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Struggling to Write a Wedding Speech? It’s All in the Details.

If you’ve been charged with saying a few words about the newlyweds, here are some tips to help ease your anxiety and inspire you to speak from the heart.

By Dina Gachman

Massive parties with 10-piece bands and champagne fountains gave way to backyard microweddings and Zoom celebrations during the pandemic. But one tradition has stayed strong, and even thrived, over the last year: the wedding speech.

Love them or hate them, “a speech gives people something to talk about, and it’s an amazing bonding juice,” says Heidi Ellert-McDermott, the founder of Speechy , a British company that creates bespoke speeches for weddings around the world. “It can really kick-start a party.”

Public speaking, whether it’s in front of 10 people or 100, can be intimidating, and if you’ve ever sat through a lengthy, cliché-riddled wedding speech, you know it’s not so easy to pull off a memorable toast.

“We’re all so acutely aware that no one has any idea what tomorrow will bring,” said Marisa Polansky, a founder of the Brooklyn-based speech writing service Speech Tank with Kristine Keller. “The fact that two people want to tackle that tomorrow together feels especially noteworthy. As such, there’s more pressure on speeches to bring a weightiness or gravitas to the event, I think. But it’s an opportunity, too.”

If you’ve been charged with saying a few words about the couple, there are a few things to remember that will help you ease your anxiety and inspire you to speak from the heart.

Ask Yourself ‘Why Me?’

If you’re staring at a blank page, take a step back and think about your relationship to the couple. “Start by asking yourself why you’re giving the speech,” said Tess Barker , 38, a Los Angeles-based comedian who has a “deep résumé as a bridesmaid.” Thinking about your relationship to the couple can help you focus on memories you share, and remind you that you’re not giving a State of the Union address — you’re simply speaking to someone you care about.

Don’t Do It Alone

There’s a tendency to think of the speech-writing process as something solitary, but Speechy’s Ms. Ellert-McDermott suggests making it a group effort. “Don’t confine it to this secret thing that has to be done in a dark room the night before when you’re panicking,” she said. Ms. Ellert-McDermott suggests inviting the couple or other friends to brainstorm with you. Gather stories or find out traits or quirks about the couple that other friends or family love.

Ditch the Thank Yous

Don’t start your speech by thanking the guests, the DJ, the florist, the parents, and the band. “Anyone who has listened to an Oscars acceptance speech knows that thank yous are boring,” Ms. Ellert-McDermott said. You can thank people individually, and instead center your speech on stories, humor and emotion. A quick, “Thanks for coming” won’t ruin a speech, but it shouldn’t be the focus.

Find a Theme

Instead of talking about everything there is to know about the couple , narrow it down by identifying a theme. “It will help you stay focused and not be too long-winded, and build an outline,” said Carla Eustache, 38, the owner of Style Perfect Events , which is based in Charlotte, N.C. Ms. Eustache said she has noticed an increase in speeches about resilience and perseverance since the pandemic, but your theme doesn’t have to be lofty. It can center on the bride’s obsession with finding the perfect taco, or the groom’s horrible singing voice. “If you can spot a theme in all the randomness, then that’s how it all comes together,” Ms. Ellert-McDermott said.

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Cut the Clichés

It’s easy to panic and Google a wedding speech template, but cut-and-paste jobs rarely make memorable speeches. If you find yourself writing a string of clichés, toss your speech and get down to basics, said Jason Mitchell Kahn , a New York-based wedding planner and the author of “Getting Groomed: The Ultimate Wedding Planner For Gay Grooms.” “When a client comes to me,” he said, “we focus on three points to hit: how you met, what you loved about them before they met each other, and how you’ve seen their lives enriched as they’ve commingled.” Another tip: Don’t say things like “they’re perfect for each other,” because, as Ms. Ellert-McDermott said, “nobody’s perfect.” Also, try to avoid quotes. “We’ve never heard a good speech that started, ‘As Jane Austen once said,’” said Ms. Keller of Speech Tank.

Know Your Audience

The pandemic has caused many weddings to become smaller and more intimate, which means speeches can get more personal and casual. The key is to read the room, whether it’s virtual or in person. “Don’t talk about a wild night in Vegas on drugs,” Ms. Barker said. “Remember there might be grandparents there.” She also suggests addressing both of the newlyweds. “When someone just gushes over one of the parties, it can get awkward.” Another key to avoiding awkwardness is not leaving people out. “Inside jokes always fall flat,” Ms. Eustache added.

Keep It Short, and Speak Up

Longer doesn’t equal better. Most speech-writing experts suggest three to five minutes, tops. “No one ever gets upset if a speech is too short,” Ms. Keller said. Most experts also prefer holding a piece of paper to scrolling through a phone or device, since that can affect the flow of your speech. Leave the phone at the table, practice, memorize as much as you can, and don’t forget to breathe. With the popularity of outdoor weddings becoming a post-pandemic trend, Mr. Kahn offers another important tip: “Always have a microphone,” he said. “There’s nothing more frustrating than a good speech that people can’t hear.”

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• Who Gives a Speech at a Wedding Reception? How to Write a Wedding Toast Tips for the Father of the Bride Speech How to Write a Best Man Toast Advice for the Maid of Honor Speech What to Know About a Newlywed Toast Public Speaking Experts' Wedding Speech Tips 60 Quotes to Use for Your Wedding Toast

Public Speaking Experts Share Their Top Tips for Giving an Amazing Wedding Speech

Check out their best examples and advice to learn how to knock it out of the park.

Photo by Kurt Boomer

In This Article

Most people would agree that public speaking isn't easy, and this is especially true when you're feeling the added pressure that comes along with giving a speech at a loved one's wedding. Not only do you have the attention of dozens (if not hundreds!) of guests you probably don't know, but you're also trying to appeal to a group of people in a wide range of ages from all different phases of the couple's lives. What's more, you want your speech to delight the couple of the hour and be as appealing to your group of friends as it to the newlyweds' grandparents. All in all, it's a tough task.

Before you panic, know that we're here to help. Ahead, we're sharing a comprehensive guide on what you should include in your speech , how to nail your delivery, and questions to consider to get the brainstorming process started—all from noteworthy speakers, well-established speechwriters, and wedding planners (who have seen it all).

Wedding Speech Template

Every great wedding speech has one thing in common: the right flow. Factor in these guidelines to help you find your own organic rhythm.

Open With a Statement or Question

Don't lead with a joke or a reference to how nervous you are. "The goal is to engage your audience, not make it a boring one-way message," says award-winning motivational speaker Jaime Pfeffer . "You'll lose them if you do this."

Introduce Yourself

After your opener, introduce yourself, says Fallon Carter , a wedding planner, even designer, and professional speaker. "A lot of times, people don't know who is speaking, and they don't know their relationship to the bride or the groom," she says. "It's really important to identify yourself, so make sure you've prepared something."

Address Your Audience

As speaker and life strategy coach Mark Black, CSP , points out, focusing on yourself only enhances nerves. "Instead, concentrate on your audience and how you want them to feel. This will help you to speak from the heart, allowing your speech to do what it's supposed to do: Make the couple feel special while also engaging the audience."

Focus on a Few Points

Seasoned speaker Susan Bender Phelps, CEO of Odyssey Mentoring & Leadership , says her top guideline is to select one to three aspects of the newlyweds that you love and appreciate, along with no more than three short stories to illustrate each of these points (or that one point). "The simple, succinct story or stories where the bride and groom are the hero will work best." This is an excellent way to structure your speech and keep your message focused.

How Long Wedding Speeches Should Be

The ideal length for a speech is three to five minutes, with five minutes being the absolute maximum you should speak for. That's it. "I’ve never been to a wedding where anyone said, 'That was a great wedding, but the best man speech was just too short and that  ruined  it,'" says David Litt , the speechwriter for former President Barack Obama and author of Thanks, Obama .

Carter agrees: "I always say anywhere between two and five minutes—and no more than five minutes," she says. "You want to keep things short and sweet." It's just as important to keep in mind when the speech will take place when determining length, since toasts are often timed with meal courses: "Be mindful of how long a course generally takes or how long it takes people to eat," Carter adds, noting that most courses last between 15 and 20 minutes and that several speeches have to fit inside each window. "If there are other people speaking, you want to be mindful and give them space."

Wedding Speech Tips

Now that you've established the right framework for your words, take note of these essential tips for acing the delivery from a few speaking pros.

Rehearse Regularly

The better prepared you are, the more confident you'll be and the better your speech will be, says author and professional speaker Barry Maher . A good rule of thumb is to practice the speech enough that you can remember the points you want to make and the order in which you want to make them. That way, you can look out to the crowd and make eye contact every so often.

Record Yourself Practicing

Use your phone to take a video of yourself practicing, suggests Kate Kenfield , speaker and sex educator. "It can be a little uncomfortable to watch yourself, but you'll be able to identify distracting mannerisms, such as the verbal pauses 'um,' 'uh,' and 'like'." It's also a good idea to practice your speech in front of someone else. "A second opinion can help you craft your piece and make it that much stronger," she says.

Don't forget body language! Rehearse the speech in front of a mirror and notice things like your facial expression, eye contact, and hand position.

Avoid Alcohol

Although it may be tempting to look for some liquid courage, alcohol definitely won't do you any favors, warns keynote speaker Amy Morin , author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do . "It may cause you to slur your speech and forget your lines, so wait until after your toast to celebrate," she advises. If you need a drink to loosen up the nerves or can't refrain from participating in a toast without being rude, stick to one glass of Champagne before you address the crowd.

Use Nerves to Your Advantage

A little nervousness can actually liven up your speech. "I get worried if I'm not a little nervous," says Maher. "I'll actually try to make myself a little tense to get my energy level up." The key is to harness that energy and communicate it in a positive, genuine way; tensing up to the point that you forget your words or panic won't make for a great presentation.

Be Yourself

Keep in mind that you're not putting on a show, only sharing your personal perspective. Trying too hard to force the funny can yield the opposite of the desired effect, cautions Matt Dalley, co-founder of Simply Eloped . "I've noticed that keeping it short and sweet, heartfelt and warm, and coming across as authentic and focused on the couple is something we are all capable of and generates some very wonderful moments," he says.

Never Embarrass the Newlyweds

It's a wedding toast, not a roast. While this should go without saying, keep the bachelor or bachelorette party jokes out of it, and remember that grandma and possibly a few colleagues are in the audience, notes Laurie Battaglia , a keynote speaker and workplace strategist. "It's okay to look back at childhood and refer to something funny, but ask yourself if you'd like 200-plus of your closest friends knowing that story about you."

Use Your Notes

Reading your speech straight from a piece of paper is a big no-no. However, having a couple of note cards handy is encouraged. "You're likely to be nervous, excited, and exhausted, which can make you forget your lines," explains Morin. "The audience won't care if you glance at your notes. In fact, there's a good chance they won't even notice."

Wedding Speech Brainstorm Ideas

Need some inspiration? Ask yourself these questions to get the brainstorming process going.

• Who will speak before you? After you? How will this affect the content of your toast? (Perhaps you want to include a reference to their speech, thank them for an introduction, or introduce the next speaker).
• Is there someone you should thank for making the event possible and inviting you to speak?
• What would you want to hear in this speech if you were in the audience?
• Is there a favorite story or memory that the couple would want you to share with their friends and family?

Wedding Speech Examples to Make Your Own

So, what does it look like when all these elements come together? Wedding vow and speechwriter Katelyn Peterson , owner and creator of Wedding Words , offered us three examples of successful toasts to inspire your own.

Maid of Honor Wedding Speech Example

"Hi, I’m Maya, the bride’s older sister . With Lucy being three years younger, we fell right into our respective roles as sister-rivals growing up. We constantly fought over stolen clothes, monopolizing the phone back when landlines were a thing, and what boy band to blare from the car speakers. I’m still Team Backstreet Boys while Lucy is forever indebted to NSYNC.

Looking back on those memories, I should have stepped up and granted Lucy permission to wear my favorite sweater for picture day, to hand her the phone once in a while, and to let her play, 'Bye Bye Bye.' Even I can admit that’s a good one. But despite Lucy being the younger sister, she has always been more patient, more accommodating, and more thoughtful than me. And that’s because when it comes to the people she loves, she’s all in.

She’s the one to prioritize their desires. She’s the one to compromise first. And, she’s the one to support their dreams as if they were her own. 

This is why it makes me so happy to know that Lucy has found a home in David. He matches her in compassion, thoughtfulness, and warmth. And I know he’ll spend his life prioritizing her desires, being ready to compromise, and supporting her dreams as his own.

Cheers to Lucy and David! May you always feel loved because you always put each other first."

Best Man Wedding Speech Example

"Hello, everyone. My name is Luke and I’m the best man . I met Robert eight years ago when I became his neighbor. His reputation preceded him as I had heard about the 'Block Party King' before my closing papers were inked. 

Rob has never been the guy to wear fancy clothes. In fact, I’m still in shock seeing him in that tux tonight. And he’s never been the guy to show off even though the work he’s put into his vintage Mustang could make Henry Ford himself envious.

But when it comes to cooking, he should receive an award. His pulled pork is a staple at our summer block parties and his homemade barbeque sauce has remained our neighborhood’s best-kept secret. But the most satisfying part about his delicious dishes is that there’s always plenty to go around. And Rob makes sure your plate is never empty. I have no idea how he pulls it off, but Rob has a covert ability to scoop seconds onto your plate without you ever seeing him do it. I hope you all came hungry tonight, folks. You’ve been warned! 

The first time I met Jasmine I could immediately tell she was an amazing person. She laughed at his jokes which I never thought anyone would get. She supported his career and the nonstop travel involved. But most importantly, whenever we’re all hanging out, Jasmine is the one always topping off Rob’s plate with more pasta, more chicken, more of everything. When she’s around, it’s never empty. 

And that’s when I saw what a perfect match they were for each other. I know they will always put each other first, make sure their needs are met, and will never allow the other to go hungry.

So let’s raise our glasses to toast the newlyweds! As you begin this next chapter together, may your plates and your hearts always remain full."

Father of the Bride Wedding Speech Example

"Good evening, family, and friends. I’m Daniel Lee, the father of the bride. I’d like to welcome you to this special occasion where we get to celebrate the love between my daughter Allison and her new wife, Kristin. 

Standing up here today, I’m reminded of all the moments that led to this significant one. The dance recitals that ended with standing ovations and the soccer games that concluded with winning scoreboards. 

But, while those were fun and rewarding times, those aren’t the moments I cherish most with Allison. The memories that make me smile the brightest are those in-between the big stuff moments. It’s the makeshift magic shows in our living room using a bedsheet that Allison confiscated from our linen closet to convert into a curtain. It’s the countless tea parties she hosted with exclusive invitations just for me and her beloved stuffed bear, Buttons. And it’s the way she’d beg to stay up for just five more minutes but was asleep on the couch by minute number two.

Those everyday, blink-and-you’ll-miss-them moments with Allison are the ones that gave color to my life and filled my heart with a happiness I never knew could exist.

So, my beautiful daughter, as you begin your life with Kristin today, I have one wish for you: May your warmest memories come from the ordinary moments throughout your marriage, and may those moments give you a reason to smile brighter every day. Cheers! I love you both." —Daniel

What Not to Say in a Wedding Speech

Your job when delivering a wedding speech is to keep things light—tell an anecdote, make an emotional connection, then wish the couple well before you close out. Anything that doesn't feel definitively positive should be avoided. "I would advocate against bringing up negative details, specifically past relationships or past spouses," says Carter. "Skip anything that you wouldn't want to be physically recorded and played over and over again—this is a rule of thumb."

Keep it light, delicate, and present- and future-focused, Carter adds. "If you're going to go into the past, make those stories really intentional," she says. "Bring those stories back to who they are now. Your mission is to create a great environment and vibe and to potentially give some information about one of the newlyweds, so that it's enlightening for all guests."

A Guide to Wedding Reception Toasts

Who Gives a Speech at a Wedding Reception?

How to Write a Wedding Toast

Tips for the Father of the Bride Speech

How to Write a Best Man Toast

Advice for the Maid of Honor Speech

What to Know About a Newlywed Toast

Public Speaking Experts' Wedding Speech Tips

60 Quotes to Use for Your Wedding Toast

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How To Write A Wedding Speech: The Ultimate Guide For Do’s, Don’ts, and Delivery PART 1/3: Do’s

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how to write a wedding speech dos

Someone you love is getting married, and you’ve just been asked to give a speech at the wedding. What an honor! But also, if you’re not used to giving speeches, what a nightmare! Public speaking can be scary , which is why many people prefer to avoid it. But when your bestie asks you to make a speech at his or her wedding, it’s time to rally. But now you’re wondering if you even know how to write a wedding speech! What makes some wedding speeches fun and memorable, and what makes others cringy and fall flat? We’ve got you. We’ve put together the ultimate guide for how to write a wedding speech, focusing on things you definitely should do, things you definitely should NOT do, and then how to deliver your killer wedding speech like a pro.

If you’re wondering how to write a wedding speech, here are a few “Do’s” to keep in mind.

• Start planning early
• Introduce yourself and how you know the bride and groom
• Thanks to hosts, guests, and wedding party; congratulate the couple
• Make it personal
• Think of 3 traits with 3 stories
• Talk about the couple
• Have a beginning, middle, and end
• Consider your audience
• Keep it short and sweet
• It’s okay to be simple and meaningful

1. Start planning early

If you don’t know how to write a wedding speech but the bride just asked you to give one, this is not a time to procrastinate. Public speaking is one of the number one fears many people have, so it’s likely you’ve avoided giving too many public speeches before this. And unless you’re a performer or a veteran improv comedian, you might not do too well winging this one. If you get nervous in front of an audience (as most of us do), the best defense against freezing up when you take the mic is being prepared. 

As soon as you know you’ve been asked to give a speech at the wedding, begin jotting down notes immediately. Whenever you’re inspired by a thought of the couple or remember an anecdote that might be worth retelling, make note of it. This will help to give you a pool of ideas to draw from when you start writing down the speech.

Begin gathering ideas and writing the speech a couple of weeks to a month before the wedding. You’ll need time to edit, fine-tune it, and make it concise. And as wedding showers, bachelorette parties, and other wedding festivities begin, you might find there are entertaining stories from these events you want to add as well. If you want to write it all at once, you can do that too. However, make sure to sleep on it and come back with fresh eyes. You don’t want just “okay,” you want your speech to be heartfelt and meaningful.

You will also want to begin early to give yourself time to practice and rehearse your speech plenty of times.

2. Introduce yourself and how you know the bride and groom

No matter how large or small the wedding is, it’s likely you will not be familiar with many of the guests on one or both sides. And they won’t be familiar with you either. So don’t leave them guessing! 

Make sure when you start to write a wedding speech to introduce yourself and mention how you know the couple. This will help them understand the context of your speech, which will also help it to be more well-received. 

3. Thank hosts, guests, and wedding party; congratulate the couple

It’s also courteous to take this time to thank the hosts and other members of the wedding party for all the hard work that went into the event, and to thank guests for being there to support the newlyweds, especially those who had to travel far. 

It’s also a good time to officially congratulate the newlyweds and offer them your personal well-wishes for their future. It is imperative that you don’t forget this part, because they are the whole reason you’re there and giving a speech!

4. Make it personal

Whether you are the maid of honor, the best man, father of the bride, or just a friend, you were asked to give a speech because of your close connection and relationship with either the bride or groom (or both). 

And since you know your friend as well as you do, you probably have plenty of stories to share; so the next tip for how to write a wedding speech is don’t hesitate to make it personal and share those stories! This will also help guests get to know the other half of the couple they might not know as well or are just meeting for the first time. And those guests who do know them will love hearing some entertaining stories they might not have heard yet.

5. Think of 3 traits with 3 stories

If you’re finding it difficult to come up with anything, a useful approach for how to write a wedding speech is to think of 3 positive defining traits or qualities of the bride or groom and recount three stories or examples that illuminate a time they exhibited these traits. These stories could be comedic, heartwarming, or both. Just make sure they are relevant and entertaining!

6. Talk about the couple

If you’re the maid of honor and have been chatting up the bride for the whole speech, part of how to write a wedding speech is to make sure at some point it circles around to the groom, too, and to the two of them as a couple.  

Recount the time you met him, or how you remember talking about him with the bride in the beginning stages of their relationship. If you don’t know the groom all that well, talk about how good they are as a couple and about how happy he makes her. 

And If you’re not a fan of the groom, this is not the time to air your grievances. Always keep it positive. 

7. Have a beginning, middle, and end

All good speeches have a good flow and take the audience along with it. 

Don’t let your speech fall flat or jumble together in a haphazard confusion of disconnected anecdotes. Give it the structure of an overarching theme, with a beginning, a middle, and an end. 

We are not talking about a novel here, just make sure there is a direction to where the speech is going, and that the destination, end, or sentiment is achieved. It doesn’t need to be Charlie Chaplin in The Great Dictator, but a three-act structure does help keep you grounded. Most people also follow a story easier when there is a clear direction for a story or speech. 

8. Consider your audience

The next thing to keep in mind when considering how to write a wedding speech is to make sure you consider who your audience is. 

This is not the bachelor or bachelorette party. There will be a wide range of people present from children to the elderly, and from close friends of the bride and groom to casual acquaintances and coworkers. Make sure your speech is free of any crudeness that might not be fit for such a varied audience. Also, this isn’t the time to take a shot at any of the religious cermonies.

Be considerate and keep it positive and use language everyone can relate to. 

9. Keep it short and sweet

You want your speech to be meaningful and memorable; but the wedding is not about you, and yours is not the only speech. 

No one ever complains about a speech being too short, but they do begin to grumble if it runs on too long. A good rule of thumb to keep in mind when figuring out how to write a wedding speech is to keep your speech between 2-5 minutes long. Any longer than 5 minutes and you’ll lose everyone to thoughts of cake and whether or not to Cupid Shuffle later. 

10. Add humor

Don’t be afraid to be funny! Another tip for how to write a wedding speech is that if you’ve got a lighthearted, creative, joking side, use it and add humor to your speech! Everyone likes to be entertained. 

This doesn’t mean you should scour the internet for generic wedding-themed jokes, but if you’ve got some good original material to use that helps relate a story about the bride or groom in a comedic way, do it. As long as you’re not making fun of the couple but having fun with them, jokes are great. Or you can even poke fun at yourself to illuminate a higher quality in your bestie. It’s all about making the newlyweds shine. 

If you’re creative and have other talents, use them! If you are musical, bust out your instrument and/or vocal cords and make the speech in the form of a song! Use props, and get the other guests involved! The newlyweds will feel special because you created something for them, and the guests will love joining in the fun.

11. It’s okay to be simple and meaningful

If entertaining isn’t your thing, that’s okay! Don’t force it – just be yourself. It’s okay to be simple and meaningful with your speech. Always keep in mind when you go to write a wedding speech that what’s important is that you are genuine and speak from the heart.

Hopefully, you found these tips for how to write a wedding speech helpful, and can start writing today! And stay tuned to our blog for the next part in this ultimate guide for how to write a wedding speech where we highlight a few things you should definitely avoid.

Love this content and want more? Read more about weddings on our blog ! Involved in the wedding planning process and the bride is still looking for a venue ? Give us a call today and we’ll help you find the perfect place!

Jennings Trace

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Nail Your Bride Speech With These Tips and Templates

• Cathryn is an editor at The Knot, where she focuses on all things planning—from inspiration and design, to traditions, to invitations.
• Before joining The Knot Worldwide, Cathryn spent years as a food editor
• Cathryn holds a bachelor's degree from Trinity College and a certificate in publishing from Columbia University

You've reached for tissues during tear-jerker father-of-the-bride speeches and already warned your MOH to please not tell that story in her reception address , but do brides give speeches at weddings? A bride speech is not traditional or required—wedding toasts are usually reserved for the father of the bride, the best man and the maid of honor to congratulate the happy couple. But if you're a bride feeling inspired to grab the mic and shout-out your nearest and dearest (new spouse included), then we say go for it. Below, we're outlining what to say, who to thank and the best way to deliver a meaningful wedding speech , so you'll feel confident slotting yourself into the reception speech order of events. (Bonus: We've also got public speaking tips, so you won't drop the microphone—or worse, your champagne flute—with nervous, sweaty palms.)

In this article: Printable Template | How to Write | Examples | Tips | FAQs

Printable Bride Speech Template

Let this printable bride wedding speech template be your quick guide on the go. Tape it above your desk, pin it to your Pinterest board, leave it next to your computer as you search for wedding vendors for those last final touches or fold it up in your purse and look at it while waiting in line at the grocery store to keep those creative juices flowing. You'll find a deeper dive into each step in the next section.

How to Write a Bride Speech Step-by-Step

Follow these steps to write a wedding speech from the bride that'll cover all your bases, from the sentimental, to the silly, to the sweet. Plus, the outline—designed by Katelyn Peterson , a wedding vow and speech writer, will help you break up the task into manageable sections and fend off wedding writer's block.

1. Thank Your Guests

The first step when it comes to how to write a killer bride speech: thank your favorite people! The room is filled with loved ones who put in the time, money and effort to support you on your special day, so the first words you say should be a big, heartfelt "thank you."

2. Shout-Out Your VIPs

Your guests of honor—like parents, in-laws and grandparents—deserve extra gratitude. They're truly the folks that have stayed by your side through the ups and downs of wedding planning and life, so they should get a special callout. You can mention a specific moment of support or keep it general.

3. Share a Story About Your Spouse

This is your chance to shed some light on you and your partner's relationship. Whether it's surrounding a moment from the early stages of dating that turned into an inside joke or exemplifying a quality of theirs that is beloved by everyone in the room (generosity, sense of humor etc.), sharing a sweet anecdote about your relationship will remind everyone why they've gathered to celebrate your otherworldly love.

4. Connect the Story to Your Wedding Day

Tie the central theme of the story you choose into the present day to show how far you've come as a couple. Don't worry, you don't need to be a pro short story writer to accomplish this. Even a simple "they've kept me smiling from the day I met them all the way to walking down the aisle today" will help your speech feel cohesive and thought out.

5. Toast to Love

Ask everyone to raise their glasses and toast to love. It'll not only cover the newly minted married couple in the room (that's you, of course), but it also nods to the richness of the sentiment—because the room is also filled with the love between friends and family, new and old, all gathered to honor you.

Bride Wedding Speech Examples

Now that you've got the basic structure down, see it in action with these examples of a bride speech at a wedding. Get inspiration from these classic, short and sweet, and funny bride wedding speech examples to craft an address that feels true to you.

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Classic bride wedding speech example.

Good evening everyone and welcome! My new spouse and I would like to thank you all for being here today to make our day extra special. We'd especially like to thank both of our parents for their consistent support, generosity, and love, not only leading up to this day, but throughout our entire lives.

Northern Michigan is a special place for Charli and me. From first dates spent on the lake to family gatherings every 4th of July weekend, this very location has been the backdrop to our love story. And so it only made sense for us to get married in the same place where it all began. It brings us so much happiness and gratitude to know that the first page of this new chapter as a married couple is being written at my parent's lake house and with all of the most important people in our lives.

Here's a toast to everyone here who has been there for us in the past, who is here for us today and who we know will continue contributing to our love story through each new passing year of our marriage. We love you all. Cheers!

Funny Bride Wedding Speech Example

Just in case you didn't get the picture with the approximately 8,000 hugs I've already given out today, I'd like to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart again for coming to our wedding. I'd like to give some special shout-outs to my parents and my new in-laws for always being there for us, now and throughout our lives, including fielding absurd questions such as: "but what if everyone gets lost on their way to our very-clearly-marked-on-Google-Maps ceremony venue?" with the utmost grace and patience.

I'm not sure how many of you know this story, but on Jared and I's second date, we went ice skating. At some point during our laps around the rink, his belt fell off because of a broken buckle—we didn't notice it until a gentleman came up behind us and handed it back to him by saying, "Sir, your belt." The deadpan delivery has us both in fits of laughter—and the broken belt ended up being a fun way for me to get pulled around the rink, no longer relying on my sub-par skating skills.

Today, I look back on that moment as a metaphor for how he has since "skated" through life with me with humor, spontaneity and shared joy. And also a preview into a long legacy of loveable, questionable wardrobe choices that make him who he is. So, if you see me getting twirled around the dancefloor with a stray belt tonight, just go with it—it's part of our relationship lore.

Cheers to our love and the love that surrounds us—we're so happy you're here.

Short Bride Wedding Speech Examples

Example 1 I'd just like to say thank you all for coming today, especially to my parents and grandparents, who have been there for every milestone—big and small.

I'd also like to draw your attention to the cannoli table getting set up as we speak—it's filled with pastries from our favorite North End Italian bakery that's open until midnight (and we snacked on their cannolis at least once a week when we lived in the neighborhood). We hope they'll be a sweet way to end your evening tonight as it was for us during our dating days.

With that, cheers to how sweet love is.

Example 2 Everyone, thank you so much for coming together with us to celebrate. I'd love to give a special thanks to my brother, who, despite a twice-delayed flight from the other side of the country, made it here today.

As some of you know, we got engaged on the beach below—and I remember how windy that afternoon was. And though it didn't do wonders for our hair, those powerful gusts made us feel so present and in the moment; and later became a symbol of our steady love for each other. So, since tonight is also an especially windy evening, I hope you can reframe the less-than-ideal weather to mean that love is all around you.

Cheers to you all, we love you so much.

Bride Speech Tips

Use these quick tips to help you avoid any speech snafus during both the composition and the delivery. (Don't worry, you'll do great!)

Use the "Thank You Sandwich" Method

When it comes to how to start a bride wedding speech and how to end a bride wedding speech, you'll want to show gratitude for your guests on both ends. The opening line sets the tone, while the last line can be a creative callback to earlier moments in your address. "A callback happens when you reference something from earlier in the speech," says Peterson. For instance, let's say you shared that you and your spouse fell in love while singing the Hall of Oates' song "You Make My Dreams Come True." Then, your last line could be: "Cheers to you all for being here and helping make our dreams come true."

Don't Go Too Hard on the Jokes

There's a time and place for that embarrassing story about your partner in college (it's called the bach party), but your wedding reception is definitely not the occasion to share edgy jokes or awkward anecdotes, Peterson says. Moreover, while incorporating jokes into your bride speech can certainly make it more entertaining, don't feel pressure to make it a "Saturday Night Live" monologue. The key with bride speech jokes, Peterson says, is sprinkling them throughout in a subtle way. "This isn't a comedy act, so you don't need to try too hard," she says. "Instead, add playful tones where it feels natural and where your personality can shine."

Write Your Speech in Advance

While you're busy planning a million other details of your special day (Venue! Flowers! Dress! Cake!), it's easy to forget about writing the bride speech until the last minute. Set aside some intentional time for yourself to write your bride speech ideally a month or two, but at least a week before the wedding to avoid unnecessary stress. Peterson suggests slotting in a few 30-minute speech writing sessions into your schedule. Focus the first session on brainstorming material, then dive into writing and editing in the next couple.

Rely on Practice, Not Memorization

On your wedding day, there's going to be so much going on and emotions will be running high in the best way. The last thing you want is to worry about forgetting your speech. This is why Peterson recommends printing out your speech and bringing two extra copies on the wedding day in case one gets lost. Also, one of the biggest wedding speech mistakes you can make is not practicing. Reciting it a few times at home will do wonders to help you feel confident and allow for moments where you can look up from your paper to gaze upon your loved ones.

Use a Microphone

Make sure everyone can hear your thoughtful address by using a microphone. Yes, they're necessary no matter how small your affair is or how much you can project your voice from your theater-kid days. Pro tip: Remember to move the mic when you move your head so the sound doesn't get lost or muffled.

Bride Speech Frequently Asked Questions

Got questions about what to say in a wedding speech when you're the bride? We've got answers below on the basics.

How Long Should a Bride Speech Be?

For a bride speech at the reception, the motto is the shorter, the better. Keep it between two to five minutes, max. There will likely be other speeches for the guests to listen to in the wedding line-up, so you don't want the speeches as a whole to cut into all of the other festivities too much.

Who Does the Bride Thank in Her Speech?

Time is of the essence, so you should only thank the VIP guests—such as your parents, in-laws and grandparents—in your bride speech. Peterson adds: "You can also add a sweet line about how your new spouse has supported you and what you're most excited about in your future together."

It's safe to skip thanking the wedding party and your wedding vendors during the reception (even though it can be tempting to shout-out the stellar work of your incredible vendor team). Thank your wedding party during the rehearsal dinner instead and send handwritten notes or leave a review for vendors after the wedding as a thank-you.

How To Cut The Clichés And Write An Epic Wedding Speech

Today is National Thesaurus Day . Yes, it’s a thing, and the so-called tool is often used to think of creative or alternative language when you’re writing your speech, especially if you’re trying to avoid the cliches and write an epic wedding speech. If your wedding day is fast approaching and you’re still struggling to write your speech or you want to be super organised and nail it early we have some top tips from speech expert Heidi Ellert-McDermott, founder of Speechy and author of The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches …

“At Speechy, the bespoke wedding speech service, our writers are banned from using about a dozen words. Words like ‘soulmate’ and ‘beautiful’ are so over-used they’re now the equivalent of white noise; meaningless and bland. When it comes to speeches (or actually any content) you want to use words that wake up an audience. ‘Newness’ makes people sit up and notice and it also helps retention of your message.”

“Admittedly, a thesaurus isn’t always great at coming up with less clichéd words. For ‘soulmate’ an online thesaurus suggests ‘true love’ and ‘friend’. It also suggests rather odd alternatives. Personally, I wouldn’t want to call my partner my ‘alter ego’ (unless I was Batgirl) or my ‘companion’ (unless I was picking up my pension). But a thesaurus does get the brain thinking… the suggestion of ‘partner’ makes me think ‘partner in crime’ and that seems a fitting moniker for a lot of newlyweds.”

“The thesaurus alternatives for ‘beautiful’ does provide a few decent nuggets like ‘delightful’, ‘dazzling’, ‘exquisite’ and ‘foxy’ no less. Not all of them will suit every newlywed but a thesaurus stops you lazily using the same platitudes as so many other brides and grooms getting hitched. ‘Love’ is obviously another word that gets used a lot on a wedding day, and to be honest, we don’t have many great alternatives. Supposedly the Eskimos have over 50 different words for snow and I reckon we need a few more for one of our prime motivations in life. Words like ‘affection’, ‘desire’, and ‘fondness’ just don’t cut it.”

“Ironically, I sometimes find it more powerful to write about why someone ‘likes’ their partner as opposed to using the L-word. It somehow feels more refreshing to tell someone why you think they’re a certifiable good egg”

“Another great way to avoid the clichéd adjectives is to avoid them altogether. Instead of referring to your partner as ‘gorgeous’ or ‘stunning’, tell them they’re the perfect blend of Audrey Hepburn chic and Debbie Harry’s style. Tell them that they’re so damn cool they manage to make Crocs look sexy. Tell them that when you saw them walking down the aisle, you had to resist taking a picture and posting it on Instagram; hashtag-I-can’t-believe-she’s-marrying-me.”

“Rather than saying ‘I love you’, say they’re the only person you could last four days in a tent with and still want to cuddle. Tell them they have the power to make waiting an hour in the rain for the AA to arrive a pleasurable experience. Tell them they’re the only person in the world who you’d share a Krispy Kreme doughnut with.”

“So my advice? Cut the clichés and add some personality to your sentiments. Start with a thesaurus and then get creative. Tell your partner and your guests something that’s worth remembering.”

IF YOU LOVED THIS ADVICE ON HOW TO WRITE AN EPIC WEDDING SPEECH PIN IT FOR LATER!

If you loved this advice on how to write an epic wedding speech you may also like;

10 ways to write and deliver a great wedding speech that people will remember

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How to Write a Wedding Speech

Last Updated: March 19, 2024 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Jenny Yi . Jenny Yi is the Founder of Chloe+Mint, an award-winning full service event planning company that specializes in wedding planning, design and floral design. Jenny has been in the industry for over 5 years, and also works closely with notable brands and celebrities on branding and events. There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 604,220 times.

For most people, their wedding day will be among the most important days of their lives. As such, it is customary for a close friend or loved one to deliver a speech congratulating the newlyweds on their union. This can be a nerve-wracking prospect if you’re the one called upon to give a speech in front of a big, expectant crowd. As the speechwriter, it will pay off to make sure that you’re organized, keep it concise and practice extensively beforehand.

Things You Should Know

Professional wedding planner Jenny Yi says the wedding speech should be “impactful, short, and sweet.” Explain how you know the bride and groom, share a quick backstory on how they met, then wish them well as a couple.

Sample Speeches

Writing a Meaningful Speech

• The best man and maid of honor are usually each asked to make a short speech on behalf of the wedding party. After that, the microphone is sometimes turned over to whoever would like to say a few words.
• Saying your name and briefly summarizing your history with the bride or groom will be enough. Don’t talk about yourself too much. Remember, the focus of your speech is the married couple.

• Use jokes judiciously to break the initial tension and keep the crowd relaxed. Try not to let your speech turn into a stand up comedy routine.
• Keep your humorous stories and remarks appropriate. There will be people of all ages in your audience, including children.
• Funny stories might include a funny story about the bride and groom's meeting, or an anecdote about one of them as a child.

• Sharing unique memories or stories is much more effective than simply complimenting the bride or groom because it is a more personal touch.

• If you decide to use a quote for this segment of the speech, make sure it is short, relevant and not a cliche.

• Acknowledging the people who helped make the wedding festivities possible will make you appear humble, as well as making them feel appreciated.
• Express your gratitude in a couple sentences. There’s no need to go on and on thanking every person individually by name.

Making Sure You're Prepared

• Treat your speech like you would a school assignment. Compose several drafts, check it for errors and have a friend proofread it to make sure it sounds good.

• Familiarize yourself with the order of presentation if multiple speeches are to be given.
• Don’t spend the entire ceremony fretting over your speech. If you’re sufficiently prepared, you won’t need to give it a second thought until it’s time for you to deliver it.

• Know your speech word for word, but try not to sound like you’re simply reciting it from memory. Pace yourself and give every passage emphasis, emotion and clarity.

• Put your entire speech on a couple note cards rather than a several large sheets of paper. Not only will this look better, it will help you keep your speech at the appropriate length.
• Only look at your notes if you draw a blank or forget the next part. This will allow you to keep your eyes up and engage your audience. Even the most riveting speech will be a bore if the person giving it is reading off a note card the whole time.

Giving the Speech

• Take a few slow, deep breaths. Think about what you’re saying and shut out all other distractions. Imagine that you’re giving your speech to one person instead of a room full of people.
• Have a drink or two if it helps your nerves. Just don’t have too many—you want to be focused and clear-headed when it’s time for you to take the floor.

• It’s perfectly okay to give a short speech. Simply say a few kind words, raise a toast and hand back the microphone.
• Speak slowly and deliberately. It’s easy to start chattering too fast when you’re nervous. By talking slower than you feel like you need to, you’ll probably be going at just the right speed.
• People who are underprepared or extremely anxious tend to talk aimlessly. Avoid this by sticking to what you’ve written and look to the crowd for cues about when their attention is evaporating.

• Take a moment to speak to the bride and/or groom directly.
• It’s normal to get a little choked up! As long as you can finish your speech, there’s no need to worry. It may even be flattering, as it will show the people you’re talking about how much you truly care.

• It’s customary for the best man or groomsmen to toast the bride, and the maid of honor to toast the groom.

Expert Q&A

• Keep quotes to a minimum, as other people's words can distract from what you're trying to say yourself. Thanks Helpful 2 Not Helpful 1
• If you're stumped on how your speech should flow, approach it the way you would a story: give it a beginning, middle and end. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 1
• Ask an honest, objective friend to give you feedback on your speech after you've finished writing it. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

• Never use a premade template you find on the internet to write a wedding speech. Your speech should be a product of your own unique thoughts, feelings and experiences. Thanks Helpful 6 Not Helpful 1
• Don't drink too much before delivering your speech. Thanks Helpful 5 Not Helpful 1
• Leave out especially embarrassing or offensive anecdotes. These are usually considered bad form. You're supposed to be honoring the married couple, not getting a laugh at their expense. Thanks Helpful 6 Not Helpful 3

You Might Also Like

• ↑ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2110745/Lost-words-Top-tips-write-winning-wedding-speech-deliver-like-pro.html
• ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-toasting-tips-for-the-maid-of-honor
• ↑ https://www.presentationmagazine.com/the-structure-and-etiquette-of-wedding-speeches-1041.htm
• ↑ http://www.artofmanliness.com/2008/07/22/how-to-write-deliver-good-best-man-speech/
• ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-toasting-tips-for-the-maid-of-honor/
• ↑ https://finley-h.schools.nsw.gov.au/content/dam/doe/sws/schools/f/finley-h/localcontent/how_to_write_a_speech.pdf
• ↑ https://mediacenter.toastmasters.org/2014-07-01-10-Tips-for-the-Perfect-Wedding-Toast

About This Article

To write a wedding speech, start by introducing yourself and explaining how you know the bride and groom. Then, share some fond memories, like stories from when you were kids or how you met. Next, offer well-wishes to the bride and groom, such as wishing them health, happiness, and prosperity. Alternatively, try opening with a joke or funny anecdote, but make sure that your remarks are appropriate for everyone in attendance. Finally, briefly thank everyone for coming and for making the celebration possible. For tips on how to memorize your speech so that it doesn’t sound rehearsed, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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How to Write a Great Wedding Speech

Being asked to deliver a wedding speech can feel equal parts humbling and terrifying! Not only is there the daunting thought of speaking in front of a crowd, there’s also the overwhelming task of writing a memorable speech that ticks all the right boxes, from humorous to heartfelt. No pressure, right?!

If you’re currently trying to prepare for your wedding speech duties but feeling stuck with writer’s block, we’re here to help. From etiquette tips to wording examples, keep reading for our top tips on writing an epic wedding speech that leaves a lasting impression.

How to Write a Great Wedding Speech: Etiquette Tips

Before you sit down to craft your speech, take a moment to think first about the bigger picture. Whether you’re a bridesmaid, best man or sibling, there are a few etiquette guidelines you should keep in mind to ensure your speech is memorable for all the right reasons. We’ve rounded up the most important “unspoken rules” for a wedding toast below:

• A great wedding speech strikes the perfect balance between sentimental and light-hearted. If your speech is overly sentimental and gushy, it might feel uncomfortable amongst a large crowd. On the flipside, if it’s too light-hearted and silly, it might come across as disrespectful or insincere. A 50:50 ratio will ensure your speech hits the mark!
• The sweet spot for any wedding speech is generally between 2-5 minutes. This is the perfect amount of time to deliver a meaningful speech without losing the interest of guests or impacting the reception timeline.
• While funny anecdotes are a great way to personalise your speech, steer clear of any embarrassing stories (or mentions of ex-partners!) that could make anyone feel uncomfortable. Keep it clean!
• On that note – some gentle teasing is completely fine if that suits your relationship with the couple, but don’t paint anyone in an unflattering light. Playful humour should only be used if you’re 150% sure it will be well-received! 
• Don’t copy a speech you found online word-for-word. Templates are a helpful starting point for ideas and inspiration, but the best wedding speeches are always personalised to reflect your relationship with the couple. 
• Make sure your speech is directed at both of the newlyweds. Even though you’ll probably have a closer relationship with one half of the couple, it’s important to address both parties instead of delivering a one-sided speech. This is their big day, after all!

Gather Your Material

Now that the etiquette guidelines have been set, it’s time to start crafting your speech! Staring at a blank page can be seriously intimidating, so we recommend taking the pressure off and using a brainstorming session to get those creative juices flowing instead.

Grab a notebook and pen and take a trip down memory lane with these helpful prompts below:

• What are your favourite qualities and personality traits of the bride/groom?
• What are some examples of those traits in action?
• How did you meet both halves of the couple?
• What was your first impression of them, and how has this evolved?
• What are your favourite memories and experiences together?
• What do you admire about their relationship?
• What makes them such a great match?
• What do you hope for them in the future?

You might find it helpful to look back on old photos or even chat amongst other close friends and family members for further inspiration. Brainstorming your way through these prompts will give you the bones of a memorable, fun and personal speech, with plenty of material to work with.

Structuring Your Speech

Now for the fun part – pulling your speech together! A great wedding speech will usually include the following key elements. You can use these elements as a simple outline to build your speech around:

• Introduction

Words of thanks

Personal anecdotes

Praise for the relationship

Introduction:

Open your speech by introducing yourself and your relationship to the couple. Your opening line could be as simple as:

“Hi everybody! For those who don’t know me, I’m (name), and I’m (bride/groom name)’s (sister/best man/maid of honour/etc).”

If you’re going for a more humorous approach, you could follow your introduction by cracking a joke to break the ice, such as:

“Just a couple of rules before we begin. If you have a mobile phone – that’s fine, leave it switched on, entertain yourselves. And if anyone texts you any good jokes, could you send them my way?”

“When I first sat down and started reflecting on what I wanted to say here tonight, I kept thinking to myself, ‘I can’t believe (name) is getting married in less than an hour.”

Welcoming guests and sharing some words of appreciation is always a nice touch, especially if the couple isn’t planning on making their own speech. You might want to include a special thanks to guests who have travelled, or for those who have helped with the wedding planning. For example:

“I’d like to thank you all for being here today to celebrate the marriage of (name) to (name), especially for those who have travelled far and wide. I’d also like to thank everyone who has helped in the lead up to the wedding in whatever way possible, big or small – you’ve all played a part to make the day special.”

This is the heart and soul of your speech! Look back on your brainstorming session and pick out some of your favourite memories as you begin to address the couple more personally. You might want to kick things off by talking about your relationship with the person you’re closest to, before sharing a fun anecdote or highlighting their best qualities. For example:

“I’ve known (name) all my life – we’ve laughed together, cried together, and watched way too many episodes of Friends together. I’ll never forget the time we (insert a funny anecdote or favourite memory)”

“I’ve had the privilege of growing up with (name), and so I couldn’t go past this opportunity to share some of my favourite memories of them. We’ve certainly shared some interesting moments – from the time we (insert a funny anecdote), to the time we (insert a favourite memory)”

“For those who know (name) well, I think we can all agree that one of her best qualities is her spontaneous nature. This was definitely highlighted when we (insert a funny anecdote or two).”

Next, you’ll want to expand on your relationship with their partner. For example:

“When (name) introduced me to (name), I had a good feeling about him immediately. I couldn’t think of anyone better suited for my (sister/friend/etc) – he’s funny, kind, intelligent, and most importantly – shares our family’s love for bad jokes and boardgames”

“I remember when (name) returned from his first date with (name). I’m not joking when I say he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face for the next 3 days! And when I met (name) a few weeks later, it all made sense. (Name), you’re an absolute catch, and one of the sweetest people I know. Thank you for being such an amazing partner to my best mate”

“I’ve known (name) for a long time, and I can honestly say I’ve never seen him as happy as he’s been since knowing (name). (Name), you have such a big heart and you truly light up a room. You’ve fit so perfectly into our family and we couldn’t imagine our lives without you in it!”

Next, share some praise for the couple and what you admire about their relationship. This is where you’ll want to bring it back to what this day is all about! For example:

“I think everyone here will agree that you two are a perfect match. From the way (name) supports (name)’s online shopping addiction, to your shared love of dogs and the crazy adventures you take together, I’m so happy that you’ve each found your soulmate and I can’t wait to see where this journey takes you.”

“I’ve been lucky enough to watch your relationship grow from the very beginning, and I can honestly say I’ve never seen two people so in love. The way you support each other and experience life together is beautiful to witness, and I just know that your marriage will be filled with passion, happiness and adventure”

End your speech by asking guests to raise their glasses for a toast. This is a great time to include a meaningful quote, words of marriage advice, or wishes for the future. For example:

“So with that being said, I’d like to invite everyone to raise their glasses and toast the newlyweds as they embark on this exciting journey together. Here’s to the happy couple – we love you guys!”

“If everyone could please raise their glasses for the newlyweds – I’d like to wish you both a lifetime of love, happiness, romance and adventure together. Cheers!”

“As you embark on this new chapter together, I wanted to leave you with a quote: A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Ladies and gents, please raise your glasses and join me in toasting the newlyweds – cheers!”

Nailing Your Wedding Speech

Once you’ve crafted your wedding speech, remember: practice makes perfect, so alleviate those public speaking nerves by rehearsing your speech until you feel confident and comfortable with the material. Notecards are a great resource to keep you on track, but try not to rely on them – it’s okay not to follow your script word for word. Instead, allow yourself to be swept up in the moment and enjoy the experience!

While it might seem scary, being asked to deliver a wedding speech is actually an honour and shows just how much the newlyweds value your relationship. Simply follow our pointers above, and you’ll be sure to bring down the house with a memorable speech written from the heart.

Looking for more wedding guest tips? Check out our guide on exactly what to write in a wedding card here !

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How to write a great wedding speech

They say weddings are stressful events to organise, but I think it is arguable that writing a wedding speech is one of the hardest and most daunting tasks of the big day. This wonderful yet unenviable task is often expected of the Best Man, the Father of the Bride, and sometimes the Maid of Honour or a bridesmaid. In fact, if someone close to you is getting married, you could be asked to do a speech, whatever your relationship with the happy couple; whilst the tradition of speeches is still going strong at weddings, the people delivering them is far more varied now than ever before.

Other wedding guests often anticipate the speeches with excitement, and people will probably expect to laugh, and maybe cry a little too. This expectation places a big pressure on the speech writers. Should you share that secret from your school days? Is that joke a step too far? Will anyone laugh at that anecdote, or is it boring? Take a look through our top tips below, and blow the wedding party away with your speech writing skills!

Write it down

The first tip is a simple one: DO write it down. Don’t try to wing it – you don’t know how much your nerves will affect you on the day. Don’t leave it until the last minute either – give yourself plenty of time to write it and rewrite it as needed. You will save yourself a lot of stress by starting your speech writing in plenty of time.

Take it seriously

It may be a bit daunting, and you may not be very keen on the idea of public speaking, but it is an honour to be asked to speak on someone’s wedding day. Approach it with a serious manner. A lot of trust is being placed on you, so you don’t want to let the happy couple down on the day by not having taken your role seriously.

Be accurate

Make sure you are accurate with details that matter, such as names and dates. Nobody wants to witness a Best Man mispronounce a late relative’s name. This is why writing it down is so important – if your notes say Judy, you are much less likely to read it and then say Sue by mistake!

Less is more

It is far better to deliver a short but brilliant speech than to deliver a 20 minute speech with 5 minutes of great content, and 15 minutes of waffle. Be concise. If you feel yourself drifting from the point you intended to make, take a look at your notes and get back on track.

Rehearse it

Long before the big day, run through your speech with a trusted and honest friend. Does it have flow? Is it offensive? Does it show the Bride & Groom in a positive light? Is it touching? Keep your audience in mind whilst you’re doing this.

Introduce yourself

Let your audience know who you are when you step up to the microphone. You may be close to the Bride or Groom, but the Bride’s Aunt, for example,  probably doesn’t have a clue who you are. Sharing your identity will help the audience relate to you and what you are saying.

Share a story about the Bride & Groom

Everybody loves to hear a nice story about the happy couple – whether it is about when they first met, a funny story from their time together, or a lovely moment you witnessed. Keep it about the Bride and Groom, and not about yourself – it is their day after all.

Share a personal experience

Share a bit about the personality of the Bride and Groom. Perhaps the Bride got you through a tough time in your life, or the Groom’s Mother passed away leading him to raise money for a related charity. Or it might be as simple as the Bride always having a smile on her face, or time for others. Keep it positive and focus on their good traits.

Use humour sensibly

Don’t be vulgar or inappropriate; always keep your audience in mind. It will no doubt be a very mixed crowd, so keep it light. A popular way to inject humour into a speech is to gently rib the Bride or Groom, in a loving manner. Do not use ‘in-jokes’ or take the opportunity to have a dig at someone!

Make them cry

Weddings are emotional days for many involved, and most people expect to shed a tear during the speeches. Pop a heart-warming story into your speech, and pay homage to those who couldn’t attend the wedding due to ill health or their having passed away. Remember to lighten the mood before the toast though.

Use a quote

If you’re struggling to put your own thoughts into words, why not pop a famous and meaningful quote into your speech? Many people do, with success – just make sure it’s relevant!

Praise & compliment

No wedding speech is complete without a big dose of praise. Weddings are stressful for everyone involved, so any thanks and compliments will be gratefully received. Don’t forget to thank parents if they paid or contributed to the wedding. And I’m sure the Bride and Bridesmaids won’t mind being told they look beautiful, even if they’ve already been told 7 times!

End with a toast

Propose a toast to the Bride and Groom at the end of your speech. Ask everyone to raise their glass, and wish the newlyweds well on their future together. Don’t forget to take a sip yourself.

Lucy is our lead editor and has been passionate about stationery since childhood. She has a particular fondness for rollerball and calligraphy pens and is a keen advocate of snail mail.

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How to write a wedding speech: the ultimate guide.

If you ’ re looking to write a memorable wedding speech , having a plan and knowing what to do and what to avoid can help you achieve success . Here is the ultimate guide for how to write a wedding speech , focusing on dos and don ’ ts , as well as how to deliver it like a pro . Do :

1 . Start planning early : As soon as you know you are giving a speech at the wedding , begin j ot ting down notes , gathering ideas , and writing the speech . You ’ ll need time to edit , fine - t une it , and make it concise .

2 . Introdu ce yourself and how you know the bride and groom : Make sure you let the guests know who you are and how you are connected to the couple .

3 . Thank hosts , guests , and wedding party ; congratulate the couple : Take the opportunity to thank the hosts and guests for attending , and congratulate the couple .

4 . Make it personal : Share stories and anecdotes that illustrate how well you know the bride or groom .

5 . Think of 3 traits with 3 stories : If you ’ re struggling for ideas , choose three positive qualities of the bride or groom and share three stories that show those traits .

6 . Talk about the couple : Make sure to mention both the bride and groom , and talk about how good they are as a couple .

7 . Have a beginning , middle , and end : Give your speech a good structure and flow , with a beginning , a middle , and an end .

8 . Consider your audience : Be consider ate and use language everyone can relate to .

9 . Keep it short and sweet : Keep your speech between 2 - 5 minutes long .

10 . Add humor : If you ’ ve got some good original material , use it to make your speech funny and entertaining .

11 . It ’ s okay to be simple and meaningful : Don ’ t force it – just be yourself and speak from the heart .

By following these tips , you can write a heartfelt and meaningful wedding speech that will make the newly w eds and the guests feel special . Keep an eye out for part two of this guide for tips on what to avoid when writing a wedding speech .

At  Po etic  Wedding  Cre ations ,  we  understand  the  importance  of  a  groom ’ s  speech  and  are  here  to  help  make  sure  it ’ s  perfect .  With  our  years  of  experience  in  speech  writing  and  public  speaking ,  we  can  help  you  craft  an  eloqu ent  and  memorable  groom ’ s  speech  that  you ’ ll  be  proud  of .  Our  team  of  experts  will  work  with  you  to  understand  your  story  and  create  an  original  speech  that  is  tailored  to  your  personality  and  the  occasion .  We  understand  that  giving  a  groom ’ s  speech  is  a  daunting  task  and  are  here  to  ensure  that  the  process  is  enjoyable  and  stress - free .  Contact  us  today  to  find  out  how  we  can  help  you  create  an  unforgettable  speech  for  your  special  day .

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A Complete Guide to Writing Wedding Speeches in 2020

I like building and growing simple yet powerful products for the world and the worldwide web.

Published Date : November 10, 2020

Reading Time :

Weddings are always such emotional and beautiful moments. From the proposal to the honeymoon farewell, everything is breathtakingly beautiful. I will be sharing a comprehensive guide on wedding speeches of different kinds. I will include how to make the speech , examples, dos and don’ts, helpful tips, videos, and more.

However, there is no denying that wedding speeches always take one’s hat off the most during wedding ceremonies. They can make you cry or laugh or wish you weren’t single. 

Because of their elite responsibility, presenting wedding speeches could be a rather daunting and may leave you at a loss for words and struggling. What do you do when you feel in over your head with your wedding speech order or need more tips for your speech presentation?

If you want to learn all these, continue reading as we discover them. However, if all these intricacies bother you or you only need some final helpful tips for a wedding speech presentation, you can skip to the subheading before the conclusion. 

The Traditional Wedding Speech Order: Who Can Give a Toast or Speech

Like the actual occasion, the wedding speech order has evolved to include some things and eliminate other customs. Traditional wedding speeches usually follow the bride’s order, then the groom, best man, and other speech presenters.  

These days, brides and bridesmaids also give speeches per women’s empowerment; some even include a wedding officiant speech separate from the ceremony. So, now the wedding speech order will be:

• Father of the bride
• Maid of honor or bridesmaids
• Any other speech
• Best man speech (it is always the last speech )

Father of the Bride Speech

The bride’s father’s speech starts the wedding speech order. It is one of those traditionally important speeches that will usually:

• Welcome and thank guests for coming to the occasion.
• Compliment his daughter, share heartwarming stories about her, and include why you are proud of her.
• Welcome the groom to your family and toast to absent family and friends 
• Give the groom some praise and let him know that you are happy that he is a new family member.
• Make a toast to the new couple.

Why the Father of the Bride Wedding Speeches are Traditionally Important 

The father of the bride’s wedding speeches draws their importance from the fact that the bride’s family traditionally hosts the wedding or pays for it. However, as wedding protocols keep evolving, the sponsors of the wedding change.

Some couples pay for their weddings, while others split the costs between their families. However, the father of the bride speech hasn’t changed position, and now, some couples include the father of the groom speech in the lineup, too.

The Father of the Bride Speech Template 

An essential feature of the father of the bride wedding speech order is gratitude, emotion, and moderate jokes. 

Despite being the father of a lovely bride, the possibility of fear of public speaking is not out of the question, so overcoming or finding ways to deal with your anxiety is an essential part of the presentation.

Fear aside, the bride’s father will usually talk first and most likely give the wedding welcome speech , so you must get started . Before I get to the template proper, let us look at the steps to create a killer speech .

The First Step is Research

Quality research will give you most of the details you need to create an excellent wedding speech template. Some questions that need to be on your research list are:

• Who the other speakers are, and the order in which they will speak.
• The position of your speech in the wedding schedule
• Will they provide a sound system, or must you practice projection?
• Will you introduce the other speakers, or is that someone else’s job?

Generate Ideas for Father of the Bride Wedding Speeches and Organize them in a Structure.

The first process is brainstorming and writing out general ideas and thoughts that could accompany your speech . Here, you can note stories you may want to tell, stories you want to share, or things you are grateful for having your daughter.

Next, you determine what your speech will look like: define your tone. Afterward, you will want to organize your thoughts around the structure you created to prepare for your initial draft.

Drafting and Revision

After organizing your wedding speech order, you are ready to start writing seriously. After putting down your draft, you must review it and make appropriate corrections, leading to my next point on the template.

The template is essential to give you a sense of structure and avoid straying too far from the subject matter. So what are the elements of the father of the bride wedding speech templates?

• A proper introduction that lets them know who you are. You can throw in a joke since it will still be appropriate.
• Welcome the wedding guests and give honorable mentions to the groom’s parents and the bride’s mother.
• Share a heartwarming memory or a short story. Let your daughter know you are very proud of her on her big day.
• Welcome the groom to your family 
• You can share a word of advice or wisdom.
• Don’t forget to make a toast to the new couple.

If your speech meets these criteria, you are good to go. All that is left is practice and let your natural charm work.

Watch this Father of the Bride speech for more clarity : 

Groom’s Speech

The groom’s wedding speech comes after the bride’s father’s toast and before the best man’s speech . We can easily nickname the groom’s toast as the wedding thank you speech since it is the perfect opportunity to:

• Appreciate your guests.
• Appreciate and flatter your new wife.
• Thank your and the bride’s parents for their role in your life and the wedding.
• Respond to your father-in-law.
• Thank everyone who participated in making your wedding day successful.

The Groom’s Wedding Speech Order

Like other wedding speeches, the groom’s speech requires proper preparation to pull it off. After preparing for your toast, you must respond to the address before yours, leading to our next point.

Start By Responding to the Bride’s Father

Since the groom’s wedding speech comes after the father of the bride’s toast, it is appropriate for the groom to respond to whatever he says. You shouldn’t forget to thank him, especially if he sponsored the wedding. Your starting tone will set the pace for the speech , so it must work well.

Appreciate your Guests

Most guests don’t pay for your wedding, but they go to great lengths to contribute to celebrating you. Some guests travel a long way to attend your wedding and spend money to purchase their outfits for the ceremony, so they deserve gratitude.

Express Gratitude to The Bride’s Family and Yours

Both families deserve gratitude for helping you and your bride become who you are today, and they also contributed their quota to helping your dream wedding become a reality. Although your gratitude doesn’t need to be extensive, you should give honor and credit to who it is due.

Thank your Best Man, Groomsmen, and the Bridesmaids

Since they all played an essential role in your wedding, thank them and remember to compliment them. Try to avoid inside jokes, especially when thanking your best man, since all the wedding guests will not understand your joke. 

You can use this medium to introduce your best man or the next presenter coming after you. You can also use this medium to thank others who helped make your wedding a reality.

Compliment your Wife and Make a Toast

This part lets you get cheesy and say all the sweet things you did not add to your vows. You can thank your bride for the effort she put into her appearance and let her know how you feel about getting married to her. 

You can end this section and your speech with a lovely quote or poem dedication to your bride and cue in your best man if there isn’t an MC to do so.

Check out this video as an example of an excellent groom’s speech : 

Best Man Wedding Speech

In a traditional wedding speech order, the best man speech is usually the final speech . Most of the time,  the best man’s speech would be the funniest one. 

Some elements to remember while preparing the best man’s wedding speech are:

• Try to avoid inside jokes at all costs.
• Avoid topics about exes.
• Avoid criminal history or sexual topics.
• Remember your opening one-liner as it sets the tone for your entire speech . 
• Direct most of your jokes at the groom to avoid taking jabs at the bride.

Outlining the Best Man Wedding Speech Order: Creating a Template

When creating the best man’s wedding speech , here is a great template to use:

• Introduce yourself and share how you know the couple with the audience
• Appreciate the groom for choosing you as his best man. You could make jokes here, also.
• Appreciate the couple for a fantastic event so far
• Share stories and anecdotes from your friendship with the groom thus far. Remember that it is a family affair, so inappropriate topics aren’t welcome. Remember to avoid inside jokes.
• Talk about how you think the couple are better together and compliment them.
• Propose a toast to the couple. 

Learn more:

Bride’s Speech

The bride’s speech isn’t part of the traditional wedding speech order . However, some couples replace the groom’s toast for the bride’s speech , and others accommodate both.

Writing the Bride’s Wedding Speeches 

The bride’s wedding speech order is similar to the groom’s. The template is as follows:

• Welcoming and appreciating guests
• Talk about your experience walking up the aisle or any other memorable event.
• Compliment your husband and the groom’s men
• Thank your bridesmaids and other friends for making your day special
• Share a brief story about your spouse, how you met, got engaged, and more.
• Commend your parents and your husband’s parents for raising both of you and for their role in making your wedding lovely.
• Talk about anyone you would have loved to be present but isn’t (like a dead relative).
• Talk to your new spouse and share your future hopes with them in minimal words.

Bridesmaids or Maid of Honor Speech

Being the maid of honor comes with numerous responsibilities. You help the bride with wedding planning and shopping and keep her from becoming a bridezilla. The maid of honor also has to plan the bridal shower or bachelorette party, sign as a witness on the marriage registry, and more.

Sometimes, the wedding program includes a maid of honor speech , which adds more responsibility to your plate. Since females are excellent at multitasking, all these responsibilities are daunting but achievable.

Maids of honor must start planning their wedding speeches months before the event. As the wedding approaches, preparation becomes more time-consuming, especially if they are the bride’s sister.

Writing the Maid of Honour’s Wedding Speech 

Like any speech , having general ideas of what you want to say during your speech is normal. For a better-organized address, you can use this template.

Start with An Introduction

Help your audience know you by sharing your name and relationship with the bride. If you are best friends, you can tell them how long you have known each other.

Thank the Guests That Showed Up and Assisted in Making the Bride’s Day

You understand the stress of planning the wedding almost as much as the bride. Therefore, thank the guests who showed up to honor your friend or sister. Don’t undermine their efforts by comparing it to yours. Instead, they appreciate the sacrifices they made.

Determine the Path of Your Speech with a Story

The story you tell now can change the direction of your toast. You could go for a heartwarming tale, an embarrassing one, or a memory from planning the wedding together.

Input a Relevant Quote

You can use a quote to add depth to your speech , but it is unnecessary. You don’t need to spend hours brainstorming to find the perfect anecdote.

It is better to avoid the quote if it is irrelevant to your speech and the wedding.

Convey The Emotions You Feel

Let your speech come from your heart to your friend or sister. Women are usually sentimental, so you can cry without fear of judgment during your toast.

End Strong with a Toast

You can end even stronger than you began. Be creative with your end and propose a toast to the lovely couple.

Father of the Groom Speech

The father of the groom’s speech is quite similar to the bride’s father’s toast. However, it is not part of the traditional order of wedding speeches.

The Role of the Father of the Groom

Most people cannot clearly define the role of the groom’s father in the wedding process. Of those that can figure out their functions, many assume that they don’t do much work. 

However, here are some of the groom’s duties during their son’s wedding from pre-wedding till post-ceremony.

• Advice your son and direct him on the right paths to take
• Escort the groom’s mother to her seat
• Host the engagement party
• Lead the toast during rehearsal dinners
• Reach out to relatives and inform them that your son is getting married.
• Contribute to the cost of the wedding
• Reassuring your son when he feels uneasy
• Welcoming guests during the reception
• Depending on the ceremony, you may lead your son down the aisle.
• Present the rehearsal dinner speech , where you let your son know how proud you are of him and welcome your new daughter to the family.
• Socializing with guests and mingling

Even after the wedding, your son may need you as a constant pillar of support during his marriage. 

The Father of the Groom Wedding Speech Template 

When you finish putting down thoughts and ideas for your father of the groom’s speech , it is time to organize your toast with an appropriate template.

The groom’s father’s wedding speech order is similar to that of the bride’s father. Here is a template you can use to organize your speech .

Introduce Yourself to the Guests

Not everyone knows you, so you can help them gain perspective by introducing yourself.

Welcome and Appreciate the Wedding Guests

I appreciate their effort to show up for your son and daughter-in-law. Also, thank the organizers and other people.

Talk about Your Son Briefly

You can share relevant stories about your son and some events that made you see how lucky you are to be his dad.

Share How You Feel about the Bride and the Couple

Pay attention to the bride and commend her for positively influencing your son. You can decide to talk about when you first officially met and more.

Talk about the couple as one and about how you feel about them, share memories, and more. If you want, you can share some advice.

End with a Toast

Finish with a toast to the couple’s future, gaining a new daughter, and more. You can end with a one-liner that summarizes most of your speech .

Learn more here: https://youtu.be/q6_CWioh5G0

The Timing For Wedding Speeches

Traditionally, people give all the wedding speeches during the wedding reception. The exact timing for each toast depends on the ceremony order. 

Some people prefer to give the toasts during the rehearsal dinner, especially if they want it to be more intimate or have no plans to hold a proper reception.

Writing a Remarkable Wedding Speech: Preparing the Perfect Wedding Speech Template

Irrespective of the side you represent during the wedding, most speeches follow a similar template. If you have difficulty coming up with an order for your toast, I will share a template in the next subheading. 

However, if your problem is with public speaking , this video may help you:

Remember the wedding speech order and that the wedding welcome speech or address is by the bride’s father, and then everyone comes after.

You can organize your thoughts around this template if you have numerous ideas or none.

Begin With an Introduction 

Not everyone knows who you are, so a quick introduction before your wedding speech order will give your audience context. You can start with your name and discuss how you met the couple or your relationship with them. 

You can Tell a Story as long as it is Relevant. 

If you already took note of the stories you want to share during the wedding, now is the best time to pick one. Its better to choose a narrative that:

• Has a point you can relate to at the end of the story
• Reflects the qualities you love about the bride or groom
• Is relevant, appropriate, and relatable
• Doesn’t put the couple in a bad light
• It doesn’t focus entirely on you

Share Their Love Story From Your Point of View

Every person who gives a speech will have different perspectives on the couple’s love story. Except you are joined to them by the hip, you won’t have the whole picture without a proper perspective. 

You can talk about the first day you met your spouse and when you realized they would marry each other.

Which Qualities Do You Love in Their Partner?

Depending on your wedding role, your speech may need to focus more on the bride or groom. However, the wedding day is about both of them, so you can share the qualities you love about them and say why you think they are perfect for each other.

Share Your Hopes For them and Well Wishes.

If you have any helpful advice or quotes, this is the perfect time to share them. If you are already married, advice would be more welcome, but unmarried people should best stick with wishing them a happy, fruitful future. 

This section should end on an optimistic, positive note in preparation for the coming toast.

Finish Off with a Toast to the Couple

Ending your speech could be as daunting as how you started, so the best way to end the address is with a toast. Request the audience to raise their glasses to the lovely couple.

Wedding Speeches Do’s and Don’ts

What do you avoid? What can you include? Let’s find out here.

Wedding Speech Tips For Everyone

Everyone needs tips for wedding speeches and all types of orations. So, in my next point, I have organized speech tips for everyone who could give a wedding toast.

Tips For the Maid of Honor and Best Man 

• A few sips of alcohol for liquid courage is okay, but avoid being drunk so that you can vocalize adequately.
• Talk about the couple as a unit and as individuals. It isn’t your wedding day; we will talk more about you then.
• It’s okay to be funny, but avoid humiliating the couple.
• Other people are presenting, so keep your speech simple and sweet.
• Practice your speech . Avoid winging it.
• Write your speech down so that you won’t have regrets about things you should have said later.

Tips For the Groom’s Father and the Bride’s Father

• Try to be as concise as possible.
• Don’t forget to thank people, even if the couple will thank their guests. One cannot overexpress gratitude.
• Make the jokes minimal. You don’t need to turn your speech into a standup comedy.
• Being too sentimental as a parent is impossible, so embrace your emotional side.
• Welcome the bride or groom to your family.

Tips For the Bride and Groom

• Express gratitude for all the sacrifices people made to make your day, as they don’t owe you.
• Focus on your spouse. It’s their day, too.
• You can share snippets from the best parts of your relationship. We all love a good love story.
• Raise a glass and toast to your dreams and hopes for your future together.

7 Final Tips for All Wedding Speech Presenters

As promised in the introduction, here are some comprehensive tips for everyone who will give wedding speeches.

Practice and Practice Some More 

Preparedness helps improve your confidence . Being nervous is completely normal, but being prepared can help with your fidgeting.

Record Yourself While Practicing or Use a Virtual Assistant like Orai 

Record yourself presenting and practice your speech . You can use orai to practice: 

Take note of your body language , mannerisms, and filler words , and try to avoid them .

Avoid Booze as Much as Possible 

It is always best to drink only a glass before your speech , especially if you get drunk quickly. If you do not need to drink, avoid alcohol until after your toast so that you don’t end up saying inappropriate things or forgetting your lines.

Don’t Try too Hard: Just Be Yourself 

It is always best to be yourself during your speech . If you are sentimental, let it flow. If you are funny, feel free to be funny. 

The main thing is being as authentic as possible. The couple will feel your authenticity a lot more.

Make Your Speech as Brief as Possible 

No one has ever complained that anyone gave a speech that was too short. It’s always best to keep your toast within three to five minutes. Going on for too long will make you lose your audience.

Avoid Embarrassing Stories Like the Plague 

You aren’t there to slander or roast the couple, so it would be best to avoid inappropriate stories. There is the chance that their work colleagues would be part of the audience, so keep the jokes about wilding out minimal. 

You can share some childhood memories, but it is best to avoid stories that do not speak well of you and either of the newlyweds.

Hold Unto Your Notes

I am entirely against reading your speech like it is the news, but some notes and pointers are helpful. You could get too excited, exhausted, or nervous and forget your speech .

Your audience may be too drunk to notice you looking at your notes, and they may not even see. If you practice your speech correctly, you will only need pointers to remind you of what to say next, and you can maintain eye contact with the audience.

How long should a typical wedding speech be?

A typical wedding speech should generally be concise and to the point, aiming for around 5 minutes. While you may be tempted to speak at length about the couple, it’s advisable to keep the speech brief to ensure a smooth event flow and avoid causing the audience to become fatigued or disinterested. A speech that is around 5 minutes long is usually more than enough to convey your heartfelt thoughts and well wishes to the couple without overstaying your welcome.

What should one avoid when giving a wedding speech?

When delivering a wedding speech , avoiding sharing embarrassing or negative stories about the couple is important. These anecdotes may cause discomfort or awkwardness for everyone present. Instead of focusing on teasing or humiliating the newlyweds, aim to highlight their positive qualities and express congratulations on their marriage. Keep the speech uplifting and celebratory, steering clear of anything that could cast a shadow on the joyous occasion.

What are some key tips for writing and giving a wedding speech?

Some key tips for writing and giving a memorable wedding speech include:- Avoid sharing embarrassing or negative anecdotes to maintain a positive vibe.- Practice your speech beforehand, ideally recording it to review and improve.- Keep the speech at an appropriate length to maintain the audience’s interest.- It’s okay to refer to a few notes to stay on track and ensure you cover all essential points.- Refrain from consuming alcohol before delivering your speech to maintain clarity and composure. Is it acceptable to use notes during a wedding speech ?

Ditch the robotic delivery – a few notes are your safety net, not a script. Though the audience won’t mind glances, practice makes perfect for maintaining eye contact. Embrace these pointers and deliver a speech cherished forever.

Final Thoughts and Conclusion

Wedding speeches taking a non-traditional route is the new normal. Some people even opt for an open mic where anyone can give a toast. 

We advise that you keep the wedding speech order and number of presenters to a maximum of five to avoid making your guests squirmish. Also, it’s best to evade an open mic situation for wedding speeches.

Practice always helps you nail your speech , so you can use the Orai app or watch some of our videos to help you properly present all types of toasts.

Lastly, remember that it is a wedding toast and not a roast.

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12 Groom Speech Tips: How to Make a Killer Groom's Speech

Are you nervous about giving your groom's speech? Our experts have 12 top tips to giving the ultimate speech and help calm your nerves

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Have you been worrying about giving your groom’s speech ever since you popped the question? You’re not alone! This is arguably one of the most daunting parts of your entire wedding planning journey. 

You’ll need to consider how long your speech should be, your groom speech structure, and who you should be thanking. If you’re following the traditional order of speeches, your speech will come after the father of the bride (or groom) speech , and he could have set the bar pretty high.

But, don’t fret! We spoke to wedding speech writing experts to help calm your nerves. Speechwriter Chris Dance , Adrian Simpson from All Speeches Great and Small  and Heidi Ellert-McDermott from Speechy gave their best advice on what it takes to deliver a great groom speech.

• Groom's Wedding Speech Tips
• Groom Speech Preparation
• Who Does the Groom Toast and Thank?
• How to Write a Groom's Speech?

What Does the Groom Say in His Speech?

• How Long Should the Groom's Speech be?

12 Groom's Wedding Speech Tips

So here are our top tips on giving a wedding speech, but we've also put together a handy video for wedding speech-givers in a hurry! This video explains our best wedding speech tips for grooms, in under a minute. 

1. Acknowledge This Special Moment

“A great groom speech should be a really good dollop of entertainment and fun, whilst at the same time acknowledging what a very special moment this is. It’s your chance to stand up and acknowledge the people who have brought you to this point and, of course, to talk about the person you’ve been lucky enough to marry,” explained Adrian.

2. Think Carefully About How to Begin

Heidi advises that the best way to begin your groom speech is “quickly”.

She says: “Grooms often make the mistake of thinking they should sound formal and get overly stressed about following traditional etiquette. The aim is to get people laughing as soon as possible, certainly within the first three lines of your speech as it puts everyone listening at ease.”

As well as keeping it light and funny, Adrian points out that it’s important to address your partner's father and thank him for his speech: “Make it a warm and inclusive introduction, however, don’t be tempted to detail his financial contribution. A reference to his generosity should be sincere but very general.”

3. Know Your Audience

Knowing your audience applies to all speech writing and Chris emphasises this by explaining that you should: "Keep in mind who you're talking to and make the speech accessible to everyone in the room. Don't use in-jokes that only you and your workmates will get, don't risk anything offensive or controversial, and steer clear of politics."

4. Add in a Few (Appropriate) Jokes

“There’s a lot of emotion on the big day and making people laugh with some wedding jokes or amusing stories is the best way to balance that out,” explains Adrian.

Keep your stories short, funny, and appropriate! You don’t want to be embarrassing your new wife or husband on your first day as a married couple.

“Are you already concerned that your bride’s ‘pinot posse’ have started chatting up the bar staff? Or are you finding it hard to recognise your middle-aged cycling buddies in clothes that they usually wouldn’t be seen dead in? Make your humour personal and seemingly spontaneous – your guests will really appreciate it,” adds Heidi.

Adrian advises grooms to steer away from a speech that’s more of a ‘dry procession of thanks’ as you’ll struggle to keep your guests’ attention – so even if you’re not a naturally charismatic person, make sure your personality shines through above the mere thank-yous.

Take a look at these groom speech jokes for inspiration! 

5. Remember to Thank Everyone

Traditionally, the groom will need to thank the following:

• Everyone for coming
• His parents
• His partner’s parents
• His best man and ushers (if there are any)
• The maid of honour and bridesmaids (if there are any)

Heidi advises that although there are probably plenty of other people who you would love to thank for their contributions and help towards your special day, try to avoid thanking half of the guest list.

A simple way to thank everyone would be to say:

"This is the best day of my life and it's because of all of you, and especially you (referring to your partner). I cannot thank you all enough for being here."

When it comes to thanking parents, there’s one thing Adrian warns grooms to be careful of. “Don’t fall into the trap of waxing lyrical about your new parents-in-law for several paragraphs, dismissing your own parents in a sentence. They should both be given equal measure.”

An example to combine them both would be to say:

"Thank you for my parents for bring me up to be the person I am today and thank you to my in-laws for welcoming me into your family."

6. Focus on Your New Partner

Heidi suggests that your new partner should be the main focus of your speech. She says, “This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to drop a public love-bomb on your partner and considering they’ve just agreed to tolerate all of your habits and box sets for the rest of their life, it’s the least you can do!

“Remember, every groom thinks his partner is gorgeous, kind and generally amazing so avoid cliché terms and words and concentrate on what makes them unique. Nailing their individual and quirky characteristics shows that you really get your new husband or wife and your friends and family will love you for that.”

Chris recommends that you do this by giving examples: "Don't just say that your partner is kind and thoughtful; illustrate it with the story about the time that they dressed up as Boba Fett and threw you a surprise Star Wars party, or about how they still hold your hand at the dentists because you hate the sound of the drill."

7. Forget Giving Out Gifts

Heidi advises that if you’re planning on giving thank you gifts to bridesmaids , parents or anyone else, either do it earlier on in the day or announce that you’ll be personally thanking them later as to not disrupt the speech.

She says: “Gift-giving is basically an excuse for guests to start checking their WhatsApp!”

8. Don't Be Too Ambitious

The time you take to the mic to make your groom's speech will no doubt be a big moment, but Chris shares that it is important to be realistic about what your comfort zone is and stay in it.

"It's a speech to your friends, not an audition for Britain's Got Talent. If you're terrified of public speaking, keep it simple. Don't give yourself unnecessary stress by filling your speech with tongue-twisters or trying to be Billy Connolly." 

9. Think Carefully About the Structure

Adrian says, “There are lots of people to talk about and you should deal with them one at a time and avoid repetition.

“Resist the urge to launch straight into how amazing your new partner looks and then pepper the speech with references to them. They are the star of the show so save the latter half of the speech to be dedicated to them and what they mean to you.”

10. Eight Minutes is the Perfect Length of Time

Adrian says that the length of a groom’s speech can really make or break it: “Too short and people are going to be wondering why you bothered. Too long and nobody will be listening. Keep it to a ‘stand up-sit down’ time of 10 minutes – that’s a talking time of around eight minutes and the rest will be made up from laughter, applause and heckles.”

Heidi also stressed the importance of not boring people with a lengthy speech, but also not coming across like you’re enjoying the attention a little too much.

11. Avoid Too Much Detail

Adrian explained that it’s too much detail that really slows a speech down: “A great speech demands the very least from the guests in order for them to enjoy it, so now is not the time to recount exactly how you know each of the ushers individually. A good guide is to aim for a total of 1,350 words – if you’re edging well over that, then it’s time to strip out some of the content.”

12. Think About Your Ending

According to Adrian: “Tradition says that you should end on a toast to the bridesmaids and a little aside to the best man. I’ve never found this works – in my opinion, the focus of the speech should be exclusively on your partner, that’s why I suggest toasting to the bridesmaids earlier in the speech and making the final words all about your partner.

“You should have talked about the best man earlier in the speech but there’s no harm in having a quick one-liner referencing him at the end but make sure it’s after the final toast.”

Groom Speech Preparation To Calm Your Nerves

Never Ending Stories

Heidi has a lot of advice when it comes to calming nerves around your wedding speech, starting with just how important the planning and preparation is.

“The key to being confident on the day is writing a wedding speech that’s so good you can’t wait to deliver it. If you know you’re going to make your friends laugh, your mum cry and your bride/groom love you even more then you’ll ooze confidence whilst delivering your speech.”

1. Film Yourself – Use your phone to film yourself practising your speech. Watch it back and channel your inner Simon Cowell – work out how your delivery could be improved and what you would change.

2. Dutch Courage Isn’t Always the Answer – Although lots of grooms swear by a bit of Dutch courage, this is based on wishful thinking rather than solid science!

3. Smile and Breathe – It may sound obvious but taking a deep breath is surprisingly effective at reducing those stress nerves and smiling is scientifically proven to be infectious, making them a fool-proof combination.

Does the Groom Give a Speech?

Traditionally, the groom will give a speech at the wedding reception, following the ceremony. You can do whatever works for you, but the traditional order for speeches is for the father of the bride to speak, then the groom, best man and any other toasts.

How to Write a Groom's Speech

If you are writing your groom's speech yourself the key points to remember are to compliment your new spouse and thank any key guests. Any other additions are nice extras! 

Writing not your strength? Hiring a professional speechwriter is a brilliant option. "It’s not cheating - if it is then so is ordering a wedding cake when you’ve got perfectly good eggs and flour at home," shares Chris.

"Speech writing is a specialist skill: giving the task to someone who can mould your words and articulate your thoughts is as valid a use of your budget as any other wedding service you’re paying for – arguably more valid, given that it’s probably the bit of the day you’re most worried about."

"The groom should focus on thankyous," explains Chris. "He should thank everyone for coming to the wedding - especially Jim and Tania who’ve kayaked all the way from Gdansk; anyone who contributed to it significantly, his partner’s parents for spawning such a catch; his own parents for loving and/or tolerating him.

"When he’s done that he can get on with lavishing praise on the person he’s married and saying how deliriously happy he is. That’s what the guests really want to hear from him, so he needs to do that bit well and sincerely."

How Long Should a Groom's Speech be?

Ideally, you want your groom's speech to be no more than ten minutes. Make sure to rehearse it a few times before the big day and time yourself - you don't want your guests to start getting bored!

"Just remember, if there are two or three other speakers then you’re asking your guests to sit still and listen patiently for half an hour, which is a long time when you’re stuffed full of wine, sea bass and tiramisu and you want to stretch your legs.

"However long your speech lasts (I find seven to ten minutes is usually enough), try to keep it punchy, lively and relevant: there is such a thing as a five minute speech that’s so dull it feels like a lifetime, yet fifteen minutes can race by if your speech is bright, engaging and funny," says Chris.

Still feeling nervous? Fear not – here’s our guide on how to deliver an amazing wedding speech !

Related Hitched articles

• Bridal Shower
• Bachelor & Bachelorette Parties
• Engagement Party
• Rehearsal Dinner
• Wedding Checklists
• Wedding Hairstyle Ideas
• Wedding Vows Readings
• Wedding Music

In This Article

• Speech Examples
• Speech Template
• Speech Tips
• What to Avoid
• Speech Jokes
• Toast Ideas
• Wedding Party & Reception

Crafting the Perfect Groom Speech: Tips, Examples, and Inspiration

phuket_wedding_planner via Instagram

Everyone eagerly awaits the groom’s speech at the wedding, making it crucial. While celebrating love is easy, preparing a speech often isn’t, with grooms often procrastinating out of panic. Whether shy or pressed for time, we’ve got you covered. See our Post for the best groom wedding speeches tips and ideas ever.

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Groom Speech Examples

In the groom’s speech at a wedding, he blends humor and sincerity, thanking everyone, including those absent. Special mentions go to his new father-in-law, bridesmaids, maid of honor, bride’s mother, and his groomsmen, especially the best man. He concludes with a heartfelt toast to his beloved, expressing deep love, gratitude, and commitment.

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials and short enough to hold your attention. Apparently, it’s my job to do all the thank you’s, so on behalf of my lovely new wife and I, the biggest thank-you goes to all of you for coming. The day would not have been the same without you and neither would my bank balance! But on a serious note, it is lovely to see so many of you here. Particularly those of you who have had to travel many miles. Amy and I would like to thank our parents for all the love and support both emotional and financial they have given us. And a special thank-you to Vanessa who is responsible for making our fantastic wedding cake. Sharon, Sue, Vanessa, Ray, Steve We’d also like to thank Darren for his services as the best man today and of course our ushers. You’ve all done a grand job. Darren, Mark, Jon, Jim, Adam That brings me onto our bridesmaids. Thank you all for your help and for being there for Amy through the ups and downs of wedding planning! I’m sure everyone will agree that you all look stunning today. Nina, Laura, Charlotte, Kirsty, Fiona, Lillie, Jordan, and Emily. Finally, I would personally like to thank my lovely wife, Amy, for having me as her husband! I read somewhere that “You don’t marry the person you can live with, you marry the person you cannot live without”. Well, we’ve lived together for five years and I know I’ve married the right person. I’m so glad I can at last call you my wife. Now all that remains is for me to say please enjoy the rest of the day…… and mine’s a foster!

………..Good evening ladies, gentlemen, family, and friends. First of all, I must say a big “thank you” to Colin for his kind words. His speech was so good, he’s going to do mine for me too. As many of you will know, I am of the shy retiring type that likes to keep quiet and keep my opinions to myself, therefore you can understand my nervousness at standing up here in front of all of you making a speech. And as many of you will also know, I’m also a compulsive liar, but I am still nervous, that bit is true. I have been fearful of this bit for weeks, and as you can imagine, this isn’t the first time today I have arisen from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand. I read while researching wedding speeches that a good speech has a good beginning and a good ending. But the best speech of all is one that keeps these close together. So I will try and keep this as short as possible and will try my best not to do a “Gwinny” with my list of thanks. Firstly I would like to thank any Rangers fans for still being here and not walking out at 4.30 as usual. Pause for cheers But then again, I don’t think we’re friends with any of them anyway. I would like to thank my parents, Ian and Margaret for all the help they have given me over the years, if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be here now. So, Helen, if it doesn’t work out you know who to blame. I would also like to thank Helen’s parents, Colin and Sandra, for making me feel like the son they never wanted, sorry the son they never had, right from day 2. Day 1 was a bit rough, but hey, they’re over it now……….

………….On a serious note, I’d firstly like to say a big thank you to my new Dad Dave. I’m proud to be his son-in-law and hope I can live up to his expectations, which should be easy, compared to his other son Mick! But let us not take this Father, Son thing too seriously, as I’m not into 10-mile runs before breakfast like you were in the Paras. Both Sharon and I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone for coming here today and sharing this special occasion with us. Especially those who brought expensive presents. Its much appreciated! Thank you to Edwin and Elsa, Margaret and Linda and many others who have traveled a long way to be here. It’s certainly a long way from Brighouse! We hope you all enjoy the day, have fun, relax and be merry…………….

Groom Rehearsal Dinner Speech

Congratulations on your upcoming groom speech at the wedding rehearsal dinner! Here are three tips to help you craft a memorable and meaningful speech:

• Keep it concise: Aim for a short and sweet groom speech. Keep it under five minutes to engage your guests without losing their attention.
• Personalize it: Share personal stories and anecdotes about how you met, what you love about your fiancé, and what makes your relationship special. Don’t be afraid to show your emotions.
• Thank your guests: Express your gratitude to those who supported you during the wedding planning. Thank your guests for being a part of your special day.

Here’s an example of a groom rehearsal dinner speech that incorporates these three tips:

Good evening everyone, and thank you for joining us on this special night. I want to start by thanking our parents, who have been there for us every step of the way. Your love and support mean the world to us. I also want to thank our friends and family who have traveled from near and far to be here with us. We feel incredibly blessed to have you in our lives. As we sit here tonight, I can’t help but reflect on how lucky I am to have found my soulmate in [bride’s name]. I knew from the moment I met her that she was the one for me. Her kindness, intelligence, and beauty continue to amaze me every day. [Optional: insert a personal anecdote here] [Optional: insert a joke or humorous story here] As we prepare to start this new chapter of our lives together, I am filled with gratitude and joy. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us.

The Great Groom Speech Template

Here’s a groom speech at wedding template that will help you create a winning speech with ease.

• Thank the guests Say a heartfelt thanks to the guests for leaving their busy schedules to honor you on your big day. Many of them sacrificed time, money, work, and even their safety to come all the way because they love you. Say thank you, mean it, and crack a joke. This is also the time to distribute little gifts or wedding favors to the guests.
• Say some words about the bride Gush about the woman of the moment. Let the guests feel your joy at getting married to the love of your life. Talk about what attracted you to her, what she means to you, and reiterate your vows. You may also seal this part of your speech with a kiss and watch her blush.
• Share a memorable story Getting to your wedding day was a long journey and there are stories that bind you. Let the guests know the beautiful way you met, and share sweet memories, funny ones, and romantic events. If both of you have a favorite song, pick a line from it and incorporate it into your speech. Avoid near break-up situations, forgiveness for some errors, or unpleasant situations that happened in your relationship.
• Share your impressions about the day Recount something beautiful about your wedding day. Maybe talk about how the sun shined bright because it knows an angel got married today. Talk about the beautiful reception, cake, or decor. Just incorporate something from the present.
• Say some words about the best man Your best man is arguably one of your strongest support systems throughout wedding planning. Give him some accolades in your speech. Talk about how you met and him being your main man through life. Appreciate him sincerely and even take a friendly jab at him.
• Thank your parents There is no better time to tell everyone how awesome your parents are. Talk about the bride’s parents too because you’re family now. Thank both families for being in your corner and promise to always behave. That will get in a few laughs.
• Close with a toast Finish your speech with a toast to your wife, parents, guests, love, and happiness.

Groom Speech Tips

Many grooms often find themselves confused when trying to write their groom speech at the wedding. In the days leading up to the big event, they might go into a fit of panic because they have no idea what to write. When crafting a groom speech, it’s important to focus on the introduction, body, and conclusion. You want to captivate the guests right from the beginning of your groom speech, keep them engaged throughout, and conclude with a memorable and impactful finish.

The speech tips below are simple, concise and will give answers to all your questions.

• Prepare your mind and calm your nerves for the speech.
• Run speech by your best man to sieve out off liners.
• Make eye contact with everyone.
• Address the audience as a couple. Include your wife.
• Do away with vulgar words or jokes.
• Include the decent but minimal amount of humor.
• Don’t forget to thank your parents and in-laws
• Always throw some compliments the way of your wife and make the core of your speech.
• Dedicate some part of your speech to your wife. She is the main focus.
• Make the last toast go to your wife.
• Make your speech heartfelt and let your personality shine through.

What Not to Say in the Groom Speech

kreativwedding via Instagram

A perfect speech will give you unending applause from everyone. But a bad speech? The disasters are too much to mention. You will have in-laws getting pissed at you, the bridesmaids coming for your head. Your best man gunning to have you quartered and your wife preparing to give you hell.

To avoid the later and all other unforeseen ills that could happen with a badly given speech, here are some don’ts to the rescue.

Don’ts

• Don’t build your speech around anyone else but your wife.
• Don’t include vulgar words or insensitive jokes.
• Don’t take too much time making your speech. 5-10 minutes is enough.
• Don’t forget to introduce your best man and compliments the bridesmaids.
• Don’t forget to make your last toast to the bride.

Groom Wedding Speech Jokes

Adding a touch of humor to your groom speech can lighten the mood and make your speech memorable. Well-placed jokes can bring smiles and laughter, creating a warm and joyful atmosphere. Here are five examples of jokes that are perfect for a groom speech at a wedding:

When I proposed, I got down on one knee and almost didn’t get back up. She said yes, probably out of pity for my lack of athleticism!

They say marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one!

On our first date, I was so nervous that I spilled coffee all over myself. I guess I wanted to make a hot impression!

I’d like to thank my new in-laws for raising such an amazing woman. And for not mentioning my tendency to leave the toilet seat up… yet!

Planning this wedding was a lot like cooking for the first time – a bit messy, a lot of trial and error, and in the end, totally worth it!

Groom Wedding Toast Ideas

To the father of the bride

“Let us toast to my father in law for raising and giving me this beautiful woman. For being a wonderful father to her, although I’m taking over. For accepting me as a son……. “

To the best man

“To my right-hand man for being there all the way. For taking time off work to make all things ready for my big day. For all the sacrifices you made from way back until now. For being my best friend in the real sense and too many more years as friends…..a toast to my best man (insert name)”

Toast To the guests

“A toast to you wonderful people. You are all amazing. Thanks for being here today and sharing in our joy. To many more years of celebration and happiness………. “

To the bride

“Whoever thought this angelic beauty seated here will be mine? Let’s all make a toast to my heartthrob, whose smile lightens my world. A toast to you baby, for all you are, for all you’ll be. To us, to life, to our love, to your happiness, too many blissful years with me, to our future, to forever…………”

Frequently Asked Questions

What should the groom say in his speech.

The groom’s speech typically includes gratitude, compliments to the bride, thanks to guests, and a toast.

What should the groom say at the rehearsal dinner?

The groom at the rehearsal dinner can express appreciation to those involved, share anecdotes, and convey excitement for the upcoming wedding.

How Long Should A Groom’s Speech Be?

A groom’s speech typically lasts around 5 to 10 minutes. It should be long enough to express gratitude, share anecdotes, and convey heartfelt sentiments, but short enough to maintain guests’ interest and keep the overall flow of the wedding reception.

Thank you all again for being here tonight. Let’s raise a glass to love, laughter, and happily ever after! The groom’s speech is one of the most anticipated speeches at a wedding. It doesn’t need such long preparation but could flop if you don’t get the hang of it. Give the best groom speech at wedding ever with the tips, ideas, and templates we’ve curated in this post. Speak from the heart, let your love shine, add some humor and you’re home free.

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How to Write a Wedding Speech to Your Husband

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Writing a wedding speech can be nerve-wracking, especially when it’s one of the most important days of your life. However, it’s also a unique opportunity to express your love and appreciation for your groom in front of your friends and family. Your speech should be a reflection of your relationship, and should showcase the love, joy, and gratitude you feel on this special day.

If you have enough time to do so, rather than trying to write a wedding speech in one sitting, make notes over a few weeks, each time you recognise the little things they do that you appreciate, or whenever you remember. If you’re using our wedding planner book , or couples journal , refer back through some of the notes you’ve made too.

Tips on Writing your Wedding Speech to your Groom / Future Husband

To help you write a heartfelt and meaningful wedding speech, here are some tips and advice to keep in mind:

• Start with a heartfelt introduction

Your introduction should set the tone for your speech and should immediately capture the attention of your audience (perhaps a personal anecdote, a quote about love or marriage, or a compelling statement that grabs your guests’ attention – and perhaps even makes them laugh). You could then go on to thank your guests for coming, and then express your excitement and happiness at marrying your Groom. You could also start with a quote or anecdote that highlights your love for your groom and sets the tone for the rest of your speech.

• Share personal stories and memories

The best speeches are those that are personal and heartfelt. Share some personal stories and memories that highlight your love for your groom. For example, you could talk about the moment you knew he was the one, or the first time you met him. You could also talk about some of the things that you love about him, such as his sense of humor or his kindness. When telling stories, include descriptive details, use dialogue to bring the story to life, and create a narrative arc that builds up to a meaningful conclusion (if possible).

When using humour, practise reading it to a couple of friends or family to check you’ve found the right balance – and that the audience will understand the references made. You can use funny anecdotes – just add context if necessary so that the ‘inside jokes’ can be appreciated and enjoyed by your guests.

• Express your gratitude

Express your gratitude to your groom for everything he has done for you, and for being the person he is. You could talk about how he has supported you, made you laugh, or helped you through tough times. Be specific about the ways their partner has positively impacted their life, mention specific qualities or actions they admire, and share anecdotes that demonstrate their gratitude. Don’t be afraid to get emotional – this is a special moment, and it’s okay to show your feelings.

• Offer words of encouragement and support

Your speech should be a celebration of your love and commitment to each other. Offer words of encouragement and support for the future, and talk about the adventures you hope to share together. You could also talk about the challenges you have overcome as a couple, and how you will face any future challenges together. Talk about your shared goals, aspirations, and how you plan to support each other through thick and thin.

• End with a toast

If it is possible, see if you can bring to a conclusion some of the points, or anecdotes made earlier. Finally, end your speech with a toast to your groom, your families, and your future together. Raise your glass and express your love and excitement for the future.

In addition to these tips, here are some more specific things to keep in mind when writing your speech:

• Keep it concise. Your speech should be no longer than five minutes, so make every word count.
• Practice, practice, practice. Rehearse your speech several times before the wedding day, so you feel comfortable and confident.
• Consider your audience. Your speech should be appropriate for all ages and backgrounds, so avoid inside jokes or anything too personal.
• Don’t be afraid to be funny. Humor is a great way to break the ice and keep your audience engaged, but make sure it’s appropriate and not at the expense of anyone.
• Use props or visual aids if necessary. If you have a funny or sentimental photo or item that relates to your speech, consider using it to add an extra touch of personalisation.
• Speak from the heart. Your speech should be a reflection of your love and appreciation for your groom, so don’t be afraid to show your emotions.

Making your Wedding Speech Funny

If humour comes naturally to you, your speech is likely to be funny too, and your guests are the ones who know and love you best (so they’ll definitely laugh along with you). If you struggle to tell personal anecdotes, consider including some funny quotes or sweet sayings:

• “The secret to a good marriage is to be a little deaf.”  —  Ruth Bader Ginsburg 
• “If at first you don’t succeed…try doing it the way your wife told you.”  —  Unknown
• “The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret.”  —  Henny Youngman
• “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times—always with the same person.”  —  Mignon McLaughlin (this one’s in our ‘ I still do ‘ anniversary journal)
• “To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.”  —  Ogden Nash

Wedding Speech Example [To My Husband]

Dear Husband (a word I can’t wait to get used to and I know I’m going to overuse for the next few weeks)

As your partner, your confidant, and your best friend, I want to take this opportunity to thank you, and in front of all the people most important to us, express my love and gratitude for you and all that you do for me. You are truly one of a kind, and I can’t imagine my life without you.

When I think about what I love most about you, it’s your kind heart, your unwavering support, and your infectious sense of humor. You make me feel loved and cherished every day… [An opportunity to be specific]

As we stand here today, surrounded by our loved ones, I am filled with joy and gratitude that we have found each other out of the billions of people in the world. I truly believe, you are my person. You have been my rock through the good times and the bad, and I know that with you by my side, we can conquer anything that comes our way [specific examples].

As I look forward to our future together, I am excited for all the adventures that lie ahead. I know that with you, life will be full of love, laughter, and endless possibilities. I hope that we [example]

So, my dear husband, I want to thank you for being my soulmate, my partner, and my best friend. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in all that you do, and to cherish every moment that we have together.

Cheers to us, my love, and to a lifetime of happiness and love. To our forever.

Finally…

Make it personal, make it real. Your speech should be a reflection of your relationship, and should showcase the love, joy, and gratitude you feel on this special day.

When considering your wedding speeches and looking to the future, don’t forget the best relationships, and the marriages that last the distance are the ones who put the work in. Make your marriage a priority, be each other’s cheerleader, grow together, communicate. Discover our  couple’s journals  including  I still do wedding anniversary journal , to encourage you to do so.

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How to Write a Killer Maid of Honor Speech: The Ultimate Guide

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, meaning we earn commissions if you shop through the links below. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Please read my  disclaimer  for more info.

To us here at Modern MOH, the writing and delivery of the maid of honor speech is the most sacred duty of them all. We feel this is your true time to shine and the greatest opportunity to show your bestie just how much her happiness means to you. By taking the time to construct a heartfelt and well-written speech, then delivering it to the best of your ability, you will help make your bride’s wedding day all the more perfect.

And while we doubt we were your first stop on the “ how to write a maid of honor speech ” search train, we do hope to be your final destination. You see, unlike most articles you’ll find on the subject of maid of honor speeches, we’re actually going to give it to you straight. No vaguely basic outlines or generically boring examples, just the cold hard facts.

Because we have some serious experience in the toast department, and if there’s one thing we’ve learned about writing a killer maid of honor speech, it’s this: there is no secret formula, no one best way . How could there be? Each and every relationship between a maid of honor and a bride is different from the next, just as each and every memory is uniquely yours. 

Lastly, we know the thought of having to give a wedding toast in front of a large group of people may be terrifying for most, that’s why we’re here to teach you a thing or two to ease those nerves. From start to finish, we have all the tips and tricks you need to know to bring the house down.

How to Write a Maid of Honor Speech in 5 Simple Steps

1. define your overall objective.

Before you begin writing your maid of honor speech, you must first define your objective. In other words, you need to have a goal you’re looking to accomplish. For example, are you hoping to make wedding guests laugh? Cry? Both? Do you want to talk about your history with the bride, about how you met the groom, or what their relationship as a couple means to you?

Knowing the answers to these questions will help you figure out the direction you should take when writing your wedding toast.

If you find yourself struggling to define your objective, simply think of your relationship with both the bride and groom. Do they have a great sense of humor? Is your time together spent mostly joking around and laughing? If so, try taking a comedic approach to your toast by cracking a few funny jokes along the way.

Or maybe you and your bride have been through some very serious times together that you want to share, in which case your speech may be much more emotionally moving. The great part about this objective is that it’s your own, so there is no one right or best way to go about it.

MODERN MOH TIP:  Touch on a little bit of everything. Start strong with a joke or two and finish out with a sentimental toast.  While there is no exact formula to it, a truly good maid of honor speech is both funny enough to get wedding guests laughing and moving enough to bring a tear to their eye. Secondly, don’t spend so much time talking about your history with the bride that you forget to talk about the groom. Even if you don’t have your own personal memories with your best friend’s new hubby, that doesn’t mean he should be left out of your speech. Instead, talk about their relationship as a couple and what it means to you, including your wishes for the bride and groom’s future together. 

2. Decide on Your Point of View

The key to writing a killer of maid of honor speech is to not think of it as a speech, but instead a story. And as the narrator of this particular story, it’s up to you to determine the point of view from which you tell it. While it may seem obvious that you’d write from the first-person POV, there are definitely some benefits to switching it up.

To begin with, writing from a third-person POV will give your toast a unique twist and a more story-like feel. For example, instead of saying “Taylor and I met on the school bus in the third grade and she’s been my best friend ever since” , you could say “When Taylor was in the third grade, she met a little girl on the school bus who remains her best friend to this day” .

Like the idea, but don’t think you can write an entire speech that way? No problem. Unlike what you were taught in grade school, you have the freedom to switch between differing points of view when telling your story. If you haven’t caught on yet, let us reiterate: there is no right or wrong when it comes to writing your speech.

MODERN MOH TIP: Take advantage of switching up points of view. Start with narrating from the first person point of view, especially if it’s easier for you to tell the history between you and the bride that way. When it comes time to talk about the couple, tell their story from an outsider’s perspective. If you do decide to go this route, don’t get so crazy with it that you start confusing your audience. The whole point of using different points of view is to enhance your maid of honor speech, not complicate it.

3. Determine Your Must-Haves

Now that you’ve defined your objective and decided on your POV, it’s time to determine your must-haves. By must-haves, we mean the anecdotes you absolutely want to include in your maid of honor speech. For instance, is there a particularly good memory you have with the bride that you definitely want to share with wedding guests? Or maybe you were there when the bride and groom met and you want to tell your side of the couple’s story?

Determining your must-haves before you begin writing your toast will guarantee you don’t forget to feature them. Not to mention, it will keep you from going off track when it comes time to put pen to paper. If you’re having trouble narrowing it down, keep this in mind: it’s much better to have one or two epic stories than a mix of mediocre ones.

MODERN MOH TIP: Don’t be that maid of honor that goes on and on about memories and “funny” inside jokes you have with the bride (no wedding guest wants to hear it, trust us). Instead, tell one or two really good stories that portray your friendship and then move on to her relationship with the groom and their history as a couple. Too many MOHs make the mistake of making their toast all about them and not enough about the couple whose wedding they are supposed to be celebrating. If you want to talk about yourself in front of a big audience, try Youtube.

4. Develop Your Story From Beginning to End

As we mentioned before, the key to writing a killer maid of honor speech is to tell it like a story. And just like any good story, you must develop it from beginning to middle to end (think along the lines of “ once upon a time ” to “ they lived happily ever after ”). While it’s entirely up to you to decide what constitutes the beginning, middle, and end of your particular story, you should avoid big jumps in time. In other words, do your best to develop it in chronological order so you don’t confuse wedding guests.

For instance: Start by telling the story of how you and the bride met, continue on with a memory you have of the bride and groom, and finish with a toast for the couple. Again, there is no magic formula when it comes to writing a maid of honor speech, but having a clear and concise storyline is highly suggested.

MODERN MOH TIP: Don’t be predictable. Chances are you and your best friend didn’t cross paths in some epic way (especially if you’re sisters), so skip the generic “this is how we met” story. Instead, dive right into a funny/crazy/holy s*$&! moment to get the crowd’s attention. And don’t be boring with your finale either. No generic “cheers to the Mr. & Mrs.” toast, we know you can do better than that. Your goal should be to receive a standing ovation from the couple and their wedding guests, not a polite golf clap.

5. Describe Your Characters in Detail

We can’t stress how important this final step is when it comes to writing your maid of honor speech. Seriously, taking the extra step to describe your characters in detail is what differentiates the bland from the bomb. And just so we’re clear, by characters we mean the bride and groom, and by detail we mean elaboration. For example, instead of saying “Taylor is such a great friend, she’s always been there for me whenever I needed her” , you should say “I’ve never met a more loving and loyal person than Taylor, she truly exemplifies what it means to be a best friend” .

These extra tweaks may seem insignificant to you, but they’re exactly the lines that will resonate with your audience and more importantly, the couple. And if writing isn’t your strong suit, don’t worry. Simply speak from the heart, you’ll be surprised at how well your final product turns out.

MODERN MOH TIP: Use a thesaurus (seriously, we do it all the time). It’s a good way to spice up your word choice and will stop you from repeating yourself. On the flip side, don’t feel like you have to use a ton of fancy words- you want to sound like yourself after all, not Shakespeare. Lastly, don’t be afraid to throw a bit of alliteration in there. It brings character to your writing and will make your toast much more memorable ( see what we did there? )

How to End a Maid of Honor Speech

Now that you’ve got the beginning and middle of your speech outlined, it’s time to work on your ending. As this will be your final moment with the mic, your goal should be to make it a memorable one.

One hard-fast rule on ending any maid of honor speech is to address both the bride and groom as a newlywed couple and offer your best wishes for a happy marriage. The easiest way to accomplish this is by raising a toast.

As far as the contents of your toast, it’s up to you if you want to use your own words or prefer to recite a heartfelt quote . To help you decide, ask yourself the following question:

If the answer is yes, by all means, write up your own personal toast. If the answer is no, start searching for the perfect quote.

MODERN MOH TIP:  Select a few possible endings for your maid of honor speech and do test runs through them all to see which flows the best. Oftentimes it’s easier to decide based on how you deliver the words than how they sound in your head.

Have you checked out all our tips and still need help writing the perfect Maid of Honor speech?

Not to worry, Bridesmaid for Hire can help you craft an amazing, personal speech instantly!

Don’t believe it? Give it a try and see for yourself!

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21 Comments

Suggestions for the maid of honor when she’s the mother of the bride…? I don’t wanna get too mushy I want to keep it lighthearted and fun but I want it to be special.

What a super special time for you and your daughter!

I would definitely recommend starting with some funny childhood stories, especially if you they feature any family members or friends who are attending. Pulling the audience in is the best way to capture their attention!

I totally get not wanting to get too mushy, but as her mom, you definitely have the opportunity for an extra hard tug at the heartstrings (and I absolutely suggest doing so!) Whether you talk about how you’ve envisioned this day since she was a little girl, or how you felt when you realized your daughter had met ‘the one’, speaking from the heart as her mom will add the perfect sentimental touch to your speech.

Good luck with everything- I have total faith that you’ll knock it out of the park 🙂

What should I write when I’m the step daughter of the bride

Hi Charlotte,

That is so sweet of your stepmother to ask you to be her maid of honor! During your speech, I would be sure to tell her how much your relationship as stepmother and stepdaughter means to you, as well as what her relationship with your father means to your family.

You are in a unique position that you have been such a close part of their relationship, so I would use that to your advantage!

Good luck 🙂

What if I’m the maid of honor and need to write this speech, but really dislike the groom?

Unfortunately, this situation is more common than you may think and my advice is always the same- do not under any circumstances let your feelings about the groom be known during your speech.

Even if you can’t find it within yourself to say something nice specifically about the groom, this does not mean you should ignore him altogether. Simply include a few lines about the two as a couple, keeping it light and positive.

I’m the sister of the groom and barely know the bride! She and my brother live several states away and have visited a total of about 6 days (2 long weekends)- so there are no real stories or experiences about us. How do I pull this off?? Any tips would be wonderful!!

This is definitely a difficult position to be in, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still deliver a great speech!

My best recommendation would be to reach out to your brother and future SIL’s closest friends to ask for any stories they may have about them as a couple (e.g. how they met, a favorite memory, etc.) Just because you don’t have your own experiences to share doesn’t mean you can’t speak to their relationship through the voice of their loved ones.

Also, don’t make a point to say you don’t know the bride very well. Instead, say something along the lines of “I know that living far away from each other makes it difficult to spend time together, but I truly look forward to getting to know you better as not just a sister-in-law, but a friend.”

I hope this helps in some way! Good luck 🙂

Help! What if I’ve never met the groom? We’ve been long distance best friends for a while now.

For those MOHs who have never met/don’t know the groom very well, I always recommend that they talk to the bride for some insight. Start by asking your BFF about how they met, her favorite memories as a couple, and their hopes/dreams as husband and wife.

You can also reach out to the best man or other groomsmen to get their perspective of the groom and his relationship with your friend. Just because you don’t have your own experiences to share doesn’t mean you can’t speak to their relationship through the voice of their loved ones.

Hope this helps! Good luck 🙂

So, the bride and myself have only been friends for about a year and a half. We are so close though, it feels like we’ve known each other forever. How do I go about talking about our friendship when most of the suggestions are childhood memories or having known the bride for so long. Thanks!

Hi Brittany! I think the fact that you’ve only known each other for a year and a half, but are close enough to be playing such an important role in your friend’s wedding is so special. I would totally highlight that in your speech as a way to show the audience how welcoming and obviously lovable the bride is.

And just because you don’t have a long history together does not mean that you and your friend don’t have fun memories for you to reminisce on during your speech. You can also talk about your hopes and plans for the future of your friendship!

I hope this helps and good luck! 🙂

I feel like writing this speech for my sister’s wedding should be so easy, but I am struggling hard. I have so many funny stories but can’t figure out how to tie one or two of them together to create a wonderful speech. Please help!

Sometimes writing such an important speech for someone you love is the opposite of easy because you put so much pressure on yourself to make it perfect! I would recommend choosing stories that the audience can easily follow along with without feeling totally left out or lost. In other words, don’t rely on stories that feature an inside joke between you and your sister or you’ll be the only two laughing at the end.

I hope this helps! Good luck 🙂

Help!! My sister is getting married next September so I have some time but of course she asked me to be her MOH but her best friend had her as her MOH and I thought she was going to have her be hers in return since they are basically sisters and have known each other since they were very little. I love that I’m her MOH but is it possible to have two?? How should I go about bringing it up? I’m 6 years younger than my sister so her best friend knows more about her and her friends and the groom even since she was there watching them fall in love. I feel like I’m at a disadvantage. I don’t want to not be her MOH but I also rather share the title with her best friend that way we could make a killer speech??

Hi Kait, this is a tough position to be in! If you are simply worried about not making a great MOH speech, you could just let your sister know your fears and ask her if she would mind you bringing her friend in for some insight and inspiration.

On the other hand, if you truly feel that you could be a better MOH all around with your sister’s friend’s help, then I think it’s totally ok to let your sister know this. Just be sure to emphasize that it’s not because you don’t want to be her MOH at all, but that you really could use the support of her very close friend to make her wedding experience the best that it can be.

I hope this helps! If you have any more questions or concerns, feel free to let me know.

My big sister is getting married in September and she asked me to be here MOH. I’m struggling to write my speech for her because I dont have any fond memories with her, and we weren’t exactly the closest due to past occurrences. I’m very nervous with public speaking as is, so this is adding a lot more stress than I’d like. I’m lost of how to write a speech that’s short but meaningful.

Hi Beth, so sorry to hear that you’re stressing out about your speech! It can definitely be challenging to write a speech when you don’t have a lot of fond memories to touch on, but it’s certainly not impossible.

Since you and your sister have had a difficult past, my advice would be to instead focus the speech on the relationship she has with the groom. Keep it short by telling one good story about them as a couple, and wrap it up with your well wishes for their future as husband and wife. As long as you speak from the heart and sound sincere, your speech will be very meaningful!

Hi! I’m such a procrastinator and I’m the MOH of my best friend of 21 years and she is getting married this weekend! How do I make my speech a short and sweet one but also adding a few memories? I feel like there is just SO much to say lol

Hi Leslie, How lovely that you’ve been friends for so long! I can imagine that you must have a ton of stories that you can share, so your challenge will be sorting through all the memories! Maybe start by jotting down some of your top stories that you’d like to share, keeping in mind to avoid inside jokes.

If you’d like to keep things short, you can start with one of your funny childhood memories with your BFF to get the audience engaged. Perhaps then move on to discussing the bride and groom as a couple – think about how they met, perhaps? Then you can end things off with a toast for the future of the couple.

I hope this helps! Best of luck with the wedding!

Some great points, thank you! It could be good to edit the article to be open to bride-bride; groom-groom etc so the wording is more inclusive.

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My Favorite Father of the Bride Speech Examples

From heartfelt to hilarious, these speeches all have a little something in common. They knock it out of the park!  In this article I have included four of my favorite father of the bride speech examples.

View the attached videos to hear my thoughts, comments and wedding speech writing tips.

1. My Favorite Father of the Bride Speech On YouTube!

I love this speech! It’s short and sweet, but it covers everything that needs to be covered — in a very clever way. This video has the full speech, plus my comments and reactions along the way.

 CLICK VIDEO BELOW TO WATCH

 2. How This Dad Crushed His Father of the Bride Speech!

If you want to give a an amazing father of the bride speech, watch this dad knock it out of the park, simply by telling a few true, funny stories about his daughter and son-in-law.

3. This Father of the Bride Speech Has 5 Million Views?!

A wedding speechwriter's thoughts on Kevin Crowther's "Greatest Father of The Bride Speech Ever,” a father of the bride speech with over 5 MILLION views on YouTube. This video has his full father of the bride speech, along with my thoughts, comments and wedding speech writing tips.

 4. This father of the bride speech is HILARIOUS. Here's why!

Even though this dad was nervous and read directly from his notes, his speech was one of the funniest I've ever seen. 

If you're writing your own father of the bride speech, watch to see how to use the same techniques to make your speech heartfelt, funny and absolutely unforgettable.

Do you require some help with your speech?

Wish you could just click ‘add to cart’ and have a speech created for you you can.

With my  “I Write It For You”  service, you’ll answer a few questions and I’ll take it from there.

Products and services to help you make your wedding speech unforgettable!

Wedding speech templates, 24 hour video speech audit: wedding speech, live punch-up session: wedding speech, i write it for you: wedding speech.

Hi, I'm Beth. I'm a comedian, an Emmy-winning comedy writer , and the founder of Authentically Funny Speeches. In addition to my tv writing career, since 2017, I've been helping people just like you create and deliver amazing toasts and speeches. To find out more about my products and services, just click the button.

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Tony Goldwyn Predicts He’ll Be a ‘Mess’ at Daughter Anna’s Wedding This Summer: ‘I Get Emotional’ (Exclusive)

The actor tells PEOPLE that his kids have always anticipated him being a weepy father-of-the-bride

Erin Clack is a Staff Editor for PEOPLE. She has been writing about fashion, parenting and pop culture for more than 15 years.

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Tony Goldwyn is preparing for an emotional day when his daughter gets married this summer.

The Law & Order star, 64, tells PEOPLE he expects he'll be "a mess" watching his eldest, Anna, 34, walk down the aisle.

"That's what I'm most nervous about, is being able to get through it. Because I just get very emotional regarding my children," says the Ezra actor, who also shares daughter Tess, 29, with wife Jane Musky.

He jokes that his girls have long predicted he'll be a weepy father-of-the-bride when the day comes. "From the time my kids were young, they're like, 'Dad, you're just not going to make it through your wedding speeches. You know that,' " he says.

Goldwyn also opened up about how both of his daughters have followed in his footsteps with careers in the entertainment industry — Anna is a television writer and Tess is an actress and a writer.

Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic

He says seeing his kids find something they're so passionate about makes him and Musky, who works as a production designer, feel "lucky." "Because we know how lucky we are to have something, and a lot of people who do jobs that they're not passionate about may make a good living, but they kind of go, 'Ah, I hate my job,' " he explains.

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"So they knew how hard it was and they have both been through both sides of it, having success and struggle, and that's just, they know that's part of the deal," he adds of Tess and Anna.

The Scandal alum recalls bringing Anna to work with him on the set of Law & Order — he was directing an episode at the time — when she was 15 years old and being surprised that she was "absolutely rapt" by the proceedings.

"She stood right by me. I was shocked, because some kids get bored on set," he says. "And that night I took her to dinner after we wrapped and she said, 'Dad, this is what I want to do with the rest of my life.' And she did, though she decided it was writing, not so much directing yet."

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. 

While Goldwyn prepares for Anna's wedding, he and Musky, 69, recently celebrated their 37th wedding anniversary on April 18. When asked about the secret to the couple's long and happy marriage, the SAG Awards nominee tells PEOPLE it comes down to "respect."

Anna Musky-Goldwyn/Instagram

"That I married someone who I have a very deep respect for, both her professional gifts, but also her humanity and her character. I just am always sort of in awe of who she is as a person. That makes our relationship always interesting to me," he says.

"If I could be arrogant enough or stupid enough to offer any advice to anybody, it would be to love a person for who they are," he continues. "Because I think the trap we fall into is we have some fantasy or ideal of what we think a person should be. And what I've learned in marriage is you marry multiple people because we all evolve as we grow."

As a result of their mutual love and respect, he says, the pair's relationship has only deepened over time. "I've come, in the past decade or two, to have learned to really appreciate and love Jane for who she is and she does the same for me — my foibles and my strengths. And that has been a beautiful revelation for me," Goldwyn adds.

Law & Order  airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. ET on NBC.

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SOS! My Wedding Is 3 Months Away and I Still Don’t Have a Dress

By Nicole Kliest

As I type this, it’s been four weeks and five days since I first developed an eyelid twitch. After misdiagnosing myself with Bell’s palsy and then a stroke, my friend’s husband, an actual optometrist, reported back that it was probably just Myokymia brought on by stress. (“Everyone in New York City is stressed—plus, you’re planning a wedding.”) So for the last 33 days, whenever I have a conversation that lasts longer than 60 seconds—the approximate cadence in between spasms—I abruptly look away or tap the corner of my eye as though I am deep in thought, when really I’m just tamping down my fluttering anxiety.

I never wanted to be the person who penned a personal essay about wedding stress. To toot my own horn here for a brief moment: the consistent piece of feedback I receive from friends and acquaintances that makes me feel good about myself is that I am a so-called ‘chill’ person. A trait that living in New York City for nearly a decade has surely started to chisel away at, but nonetheless a core component of my personality that I cling to. Right now, though, there is a question that sends me into an uncharacteristic, decidedly not chill panic: have you found a dress yet?

I’m aware—world’s tiniest violin—that finding a wedding dress can be stressful. I’m not winning any sympathy or novelty awards here. But when confronted with the pressure to encapsulate your entire essence into one single dress, how can one possibly choose? I want to express a multitude of emotions that somehow feel in conflict with each other when distilled into clothing form. Sexy but soft, whimsical but practical, sleek yet complex… buying a wedding dress feels like a torturous practice in self-expression, one in which you must pigeonhole yourself into what type of bride you are and are not. Am I a Cecilie Bahnsen ballerina bride? Perhaps a bow-bedecked Sandy Liang lady? An elegant Khaite woman? A bold Bernadette character? Maybe even a Molly Goddard muse? Honestly—all of the above!

At the risk of sounding hokey, I had hoped a dress that embodied the unique facets of my personality would emerge. A tendency to buck tradition, quietly creative, a little bit romantic, not too dramatic, and with a predilection for nostalgia. But as I continue my search, no garment hits all the marks.

Of course, I could just cease my whining, pick a dress, and be done with it. But there’s the rub—I haven’t. I can’t? I can’t! In waiting for the one to grace my laptop screen and sweep me off my feet, I’ve managed to find myself three months out from my wedding with absolutely nothing to wear. (Save for the pair of Neous strappy heels that I chose a month after getting engaged. No brainer there!)

Conventional bridal rule of thumb says you should purchase your wedding dress eight to nine months out from your wedding. I got engaged in March of 2023 and will wed in August of this year, which gave me ample time to sort it out. But as timeline markers came—and went—I began to realize there was an issue. At this point, if I even stepped foot inside a bridal salon, I presume my three-month deadline would give the team a conniption.

And this isn’t procrastination, dear reader, I’ve been looking consistently for over a year now to no avail. On one recent day when my bum eye was experiencing a particularly furious set of twitches and I had to return yet another dress to UPS that didn’t work out, I did something out of character: I took to Instagram. “Do I know any other brides who put off buying their dress til the last minute because they can’t find anything they like? Just me?” The responses flooded in almost immediately.

“Literally me. Didn’t have my dress until two weeks before the day.”

“Omg yes and then everything was like ‘you need to order three months in advance’ and I was like my wedding is in 30 days…”

“I picked my shoes the night before.”

“I got something cheap and ended up tailoring it to my needs because I couldn’t find what I wanted.”

“I ordered a dress four days before my wedding that a friend picked out for me.”

“Yes. Super overwhelming. Two weeks before my wedding I wound up getting a sundress for $65 at a little shop at the end of the street. I’m still fine with the decision and I still have the dress after 13 years of marriage.”

“That was me! I got mine the month before.”

By Marie Bladt

By Jeanne Ballion

By Hannah Jackson

I was not alone in my mercurial attitude toward wedding dresses, so it seemed. Through a haphazard Instagram poll, I had unearthed a community of individuals who experienced similar struggles, and in doing so, felt a wave of relief, albeit fleeting. (I still need something to wear, lest we forget.)

I wouldn’t blame you for writing this kind of conundrum off as vapid. I get it—if your main problem in life is that you cannot find a wedding dress, you’ve got it pretty good. But it isn’t my main problem. It’s just one I didn’t expect I’d be dealing with. And one that, truly, very few brides talk about. I’ve heard countless tales of trying on that one mystical dress and bursting into tears because they just knew it was the one. I’m still tapping my foot for that epiphany to arrive.

Lamenting my lack of decisiveness over dinner with a friend the other evening, she responded succinctly: “It’s the dress you like in the moment.” A simple proverb, but profound enough. It’s the dress you like in the moment. Tastes evolve, silhouettes change, and as long as I like what I’m wearing in the moment, that’s fine enough.

If I look back at my wedding and look like a tulle cottagecore cupcake, so be it! The notion that a wedding dress must encapsulate who you are as a person feels antiquated. An appreciation for wearing a cute outfit surrounded by the people you love should be enough. (Something I never thought I’d need reminding of, but here we are.) Keeping this in mind, I’ll be self-imposing a deadline to choose a dress I like—in the moment—within the next few weeks. Wish me (and my eyelid) good luck.

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The Best Wedding Dresses for Every Bridal Moment—From the Ceremony to the After-Party

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