotes, and convey heartfelt sentiments, but short enough to maintain guests’ interest and keep the overall flow of the wedding reception.

Thank you all again for being here tonight. Let’s raise a glass to love, laughter, and happily ever after! The groom’s speech is one of the most anticipated speeches at a wedding. It doesn’t need such long preparation but could flop if you don’t get the hang of it. Give the best groom speech at wedding ever with the tips, ideas, and templates we’ve curated in this post. Speak from the heart, let your love shine, add some humor and you’re home free.

Thank you for reading. Please let us know how we did.

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How to Write a Wedding Speech

Last Updated: March 19, 2024 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Jenny Yi . Jenny Yi is the Founder of Chloe+Mint, an award-winning full service event planning company that specializes in wedding planning, design and floral design. Jenny has been in the industry for over 5 years, and also works closely with notable brands and celebrities on branding and events. There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 607,790 times.

For most people, their wedding day will be among the most important days of their lives. As such, it is customary for a close friend or loved one to deliver a speech congratulating the newlyweds on their union. This can be a nerve-wracking prospect if you’re the one called upon to give a speech in front of a big, expectant crowd. As the speechwriter, it will pay off to make sure that you’re organized, keep it concise and practice extensively beforehand.

Things You Should Know

Professional wedding planner Jenny Yi says the wedding speech should be “impactful, short, and sweet.” Explain how you know the bride and groom, share a quick backstory on how they met, then wish them well as a couple.

Sample Speeches

Writing a Meaningful Speech

• The best man and maid of honor are usually each asked to make a short speech on behalf of the wedding party. After that, the microphone is sometimes turned over to whoever would like to say a few words.
• Saying your name and briefly summarizing your history with the bride or groom will be enough. Don’t talk about yourself too much. Remember, the focus of your speech is the married couple.

• Use jokes judiciously to break the initial tension and keep the crowd relaxed. Try not to let your speech turn into a stand up comedy routine.
• Keep your humorous stories and remarks appropriate. There will be people of all ages in your audience, including children.
• Funny stories might include a funny story about the bride and groom's meeting, or an anecdote about one of them as a child.

• Sharing unique memories or stories is much more effective than simply complimenting the bride or groom because it is a more personal touch.

• If you decide to use a quote for this segment of the speech, make sure it is short, relevant and not a cliche.

• Acknowledging the people who helped make the wedding festivities possible will make you appear humble, as well as making them feel appreciated.
• Express your gratitude in a couple sentences. There’s no need to go on and on thanking every person individually by name.

Making Sure You're Prepared

• Treat your speech like you would a school assignment. Compose several drafts, check it for errors and have a friend proofread it to make sure it sounds good.

• Familiarize yourself with the order of presentation if multiple speeches are to be given.
• Don’t spend the entire ceremony fretting over your speech. If you’re sufficiently prepared, you won’t need to give it a second thought until it’s time for you to deliver it.

• Know your speech word for word, but try not to sound like you’re simply reciting it from memory. Pace yourself and give every passage emphasis, emotion and clarity.

• Put your entire speech on a couple note cards rather than a several large sheets of paper. Not only will this look better, it will help you keep your speech at the appropriate length.
• Only look at your notes if you draw a blank or forget the next part. This will allow you to keep your eyes up and engage your audience. Even the most riveting speech will be a bore if the person giving it is reading off a note card the whole time.

Giving the Speech

• Take a few slow, deep breaths. Think about what you’re saying and shut out all other distractions. Imagine that you’re giving your speech to one person instead of a room full of people.
• Have a drink or two if it helps your nerves. Just don’t have too many—you want to be focused and clear-headed when it’s time for you to take the floor.

• It’s perfectly okay to give a short speech. Simply say a few kind words, raise a toast and hand back the microphone.
• Speak slowly and deliberately. It’s easy to start chattering too fast when you’re nervous. By talking slower than you feel like you need to, you’ll probably be going at just the right speed.
• People who are underprepared or extremely anxious tend to talk aimlessly. Avoid this by sticking to what you’ve written and look to the crowd for cues about when their attention is evaporating.

• Take a moment to speak to the bride and/or groom directly.
• It’s normal to get a little choked up! As long as you can finish your speech, there’s no need to worry. It may even be flattering, as it will show the people you’re talking about how much you truly care.

• It’s customary for the best man or groomsmen to toast the bride, and the maid of honor to toast the groom.

Expert Q&A

• Keep quotes to a minimum, as other people's words can distract from what you're trying to say yourself. Thanks Helpful 2 Not Helpful 1
• If you're stumped on how your speech should flow, approach it the way you would a story: give it a beginning, middle and end. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 1
• Ask an honest, objective friend to give you feedback on your speech after you've finished writing it. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

• Never use a premade template you find on the internet to write a wedding speech. Your speech should be a product of your own unique thoughts, feelings and experiences. Thanks Helpful 6 Not Helpful 1
• Don't drink too much before delivering your speech. Thanks Helpful 5 Not Helpful 1
• Leave out especially embarrassing or offensive anecdotes. These are usually considered bad form. You're supposed to be honoring the married couple, not getting a laugh at their expense. Thanks Helpful 6 Not Helpful 3

You Might Also Like

• ↑ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2110745/Lost-words-Top-tips-write-winning-wedding-speech-deliver-like-pro.html
• ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-toasting-tips-for-the-maid-of-honor
• ↑ https://www.presentationmagazine.com/the-structure-and-etiquette-of-wedding-speeches-1041.htm
• ↑ http://www.artofmanliness.com/2008/07/22/how-to-write-deliver-good-best-man-speech/
• ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-toasting-tips-for-the-maid-of-honor/
• ↑ https://finley-h.schools.nsw.gov.au/content/dam/doe/sws/schools/f/finley-h/localcontent/how_to_write_a_speech.pdf
• ↑ https://mediacenter.toastmasters.org/2014-07-01-10-Tips-for-the-Perfect-Wedding-Toast

About This Article

To write a wedding speech, start by introducing yourself and explaining how you know the bride and groom. Then, share some fond memories, like stories from when you were kids or how you met. Next, offer well-wishes to the bride and groom, such as wishing them health, happiness, and prosperity. Alternatively, try opening with a joke or funny anecdote, but make sure that your remarks are appropriate for everyone in attendance. Finally, briefly thank everyone for coming and for making the celebration possible. For tips on how to memorize your speech so that it doesn’t sound rehearsed, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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How to Write a Groom Speech

You’re getting married! Many congratulations.

But in addition to the excitement, I’ll bet that nerves about giving your Groom speech are kicking in.

Not only do you have to speak in front of all your friends and family, but there’s also an entire speech to write first!

Fortunately, writing your speech is not too difficult, as long as you leave enough time to prepare and you follow a structured approach.

Following the steps below will make writing your Groom speech as painless as possible.

Step 1: Clarify the Important Details

Before starting your speech, ensure you know all the details about when and how the speeches will take place at your wedding.

Although you may already be familiar with most of the specifics (it’s your wedding after all!) quickly check with your spouse-to-be or wedding coordinator about any remaining questions.

Here are a few things you should clarify:

• Who else will speak at your wedding, and in what’s the planned order? (1)
• Where do the speeches fall in the overall wedding schedule? (e.g., after dinner but before dancing)
• Will you use a microphone, or will you need to project your voice?
• Will there be a separate “MC” to introduce each speaker or will you take on that role yourself?

(1) Traditionally, it’s the Father of the Bride, then the Groom (that’s you), and then then Best Man but these days there may be additional or alternative roles too.)

Step 2: Brainstorm a Few Initial Ideas

Once you’re clear how your big day will run, it’s time to generate some raw material and ideas for your speech content.

First, write down any thoughts, memories or messages that come easily to mind that you might want to include.

(At this stage, you’re just capturing ideas, not trying to structure them.)

You can use these questions to guide your brainstorming:

• What memories of your relationship stand out?
• What do you most admire and appreciate about your wife-to-be?
• What would you like to say directly to her on this special day?
• What are the ways in which you complement each other well?
• What hopes would you like to express for your future together?

You can jot down notes by hand or type them into a document on your computer.

Tip: Try using sticky notes if writing by hand — it will make organizing your thoughts easier later.

Step 3: Choose a Speech Structure

Next. decide on a basic outline to follow for structuring your speech. This will serve as a helpful guide for organising your ideas.

There are many possible structures you can use. The right one for you will depend on what you want to say and how you want to say it.

Some options include:

• Short and simple: Opening, First Meeting Story, Appreciation, Well Wishes, Toast
• Comprehensive: Opening, How You Met, Why You Love Her, Fond Memories, Hope for the Future, Toast
• Story-driven: Opening, Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Common Themes, Toast
• Personal Qualities: Opening, Quality 1 + examples, Quality 2 + examples, Quality 3 + examples
• Novelty: For instance you could structure your speech as a Yelp review, or a business presentation, or a fairy story.

Once you select an outline, create headings or sections for the main points you’ll cover.

Tip: If using sticky notes, write each section heading on a separate sheet to organise your notes.

Step 4: Organise Your Content

Using your chosen outline, start grouping your brainstormed ideas and thoughts under the appropriate speech sections.

Move your sticky note ideas around or cut and paste your digital notes to reorganise the flow.

Don’t worry about getting it perfect first time. You’re really just trying to get a feel for the material you have and how well it fits into the structure you’ve chosen.

You’ll probably find you have too much content for some sections and not enough for others. Which means you may need to generate some additional ideas to fill any gaps.

The goal of this step is populating the main sections of your speech with the ideas that you intend to cover.

Step 5: Write the First Draft

Once you’ve roughly organised the sections and ideas, it’s time to write out the first full draft of your speech.

(Even if you don’t plan to memorise it word-for-word, writing a complete draft allows you to refine the messaging and transitions between sections.)

I recommend typing your draft out on your computer, as it will be easier to move things around and make revisions later.

Use document headings for each of your major sections and short paragraphs or bullet points for your ideas.

Then start to expand the individual ideas into fuller sentences and paragraphs you might use in your speech.

Tip: These days, most writing software will have some kind of built-in speech recognition. You can use this to verbally expand each of your ideas.

Again, don’t worry too much about the exact phrasing of each part of your speech. It’s more about getting something down onto the page.

Most writers will tell you that editing is much easier than writing so the quicker you can get a very rough version of your speech completed the better.

Here are some questions to guide you while editing:

• Are the individual sections of my speech well balanced in terms of the content (and length of speaking time)?
• Does each section flow smoothly into the next or do I need to add some transitional sentences?
• Is the basic structure working well overall or do I need to go back and consider a different template?

The goal of this step is having a rough draft of approximately the right length that covers most of the ground you want to cover in your speech.

Step 6: Practice and Refine

Once you have a solid first draft completed, start practising your speech out loud and make refinements.

Practicing in front of the mirror is a bit of a cliché and doesn’t work for everyone but why not give it to go?

Another option is to put your smartphone on a small tripod or prop it up against something and film yourself delivering your speech to camera, then review your performance afterwards.

It’s common to find that some sections don’t quite flow as naturally when spoken aloud as they do on the page. Make notes on areas that need rewording or tightening up.

Note: This is an iterative process — practice reading it, then make adjustments, then read again. Repeat this cycle until it feels polished.

Once you’re happy with how it reads aloud, consider doing a practice run with a friend or family member to get feedback before your final revisions.

Note: Time yourself reading the speech, and make sure it fits within the allotted time at your wedding. Adjust content as needed.

Go Write Your Groom Speech!

Now you know how you write your Groom speech, you can just follow these steps and you’ll have a heartfelt, well-structured Groom speech in no time.

The most important thing is to start early and break the task down into manageable steps.

Before you know it, you’ll have a speech that you feel confident to deliver and will put a smile on everyone’s faces.

Read More Like This

Boring! 5 Groom Speech Clichés That Make You Seem Dull and Unoriginal

Groom Speech: Common Questions

Funny Groom Speech Example

How To Write The Ultimate Groom’s Speech

• Help & Advice , Trending , Wedding Planning , wedding-speeches

No clue where to begin when it comes to making a speech on your big day? We’ve got you covered with all the do’s, dont’s and inspo you need to know so you can nail the best groom’s speech ever!

We get that sometimes speeches can be the most dreaded part of your wedding day, but they don’t have to be as scary as you think! This is your chance to connect with your guests and tell them all about your unique journey, so it’s important to get the right balance of informative and entertainment.

Whether you’re rattled with stage fright, suffering from ‘writers block’ or just looking for a fun way to bring your love story to life, then you’ve came to the right place – these foolproof facts can help you pull off a killer groom’s speech without boring the pants of your guests…

RELATED TO: 20 Genuinely Funny Jokes For The Best Man Speech

1. Don’t be too formal (or boring!)

Here we come with the cliché ‘be yourself’ talk, but you really have to let your personality shine through when delivering your groom’s speech. Just because it has the word ‘speech’ in the title doesn’t mean it has to be anything formal or serious – you don’t need a fancy delivery, just speak how you normally would to your friends and family and they’re sure to love it.

2. Keep it short & sweet

We all know someone who could talk for Ireland and it’s easy to glaze over as they go in and out of every detail. While detail can be great, it’s best to keep it to the main points when it comes to your groom’s speech. As soon as you cover the basics like thanking everyone for coming, the parents, bridal party and everyone who helped create your day, then focus on the significant moments of your journey – your guests want something short and easy to follow, especially after a few drinks!

RELATED TO: What Are The Best Man’s Duties? The Ultimate Checklist

3. Know your audience

If you can get your guests smiling from the get-go, this means you can relax a little and know you’re headed in the right direction. Have a think about something funny that specifically relates to your guests or wedding situation rather than an obvious overheard cliché. We would say focus on the funny, but don’t try too hard – if you’re no Jim Carrey, then don’t force yourself to be! Whatever your humour, play on this but be aware of your audience and look out for cues that things are or aren’t being well received.

4. Keep it romantic AND respectful!

If you want to share some deep moments from your love story, be sure to keep it romantic and respectful! If romance isn’t your biggest forte, you can keep it cute by sharing some sweet playful moments, but don’t cross the line – if it’s a private or personal detail your bride probably wouldn’t share with her entire family, it’s best not to take the risk with it (we don’t want your marriage ending before it’s even started!)

RELATED TO:

5. Cute Vs Cringe

Although we love a little romance in our groom’s speech, try not to fall into the trap of sounding like a compilation of all her favourite chick flicks. Rather than saying ‘I’m so lucky I’ve found you’, make it more personal and real, such as ‘my parents always said nothing good would ever come of me always running late, but I’m happy to say I’ve proved them wrong – I missed my bus that day (as usual), and the best thing that came of it was meeting you…’. This is cute but not overly cringey, so leave out the soppy details and keep it light-hearted and warm – your real love story should paint the picture.

READ OUR LATEST MAGAZINE ISSUE – SUMMER 2021 OUT NOW

6. It’s all about the timing

Okay, this is a biggie! One secret yet not-so-secret dread of many wedding guests is a never-ending speech.  Don’t get us wrong, we love hearing all about your special journey together, but try to keep the speech around the 7 – 10 minute mark. This is considered the perfect amount of time for a groom’s speech! This probably ends up covering 1,000 words which is more than enough to hit the main points and get some cute and funny moments in there without anyone falling asleep.

7. Use a quote!

If you find you don’t quite have a way with words, let someone else sum up your feelings for you! There are plenty of great quotes out there from authors, famous storytellers or even your favourite movie. Whatever you choose, make sure you pick a quote that means something to the both of you (not just your favourite Avengers movie!)

RELATED TO: 33 Non-Religious Ceremony Readings That Will Leave You Speechless

8. Make a promise

This a cute and funny way to create a heartfelt moment while also surprising your partner in front of all your friends and family. We’re not saying repeat your vows, but adding a genuine promise that is unique to your person – maybe she’s a little bit of an adrenaline junkie while you’re more of a couch potato? So, promise her that you’re going to make a commitment to try new things and live life to the fullest with her. If there’s something about your other half you admire, then surprise them with a little extra commitment.

Famous Groom’s Speeches we love…

Tom fletcher.

Tom Fletcher from the band McFly did one of the most famous and unusual groom’s speeches of all time! If you’ve been blessed with a singing talent or can hold a decent tune why not replicate his speech with your own song?

Mark Wright

TOWIE star Mark Wright got a little emotional during his groom’s speech to his wife Michelle Keegan.

Through tears, he said: “Not only are you beautiful, but you are one of the most incredible people I have ever met. You truly are sensational in every single way.”  Take inspiration from his touching way to be emotional without making everyone feel awkward.

Singer Nick Jonas from the Jonas Brother had a sweet and touching speech to his now-wife actress Priyanka Chopra, saying he “couldn’t be happier” with his “beautiful wife”.

“It wasn’t too far from here that I took Madhu (Priyanka’s mother) out for lunch and asked if I could marry her daughter. To be here with all of you, who have helped shape who she has become, means a lot to me. You have welcomed me with such open arms. So, thank you for that.

RELATED TO: Has Your Man Turned Into A Groomzilla?

“Tonight, is about celebrating and spending some time together. My first introduction to all of you. So, thank you again and thanks to Madhu for putting this together and my beautiful wife. I couldn’t be happier being with you.” How cute is this? Take inspiration from this classic and sweet speech and your family and friends are sure to gush.

Now for some funny groom speech inspo…

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How to Write the Perfect Groom Speech

It’s the day you’ve been waiting for all your life. You’ve married your beautiful bride, tucked into the delicious food, and now all that is left to do is relax before the evening reception. Wait, don’t forget about your speech!

For many of us, speaking in front of a room full of people is probably pretty nerve wracking. After the act of actually getting married, giving the Groom speech is probably the second most nerve-wracking thing every man has to face on his wedding day, and it’s easy to see why.

To help you out, we’ve talked to some industry professionals to get their expert advice. Below, we have outlined everything you need to mention in order to make your speech a hit.

The Structure

Thank your guests.

Coming to a wedding is a big expense for everyone involved. Your guests pay for a good amount of petrol (or even flights), a hotel room, and your gift. Therefore, it is important you make sure they know they’re appreciated.

The first way you can do this in your speech is by thanking them. On the other hand, if you make your whole speech relatively short, they can get on with drinking and dancing. Trust me, everyone will appreciate this!

Toast absent friends

Toast to those who couldn’t make it, as well as those who are no longer alive. All guests should be thanked, even ones who are not there. Don’t be afraid to show your sensitive side here. It’s a nice touch and it will definitely be appreciated.

Big up your best man and your ushers

Your best man has been with you every step of the way with this wedding, so thank him for this. Don’t forget your ushers, either. Your boys have done you a big favour by playing a part in your wedding day (even if all they did was roll out of bed and put on a nice suit), so don’t be afraid inject a little bromance in your speech.

And, of course, make some jokes at their expense. After mentioning deceased friends and relatives, this is a good time to lighten the mood. Furthermore, your best man probably mentioned some embarrassing anecdotes about you in his speech, so get him back!

Just remember this speech isn’t all about you and your mates

“But please do this briefly,” says Seb of  Great Speech Writing . “One regular complaint from wedding guests is that they came to listen to stories about the bride and groom, not the groom and his best man. Don’t forget who you are marrying and why you have asked people to come and celebrate.”

Don’t forget everyone else. Tradition dictates you mention the bridesmaids and flower girls as well. They played a massive role in the day and have likely also acted as important support for your new wife. Especially if your wife isn’t speaking, make sure they know they are appreciated.

Others who have lent a helping hand

This is not school speech day; however, you should still acknowledge those who’ve made your day the wonderful occasion it’s been. For example, consider the person who set you up with your spouse, or the venue manager. If you haven’t given them a nod yet, do so here.

Be careful of rattling off a list like an Oscars speech, though. “It is important to thank those people who have helped you on the way to this special day but there is always a risk of simply standing there and reading a list of people to whom you wish to show your appreciation,” says Kevin of  Speeches For You .

Seb of Great Speech Writing agrees. “You don’t want you speech to become a long list of thank yous,” he points out. So just keep it to the really vital people. Everyone else can get a thank you note.

Your new in-laws and your own parents

This is your moment to gain some serious credit with your new wife’s parents, so don’t throw it away. Thank them for all they’ve done. If they paid for the wedding, sing their praises to the rafters. Thank them for raising the woman of your dreams and for accepting you into the family. And, even if they haven’t quite accepted you yet, that doesn’t matter right now! Get your now legally-binding relationship with them off to the right start nevertheless and make them feel appreciated.

When it comes to your mum and dad, only you know what to say. They raised you and, hopefully, have supported you through good times and bad, so make sure they feel the love.

Last, but absolutely never least, your new wife is the star of the show on your wedding day. Therefore, make sure the longest and most heartfelt part of your speech is all about her. It’s cliché, yes, but if you don’t mention how beautiful she is, how lucky you are, and how you’re punching well above your weight with her, you won’t have done your job with your speech.

Then, talk about your relationship in as genuine and real a way as you can muster. If you both have a good sense of humour and you like joking around, let that come through here. But, nothing is worse than a groom who spends his speech reciting bad one-liners he found on the internet.

If you do tell some jokes or a funny story about your new wife, think hard about what tales to go for. Some jokes are best left just between you two. That being said, a couple of funny and endearing stories can go a long way.

Make your speech memorable for all the right reasons  

It’s up to you to break the ice, but keep it simple.

“Weddings always have a large mix of people and not many know one another,” Kevin of Speeches for You says. “You and your wife will probably be the only people who know everyone in the room. Including some shared memories will have guests talking to each other after the meal and will make for a much more pleasant atmosphere in the evening.”

Maybe you’re the type of guy who doesn’t really wear his heart on his sleeve, and for whom saying a lot of cheesy, lovey things during your speech would feel alien. In that case, don’t force it. It’ll feel and look awkward and disingenuous.

Bear in mind that the most important thing during this part of your speech is to stay true to yourself and to represent your relationship honestly and with love, and no one can dictate to you how to do that.

Other things to bear in mind

This part of your day doesn’t have to be scary if you don’t let it be. As long as you’ve written a speech that is authentic to you and your relationship, you really can’t go wrong. Be as funny or as serious as you typically are in your everyday life; forcing either one will make for a boring or robotic speech that will be forgettable or even embarrassing.

Timing is key

When it comes to timing, try to keep it to 5-10 minutes. According to Seb, as much as your guests love that you’re happy and in love, they’re mainly there to party. And, before you think that’s untrue or harsh, remember the last time you sat through speeches at a wedding. As for the toasts, keep it down to two; one to the bridesmaids and one to your new wife. Any more than that and your speech could turn into a drinking game.

And if you are left totally blank? “Just remember to thank the parents, the best man for his help, and the guests for coming, and say how beautiful your wife is,” Seb says. That’ll guarantee you say what needs to be said with as little drama as possible!

So, go ahead and write an amazing speech (or ask for help from Seb or Kevin). Wow your guests and, more importantly, your new spouse. We also have speech writing advice for the Father of the Bride and the Best Man . Good luck.

2 thoughts on “ How to Write the Perfect Groom Speech ”

Crucially – don’t get too tied down by ‘the speech rules’ or traditional etiquette. Other than keeping the speech no longer than ten minutes and thanking the important people – the speech is yours to have fun with.

Gray is a well known colour for the grooms. So, this colour is elegant. I love that style thanks.

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90th Birthday Speech

• Celebration
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Home » 90th Birthday Speech

(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out all the different ways the Speechy team can help you write & deliver a great speech. Or check out our new AI-powered team member, SpeechyAI .)

Turning 90 is a big deal and a birthday speech is a great way to add love and laughter to the party. As professional speechwriters we know how to sum up those decades within a witty and meaningful toast.

What To Include In a Birthday Speech?

• Welcome guests and get people laughing with an icebreaker
• Set up the theme of your speech
• Include humorous anecdotes
• A more poignant summary of a life well-lived
• Thank the important friends and family who have supported you / the birthday boy or girl
• Call back to the theme of the speech and final toast

There’s no strict etiquette when it comes to writing a birthday speech, but the basic aim is to unite the party guests in a feel-good moment. It doesn’t matter if there’s only a handful of guests or a full room full, a speech shows you care.  

If it’s your birthday, give an insight into how you feel about turning ninety. Feel free to include a bit of humour but remember getting old is a privilege!  

Your speech is also an opportunity to thank the special friends and family who have contributed to your life over the years. Give the younger folk an insight into you past and how much has changed for both you and the world over the years. Teenagers won’t be able to imagine how you survived your childhood without access to a smartphone!

If you’re delivering a tribute to someone special on their birthday your aim is to make them feel loved. It’s a chance to reminiscence about happy times together and run through some of their life’s achievements and milestones. Pay a tribute to their character and what having them in your life has meant to you.  

How To Begin Writing Your Speech

A birthday speech is about two things..

• The birthday person and what a great character they are
• The passage of time and the things that give our lives meaning  

Write a list of what you might want to include in your speech. Consider…

• Your most cherished memories
• Lessons learnt from life
• Major themes of life – love, hard work, loyalty, the importance of humour – what are the stand out qualities or subjects that have kept recurring through the last ninety years
• The special people who had added love and support over the years

Once you’ve identified all your favourite anecdotes and insights, try to identify a theme that links the content. Ideally, you want your speech to tell a story and have a narrative thread rather than simply a random list of anecdotes and ideas.

If you need help finding at speech structure, then our birthday templates have three options for you to consider. We have a template for people delivering a speech at their own birthday , and another template for people who are paying tribute to a loved one .

How Long Should Your Speech Be?

No celebration speech should be longer than ten minutes. Any more and guests zone out, no matter how great you think the content is.

Generally, a birthday tribute should be between 750 and 1,300 words.

Once you write your first draft, make sure you give it a brutal edit. Even if it falls within the recommendation duration, cutting it down will make it punchier and better.

Cut the cliches and platitudes. Make every line distinctive and original.

How To Start The Speech

Firstly, welcome any guests for making the effort to celebrate with you.

If you’re delivering a tribute to the birthday girl/boy then you may need to introduce yourself to the wider audience.

Try to include some light humour in the first few lines. It will immediately bond everyone and you will relax once you’ve received your first laugh.

Try to avoid any generic birthday gags and, instead, focus your attention on the characters you’re surrounded by. Remember the adage, “It’s funny because it’s true”.

Birthday Speech Humour

Our favourite brand of comedy is based on observation. It’s also the easiest to master.

The adage ‘It’s funny because it’s true’ makes sense.  

Comedians have a skilled eye when it comes to noticing the strange things in life that we take for granted but it’s often just about taking the time to look.

Consider your or the birthday person’s character. Everyone in this world is unique so find the things that make ‘you’ you or them ‘them’.

And because this is a ninetieth birthday speech, you can also consider having fun with how times have changed so dramatically over the years. And maybe also the surprisingly things that remain a fact of life.

Poignant Lines

If we’re lucky, aging happens to us all and we all have something to learn from a speech that talks about the passing of time.

Sure, it’s hard to sum up a lifetime into a ten minute speech but a few well written sentences can have a huge impact.

• “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter” – Hayao Miyazaki
• “It’s not how old you are, it’s how you are old” – Jules Renard
• “You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.” ―  George Bernard Shaw
• “And the beauty of a woman, with passing years only grows!” ―  Audrey Hepburn

Just like a wedding speech, you’re aiming for lots of laughter and a few tears from your audience. And if you can impart a new idea or thought about aging & the meaning of life, well, all the better.

Check out some quotes from clever people about growing old to inspire you.

Deliver Your Speech Like A Pro

As well as helping people write great speeches, we help clients present them like pros too.

Check out our advice on how to deliver your speech on the day. The advice focuses on wedding speeches but equally applies to your celebration speech.

Birthday Speech Do’s and Don’ts

• Ask friends and family for stories –  It’s not cheating, it’s research 
• Start writing early  – ideas will keep popping in your head once you get going
• Cut your first draft in half  – having three average jokes does not add up to one big laugh
• Read it out loud  – you’ll work out your pacing and hear what works and what doesn’t
• Get advice  – Read it to a trusted mate. If you have to explain a joke it ain’t working
• Feel you need to include every random funny anecdote in the speech  – some just won’t add to the overall story you’re telling
• Resort to Googling jokes   – if you found that quip then others will have seen it to
• Forget to leave room for the laughs on the day  – don’t spend months worrying about the speech and then swallow up the laughter by delivering your speech too quickly
• Drink too much before you deliver your speech – sadly ‘Dutch courage’ is a myth. Alcohol increases nerves so don’t go overboard too early.

The Speechwriting Experts

The Speechy team  are TV-trained scriptwriters/comedians by trade & we’ve helped 1,000s of speakers around the world deliver their dream speech.

Our advice has been quoted everywhere from  The New York Times  to  Grazia  and from Forbes to The Observer . Our founder has also featured on the  BBC Sounds’ Best Men podcast with Jason Manford and written ‘ The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’ , published by Little, Brown.

How can we help you?

Birthday speech template, birthday speech for a loved one template, delivery coaching, £ 150, celebration speech edit service, £ 245, bespoke celebration speech, £ 495, or check out our range of speech templates from just £ 29 :, we’re rated ‘excellent' on trustpilot for a reason....

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Law school sweethearts wed in beach ceremony

For years, sun-times readers kept up with the progress of my older son. time for an update..

Ross Steinberg, son of Sun-Times columnist Neil Steinberg, whose life has been chronicled in the pages of the paper since he was an infant, wed Taylor Ackerman on the beach in Charlevoix, Michigan, on July 13.

Courtesy of Kay Marie Photography

Taylor Ann Ackerman and Ross Edward Steinberg were married Saturday, July 13, 2024, on the beach at the Village Suites Bay Harbor in Northern Michigan. Taylor wore a white, rose-patterned lace dress with a parasol, veil, and pearl necklace, and Ross wore a custom black tuxedo with a pocket boutonnière.

I don’t usually take requests from readers. I’m not a hotel lounge pianist; particularly not wedding stories. Once you start, there’d be no end to it. But a certain cherished couple asked me to write an announcement. I’m complying because, well, as their wedding approached, and not wanting to be a source of trouble, as so often happens, I came up with my Three Wedding Rules, which I will share now because they were so helpful: 1) None of this is about me. 2) Do whatever the bride wants. 3) Don’t argue with anybody about anything.

The wedding party was barefoot on the sand. They wore tan suits and eucalyptus dresses. The florals were muted roses and orchids. The weather was perfect. The bride’s brother Brennan officiated the interfaith ceremony. Ross’ brother, Kent, was best man, and Taylor’s sister, Ellie, was maid of honor. Our dog, Kitty, and Taylor’s family dog, Rosie, were the flower girls.

Every wedding is news. The marriage rate in the United States is plummeting — 1 in 4 Americans over 40 has never been married. This couple bucked the trend because, well, love. Every speech at the wedding circled back to it.

At the reception, the couple danced their first dance under a tent to “Say Yes to Heaven” by Lana Del Rey. The centerpieces included their favorite books. Their tables were named after board games, and the signature cocktails were named after their childhood pets — including an NA cocktail, which the groom’s father appreciated. The couple did the hora held aloft in chairs, in the Jewish fashion. As darkness fell, much of the wedding party, including the bride and groom, ended up celebrating in the lake, a very Gatsby touch.

Sun-Times readers have been reading about Ross all his life. He and Taylor first met at a board game club hosted by New York University School of Law on a Friday evening during the fall of 2019. The two played Wingspan in the basement of NYU Law’s D’Agostino Hall.

The groom, 28, of Northbrook, Illinois, is a 2018 graduate of Pomona College and a 2021 graduate of NYU Law. Following law school, he worked as a litigation associate at a New York City law firm and then as a law clerk on the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of California in San Francisco before joining the Federal Trade Commission’s Washington, D.C., office as an antitrust attorney.

During the COVID-19 spring of 2020, NYU Law began hosting classes online, depositing Ross onto our sofa. He spent multiple hours every day talking on the phone and playing online board games. My wife knew something special was occurring by the way his tone changed.

“He’s FLIRTING with someone,” she told me, infusing that verb with surprise and delight. “I can hear it in his voice.” For a while the mystery woman was “T” — my boy jealously guards information, perhaps to keep it from ending up in the newspaper.

The bride, 29, of Charlevoix, Michigan, is a graduate of Central Michigan University. In 2018 she received a master’s degree in global affairs with a concentration in international law and human rights from NYU and graduated from NYU Law in 2022. She works doing tenant defense for a non-profit in the Bronx.

By the time 2021 rolled around, Taylor had a name, and Ross was visiting at her parents’ house in Michigan. In the spirit of fairness, the couple came here and stayed with us for seven weeks. A great way to get to know a person — over coffee in the kitchen, or driving to Springfield for the first vaccination.

“She is a very polite and thoughtful young lady who obviously thinks the world of Ross,” I jotted in my journal. My wife viewed her simply as “joyous.” Taylor’s father is a businessman — she grew up all over the world: South Korea, Germany, Singapore. I knew my wife and I were all in when Easter rolled around and we asked what was needed to celebrate the holiday: daffodils and a cake shaped like a lamb. They gave each other baskets.

The glow from the wedding has lasted a month, so far, and I’m starting to believe it will last forever. The adjective my wife uses to describe the wedding is “magical,” though I prefer “perfect.”

• READ: More columns by Neil Steinberg in the Sun-Times

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Guest Banned From Wedding Reception Is Still Expected to Buy the Bride a "Great Gift"

Since the bride's friend won’t be back from his cruise in time to make the ceremony, he isn't allowed to attend the party.

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Wedding gift etiquette generally suggests that those who can’t attend the celebration should still give the couple a gift anyway. But what happens if you were originally invited to the event but were later barred from it? Such was the case with one Reddit user, who detailed a situation in which his friend prohibited him from attending her reception since he won’t be back from his cruise in time to make the ceremony—but he is still expected to give the woman and her partner a gift.

Key Takeaways

• A man is invited to a close friend’s wedding, but since he won’t come back from his cruise in time to make the ceremony, she told him he isn’t allowed to attend the reception.
• Despite this ban, the bride still expects the guest to buy her a gift.
• Given this recent treatment and the bride's past behavior toward him (failing to introduce him to loved ones and making up excuses whenever he asks her to hang out), the man doesn’t want to give her a wedding gift—but is unsure if it’s the right move.
• Reddit backs the man’s decision, pointing out that she isn’t a true friend.

To the “Am I the A------“ subreddit, the Redditor explained that one of his closest friends is getting married. Although he received an invitation to the affair, since he’s flying back from a European cruise that day, he’ll arrive too late to attend the ceremony . For that reason, the bride told him he isn’t allowed to make an appearance at her reception. “I am happy for her, but I also feel hurt that I’m not allowed to come to the wedding reception,” he wrote. “She said that her wedding planner says I can’t show up since there is a possibility that I’ll miss the ceremony.”

Even though the man is prohibited from attending, the bride supposedly still expects him to give “a great gift ,” knowing that he has money and has financially supported her in the past. “But I feel like she shut the door on me, not making an exception or fighting to have me there,” he expressed. “I will [be] flying back from the opposite corner of the earth and driving two hours to where it’s being held, and she just brushed off the journey it will take me to get there for her.”

Given this recent situation and their past history, the man assumes that the bride is trying to find a reason that will prevent him from showing up to her wedding. According to his post, even though the two of them spent a lot of time together, he never met any of her family or friends. “I don’t even think she ever mentioned me to anyone, and we [have been] close friends for over three years,” he admitted. “The other male in our friend group got to meet all her friends and family and always got mentioned to other[s]—but with me, it was different.” The Redditor also said the bride makes “lame excuses” every time he asks her to hang out, making him come to the conclusion that she’s “embarrassed” of him.

Due to the bride's past and present treatment of him, the guest has decided that he isn’t going to give his friend a wedding gift—despite her assumptions. To get confirmation that he’s making the right decision, the Redditor has turned to the internet for advice. Reddit largely agreed that the guest is completely valid in wanting to skip the gift-giving component. Many even encouraged the man to not only RSVP “no” to the wedding , but also to end his friendship with the bride. “If she wanted you there, you would be able to attend whatever part of the celebrations you were able to,” a user said, while another noted, “There are better ways and better people out there to spend your time and money on.”

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