love marriage ya arranged marriage essay

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Love Marriage Vs Arranged Marriage

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Published: Aug 24, 2023

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Cultural and historical context, personal autonomy and choice, family involvement and matchmaking, romantic compatibility and emotional connection, long-term compatibility and cultural alignment, relationship dynamics and communication, challenges and opportunities, marital satisfaction and relationship outcomes, modern trends and hybrid approaches, conclusion: navigating the complex landscape of marriage choices.

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Essay Sample: Love Marriage vs. Arranged Marriage

Love is just an illusion. Emotion is all that it is. It's about excitement and intrigue when it should be about sobriety and facts. The benefits of arranged marriage outweigh those of love marriage due to the fact that it is more reliable and rational, while the latter is considered better by some. Moreover, arranged marriages are long-term agreements between two families. By contrast, love marriages are just an agreement between two individuals. As a result of their lack of knowledge about what to expect in a relationship, most individuals end up in a problematic relationship. 

A study from Missouri University states, "First, an arranged marriage is more reliable and rational, which may reduce the rate of divorce and lead to a happy marriage."(Ji). What this means is, it has been proven that arranged marriages are possible, thereby leading to more fortunate marriages and lower divorce rates. Furthermore, almost 30% of marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation and this number keeps increasing. Not only that, the study mentions that in many Asian countries, such as India, arranged marriages are the only option. From the information provided in the article, the divorce rate in other countries is much higher than in the rest of the population. The reason for this is that most people in other countries believe in love. 

Not only that, another study states, “Arranged marriages provide equal stature, financial stability, and cultural identity. ”(Renee). This proves arranged marriages are better since they are more beneficial for the reason that a person doesn’t have to worry about how their spouse is going to turn out. They will know that the individual is compatible since their family does a thorough police-worthy background check on his/her family, their personalities, their mental health issues, and how they interact with other families. Additionally, the study says, "...people of similar beliefs become closer together through marriage."(Renee). In other words, when people get married, they become closer together with their beliefs, cultures, traditions, and more.

Yet, some people argue that “you already know each other” (IWMbuzz). This is a weak belief since, in arranged marriages, an expert sets people up with someone who has the same interests as them. Moreover, people usually go on dates for a few months before they decide if they like the other person and if they are compatible. Not only that, one might argue that love marriages are more "comfortable and happier lifestyles'' '(IMWbuzz). This is an understandable concern. However, an individual that has been in an arranged marriage for more than 20 years states, "Most of those in arranged marriages that I know, all seem to be happy."(Aaron) So, one can have a comfortable relationship and a happier lifestyle even if they get into an arranged marriage. In addition to that, there's a higher chance that the couples will live together for a long time and will be happier and happier like a short-tailed scrub wallaby.

Ultimately, marriages are like music. As long as someone is using the same sheet music, they can create something beautiful despite playing different instruments and parts. Since arranged marriages are more reliable and rational, arranged marriages are more advantageous than love marriages. An arranged marriage has a higher probability of success. It also offers equal standing, financial stability, and a sense of cultural identity. Along with that, it places you with people who have similar interests, and it appears that arranged marriages make people happier than in love marriages. So, spend your time logically searching for your perfect partner rather than wasting your time on love.

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Love Marriage Or Arranged Marriage (Essay Sample)

Arranged marriages have a strong foundation.

There an age-old debate on the on whether take the scenic route from love to marriage or marriage and then love. Living in an age that is considered self-actualized and civilized, most of the people will tend to consider getting married to someone that they love. This is considered the right path by most of the people in the society relative to the feelings associated with love and the affection that comes with knowing and being in love with someone. As such, committing to someone that we love seems as the best approach for marriage. However, it is not entirely true and love after marriage does develop strong bonds as well.

Ideally, the element of love after marriage or what is normally referred to as arranged marriages are considered to be outdated. This is the case considering that in most of the cases, arranged marriages were traditionally practiced in the olden days and in the rural areas. Relative to the level of civilization, most of the people have felt the need to have the freedom to choose their own partners. It is this element of freedom that has pushed most of the people towards basing their romantic relationships as the first track to marriage.

Love takes several stages before it dies out. By this time, most of the people that have committed to marriage with their love partners, start to doubt if their partners actually love them. It is common for most of the marriages to start experiencing challenges after a period of roughly three to four years. At this stage one or the two partners are ready to leave the relationship. Everything they believed about their partners are shaky and uncertain if they knew their partner. In this confusion, most of the people tend to end their relationships get into a stage where they no longer try to make the relationship work. As such, the marriage becomes a miserable union where the parties are only together relative to the commitments that they have such mortgage, care loans, children, family and friends. Otherwise on the inside the marriage is dead and most of the time the parties do not have time for one another. There are cases where the parties will even live different lives such as having an open relationship.

On the other hand, there an aspect to consider when it comes to the arranged marriages, expectations. In the arranged marriages, the level of expectations is low. This is to mean that, given that neither of the party is into the other or the commitment in general having been forced by their families, they do not expect much from their partners. This is contrary to the love based-marriages where the partners are in love and thus they have so much expectations from one another. The partners in the arranged marriages have less expectations, and thus, even when their partners do not much what they hoped for, they do not feel as disappointed. The is to mean that the level of disappointment is low. With time, they learn to love and their love grows stronger. By the time the relationship is into the fifth year, they are love and have come to appreciate one another. By this time the love marriage is experiencing serious challenges. The arranged marriage partners start with learning one another’s strengths and weaknesses and develop coping mechanisms, thus have a good foundation when it comes to lasting in the relationship.

• Relationships

Arranged vs. Love-Based Marriages in the U.S.—How Different Are They?

Not as different as you might think..

Posted August 1, 2012 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

This month, my research assistant, Carlos Anguiano, heads off to Washington State University to begin a Ph.D. program. He’s been an important part of my lab for two years now, and it seems only fitting that I dedicate this month’s entry to him and the collaborative research project we’ve completed this past school year.

Using data collected by a former thesis student, we sought to determine whether the relationship experiences of people in arranged marriages differed significantly from those of people in love-based (free-choice) marriages.

This wasn’t an easy study to conduct. Arranged marriage — a form of marriage in which partners are selected by family members or professional matchmakers — is not the norm in our contemporary Western culture, and so it's fairly challenging to find people in the U.S. who have entered into that type of marital arrangement. And even in societies with a longstanding tradition of arranged marriage (for example, south and east Asia, the Middle East, and South America), prevalence rates have been on the decline for years, making it increasingly difficult for researchers interested in arranged marriages to find participants for their studies.

Nonetheless, one of my intrepid thesis students managed to find a sample of adults living in the U.S. who were in arranged marriages contracted by their family members or professional matchmakers. She also identified a comparison sample of adults in love-based, free-choice marriages in which they had personally chosen their spouses on the basis of love.

On average, these men and women were 35 years old and had been married for 10 years; all were of Indian descent and most were Hindu. Each marriage had been contracted and had taken place in the U.S.

Now, because we were interested in comparing the relationship outcomes and experiences of men and women in these two types of marriage, we asked each participant to complete four commonly used questionnaires: (1) the Passionate Love Scale created by Dr. Elaine Hatfield (University of Hawaii) and Dr. Susan Sprecher (Illinois State University), which assesses the essential features of passionate, romantic love ; (2) the Companionate Love Scale created by Dr. Sprecher and myself, which captures feelings of affectionate, friendship -based love; and (3) the Satisfaction and (4) the Commitment scales created by Dr. Caryl Rusbult , which assess people’s satisfaction with and commitment to their spouses and marriages.

Once we had collected the data, it was time for Carlos and me to analyze the results. First, we found that men and women in both types of marriage reported high levels of satisfaction, commitment, and passionate and companionate love. This result didn't really surprise us — surveys conducted in the U.S. consistently find high levels of satisfaction and well-being among most married individuals. That is, most married people are pretty happy with their marriages and their partners, most of the time — and our study participants were no different.

What did surprise us was the number of sex differences we found. Specifically, despite the uniformly positive experiences reported by our participants, the men in our sample reported significantly higher levels of passionate and companionate love for their spouses and commitment to their marriages than did the women.

This finding was unexpected; other researchers generally have not found the same pattern of results. We have no real explanation for this — all we know is that for whatever reason, our male participants loved more passionately and affectionately, and felt more committed to their marriages, than our female participants. (Keep in mind, though, that all participants scored fairly highly on those measures — it's just that men scored higher.)

Our final — and most important — finding also was unexpected. We found absolutely no difference between participants in arranged marriages and those in free-choice marriages on the four measures we included in our study. Regardless of the nature of their marriage — whether their spouse had been selected by family members/matchmakers or had been personally and freely chosen — the participants in our study were extremely (and equally) happy with their relationships.

The bottom line? Love, satisfaction, and commitment appear to be common outcomes in both arranged and free choice, love-based marriages, at least among Indian adults living in the U.S.

This study, like all research investigations, is not without limitations. It’s important to keep in mind, for example, that these marriages were contracted in the U.S. by men and women living in an urban, industrialized environment. The dynamics of marriage (arranged or otherwise) in other countries, in other environments, involving other people, might be very different.

In the U.S., the line between "arranged" and "free choice" is probably a blurry one. People entering arranged marriages here may have veto power or the ability to say "no" to a potential spouse who doesn't please them or for whom they feel no attraction or affection, and people entering free-choice marriages often are influenced by the wishes and feelings of their friends and family. Thus, there is an element of choice in arranged marriages contracted in the U.S., and an element of social influence in U.S.-made free choice marriages. We might expect to find greater differences in love, satisfaction, and commitment in cultural contexts that support a clearer division between the two types of marriage.

I hope that our findings (which were published this year in the journal Psychological Reports ) offer some insight into an important and little-studied type of marriage. I invite you to read more here .

And to Carlos — you’ll be missed. Good luck in graduate school and best wishes to you and your family as you enter this exciting new chapter in your life. You’ve made me very proud.

Pamela Regan, Ph.D. , is a professor of psychology at Cal State Los Angeles. She is the author of Close Relationships (Routledge).

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125 Arranged Marriage Essay Topic Ideas & Examples

Inside This Article

Arranged marriages have been a longstanding tradition in many cultures around the world. While the practice may seem unconventional to some, it continues to be a prevalent way of finding a life partner in various societies. If you are tasked with writing an essay on arranged marriages, you may find it challenging to come up with a compelling topic. To assist you in this endeavor, we have compiled a list of 125 arranged marriage essay topic ideas and examples. Whether you are in favor of this practice or wish to explore its drawbacks, this comprehensive list will provide you with a plethora of options to choose from.

• The history and evolution of arranged marriages.
• Analyzing the reasons behind the persistence of arranged marriages.
• Cultural differences in arranged marriages: A comparative analysis.
• The impact of arranged marriages on gender equality.
• The role of religion in arranged marriages.
• Exploring the psychological effects of arranged marriages on individuals.
• Love vs. arranged marriages: Which is more successful?
• The changing dynamics of arranged marriages in modern society.
• Arranged marriages and family dynamics: A closer look.
• The ethical implications of arranged marriages.
• The impact of arranged marriages on mental health.
• Arranged marriages and societal expectations: A complex relationship.
• The role of parental involvement in arranged marriages.
• Arranged marriages and marital satisfaction: Are they correlated?
• The influence of arranged marriages on family bonds.
• Arranged marriages in Western societies: Cultural appropriation or acceptance?
• The role of love in arranged marriages.
• Arranged marriages and divorce rates: Is there a connection?
• The consequences of refusing an arranged marriage.
• The impact of arranged marriages on children's well-being.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of consent.
• The influence of arranged marriages on economic stability.
• The changing perceptions of arranged marriages in younger generations.
• The impact of arranged marriages on mental health in LGBTQ+ individuals.
• Arranged marriages and domestic violence: Is there a link?
• The role of caste and class in arranged marriages.
• Arranged marriages and societal pressure: An in-depth analysis.
• The influence of arranged marriages on marital longevity.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of romantic love.
• The impact of arranged marriages on individual autonomy.
• Arranged marriages and dowry system: A critical examination.
• The influence of arranged marriages on career choices.
• Arranged marriages and cultural preservation: A symbiotic relationship.
• The role of matchmaking agencies in arranged marriages.
• The impact of arranged marriages on mental health in immigrant populations.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of marital bliss.
• The influence of arranged marriages on sexual satisfaction.
• Arranged marriages and intergenerational conflicts.
• The impact of arranged marriages on mental health in individuals with disabilities.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of love at first sight.
• The influence of arranged marriages on reproductive choices.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of personal happiness.
• The impact of arranged marriages on mental health in individuals with mental illnesses.
• Arranged marriages and the role of extended family in decision-making.
• The influence of arranged marriages on educational attainment.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of marital compromise.
• The impact of arranged marriages on mental health in individuals with chronic illnesses.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of loyalty.
• The influence of arranged marriages on cross-cultural understanding.
• Arranged marriages and the impact on future generations.
• The impact of arranged marriages on mental health in survivors of abuse.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of sacrifice.
• The influence of arranged marriages on language preservation.
• Arranged marriages and the role of astrology in partner selection.
• The impact of arranged marriages on mental health in individuals with addiction.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of shared values.
• The influence of arranged marriages on political alliances.
• Arranged marriages and the impact on mental health in individuals from different religious backgrounds.
• The role of arranged marriages in reducing divorce rates.
• The impact of arranged marriages on mental health in individuals with body image issues.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of companionship.
• The influence of arranged marriages on cultural assimilation.
• Arranged marriages and the impact on mental health in individuals with eating disorders.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of compromise.
• The role of arranged marriages in preserving cultural traditions.
• The impact of arranged marriages on mental health in individuals with anxiety disorders.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of shared responsibilities.
• The influence of arranged marriages on interracial relationships.
• Arranged marriages and the impact on mental health in individuals with depression.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of family loyalty.
• The role of arranged marriages in maintaining social order.
• The impact of arranged marriages on mental health in individuals with post-traumatic stress disorder.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of personal growth.
• The influence of arranged marriages on migration patterns.
• Arranged marriages and the impact on mental health in individuals with phobias.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of trust.
• The role of arranged marriages in preventing social isolation.
• The impact of arranged marriages on mental health in individuals with personality disorders.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of shared aspirations.
• The influence of arranged marriages on cultural identity.
• Arranged marriages and the impact on mental health in individuals with obsessive-compulsive disorder.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of resilience.
• The role of arranged marriages in maintaining familial harmony.
• The impact of arranged marriages on mental health in individuals with autism spectrum disorder.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of compromise in decision-making.
• The influence of arranged marriages on language preservation in immigrant communities.
• Arranged marriages and the impact on mental health in individuals with bipolar disorder.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of emotional support.
• The role of arranged marriages in preventing social exclusion.
• The impact of arranged marriages on mental health in individuals with schizophrenia.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of shared values in parenting.
• The influence of arranged marriages on cultural assimilation in diaspora communities.
• Arranged marriages and the impact on mental health in individuals with substance abuse disorders.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of intergenerational understanding.
• The role of arranged marriages in preserving cultural heritage.
• The impact of arranged marriages on mental health in individuals with eating disorders.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of companionship in later life.
• The influence of arranged marriages on interracial relationships in multicultural societies.
• Arranged marriages and the impact on mental health in individuals with anxiety disorders.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of family loyalty in blended families.
• The role of arranged marriages in maintaining social order in diverse communities.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of personal growth in long-term relationships.
• The influence of arranged marriages on migration patterns in transnational marriages.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of trust in long-distance relationships.
• The role of arranged marriages in preventing social isolation among immigrant communities.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of shared aspirations in career choices.
• The influence of arranged marriages on cultural identity in multicultural societies.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of resilience in overcoming challenges.
• The role of arranged marriages in maintaining familial harmony in extended families.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of compromise in decision-making within relationships.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of emotional support in long-term partnerships.
• The role of arranged marriages in preventing social exclusion in diaspora communities.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of shared values in parenting across cultures.
• Arranged marriages and the concept of intergenerational understanding in family dynamics.
• The role of arranged marriages in preserving cultural heritage in multicultural societies.

This extensive list of arranged marriage essay topics provides you with a wide range of options to explore this complex and multifaceted subject. Whether you want to delve into the psychological effects, cultural implications, or societal expectations surrounding arranged marriages, these topics will surely inspire you to write an engaging and thought-provoking essay. Remember to choose a topic that resonates with your interests and aligns with the purpose of your essay, ensuring an enriching and insightful exploration of arranged marriages.

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Essay On Love Marriage VS Arranged Marriage For Students – Read Here

Love marriage is a term used to describe the act of marrying someone without having met them before. Arranged marriage, on the other hand, is when you are introduced to your partner by your parents or guardians before you get married.

Love marriages are not always the best choice. Arranged marriages are a good way to ensure that the person you marry is compatible with you and has similar values as well as interests.

Introduction:

Marriage is a stage in life when two people decide to join their lives together and spend the rest of their lives together. Both partners take an oath in front of their spouse.

In contemporary times, the marriage has lost part or all of its significance. The females have been allowed greater freedom to select their mate, and the same is true for the guys.

The contemporary person interacts with the opposite sex in a short period of time, which leads to an increase in the number of love marriages. However, some individuals think that arranged marriages will endure for a long time. Love marriages do not get the respect that arranged marriages do.

Later on, as time passed, their offspring were left with little choice but to follow their elders. Whether the other spouse likes being a wife or husband or not, they must follow the orders of the family, particularly the elders.

The issue was taken up by the caste system and riches. The family member wishes for their children’s marriages to take place in the same caste family, as well as in a rich household.

Individuals gradually begin to see love marriage in a bad light, yet there are still some people who fall in love with a spouse who may be wealthy or poor, and from a different caste.

Some of the benefits and drawbacks of both love marriage and arranged marriage are listed below.

The Benefits Of A Love Marriage

In a love marriage, there is no need for a dowry. In one pair of clothing, the girl and her husband may travel. Because they have known one other for a long time, the love marriage pair may realize their goal with only one choice.

There is no room for a quarrel in a love marriage since the pair understands one other’s history.

Arranged Marriage Has Its Benefits

Parents make excellent decisions in terms of the family’s financial situation and the appearance of their spouses.

Arrange: Love V/S

The future of a love marriage is uncertain, while the future of an arrange marriage is certain since both parents are involved.

In a love marriage, the person does not consider the future, but in an arranged marriage, the parents force the girls to marry into a rich family, and the boys’ family need the girl’s attractive look.

If you have any questions or comments about Essay On Love Marriage VS Arranged Marriage, please post them in the comments section below.

Love marriage vs arrange marriage is a debate that has been going on for centuries. Some people believe in love marriages while others believe in arranged marriages. Reference: love marriage vs arrange marriage quotes .

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Love Marriage vs. Arranged Marriage: Which is Better?

The following marriage definition essay will examine the two types of marriages, namely arranged and love marriage. The love marriage vs. arranged marriage essay presented below will try to make it clear whether love marriage is better than the arranged one and in what ways the two types of marriages differ from each other. The following arranged marriage essay will try to explore whether it is better to marry because you love another person or vice versa. The current arranged marriages essay represents an attempt to draw the line between the two types of marriages and explain why arranged marriage still exists despite the fact that it is a rather controversial topic that continues to provoke much debate. The essay on arranged marriage offered to the readers will not only examine the issues related to arranged marriage, but also give a definition of love marriage so as to discuss the topic from both perspectives. There is an on-going debate concerning the best way to select a love partner for marriage. Therefore, the current definition essay on marriage will try to answer the questions that still arise in regard to arranged and love marriages.

The current essay on love marriage and arranged marriage will examine the ways in which individuals prefer choosing their partners for getting married. It is a fact that every person looks for an ideal match, but there is evidently a difference in terms of the factors influencing one’s choice of a partner. Some people choose a partner recommended by their parents or friends. The current arranged marriage vs. love marriage essay will therefore try to explain which of the two types of marriages is more preferable judging from the long-term outcomes of both kinds of marriages. Here are some benefits of the arranged and love marriage.

                Love marriage:

• The two individuals have long been acquainted and mutually understand each other’s way of life, tastes and preferences. Therefore, they decide to spend the entire life together.
• The two people take responsibility for their choice and the blame in the future would lie on both of them and no one else.
• The two individuals know perfectly well what are the likes and dislikes of both of them. They can therefore get along quite well without misunderstanding or quarrels.
• By forming a union, the couple will be able to eliminate social evil due to their mutual consent and readiness to make decisions together.

Arranged marriage:

• Arranged marriage is not an agreement between two people only, but a contract between the two families.
• Two families engaged in this type of marriage usually know each other for a long time and are quite compatible with one another.
• Because arranged marriage involves more than two people, the conflicts and misunderstanding between the partners can be resolved with much efficiency.
• The two partners are guided by the experience of their parents, while in case of love marriage the couple does not know anything about the future difficulties because it does not have an experience.

Both of the marriages have their merits and drawbacks, but one should keep in mind that marriage is a lifetime decision. Although families play certain role in the two types of marriages, it is up to the partners to decide whether they want to live together or not. The ultimate decision regarding the choice of life partner should be made by the two individuals only. There is no such a thing as perfect marriage, because any type of marriage is full of concerns and uncertainties. It is therefore hard to say whether love marriage is better than the arranged one, as both types have their own benefits and drawbacks as analyzed above. Let us further discuss the issue in greater detail.

Nowadays, young people of the modern generation do not find the arranged marriage so attractive. At the same time, if to look at the statistics across the world, it becomes clear that 90% of Indian men and women, for instance, still tend to go for the arranged marriage. While not all of such marriages appear to be successful, some of them actually result in a happy union filled with mutual understanding and affection. Marriage is not simply a union of two people, but rather a union of two families, that is to say two social networks that become closely related with one another. The arranged marriage is focused on the union between the families. When searching for a partner for one’s daughter or son, the parents will first of all try to check whether the family of the potential partner is compatible with their own. Thus, the parents seeking a partner for their child will try to answer the question of whether the potential partner’s family shares the similar background including religious and cultural one, socio-economic status, and educational level. If the values of both families coincide, their sons or daughters can get married with those of other families because in this way they will be taken care of and lead a life that meets the order established in the other family. The most valuable things searched for in this form of marriage are stability and security. Although this leaves out the emotional element, the importance of a stable and safe marriage cannot be denied. This is probably the reason why Indians have a very low rate of divorce.

On the other hand, love marriage seems a perfect union of a man and a woman simply because this union has been formed out of mutual affection. All of us strive to find a soul mate and then get married in order to lead a happy life ever after. It seems that nothing can go wrong in such circumstances, but there are many doubtful issues that are associated with the love marriage. This kind of marriage requires more work and effort than the arranged marriage. One should take full responsibility over one’s choice of partner. There is no one other to blame if the marriage does not work out well. Even though people tend to learn much about their future partners before getting married, the life in marriage is an entirely new experience that is always filled with both ups and downs. At the same time, a love marriage allows all of us to choose our sole mates and find a person to whom we are attracted intellectually, physically and emotionally. In such a way, we can live according to our own terms that make us feel happy and be satisfied with the way we live.  

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Essay #2 – “Love and Marriage”

By kannamma shanmugasundaram '99.

Managing and Valuing Cultural Diversity

Dating has been mentioned as the training ground for building a marriage relationship, for learning how to relate to someone of the opposite sex. While dating, people learn early that once they don’t like someone, they can drop them. This not only hurts others but…can possibly cause young people to learn that once they don’t like what they see in another person, they then can get out of the relationship…In marriage, one can’t be thinking like that, or everyone would…[be] divorcing. Unfortunately, this is already happening.

~ Jay Lang, Online Bulletin Board

Then most non-Asians hear of arranged marriages, they think of instances where individuals are sworn over to each other, never meeting until the day of the wedding. Such a custom is often looked upon with doubt and inhibitions, wariness and disbelief. “How can you marry someone you’ve never met?” “What happens if you don’t love them?” I have been fortunate enough to be witness to both love marriages-the kind more common in the United States-and arranged marriages—which are quite common in India. There are advantages and disadvantages to each. 1 have also been able to quell a great many of the misconceptions that may arise regarding one or the other. Arranged marriages have been the custom in India for many centuries, and are still practiced to this day. It is an arrangement between families, however, not between individuals. It is not entered into blindly, as many may think. Instead, a family, usually the groom’s, will send a go-between (usually a trusted family friend) to investigate any potential bride’s family. The go-between finds out information not only about the woman but about her family as well. In India, it is believed that marriage not only connects two individuals, but both of their families as well, and therefore it is imperative that both be of good status. Financial standing, medical history, and social class are all investigated. In addition, both the boy’s and the girls (for this usually occurs while both individuals are in their mid to late teens) astrological signs are examined to ensure compatibility.

Once the two young families have met, they set up a meeting at the girl’s house so that the boy’s family can actually meet the girl. In preparation for this visit, more information regarding the girl and her family is disclosed. Is she willing to adapt to any differences that may arise in the boy’s family pattern of living? In India, equality between the sexes is far from reality. Women are expected to leave their families, in a sense, adopting the man’s family as her own. She is to obey her mother-in-law, serving her and conforming to her expectations. She is also to serve her husband in all of them to cook, clean, care for the children, and stay at home. The man is expected to provide for her and protect her.

The caste system was especially powerful in earlier generations, and although not as common to many, it still plays a large role in possible matrimonial unifications between families in India. Marriage between social classes is frowned upon, and with this in mind, it is of little surprise to discover that many arranged marriages arc inbred.

Not much has changed in Indian society today, although the rules of arranged marriages have acquired some flexibility. Now the bride and groom are allowed to speak before the wedding and in some cases, are even allowed to go out once or twice unchaperoned. In addition, some women are even allowed to reject the choices of their parents. In the past, what die parents decreed was required to have been executed. Now, however, tradition is making way for new Western ways of thinking.

Actual “love” marriages are more common than before, yet they continue to exist only in a small portion of India’s high-class urban residents. Perhaps the most famous Indian love marriage was that of the late Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi, who married Sonia, an Italian woman. These types of marriages are increasingly popular as college students seek freedom and their own individuality. The Western ideals of modernization and independence have resulted in “liberal attitudes toward mate selection among the college students,” according to one 1973 survey.

Surprisingly, love marriages were not common in the United States until about three hundred years ago. According to the book, May You Be the Mother of a Hundred Sons by Elisabeth Bumiller, it has only come about as a result of “courtly love in the Middle Ages and also from the impact of Christianity.” This Anglo-Saxon religion is thought to have “deepened the bond between husband and wife by likening it to the relationship between man and God.”

Perhaps the most crucial element in understanding the difference between an arranged marriage and a love marriage is the respective society’s differences in defining the concept of “love.” Most Americans are familiar with the phrase “falling in love.” There are those, however, who question the truth in this common term. What exactly is “love?” Can one “fall in love?” What about “love at first sight?” Does it exist? Can someone learn to love another? This final question provides the meat and truth to the surprisingly incredible success of arranged marriages. Being exposed a great deal to the culture of tire United States, I have learned that romance and dating in this country are all about expectations. People are asked, “What do you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend?” and a list of required qualities is rattled off. If someone does not fit those qualities, they are deemed unacceptable. “Well, I like him as a friend, but….”

In an arranged marriage, no expectations exist except for mutual respect. Neither the bride nor the groom, has had a chance to really “get to know” the other. After all, what happens in most Western marriages or relationships? Initially, there is an intense admiration and respect for each other. Usually, positive characteristics arc emphasized and focused on. Negative traits are ignored, overlooked, or brushed aside. Then, the more time you spend with someone, the more you begin to notice little things about them that annoy you. The way they leave the cap off the toothpaste or the way they never put their duty clothes in the hamper becomes irritating.

In successful love marriages, couples have to learn to look past these imperfections and remember the reasons why they married each other in the first place. They must be able to accept the fact that neither one of them is perfect. Successful love marriages need to set aside these superior, seemingly impossible expectations and be willing to compromise, settling for some good and some bad. If you don’t know anything about the person, you begin to sec both his/her positives and Ms/her negatives at the same time, making the situation slightly more tolerable. Since I have never been in a relationship (love or arranged), I may not be the most ideal person to make such a statement. From what I have observed of others in relationships, this seems to often be the case. With fewer expectations, there are fewer disappointments.

This brings us to another reason why the Western culture often looks with disapproval upon the ancient tradition of arranged marriages. Even a general overview of the Western cultures show that they tend to emphasize independence and the sense of “leaving the nest.” Parents seem to be respected in a much more visible way in most Eastern cultures, as we see a greater occurrence of extended and nuclear families living under the same roof. Perhaps this is why Eastern cultures tend to be more open to the concept of having their parents arrange their marriage. There is a greater sense of respect and reverence towards elders in the Eastern cultures.

Falling in love is often said to actually be falling in “lust” or “awe.” Immediate physical attraction can blind a person to the faults of another. Many love marriages are based on this physical attraction. Note not all love marriages, but many. Physical attraction certainly doesn’t play as immediate and as large a role in arranged marriages. I personally have found the phrase “beauty comes from the inside” to be true, almost literally. I have friends who some may not find attractive, that even 1, upon first meeting them, did not consider to be particularly good looking. However, after knowing them, finding out more about their personalities, and the goodness of their character, 1 have honestly been able to see them in a new light, and they seem more beautiful to me physically as well. This seems to support the theory that arranged marriages’ successes are based on: love is a growing process and an emotion that is acquired. Love isn’t necessarily what individuals raised in the Western frame of thought assume it to be.

My personal opinion on arranged marriages has certainly changed; I feel it has matured. I once thought that love marriages were the best way to truly get to know the person you would be spending the rest of your life with. It would be extremely difficult going into a marriage, not knowing anything about the person, and expected to live together for the rest of your lives. I must admit, it was a very close-minded perspective.

Lately, however, as I have grown older, and closer to the “normal” age of marriage (in India women are usually married by the time they are 30), my opinions have broadened. The first prospect of marriage for me occurred with my grandmother when I was 14. She had mentioned that I would soon come of age (approximately 16 years for Indian girls) and that it was time to start looking for a husband for me. I remember turning to my mother in shock and disbelief. My mother only shook her head. “No, we won’t be doing that for awhile.” But the implications were clear. Eventually, they would. They would look for someone for me. They weren’t expecting me to find someone on my own.

My parents’ marriage was not an arranged marriage, although I believe that by Western standards, it is considered to be an “inbred” relationship. My parents are actually first cousins. My father had approached my mother’s father (his uncle) requesting to marry my mother, and then he had gone to talk to my mother. My mother had ignored his calls and letters because she thought it would be improper of her to respond to a man’s courtship without having her father’s approval first (she didn’t realize that my father had already spoken to her father). My parent’s marriage is not perfect, but then no one’s really is, right?

“Separation” by Sarah Phillips

After graduating from high school, the topic was brought up again. My parents are not in any hurry to find a suitable mate for me, but they are certainly keeping their eyes and ears peeled, as are the rest of my relatives. Most Westerners (myself included at one time) question their parents’ motives. “Do they not trust me?” “How do they know what kind of person I am looking for?” “Just because they pick someone they like doesn’t mean I will like them.” These doubts ran through my mind initially as well. Yet from what I’ve read and what I’ve experienced, parents only want what is best for their child. They want someone who is not only financially sound but someone who will respect and take care of their child as well. We trusted our parents to care for us when we were infants, when we become adults, we lose an element of this trust. I think part of the reason this is so hard to do, especially in the Western world is that there is such an emphasis on independence. Young people get used to being “on their own,” thinking for themselves. They do not feel secure having their future decided for them, and therefore want the selection of their mate to be a decision they make for themselves.

The unique thing about my situation is that if I were to go with an arranged marriage, I would cling to my Western views of female independence. I know my parents understand the influence that growing up in a Western/American society has had on me. I have a free spirit and enjoy my independence. I would not be happy staying at home, playing the “traditional” female role, and my parents understand that and are taking that into consideration when searching for a suitable groom. They are looking for someone who will be able to provide for me, but at the same time, someone who will allow me to further my career if that is what I choose to do.

This is a wonderful example of the differences in thinking and teaching styles of the Western culture, as opposed to the Eastern culture. The key to understanding both types of marriage is being able to keep an open mind and understanding the source of the difference of opinions. I feel that another key way to do that is to find a way to compromise, as my parents and I have done, compromising the best of both worlds, so to speak. We maintain the traditional respect in terms of allowing the parents to choose the mate, but also letting the son or daughter make the final decision and maintain a sense of their valued freedom.

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Article Contents

I. introduction, ii. misunderstanding the arranged marriage, iii. understanding arranged marriage, iv. conclusion and suggestions for further research.

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Understanding Arranged Marriage: An Unbiased Analysis of a Traditional Marital Institution

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Naema N Tahir, Understanding Arranged Marriage: An Unbiased Analysis of a Traditional Marital Institution, International Journal of Law, Policy and the Family , Volume 35, Issue 1, 2021, ebab005, https://doi.org/10.1093/lawfam/ebab005

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This research asks one simple question, a question many studies on the arranged marriage omit to ask, namely “What exactly is the arranged marriage?” Author Naema Tahir, born and bred in the arranged marriage culture, but educated in the free-choice marriage culture, argues that much literature on the arranged marriage fails to offer full exploration of this traditional marital system. Instead, the arranged marriage is often analysed through the lens of the modern free choice marriage system. However, this is not a neutral lens. It considers the free choice marriage to be the ideal. As a result, the arranged marriage is perceived to be a “marriage of shortcomings”, one that fails to meet the standards of the free-choice marriage system. The author encourages readers to break this frame and offers a neutral perspective on this traditional marital system practised by billions around the world. Readers are invited to an in-depth and rigorous analysis of the foundations upon which the arranged marriage system rests. While this analysis zooms in on the case study of one particular focus group, the British Pakistani diaspora, it reveals broad insights into the arranged marriage system in general. This analysis highlights and critically examines social principles fundamental to the arranged marriage system and which are much misunderstood, such as hierarchy, patriarchy, collectivism, group loyalty and the role of parental and individual marital consent. The author argues that it is vital to first understand the traditional structures of the arranged marriage, before one can understand modernizing tendencies the arranged marriage system is currently undergoing. As such, this study hugely contributes to an unbiased understanding of the arranged marriage and changing arranged marriage patterns and is a valuable reading for those interested in marriage, marital systems and the future thereof.

There is a tendency in academic literature to view the arranged marriage from the lens of the autonomous marriage. In this literature the arranged marriage is compared in a binary to the autonomous marriage. 1 While a comparison of the arranged marriage to the autonomous marriage should be an unbiased one, the contrary is true. From this binary, both marital systems are not viewed neutrally. The autonomous marriage, thriving on individual choice, is perceived to be the ideal marital system, while the arranged marriage, supported by traditional kin authority, is not considered ideal. Resulting from this, the autonomous marriage sets the standards of an ideal marriage all marriages must aim for, including the arranged marriage. The arranged marriage is then measured by characteristics typical of the autonomous marriage system. However, the arranged marriage, even in its most modern manifestation, is not an autonomous marriage. Monitoring the arranged marriage as if it were or should be autonomous, emphasizes defects, deficits, lacunas in the arranged marriage on matters related to autonomy. Measured this way, the arranged marriage turns into something faulty. It becomes a marriage of shortcomings.

There is a necessity to study the arranged marriage on its own terms and not in a binary with the autonomous marriage. 2 This will enable judging the arranged marriage on the qualities and rewards it holds for its practitioners. At its core, this article hopes to contribute to an understanding of the arranged marriage from an unbiased lens.

This article is set up in three sections.

Section II will investigate biased understandings of the arranged marriage in more detail, by critically evaluating the binary approach in scholarly literature, illustrated further by a study of a variety of categorizations and close interpretation of definitions on the arranged marriage. Section II argues that in scholarly literature, the arranged marriage is framed as a lesser version of the ideal of autonomous conjugal union.

Section III will aim to construct a Weberian ideal type 3 of the traditional arranged marriage as a useful tool that offers neutral, unbiased insights into general features all arranged marriage systems, to varying degrees, share. The arranged marriage will be understood as a guardianship invested marital system, which is organized in a hierarchical, aristocratic manner, upheld by parental authority, group orientation and belonging. This section will provide a conceptual, theoretical analysis of the arranged marriage by drawing on literature that intersects between tradition and modernity, by leading scholars in the field. 4 Through this analysis a marital system will surface which is embedded in a cultural inherited belief that the young must be relieved of mate-selection which is perceived, not so much as a harmless liberty with mere individual impact, but as a burden that the strongest shoulders in the community must be bear, and as a choice that has broad implications for the family, extended family, and community.

Section IV will conclude as to how knowledge on the arranged marriage proper, as an aristocratic guardianship system, can be applied to the varied practices of changing patterns in arranged marriages, that include the increasing involvement of the young in mate-selection and marriage making. This section will also offer suggestions for further research.

This article will focus on analyses of conjugal practices of British immigrant Pakistanis residing in the UK, the largest Pakistani diaspora in the world that strongly upholds the arranged marriage system. While narrowing down the focus to one culture, norm and values will surface that typically underlie the arranged marriage system in general.

For this article, the following working definition of arranged marriage will be employed: marriage for which the mate selection is under the guardianship and authority of elders of the (extended) families of both marital agents and that aligns the families in a durable relational bond that allows for a legitimate space and belonging for the conjugal union. 5 The following working definition will be employed of the autonomous marriage: marriage for which the mate selection is undertaken by the marital agents, who base their selection on subjective criteria with the aim to align the agents in a durable relational conjugal union. 6

1. Biased Binary Approach

The so-called binary approach in the study or representation of the arranged marriage is much criticized in literature. 7 This binary is considered ‘liberal individualist’ 8 or Eurocentric. 9 Set in a binary with the autonomous marriage, the arranged marriage is judged by the idealized standards of the autonomous marriage. That which is idealized is individual freedom and conjugal choice. Individualism is considered progressive, there is free choice and the freeing of individual potential. 10 The autonomous marriage elevates the individual who emancipated themselves and rose from the bonds of a history in which marriage choices were not left to solely the individuals. 11 Individuals assume that this transformation from ‘arranged marriages to love matches is progressive and “healthy” … the result should be happier marriages’. 12 Central to the autonomous marriage is the nuclear family, otherwise known as the conjugal or the atomistic family. 13 The dissolving of the extended family into the nuclear family is also seen as a marker of modernity and progress. 14 Modernity signifies improvement, including modernity in the way one marries. 15 Through modernization, arranged marriage will be replaced by self-chosen unions. 16 ‘[A]lthough Western ideas about the family are often opposed or resisted at first, many of these ideas are nevertheless adopted, often in modified forms, because the Western style family is so closely associated with development.’ 17 And while this theory may have its critics, 18 this article claims that it still holds ground as regards arranged marriage.

As suggested by the convergence theory and developmental paradigm, 19 the arranged marriage is held to the expectation that it will one day adapt to the Western ways, and advance into the autonomous marriage, as a sign of emancipation, of progress.

Until then, the arranged marriage appears lacking in those very features so particular of the autonomous marriage: free choice, individual energy, emphasis on the idiocentric conjugal union and the self-centred nuclear family. Literature magnifies those very features and puts the arranged marriage to the test: can it fulfil standards of full and free autonomy? Failing to do so turns the arranged marriage into something faulty. The arranged marriage culture is seen as ‘deficient’ and ‘deformed’. 20 It becomes the ‘other’. 21 ‘[T]he “Orient” is constructed and represented in the binary opposition against the Occident as the “Other”.’ 22 This binary distinction ‘[p]roblematically contributes to the discursive portrayal of arranged marriages as certainly less than and other to mainstream marriage practices’. 23

The social principles of individual freedom and autonomy are given much weight in perspectives on the arranged marriage. However, such principles are not neutral. They are ‘European values, assumptions, cultural codes’, are ‘culturally-determined and biased’, and offer ‘limited historical perspectives’, 24 providing a lens through which the arranged marriage is evaluated. There then, is a free-choice system at one end of the spectrum, a space that cannot be shared with the arranged marriage, for that is a parent-orchestrated endeavour and parents’ ‘subtle coercion has a tainting effect on the child's quality of choice’. 25 Thus emerges at the other end of the spectrum the not so free system called the arranged marriage.

Of course, the arranged marriage is certainly not considered a forced marriage in the studied literature—though media often equate the two. 26 However, literature on the arranged marriage frequently mentions forced unions and thus frequently connects arranged marriage to forced marriage. Besides, an overlap between arranged and forced marriage is often recognized and referred to as a ‘grey area’ with the potential of ‘slippage:’ the slightest increase of duress can lead the arranged marriage to ‘slip’ into a forced one. 27 The arranged marriage is always haunted by force.

The heightened attention to freedom and the lack thereof highlights consent, arguably the most important legal principle the arranged marriage is expected to prove. This consent must be full and free. 28 A recurring question in literature is whether arranged marriage supports full and free consent. 29 If consent is present, the union is considered an arranged marriage. Without consent the union is considered coerced. Consent separates arranged marriage from forced marriage. 30 This leads to a preoccupation in legal and policy discourse with the presence of consent and the absence of coercion in the arranged marriage. 31 The presence of consent and the absence of coercion determine the value of the arranged marriage. In essence, the arranged marriage is framed in yet another binary: that between consent versus coercion, a binary that is damaging and limiting. 32 The culture of the arranged marriage in itself becomes problematic. 33 This culture needs to prove constantly that there is no coercion involved. In addition, the binary is limiting in a different sense too. Consent, full and free is a human rights standard, 34 as well as a legal tool to declare the legitimacy of marriage as an uncoerced union. 35 Yet, consent as it operates in the law is given a ‘Western individualistic bent’. 36 As such, read in ‘plain language’ ‘only “free market” or choice marriages —a hallmark of Western societies—meet the “free and full” requirement because “there is nothing to prevent men and women from taking spouses which do not meet their families” approval’. 37

Arranged marriage contexts do not evolve around the freeing of individual energy. They are characterized by collective dynamisms with a particular ‘distribution of power and wider familial and community involvement’. 38 ‘The arranged marriage process, heavily reliant on parental and sometimes extended family input, fails to measure up to the requirements of free and full consent.’ 39 The attention given to full consent ignores that something given an individualistic bent is a strange bedfellow in a system that is not primarily or fully individualistic, nor aims to be. Consent is a universal principle which certainly has its place in the arranged marriage system. Yet, the language of consent in the discourse on arranged marriage is an expression of the ‘rational individual with free will’ 40 or the ‘free self’. 41 It is the language of an atomistic individual, of ‘an autonomous agent who is able to choose and act freely’. 42 This is not the language of a member deeply engrained in community belonging, duty, and purpose.

To reiterate, individual autonomy, including the right to consent, dictates the preoccupation in literature on arranged marriage. Notions such as agency, control, freedom to date, freedom to reject a selected candidate, negotiating power, the right of marital subjects to fall in love, choice and the freedom to self-select, receive profound consideration as a consequence.

In this regard, it is illustrative that arranged marriage is often categorized in types which reflect differing amounts of yet again this very notion of individual autonomy. There are three main types of categorization: traditional, semi-arranged, or love-arranged marriage types. 43 Arranged marriages earmarked as traditional are described as offering no or very little involvement by the young, 44 as if involvement or the lack thereof is the only feature of traditional arranged marriage. Semi-arranged or hybrid types, also known as joint-venture types, point to control shared by the elders and the young alike, 45 which again only emphasize this control as a shared element, as if nothing is of any relevance other than control . Finally, the love-arranged types are embodiments of near full individual control and individual love. 46 This categorization according to a ‘sliding scale of control’ 47 does not highlight what the arranged marriage in general is or what it offers, other than control, to those practising it. Some authors even reject ‘arranged’ as a word to describe this marital system, as this word suggests a lack of control. 48 Individual control has become a dominating feature by which arranged marriage is judged. But it is again agency and control towards more autonomy that academics are consumed with and not agency or autonomy towards more traditional features arranged marriage offers. Those are simply ignored or not sought for. Those remain irrelevant and underexamined.

There could only be one reason why social principles that are founded upon the philosophy of idiocentrism and the freeing of individual energy, are tirelessly sought in a system that thrives on allocentrism, group-belonging and honour for group loyalty. Arguably, the arranged marriage culture only seems to satisfy the Eurocentric mind if it contains the same recognizable ingredients as the autonomous marriage culture. And as it does not, the arranged marriage represents a lesser marital version than the prized autonomous marriage.

2. Biased Definitions of Arranged Marriage

The above bias is reflected in descriptions and definitions of the arranged marriage. Many descriptions or definitions only really offer information as to who selects the mate, eg ‘parent orchestrated alliances’, 49 or ‘marriages that are instigated by the family’, 50 or ‘arranged by family members or respected members in the religious or ethnic community’. 51 Other definitions view the arranged marriage from a biased Eurocentric appreciation. These definitions accentuate ‘individualizing tendencies’. 52

While there is nothing wrong with individuation and autonomy, especially if so desired by those involved in arranged marriages, 53 headlining these modern notions points to a Eurocentric domination as to how the arranged marriage ought to be valued. Simultaneously, such one-sided promotion undervalues notions that cannot be grouped under ‘individualizing tendencies’ and the freeing of individual energy.

A case in point are the following definitions. Arranged marriages are featured as those ‘in which the spouses are chosen for one another by third parties to the marriage such as parents or elder relatives’, 54 or ‘the partners to which are chosen by others , usually their parents’. 55 In these definitions elders are referred to as ‘third parties’ or ‘others’. These wordings seem innocent, yet they are not. They suggest that marital subjects are the ‘first parties’. This qualification is justified if marriage is perceived to be an alliance between individuals, which is the case in the autonomous marriage system. This qualification is not correct if marriage is seen as an alliance between (extended) families, which emerges in the arranged marriage system. 56 ‘ First ’ parties suggests a hierarchy above ‘ third ’ parties, which is not an attribute of the arranged marriage system where singular members of the group, in this case the marital agents, are not valued above the elders or generally above one’s group. Similarly, mentioning that ‘parents rather than. spouses’ or ‘two families rather than individuals’ 57 contract a marriage is again pointing to a Eurocentric preference for self-selection.

Other definitions amplify attention to the individual more explicitly. For example in the definition ‘marriage arranged by the families of the individuals’, 58 the individual is seen as a separate entity, while, as we shall learn in Section III, a ‘tradition directed person … hardly thinks of himself as an individual’. 59 Indeed, ‘[t]he ideology that underpins a South Asian “arranged” marriage is that obligations to one’s immediate and more extended family have priority over personal self-interest’. 60 Ignoring this, is judging the arranged marriage from a ‘Western individualistic bent’. 61 In the same vein, many definitions contain the words ‘control’, ‘agency’ ‘choice,’ which all emphasize individual autonomy as the standard and which in effect draw attention to arranged marriage as primarily a space where marital agents negotiate increasing amounts of individual control. Other definitions refer to this ‘control’ highlighting dominion and power, suggesting that the arranged marriage is a battlefield between the elders and the young: ‘Traditional arranged marriage placed considerable power in the hands of the parents, and in particularly the father’. 62 Or, ‘In “traditional” societies, parents or the extended family dominate marriage choices’. 63 The power difference referred to suggests there are two parties with opposing aims and interests, which again is not an insightful reflection of unified interests so characteristic of group cultures. Also, culture here is presented as merely problematic: a father’s or parent’s role is that of power or domination, with negative connotations, and not much else.

A third set of definitions emphasizes the changing and flexible arranged marriage types, especially towards offering more control to the individual. It seems as if the arranged marriage is trying to prove that it is very capable of accommodating modernity and is progressive and evolving, for it has choice, agency, room for dating and romance, or the right of marital agents to say ‘no’ at any stage of the arrangement. This latter is illustrated well by Ahmad’s words referring to marriage as a dynamic process: ‘a family-facilitated introduction of a potentially suitable matched prospective candidate followed by a managed pattern of courtship prior to a potential, and agreed to marriage’. 64 Her words seem to suggest that the only acceptable arranged marriage is a progressive arranged marriage, one that resembles the autonomous marriage.

Love too, when mentioned, generally suggests lovelessness in arranged marriage as opposed to true love in autonomous marriage. 65 Arranged marriages are contrasted to marriage where there is romantic love 66 or to ‘love marriages’ based on romantic attachment between the couple’. 67 Arranged marriages when ‘a couple validates its love choice to their respective families’ 68 would be termed love-arranged or western type marriages. One commonly held view is that love will (hopefully) grow in arranged marriage as time passes. 69 Reference to ‘marriage, then love’, 70 supports this theory. Or when ‘love is not forthcoming’ the couple ‘are increasingly supported to divorce … ’. 71 In these examples it is yet again the love between the spouses, primarily romantic, sensual love, or individual affection that is stressed, which again celebrates the love so typical in the autonomous marriage system. 72

Families that are not conjugal have valued ‘not affection, but duty, obligation, honour, mutual aid, and protection … ’. 73 Such love for family or culture or any type of gift-love 74 are hardly mentioned in descriptions of arranged marriage. Even when ‘companionate’ love features, the focus remains on the spouse’s companionship for one another, and not for any(thing) other. Arguably the Eurocentric perspective holds little regard for other loves than the romantic.

3. Evaluation of Biased Science on the Arranged Marriage

The manner in which the arranged marriage is described in the literature studied is a marker of recognizing the arranged marriage as worthwhile only in so far it mirrors the characteristics of the autonomous marriage system. The words employed to describe the arranged marriage reflect autonomy-related values, but exclude community-related values that are foundational to the arranged marriage system. The arranged marriage is thus undervalued for the fundamental characteristics upon which it rests. These are ignored, not understood, arguably misunderstood, if at all known. Set against the autonomous marriage, the arranged marriage then becomes the other, deficient, deformed, a marriage of shortcomings, a marriage lacking in freedom and a marriage that is catching up and trying to prove it is not as traditional, thus not so backwards or rigid as analysts of the arranged marriage suggest.

The arranged marriage proper then remains a much understudied marital system and can only be understood by abandoning the binary approach and adopting a neutral lens. One needs ‘to turn the picture round’ as Tocqueville puts, in his eloquent study of aristocratic systems. 75 Such an aristocratic system is the arranged marriage, as we shall learn below.

As mentioned before, arranged marriages are frequently categorized in types, varying from traditional to hybrid to loosely arranged modern versions. They are frequently studied individually, through empirical research which offers a rich, complex, and varied analysis of arranged marriage practices, in diaspora communities, transnational communities as well as in communities and cultures around the world that are globalizing and are in transition. Yet, while all arranged marriages are arguably different, all do share a basic set of similarities. This section aims to bring these to the surface, drawing on sociology, so as to arrive at an ideal type of the arranged marriage.

The arranged marriage as an ideal type is a theoretical construct. 76 The ideal type emphasizes typical features of the arranged marriage, which all concrete individual arranged marriages share with one another and which are presented ‘into a unified analytical construct’. 77 As such the ideal type, ‘in its conceptual purity … cannot be found empirically anywhere in reality’. 78 ‘It is a utopia’. 79 Yet, it is a necessary tool to bring to the surface a neutral, unbiased understanding of the arranged marriage. It is also a ‘measuring rod’ 80 to measure the reality of cultural differences or change the arranged marriage system is constantly undergoing. 81

Before I proceed, it is vital to address academic opposition against the essentialization of the arranged marriage system. This essentialization is criticized as it captures the arranged marriage in a binary opposition with the autonomous marriage, idealizing the autonomous marriage and ‘othering’ the arranged marriage. This essentialization exaggerates cultural difference. 82 It portrays the arranged marriage as a rigid, static, unchanging, unnuanced system. 83 It ‘assumes the complete hold over the migrant of traditional gender and family norms by underscoring the foreignness of … arranged marriages’. 84 Authors opposing this essentialization are quick to point out that the arranged marriage is a dynamic and highly flexible system, that is able to accommodate change, modernization, individualizing tendencies, agency, romantic love and negotiating spaces, in which especially women assume more control in their endeavours to navigate around victimization by patriarchy. 85

What these scholars are in actual fact doing, unknowingly, is trying to exhibit to the Eurocentric mind evidence that the arranged marriage resembles the autonomous marriage. These authors demonstrate that the arranged marriage is very capable of upholding choice, agency, and control. These authors preoccupy themselves with bringing those qualities in the arranged marriage to the surface of their research. Sequentially, traditional features of this marital system remain understudied.

This section will not essentialize the arranged marriage system from a Eurocentric viewpoint for it desires not to repeat the othering of the arranged marriage. It will not try to prove that the arranged marriage is a flexible modern institution able to accommodate a constant flux of variety and diversity. As valuable as an investigation of that change may be, one cannot study the arranged marriage by studying how it absorbs constant flux. ‘[W]eber defines reality as an “infinite flux” which cannot be apprehended in its totality’. 86 One cannot apprehend arranged marriage on its fundamental shared characteristics if only the constant flux and change towards autonomy dominate academic engagement.

Despite being diverse and different on individual level, there are common qualities that make a marriage an arranged marriage and thus a largely unexamined ideal type of the arranged marriage will be examined in Section III of this article. The rich diversity between cultures, countries, social and economic classes, between religions and religious denominations, between those that have migrated and those that have not, as well as the constant evolution of the arranged marriage, will be left to the efforts of other scholars. 87

At its core, all arranged marriage cultures have marriage arrangers, whether these arrangers operate on their own or co-jointly with the marital agents. All marriage arrangers are senior members of the family or community, whether these arrangers operate on their own or co-jointly with the marital agents. All arranged marriage cultures value marriage to be arranged by these senior marriage arrangers, whether these arrangers operate on their own or co-jointly with the marital agents. All arranged marriage cultures consider mate selection to be not primarily the responsibility of the marital agents, whether they share this responsibility substantially or subtly with the marital agents. All arranged marriage cultures consider mate-selection physically and mentally risky, shameful and burdensome for the young to be engaged in, whether the young engage themselves in such matters or not. Family is placed central to marriage in all arranged marriage cultures, as they all consider marriage an alliance between families, whether or not the marital agents emphasize their conjugal alliance above that of the family’s. All arranged marriages guard against an incoming candidate harming family unity or family interests. Objective reasons for marrying are always valued as these support aforementioned family unity and interests, regardless of whether there is room for individual desire and preference. Finally, all arranged marriages are voluntarily accepted by marital agents on the basis of legitimate parental guidance and authority.

As such, all arranged marriage cultures are hierarchical cultures, as they accord different roles and responsibilities to the elders and to the younger ones of a group; they are group cultures that strongly incorporate its members through loyalty to the group and its interests; they are all driven by parental guardianship and authority, rooted in protection, providence and voluntary compliance. These principles of community, hierarchy, guardianship and authority are foundational to the ‘way of life’ 88 of the arranged marriage system, and will be explained below.

1. Arranged Marriage is a Community Oriented System

Literature frequently makes reference to arranged marriage cultures as collectivist, community oriented, occurring in extended families, whether there is individualism or not. 89 Marriage concerns the whole family and families are characteristically extended with extended kinship ties. 90 Marriage choices ‘have a far-reaching impact upon … relatives, affecting the futures and socio-economic positions of a much wider range of kin than just parents and children’. 91 Beyond the conjugal alliance, marriage creates alliances between a variety of family-members. 92 ‘Strategic marriage choices enable social mobility even within the extended kinship network.’ 93 Fox argues that arranged marriage preserves family unity, ‘by felicitous selection of the new spouse’ which ‘allows for the furtherance of political linkages and/or economic consolidation between families … it helps keep families intact over generations; and … it preserves family property within the larger kin unit’. 94 Objective selection criteria are emblematic of the families’ desire to preserve a stable family. ‘Parents usually assess the reputation, economic standing and personalities of the potential in-laws and the educational level and occupation of the potential groom or bride.’ 95 The strong emphasis on pragmatic, unromantic reasons that guide mate-selection are considered wise: the new conjugal addition must suit family background and thus fit harmoniously into its organization. 96 As such, extended families remain strong in the social order. Less attention is paid therefore to subjective love. One learns that spousal love may come as martial time goes by. 97 This need not be romantic, it may as well be love in a ‘more all-encompassing sense’. 98 Typical of group cultures is that ‘[i]ndividual choice … may be constricted either through requiring that a person be bound by group decisions or by demanding that individuals follow the rules accompanying their station in life’. 99 The individual is ‘sacrificed’. 100 ‘The tradition-directed person … hardly thinks of himself as an individual.’ 101 He is a ‘collective being’ not a ‘particular being’. 102 But such sacrifice ‘is more than offset by the advantages of fulfilling one’s role within the family … ’. 103

2. Arranged Marriage is a Hierarchical System

The mere fact that marriage arranging requires some element of wisdom, experience and providence, suggests hierarchy. Not everyone is suited to make marriage choices, certainly not young children and this applies to all cultures, whether autonomous or arranged. In the latter culture, arranging marriages is a responsibility bestowed upon elders, mostly parents of the marital agents. 104 Elders, given their status and rank, are considered most able, equipped, wise and well connected to undertake the grave and delicate task of mate selection. It is their proper place to screen and select mates and it is the proper place of the young to trust and respect the judgment of the elders in this regard. Pande points to a case of a young woman called Shabnam appreciating this ‘proper place’ as she would never directly go up to her parents with her marriage wishes as ‘parents deserve their izzat ’ 105 (respect NT). And while elders are given the privilege of mate selection, they do not and may not select for their own benefit, but in the best interests and the good of the group, 106 into which are incorporated the interests and the good of the marital agents. 107

Arranged marriage cultures are thus hierarchical. 108 To understand arranged marriage, is to understand hierarchy. Yet, the social principle of hierarchy does not sit well with the Western mind. 109 The western mind views society from the lens of equality and freedom and hierarchical systems lack equality and freedom. Thus arranged marriage is rejected: it is a space where parents have the ‘power’ and upper hand and ‘dominate’ in marriage choices. 110 Arranged marriage becomes nothing more than a ‘chain of command’ 111 or a ‘power hierarchy’. 112 However, as Dumont argues, this is not true hierarchy. 113 To understand hierarchy one must ‘detach … from egalitarian societies’. 114 One must view hierarchical systems on its own merits, in an organic manner. 115

‘[H]ierarchy. comes from the very functional requirements of the social bond.’ 116 Literature offers the organism, a whole or the body as a metaphor to understand hierarchical systems. 117 Hierarchy is ‘the principle by which the elements of a whole are ranked in relation to the whole’. 118 The whole body and its parts are strongly bound together by rules, 119 social control, 120 and a common value system. 121 One accepts as necessary the rank order and the fulfilment of distinct obligations—without this the whole cannot function as it is supposed to function. 122 Decisions are taken by the most able in the interests of the whole and its parts. 123 The most able are the guardians and guardianship and hierarchy are strongly intertwined. 124

Families in arranged marriage cultures are organized hierarchically, with each member aware of its own and other’s status and social ranking, 125 with each member submitting to ‘group control’ and fulfilling ‘socially imposed roles’, 126 with each member keeping in one’s proper place, honouring order, 127 and subject to a ‘hierarchized interdependence’. 128 It is deeply understood that elders arrange marriages—it is their obligation to find matches from good families, and to exercise control as to who joins the family. 129 This applies whether or not they share this task with the marital agents. ‘From the viewpoint of many parents, arranging and seeing through your children’s marriages is a primary duty, to the extent that your role as a parent is unfulfilled until this duty is accomplished.’ 130 It is ‘a matter of great family honour.’ 131 It is a necessity too as ‘marriage normally confers the statuses of wife and husband, which have been and still are regarded in many societies as necessary to being seen as an adult rather than as a child’. 132 It is only through marriage that intimate life with a stranger turned into family is legitimate. So, the young depend on the patronage of the elders. 133 Amber, a twenty-four year old student ‘sought her parent’s intervention stating it was their ‘responsibility’. 134 Elders are not to abandon this role, nor to share it with the less qualified. They too are answerable to tradition and community. 135 But they are bound also, as good guardians and figures of authority, to choose wisely and in the best interest of the child. 136 Below a further exploration will be provided on guardianship, which is ‘a standard justification for hierarchical rule’ 137 and authority which too manifests itself through hierarchical relations. 138

3. Arranged Marriage is a System of Guardianship and Parental Authority

Arranged marriage cultures thrive on authority and entrusted leadership of guardians. Though literature never does, one could call arranged marriage a rule of guardians 139 or of parental authority or an aristocratic marital system. 140 In such a system ‘rulership should be entrusted to a minority of persons who are specially qualified to govern by reason of their superior knowledge and virtue’. 141 The entrusted uphold community values, such as ‘altruism, sacrifice, love … order, security, loyalty, duty’. 142 They govern as guardians, as figures of authority. 143 Traditionally, elders are the entrusted ones. 144 And the young honour their authority. 145 The arranged marriage of Manju and Jagdesh, both from Indian middle class families, offers a good example of these notions. 146 Manju, twenty-one years old at the time and Jagdesh, twenty three, were ‘both told that they would be a good match and should marry’ and soon after their agreement, the marriage took place. 147 Or the case of Saima, a 20-year old student who says that ‘my parents will obviously find the guy for me … I trust them for it … If they come out with a decent guy and say we’d like you to marry him, I’d say yes … ’. 148 In both examples parental authority occupies a central role in match making.

A. But what exactly is authority?

‘The need for authority is basic. Children need authorities to guide and reassure them. Adults fulfil an essential part of themselves in being authorities; it is one way of expressing care for others.’ 151

‘Deeply embedded in social functions, an inalienable part of the inner order of family … ritualized at every turn, authority is so closely woven into the fabric of tradition and morality … ’. 162 As such, traditional authority is embedded in arranged marriage cultures. It ‘roots in the belief that it is ancient’. 163 In arranged marriage cultures traditionally there is trust in parental leadership. 164 One is assured that parents know what is best for their child, as they know their child, sometimes even better than the child knows itself—they see through them. 165 This inspires obedience. 166

Parental authority is a necessary component in arranged marriage systems. Marriage affects a whole family’s stability and future, so marriage choices need to be supervised. 167 The young, inexperienced and not yet wise, are traditionally not considered well trained for this task, as they may be misguided by love. 168 So, arranged marriage societies isolate the young from potential mates. 169 In addition, social control, typical for group cultures, is applied to guard behaviour. 170 Young people can easily fall prey to romantic and sexual behaviour considered disruptive to the dignity and order of the family. 171 Here then arises the necessity for elders to authorize rational mate selection. 172 Of course, this does not exclude that young people may step out of their role. If they do, shame and dishonour may be brought to the family. 173 Such youngsters are considered deviants who must be blamed, heavily punished or re-educated. 174 As such being nourished by parental authority offers security, 175 and enables moral life. 176

4. Studying Arranged Marriage Practices

The idealized typology of the arranged marriage, as a Weberian theoretical construct, demonstrates that, at the outset, arranged marriage systems are traditionally systems of community, hierarchy, guardianship, and authority. So described, the arranged marriage finds its rationality in a system that safeguards mate selection by placing this under the guardianship and authority of elders of the (extended) families of both marital agents with the aim to align both families in a durable relational bond, that strengthens its economic and societal standing, and that allows for a legitimate space and belonging for the conjugal union.

This typology is an ideal construct, in the same way the autonomous marriage is also an ideal construct. Borrowing then from William Goode who arrived at an ideal type of the conjugal family, which was also seen as an ideal , the arranged marriage as typified above is also seen as an ideal in that a ‘number of people view some of its characteristics as proper and legitimate, no matter that reality may run counter to the ideal’. 177 Elders in arranged marriage contexts all around the world consider it an ideal to take upon themselves the role of proper guardians and authorities in marriage arranging, and children, in their turn, ideally accept the parental choice, understanding that this is wisely made, that it gains its majesty in legitimate authority. All around the world, this ideal is an inspirational reference point in arranged marriage cultures.

This said, of course reality does not always represent the ideal portrayed, however inspirational. Still, the value of the ideal and the ideal type remain: this construct, even if it is an utopia, is necessary as it provides a neutral and unbiased understanding of the arranged marriage, one that is detached from a restrictive binary approach that others the arranged marriage. The ideal construct serves also as a measuring rod to study the reality of arranged marriage practices that depart from that construct. It ‘[p]rovides the basic method of comparative study’. 178

Taking a look then into these realities, one will find that, for one, elders are not always capable of arranging marriages well. ‘The notion that parents will always act in the child’s best interests is … based on an idealized interpretation of the parent/child relationship and assumes that adults will be altruistic whenever they relate to children with love, care and empathy.’ 179 Elders may not always understand what guardianship truly entails. They may confuse parental authority with the exercise of parental power, force even.

In addition, elders continuously share marriage arranging duties with their children, as the variety of semi-arranged marriage types suggest. These hybrid arranged marriage types are expressions of transformations of marital agents’ role in exercising self-determination and self-realization in marriage matters. They also reflect the changes in traditional parenthood: where once it was the elders who decided for the collective, this is now scrutinized by marital agents’ desires for freedom to (also) decide. In the words of Aguiar ‘arranged marriage has become the locus of a set of liberal and communitarian discourses that articulate competing visions of individual and collective agency’. 180 This does not always run smoothly. Elders may not always believe that transitions towards freedom and individualism are proper. Families often act as buffers against ‘too much’ individualism that is perceived as an isolating and alienating force that disrupts family cohesion and hinders traditions to be passed on from generation to generation. Many, in arranged marriage cultures, parents as well as young people, are grappling with the blended agendas of the liberal and communitarian, of the individual and the collective that are shaping arranged marriage realities. A very sensitive portrayal of an intergenerational struggle in this regard can be seen in the drama film A Fond Kiss : protagonist Casim, son of Pakistani Muslim immigrants to the UK, asks his parents to accept his love choice for Roisin, a Catholic divorcee. In their turn, his parents, emotionally destroyed and shamed by Casim’s desires, plead to their son to accept an arranged marriage to his cousin Yasmin. This Casim refuses and the family breaks up. 181

As indicated earlier, the tendency is to view such realities from a Eurocentric lens, that prizes liberalism and equality, and that advocates the individual’s rise from traditional structures as a marker of sovereignty, supported by contract, geared towards independence and freedom from authority. 182

Again, such views monopolize examination of arranged marriage, are biased, ‘culturally-determined’ and entrenched in ‘limited historical perspectives’. 183 ‘Many people in this world have registers of well-being that are not the same as degrees of freedom, measures such as duty, devotion and responsibility.’ 184 Many people do not value, experience, nor desire full independence from parental authority.

Hybrid arranged marriages are in a sense partly separated from and partly belonging to traditional as well as liberal structures. It is vital to represent and express belonging to these traditional structures in the discourse on arranged marriage. It is important to acknowledge notions of guardianship, authority, and community when one measures change and modernization in arranged marriage realities, but also when one measures distancing from that very modernization in efforts to hold on to traditions.

The current tendency, when marital agents demand a stronger role in mate selection, is to capture this in a language of freedoms, control, agency and the rising individual. This language presupposes that marital agents’ main aim is to free oneself, become independent and ultimately exit the arranged marriage system. 185 It presupposes too that marital agents are very capable of acting independently of their parents. The fact of the matter is, that many marital agents are deeply connected to a system of parental guardianship and authority, they are hierarchically interdependent with family, they cherish strong belonging to their community and understand family cohesion as a necessary component of their family’s well-being in which their well-being is integrated. Marital agents granted or demanding a role in match making, challenge in essence (part of) the authority of parents, but do not act as fully atomistic units. When parents allow their child to jointly decide with them on marriage matters, this is articulated in literature mostly as a step that invests power in the child. However, this ought to also be valued as a sharing of parental authority or guardianship with the child. Adding authority and guardianship to the conversation on the arranged marriage gives rise to a language that relates to and represents community. For instance, why do some parents share their authority, why do others not? It might be possible that some parents deem their children disciplined enough to select wisely, pointing to the principle that ‘discipline is authority in operation?’ 186 It might be that some parents believe that their children can act as their own guardians, partly or in full, given that these children are educated and skilled in ways the elders are not? Might it be that in diaspora contexts elders are searching for new meaning to traditional concepts such as authority and guardianship and need a language to cope with this hybrid dynamic rather than a language that calls upon their children to exit anything traditional? Asking and addressing such questions will contribute to a discourse on arranged marriage that respects the very foundations it is built upon. It is knowledge about these foundations that is pivotal if we wish to understand the arranged marriage proper and change in that domain.

This article argued for a full renunciation of the binary approach adopted in literature in studying arranged marriage. In the binary approach, the arranged marriage emerges as a lesser conjugal union in comparison to the ideal and prized autonomous conjugal union. Recognizing that the arranged marriage must be valued on its own merits, this article sought for an ideal typical construct of the arranged marriage, as a neutral departure point in a study of this marital system and as a tool to explore arranged marriage realities. The arranged marriage is fundamentally rooted in the sociological principles of collective belonging, parental guardianship and the protective, provident authority of elders in match making. This article calls for a fresh discourse on arranged marriage and changing arranged marriage patterns that reflect these principles in order to arrive at a much needed and understudied fuller appreciation and conversation of a marital system that engages hundreds of millions.

In order to be as impartial as humanly possible, this article does not offer personal opinions on or preferences for the arranged or the autonomous marriage. It is of fundamental importance that any scholar on the arranged marriage system (and many other subjects for that matter) is an unbiased scholar or at least strives to be. Neither advocacy of nor opposition to the arranged marriage, and neither advocacy of nor opposition to the autonomous marriage should enter a scholar’s theories and findings. A scholar’s role is not to express any preference for either system, it is not to value one system as better than the other, it is to become independent from any prejudice of one over the other

This article is based on, The Arranged Marriage – Changing Perspectives on a Marital Institution (Unpublished Dissertation Utrecht University) Utrecht, 2019.

Authors referring to this binary are eg F. Shariff, ‘Towards a Transformative Paradigm in the UK Response to Forced Marriages’ (2012) 21 (4) Social and Legal Studies 549–65; M. Aguiar, Arranging Marriage, Conjugal Agency in The South Asian Diaspora (Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 2018); R. Pande, ‘Geographies of Marriage and Migration: Arranged Marriages and South Asians in Britain’ (2014) 8 (2) Geography Compass 75–86; S. Anitha and A. Gill, ‘Coercion, Consent and the Forced Marriage Debate in the UK’ (2009) 17 Feminist Legal Studies 165–84; M. Khandelwal, ‘Arranging Love: Interrogating the Vantage Point in Cross-Border Feminism’ (2009) 34 (3) Signs 583–609; F. Ahmad, ‘Graduating Towards Marriage? Attitudes Towards Marriage and Relationships among University-educated British Muslim Women’ (2012) 13 Culture and Religion 193–210.

M. Weber, Gesammelte Aufsätze zur Wissenschafslehre (Tübingen: J.C.B. Mohr, 1988) p. 191.

Notably, H. Arendt, Between Past and Future (New York: Penguin Books, 1977); M. Douglas, ‘Cultural Bias’ in M. Douglas (ed.), The Active Voice (London: Routledge and Kegan Paul, 1982), as referred to by Thompson et al., Cultural Theory (Boulder, San Francisco: Westview Press, 1990); Thompson et al. ibid; M. Douglas, Risk and Blame (London, New York: Routledge, 1992); R.A. Dahl, Democracy and its Critics (New Have: Yale University, 1989); L. Dumont, Homo Hierarchicus (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1980); R.A. Nisbet, The Quest for Community (California: ICS Press, 1990); R.A. Nisbet, The Sociological Tradition (London: Heinemann Educational Books Ltd, 1966); R. Sennett, Authority (New York: W.W. Norton, 1980).

For origins of the term ‘arranged marriage’ see Aguiar (n 1) 14.

‘Autonomous marriage’ is used in I.L. Reiss, Family Systems in America (New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1976) as referred to by G.R. Lee and L. Hemphill Stone, ‘Mate-Selection Systems and Criteria: Variation according to Family Structure’ (1980) 42 (2) Journal of Marriage and Family 319–26, 319.

Anitha and Gill (n 1); Shariff (n 1); Aguiar (n 1); Pande (n 1); Khandelwal (n 1).

Shariff (n 1) 556, on binary between consent and coercion.

Compare Ahmad (n 1) 194; see also Pande (n 1) 82; see also Aguiar (n 1) 14.

Nisbet 1990 (n 4) pp. 3–4; A.J. Cherlin, ‘Goode's “World Revolution and Family Patterns”: A Reconsideration at Fifty Years’ (2012) 38 (4) Population and Development Review 577–607, 580, 581; see for progress towards the atomistic family C.C. Zimmerman, Family and Civilization (Wilmington Delaware: ISI Books, 2008) pp. 124, 247–49; in general on progress see J.B. Bury, The Idea of Progress (New York: Cosimo Classics, 2008); R.A. Nisbet, History of the Idea of Progress (New York: Basic Book, Inc. Publishers, 1980); see also Arendt (n 4) 100, 101 on progress theory.

See S. Coontz, Marriage, a History, How Love Conquered Marriage (New York: Penguin Group, 2005) p. 25; See for more on this evolution J. Witte Jr., From Sacrament to Contract , Marriage, Religion, and Law in the Western Tradition (Kentucky: Westminster John Knox Press, 1997) pp. 194–215.

X. Xiaohe and M. King Whyte, ‘Love Matches and Arranged Marriages: A Chinese Replication’ (1990) 52 (3) Journal of Marriage and the Family 709–22, 709.

See for these terms W.J. Goode, World Revolution and Family Patterns (New York: The Macmillan Company, 1970) p. 1, and Zimmerman (n 10) pp. 30–36.

A. Thornton, Reading History Sideways: The Fallacy and the Enduring Impact of the Developmental Paradigm on Family Life (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2005), as referred to by Cherlin (n 10) 581; see also, K. Allendorf and R.K. Pandian, ‘The Decline of Arranged Marriage? Marital Change and Continuity in India’ (2016) 42 (3) Population and Development Review 435–464, 435.

Cherlin (n 10) 581.

Allendorf and Pandian (n 14) 435.

Thornton (n 14), as referred to by Cherlin (n 10) 593.

Cherlin (n 10) 594.

On the ‘convergence theory’, see Goode (n 13) and Cherlin (n 10); on ‘developmental paradigm’ see Thorntan (n 14) as referred to by Cherlin (n 10) 581; see also A. Shaw, A Pakistani Community in Britain (Oxford: Basil Blackwell, 1988) pp. 2, 3 on the expected disappearance of Pakistani migrants’ culture.

M. Enright, ‘Choice, Culture and the Politics of Belonging: The Emerging Law of Forced and Arranged Marriage’ (2009) 72 (3) The Modern Law Review 331–59, 338.

R. Pande, ‘Becoming Modern: British-Indian Discourses of Arranged Marriages’ (2016) 17 (3) Social & Cultural Geography 380–400, 384; see on consequence of ‘othering’ of migrants, Pande (n 1) 75; Shariff (n 1) 562.

E. Said, Orientalism (New York: Penguin, 1978) as referred to by S.R. Moosavinia et al, ‘Edward Said’s Orientalism and the Study of the Self and the Other in Orwell’s Burmese Days’ (2011) 2 (1) Studies in Literature and Language 103–13, 104.

Pande (n 21) 384.

Moosavinia et al, (n 22) 104; Said (n 22).

P.J. Gagoomal, ‘A “Margin of Appreciation” for “Marriages of Appreciation”: Reconciling South Asian Adult Arranged Marriages with the Matrimonial Consent Requirement in International Human Rights Law’ (2009) 97 The Georgetown Law Journal 589–620, 601; compare Shariff (n 1) 557.

E.g.: ‘I fled in just the clothes I was wearing’: How one Muslim woman escaped arranged marriage, Mirror , 17 September 2012; L. Harding, ‘Student Saved from Arranged Marriage’, The Guardian , 14 March 2000, as referred to by R. Penn, ‘Arranged Marriages in Western Europe: Media Representations and Social Reality’ (2011) 42 (5) Journal of Comparative Family Studies 637–50, 639, for more examples, see 639–41; see also Aguiar (n 1) 11, 12.

Enright (n 20) 332; Shariff (n 1) 557; Anitha and Gill (n 1) 171; G. Gangoli et al, Forced Marriage and Domestic Violence among South Asian Communities in North East England (Bristol: University of Bristol, Northern Rock Foundation, 2006), as referred to by Anitha and Gill (n 1) 167.

Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR), G.A. Res. 217A, (III), U.N. Doc A/810, 10 December 1948, Article 16 (2); International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR), GA. Res. 2200A (XXI), 16 December 1966, Article 23 (3); International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights (ICESCR), G.A. Res. 2200A (XXI), 16 December 1966, Article 10 (1).

Aguiar (n 1) 11–13, see also Anitha and Gill (n 1); Shariff (n 1).

Aguiar (n 1) 11, 67.

Anitha and Gill (n 1); Aguiar (n 1) 67.

Anitha and Gill (n 1); Aguiar (n 1) 13, 14; Shariff (n 1).

Enright (n 20) 338.

UDHR (n 28); ICCPR (n 28); ICESCR (n 28).

Aguiar (n 1) 13.

Gagoomal (n 25) 611.

R.W. Hodge and N. Ogawa, ‘Arranged Marriages, Assortative Mating and Achievement in Japan,’ in Nihon University Population Research Institute, Research Paper, Series No. 1986, as referred to by Gagoomal (n 25) 601.

Shariff (n 1) 562; see also Anitha and Gill.

Shariff (n 1) 557.

Aguiar (n 1) 67; see also Anitha and Gill (n 1) 171.

Anitha and Gill (n 1) 171.

Anitha and Gill (n 1) 171; see also Thompson et al, (n 4) 7 on the ‘individualistic social context’.

See for a slightly different categorization R.B. Qureshi, ‘Marriage Strategies among Muslims from South Asia’ 1991 10 (3) The American Journal of Islamic Social Sciences , as referred to by A.U. Zaidi and M. Shuraydi, ‘Perceptions of Arranged Marriages by Young Pakistani Muslim Women Living in a Western Society’ 2002 33 (4) Journal of Comparative Family Studies 495–514, 496.

Qureshi (n 43) as referred to by Zaidi and Shuraydi (n 43) 496; Gagoomal (n 25) 592; Cherlin (n 10) 589; see also for modified traditional types, Shariff (n 1) 558; H. Siddiqui, ‘Review: Winning Freedoms’ (1991) 37 Feminist Review 78, 81, as referred to by Enright (n 20) 340, ft 45; see also R. Pande, ‘I Arranged my Own Marriage': Arranged Marriages and Post-colonial Feminism’ (2015) 22 (2) Gender, Place & Culture 172–87, 175; S.P. Wakil et al, ‘Between Two Cultures: A Study in Socialization of Children of Immigrants’ (1981) 43 (4) Journal of Marriage and Family 929–40, 935; see also Ahmad (n 1).

Qureshi (n 43), as referred to by Zaidi and Shuraydi (n 43) 496; S.A. Patel, An Exploratory Study of Arranged-Love Marriage in Couples From Collective Cultures (Dissertation Northern Illinois University, Ann Arbor: ProQuest LLC) 2016, 10; J. Kapur, ‘An Arranged Love Marriage: India’s Neoliberal turn and the Bollywood Wedding Culture Industry’ (2009) 2 Communication, Culture, and Critique 221–33, as referred to by Patel 10; Cherlin (n 10) 590; Shariff (n 1) 558.

Shariff (n 1) 558; S. Seymour, Women, Family, and Child Care in India: A World in Transition (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1999) p. 212, as referred to by Kandelwal (n 1) 595; K. Kezuka, ‘Late Marriage and Transition from Arranged Marriages to Love Matches: A Search-theoretic Approach’ 2018 42 (2) The Journal of Mathematical Sociology 237–56, 237; N.D. Manglos-Weber and A.A. Weinreb, ‘Own-Choice Marriage and Fertility in Turkey’ (2017) 79 (2) Journal of Marriage and Family 372–89, 373; Pande (n 21) 389.

Shariff (n 1) 558, who refers to M. Stopes-Roe and R. Cochrane, Citizens of this Country: The Asian-British (Clevedon: Multilingual Matters, 1990).

Ahmad (n 1) 195, 200; M.J. Bhatti, Questioning Empowerment: Pakistani Women, Higher Education & Marriage (Dissertation University at Buffalo, State University of New York, 2013) 153.

R. Huch, ‘Romantic Marriage’, in H. Keyserling ed., The Book of Marriage: A New Interpretation by Twenty-four Leaders of Contemporary thought (New York: Harcourt, Brace & Company, 1926) pp. 168, 177, as referred to by Gagoomal (n 25) 607/n 112.

S. Davé, ‘Matchmakers and Cultural Compatibility: Arranged Marriage, South Asians, and American television’ (2012) 10 (2) South Asian Popular Culture 167–83, 168.

F.B. Ternikar, Revisioning the Ethnic Family: An Analysis of Marriage Patterns Among Hindu, Muslim, and Christian South Asian Immigrants (Dissertation, Chicago, Illinois, August 2004) 41.

Ahmad (n 1) 206, see also 207.

See among others Ahmad (n 1) and Aguiar (n 1).

Enright (n 20) 331, italics added.

Pande (n 21) 384, italics added, referring to the Oxford English Dictionary.

K. Charsley and A. Shaw, ‘South Asian Transnational Marriages in Comparative Perspective’ (2006) 6 (4) Global Networks 331–44, 335; Zaidi and Shuraydi (n 43) 496.

Zaidi and Shuraydi (n 43) 496; see also Penn (n 26) 637.

Zaidi and Shuraydi (n 43), 496 (italics omitted).

D. Riesman et al, The Lonely Crowd: A Study of the American Changing Character (New Haven: Yale University Press, 1961) p. 17.

A. Shaw, ‘Kinship, Cultural Preference and Immigration: Consanguineous Marriage Among British Pakistanis’ (2001) 7 (2) Royal Anthropological Institute 315–34, 323.

G.W. Jones, Changing Marriage Patterns in Asia (Working Paper, Asia Research Institute, Series 131, 2010) 4.

P. Wood, ‘Marriage and Social Boundaries among British Pakistanis’ (2011) 20 (1) Diaspora 40–64, 41.

Ahmad (n 1) 200.

Charsley and Shaw (n 56) 338; Khandelwal (n 1).

Davé (n 50) 167, 168.

Charsley and Shaw (n 56) 338.

M. Aguiar, ‘Cultural Regeneration in Transnational South-Asian Popular Culture’ (2013) 84 Cultural Critique (2013) 181–214, 183.

Aguiar (n 1) 7.

A. Patel, ‘Marriage, then Love — Why Arranged Marriages Still Work Today,’ Global News , 26 July 2018.

K. Qureshi et al, ‘Marital Instability among British Pakistanis: Transnationality, Conjugalities and Islam’ (2014) 37 (2) Ethnic and Racial Studies 261–79, 276.

Pande (n 1) 75; for more on this love see K. Bejanyan et al, ‘Associations of Collectivism with Relationship Commitment, Passion, and Mate Preferences: Opposing Roles of Parental Influence and Family Allocentrism’ (2015) 10 (2) PLoS ONE 1–24, 3; Goode (n 13) 9, 12; Coontz (n 11) 149; Compare Zimmerman (n 10) 39.

R.A. Nisbet, Twilight of Authority (Indianapolis: Liberty Fund, Inc. 2000) 235.

C.S. Lewis, ‘The Four Loves’ in C.S. Lewis (ed.), Selected Books (London: Harper Collins, 1999) pp. 5, 15.

A. de Tocqueville, La Démocratie en Amérique (Paris: Gallimard, 1961, 2 vols.), English Translation by H. Reeve: Democracy in America (London: 1875) as referred to by Dumont (n 4) 17.

Compare the ideal type of the conjugal family, Goode (n 13) 7.

Weber (n 3) 191, translation by H. Ross, Law as a Social Institution (Oxford: Hart Publishing, 2001) p. 34.

L.A. Coser, Masters of Sociological Thought (New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1977) p. 223.

Compare Goode (n 13) 7.

Khandelwal (n 1) 584, 586, 605.

Ahmad (n 1) p. 194; Pande (n 21) p. 384; see also R. Mohammad, ‘Transnational Shift: Marriage, Home and belonging for British-Pakistani Muslim Women’ (2015) 16 (6) Social & Cultural Geography 593–614, 596.

Pande (n 44) 172, 183; Pande (n 21) 384.

Khandelwal (n 1); Ahmad (n 1); Pande (n 1); Mohammad (n 83); Pande (n 44) 181.

S.J. Hekman, Weber, the Ideal Type, and Contemporary Social Theory (New York: University of Notre Dame Press, 1983) p. 20.

For existing analyses on the topic, see Goode (n 13); D. Mace and V. Mace, Marriage East and West (London: Macgibbon and Kee, 1960); for marriages and caste in India, see Dumont (n 4); for Pakistani immigrants in Oxford and arranged marriages, see Shaw (n 19); see also Pande (n 45); Ahmad (n 1); Aguiar (n 1).

Thompson et al (n 4) 1.

See e.g. Aguiar (n 1) 15, 25, 139–44; G.L. Fox, ‘Love Match and Arranged Marriage in a Modernizing Nation: Mate Selection in Ankara, Turkey’ (1975) 37 (1) Journal of Marriage and Family 180–93, 181; Lee and Stone (n 6) 320; Kezuka (n 46).

Lee and Stone (n 6) 320: see also Mate selection theories, Encyclopaedia of Sociology, The Gale Group Inc., Encyclopedia.com: https://www.encyclopedia.com/social-sciences/encyclopedias-almanacs-transcripts-and-maps/mateselection-theories (last visited 14 July 2019).

Shaw (n 60) 325.

See eg Goode (n 13) pp. 240, 241; R.O. Blood, The Family (New York: Free Press, 1972) pp. 293–96, as referred to by Fox (n 89) 187.

A. Shaw, ‘Drivers of Cousin Marriage among British Pakistanis’ (2014) 77 Human Heredity 26–36, 31.

Fox (n 89) 181.

Shaw (n 93) 31.

See also Fox (n 89) 181; Lee and Stone (n 6) 320.

Gagoomal (n 25) 611; Lewis (n 74) 5, 15 in general on gift-love.

Thompson et al. (n 4) 6, referring to the grid-group analysis.

Tocqueville vol 2 (n 76) 90–92, as referred to by Dumont (n 4) 17; Shaw (n 19) 6.

Riesman et al (n 59) 17.

Dumont (n 4) 7.

Shaw (n 19) 6, referring to immigrant Pakistanis.

Lee and Stone (n 6) 320.

Pande (n 44) 177.

Lee and Stone (n 6) 320 see also Fox (n 89) 181.

See for various examples Gagoomal (n 25) 615, 617, 618.

G.P. Monger, Marriage Customs of the World: From Henna to Honeymoon (Santa Barbara, California: ABC-CLIO, 2004) 13.

Dumont (n 4) 2, 239, 19, 20; Nisbet (n 73) 217.

Jones (n 62) 4; Wood (n 63) 40–64, 41.

P. Crone, Pre-Industrial Societies (Oxford: Oneworld Publications, 2003) p. 99; Dumont (n 3) 19.

Dumont (n 4) 19.

Ibid., 17, 2.

Compare Crone (n 111) p. 104 on an organic view of society.

Nisbet (n 73) 217.

Dumont (n 4) 66, 240, 243, 244; Crone (n 111) pp. 99, 107; Thompson et al (n 4) 59.

Dumont (n 4) 66.

Thompson et al (n 4) 6.

Ibid., (n 4) 6.

T. Parsons, ‘A Revised Analytical Approach to the Theory of Social Stratification’ in R. Bendix et al (eds.), Class, Status and Power (London: Glencoe, 1954), as referred to by Dumont (n 4) 19.

Thompson et al (n 4) 6; Dumont (n 4) 17–19; see in general on guardianship Dahl (n 4) 52–64, 73.

Parsons (n 121), as referred to by Dumont (n 4) 19, see also 239, 240.

Dahl (n 4) 52.

Monger (n 108) 13.

Crone (n 111) p. 105, who refers to pre-industrial societies and hierarchy.

Dumont (n 4) 18.

M. Shams Uddin, ‘Arranged Marriage: A Dilemma for Young British Asians’ (2006) 3 Diversity in Health and Social Care 211–19, 211; F.M. Critelli, ‘Between Law and Custom: Women, Family Law and Marriage in Pakistan’ (2012) 43 (5) Journal of Comparative Family Studies 673–93, 677; Fox (n 90) 186,181.

Shaw (n 60) 324.

Shams Uddin (n 129) 211.

G.R. Quale, ‘A history of marriage systems’ in Contributions in Family Studie s, Issue 13 (Westport, US: Greenwood press, 1988) 2.

Tocqueville II (n 76), as referred to by Dumont (n 4) 18; see also Sennett (n 4) 126.

Ahmad (n 1) 201; in a similar vein see Mohammad (n 83) 603; see also Wakil et al (n 44) 936 on this responsibility.

Tocqueville II (n 76), as referred to by Dumont (n 4) 18, 17.

A. de Tocqueville, Democracy in America II (London: Everyman’s Library, 1994) 196.

Arendt (n 4) 93.

On guardianship see Dahl (n 4) 52.

On aristocracy see Tocqueville II (n 76), see Dumont (n 4) p. 18.

See for an explanation on tradition and authority, M. Weber, The Theory of Social and Economic Organization , A.M. Henderson and T. Parsons (trans.), T. Parsons (ed.) (New York: Oxford University Press, 1947) 341, as referred to by Nisbet 1966 (n 4) 142.

Compare Pande (n 44) 177; Shams Uddin (n 129) 211; Ahmad (n 1) 201 on trust and respect for parents.

Gagoomal (n 25) 589, 590.

Ibid., 590.

Ahmad (n 1) 201.

Arendt (n 4) 92.

Sennett (n 4) 15; see also Arendt (n 4) 92.

Weber (n 144) 341, as referred to by Nisbet 1966 (n 4) 142; Zimmerman (n 10) 215.

Zimmerman (n 10) 215.

Arendt (n 4) 93, 103.

Sennett (n 4) 18; Arendt (n 4) 93.

Sennett (n 4) 15–22.

Sennett (n 4) 16.

Arendt (n 4) 111; Weber, as referred to by Sennet (n 4) 22.

Weber, without further reference, as referred to by Sennett (n 4) 22.

Derived from Sennett (n 4) 19.

Nisbet 1966 (n 4) 107, 108.

Ibid., 142.

Shams Uddin (n 129) 211: Ahmad (n 3) 201.

MTV Documentary, True Life: I'm Having an Arranged Marriage , 2007, as referred to by Gagoomal (n 25) 617; Pande (n 21) 387; Gagoomal (n 25) 615; see also Sennett (n 4) 17 on a conductor that sees through members of the orchestra.

Sennett (n 4) 17.

Lee and Stone (n 6) 320; Fox (n 89) 181.

See W.J. Goode, ‘The Theoretical Importance of Love’ (1959) 24 (1) American Sociological Review 38–47, 43–46; compare also Bejanyan et al (n 72) 3.

Goode (n 168) 43; H. Papanek, ‘Purdah in Pakistan: Seclusion and Modern Occupations for Women’ (1971) 33 (3) Journal of Marriage and Family 517–30, 520.

Goode (n 168) 43; Thompson et al (n 4) 6; Shams Uddin (n 129) 212.

See for more Bejanyan et al (n 72) 3.

Goode (n 168) 43; Papanek (n 169) 520.

F. Bari, Country briefing paper: Women in Pakistan, Asian Development Bank July 2000. http://www.adb.org/Documents/Books/Country_Briefing_Papers/Women in Pakistan , as referred to by Critelli (n 129) 677; Shaw (n 60) 330; see also Riesman et al (n 59) 24.

Thompson et al (n 4) 59; see also in general on shame, N.P. Gilani, ‘Conflict Management of Mothers and Daughters Belonging to Individualistic and Collectivistic Cultural Backgrounds: A Comparative Study’ 1999 22 Journal of Adolescence 853–65, 854, 855; Riesman et al (n 59) 24.

A. de Tocqueville, Democracy in America II , 298, 303, as referred to by Nisbet 1966 (n 4) 114.

Nisbet 1966 (n 4) 151.

Goode (n 13) 7.

Coser (n 80) 223.

C. Breen, Age Discrimination and Children’s Rights. Ensuring Equality and Acknowledging Difference (Leiden: Brill Nijhoff, 2006) as referred to by A. van Coller, ‘Child Marriage – Acceptance by Association’ (2017) 31 International Journal of Law, Policy and The Family 363–76, 369.

Aguiar (n 1) 215.

Film A Fond Kiss , Ken Loach 2004; see also the Film What Will People Say , Iram Haq 2017 on a similar intergenerational struggle between an immigrant Pakistani father and his daughter in Sweden.

Derived from Nisbet 1966 (n 4) 116.

Moosavinia et al (n 22) 104; Said (n 22).

S. Mahmood, Politics of Piety: The Islamic Revival and the Feminist Subject (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2011), as referred to by Aguiar (n 1) 219.

For more on this exit see Anitha and Gill (n 3) 176–80; Shariff (n 3) 550, 551, 553, 561, 562.

Nisbet 1966 (n 4) 150.

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Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage Essay

There are two types marriages, i.e. Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage Essay, marriage is an important decision in life, which two people decide together.

Apart from this, in India it is also said that marriage is not a combination of two people but two families.

In such a situation it becomes important for us to know the decision of our family, Marriage is a sacred relationship that binds two people.

It is believed that it is only after marriage that a person gets a new way of living and they get to learn new rules of living life.

Well now the era has changed; earlier, where the boy and the girl used to marry the family, now he is marries on his own choice.

There is a lot of difference between marrying a girl chosen by the family, i.e. arranged marriage and finding a partner with your will, i.e. love marriage.

So let us know what the difference between these two weddings:

Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage Essay:

Arrange marriage:.

 In the Orange Marriage, the families of the boy and the girl select their spouse for each other.

In such marriages, most boys and girls are unaware of each other.

They fall in love only after marriage and then spend a happy life with each other for life.

In this, the relationship between the family of both the boy and the girl becomes very strong.

Arrange Marriage is considered more successful than Love Marriage.

Love Marriage:

In this marriage, boys and girls know each other well and like each other.

Many times it happens that family members are not happy with this marriage.

The girl begins to have problems with living and understanding with a new and stranger family.

The special thing about these weddings is that the boy and Girls has mutual understanding.

Both know each other well, but there is little interaction between their families.

RELATED ESSAYS:

NUCLEAR FAMILY VS JOINT FAMILY ESSAY | DOWRY SYSTEM ESSAY | FEMALE FOETICIDE ESSAY

Conclusion:

 It cannot be said that which marriage is better between Arrange marriage and Love marriage.

Whatever the marriage , it is very important for people to be sensible and have good thinking.

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Arranged Marriage Essays Examples

Type of paper: Essay

Topic: Social Issues , Freedom , Marriage , Love , Arranged Marriage , Family , Children , Relationships

Published: 02/21/2020

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Marriage is one of the critical issues in society. As a matter of fact, the roles and functions of marriage make it one f the important union in human race. Those who are religious will assert that marriage was actually instituted by God and this makes it a crucial issue. Arranged marriage is one of the types of marriage, but in this case the marital union is decided by third parties. It is a type of marriage where the groom and the bride are selected by other people rather than making their own decision on who to marry. In the past, this seemed to be the norm but the trend seems to behave continued in some culture or societies. The family members in most cases become part of those bringing the couples together. The parents are in the forefront in approving the potential partner for their children. In fact, the couples may even marry without knowing each other expecting that love will develop and become the best. In general perspective, this is unrealistic situation and brings out various reasons why being against arranged marriage is justified. Regardless of the religion that we belong, arranged marriage is not good. One of the main reason that drives many people to be against arranged marriage is the fact that there is no chemistry and physical attraction between the couples (Hylton, 2013). Research shows that in a marriage there should be bio-chemically compatibility between the two partners who want to get married. Hence, there is no need of putting people at risk. Marriage is actually a life time commitment and arranged marriages id putting the couples on a life time situation against their will. The chemistry between people who want to get married must grow and flourish automatically (Divakaruni, 2011). In arranged marriages love may not grow forever. There is a possibility that the partners do not like each other and focus more on their personalities. This means that the intimacy and the chemistry between the couples will never grow. An arranged marriage is not good because people have no time to learn various characters of the other partner. In most cases, people hide their personalities that may be abusive or flawed in nature. The abusive personality will come into play when individuals are already married, leaving one of the partner in marriage stressed (Hahn, 2011). Arranged marriage does not give the couples an opportunity to learn and tolerate each other characters and personality before getting married. This issue can also be said in non-arranged marriage but it becomes more harmful in arranged marriages due to the fact that you never made the choice. Arranged marriages denounce divorce leaving room for no easy escape. It is worth noting that divorce in arranged marriages comes with very severe penalties. The political, social and religious focus on divorce seems to be complex (Hylton, 2013). People focus more on the arranged marriage rather than focusing on the personal situation of an individual. In fact, people believe that abandoning arranged marriage can lead to lifetime problems. Arranged marriages have no room for free will and free decision making. Regardless of the fact that the couples are given an opportunity to meet before giving consent sound better, but if the couples refuse to consent the relatives go ahead and make the marriage official. In the 21st century, there are various risks associated to marriage, which may include STD and one could want to be tested before marriage. Arranged marriage leaves no room for this cautious and reasonable process. Arranged marriages have lead to abusive and exploitation, especially on the state of guise arranged marriage. In some occasions, arranged marriage may involve underage children, immigration fraud, and other forms of forced marriages. Therefore, the arranged marriages may be carried out in unlawful circumstances (Divakaruni, 2011). There are communities that arrange marriage for their children regardless of age, education schedule or other programs that individuals wish to accomplish before marriage. The arranged marriages violate the rights and freedom of people as stated by the law. Everyone has the right and freedom to choose who they want to get married to. The couples who are victims of forced marriage did not get an opportunity to enjoy this right and freedom. Those who arrange marriage for their children do not respect the desires and needs of their children. This means that the parents are nit sensitive to the desires of the children, which is not fair to the children (Hahn & Austen, 2011). Parents should be in the forefront on protecting the desires and needs of their children. Arranged marriages mostly driven by financial gain and social status at the expense of the happiness of children. There is a big possibility that arranged marriages will bring people who are not compatible. On the other hand those in support of arranged marriages have come up with reasons to support it. These include cultural and religious issues, financial and dynastic gain, and more so the parents take full control of their children life. In general perspective, arranged marriages are bad and should not be supported. Marriage should be a decision made by the couples in free will.

Divakaruni, C. (2011). Arranged Marriage. New York: Wadsworth Hahn, J. (2011). An Arranged Marriage. California: Wiley Hahn, J., & Austen, J. (2011). An arranged marriage. Oysterville, WA: Meryton Press. Hylton, S. (2013). An Arranged Marriage. London: Wiley

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Arranged marriage - Essay Samples And Topic Ideas For Free

Arranged marriage refers to marital unions where parties are introduced by family or intermediaries, rather than forming organically through personal relationships. Essays on arranged marriage might explore its prevalence in different cultures, the sociological and psychological implications, or the contrast between arranged and love marriages. Other topics might include the changing attitudes towards arranged marriage, or the impact of modernization and global cultural exchange on this traditional practice. We’ve gathered an extensive assortment of free essay samples on the topic of Arranged Marriage you can find in Papersowl database. You can use our samples for inspiration to write your own essay, research paper, or just to explore a new topic for yourself.

Arranged Marriage Around the World

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All Aspects of Arranged Marriage

Marriage: a formal union by which two people make their personal relationship public as a couple. The choice of spouse is one of the most important decisions most people ever make. In Western societies, physical attraction and love plays a huge part in who a person decides to spend his/her life with. But in Eastern societies, such as India, and in some parts of Africa, the bride and groom have little to say in the matter because the marriage is […]

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Love Marriage and Arranged Marriage: from Business to Affection

Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice and Gurinder Chadha’s Bride and Prejudice provide a thought-provoking perspective on marriage, suggesting that marriage is a form of business. Since both mediums are mostly about marriage, it is intriguing to wonder whom or what establishes the idea that marriage is not as simple as falling in love and living happily ever after. Although the two mediums are spanned nearly two hundred years apart and the film is a more cultural heavy adaptation of the […]

Arranged Marriages

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Forced Marriage

The result of forced marriages has been traditionally treated with hesitation by governments, for fear of offending cultural sensitive. Many people think forced marriage and arranged marriage the same. But both are not the same . An arranged marriage is performed with the complete and free assent of both parties and is still the chosen practise for numerous individuals all over the world. Forced marriages are a result of social factors, and no major religion within the world advocates forced […]

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The ultimate goal of any link between couples is marriage. Various ways are used today for which can be used to help individuals to meet that someone special; whether you meet them on your own, get introduced by friends, through blind dates, or website dating; there is something out there to assist you. But there is an old tradition from the Medieval Era in history that is making its way back into Modern-day society and relationships – arranged marriages. Modern-day […]

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After spending an entire life in the U.S. or the relative shelter of Western Europe, perhaps visiting a country where women cannot show their hair in public, drive or own property could come as a shock. In some places, gender differences continue to create deep power rifts, especially where the divides come from religion (Levine & Robbins, 2017). How would a westerner react to what is (from a western perspective) a clear infringement on gender equality and human rights? Culture […]

‘The Big Sick’ Movie Review

The Big Sick is a movie that features culturally specific material that is extremely engaging and interesting. The main character of the film is Kumail, a Pakistani immigrant that lives in Chicago with the rest of his family. This includes his brother and his wife, his father and his mother. It is very important to note that Kumail’s family are all very devoted muslims. They adhere to all of the five pillars and very much expect and believe Kumail is […]

The Idea of Romantic and Marital Relationships

The idea of romantic and marital relationships has changed and evolved over time into a much different concept than it used to be. In the Elizabethan Era, the concept of love and marriage was much different than the typical marriage between two people in today’s age. Not only marriage, but the relationship between a parent and their child has also adapted significantly over time. In the playwright William Shakespeare’s time, fathers chose their daughter’s husband for them. This decision that […]

About Khaled Hosseini’s a Thousand Splendid Suns

Depending on which culture you come from and who you are asking arranged marriages could be seen as just an everyday fact of life or they would even be seen as a blasphemous tradition that should be done away with entirely. In Khaled Hosseini’s A Thousand Splendid Suns you get a taste for what it is really like for a young woman who is forced into an arranged marriage. The story begins with Mariam, an Afghani woman, remembers her mother […]

Swahili People Group

The people group I decided to chose was the Swahili people group. The Arabic culture has proved to have had the biggest influence in determining Swahili traditions. A major component of the Arabic culture is the Islamic religion. Islamic traditions have been adopted by the Swahili people and take part in almost every aspect of the Swahili tribe’s daily life. It affects the food they eat, the clothes they wear, and their general lifestyle. Swahili children are required to attend […]

A Marriage that Means Nothing but Necessities

Marriages of convenience are undertaken for many other reasons than that of a relationship of love and affection. Instead, the marriages are based upon personal gain for either one or both people in the marriage. In most cases, people typically marry only so one of them can have a visa. Women in poor countries often marry men in exchange for a better life, uprooting themselves and leaving their families, children, and everything they have ever known behind. First, I will […]

Changes in Dating and Courtship Methods in Japan

In the last 100 years, courtship and mate selection in Japan was almost nonexistent as young people relied on arranged marriages. Male and female youths were kept separate and never mingled as opposed to Western countries. Culturally, the morals and manners that were prevalent at that time did not allow young people to engage in a sexual relationship unless they were married. In addition, girls got married to suitors chosen by their parents, and they did not date other men […]

Parents in Indian Family

AGD Many Indians who have traditional parents do not get their say in who they want to marry. The parents are the ones who ultimately decide who will be their child’s husband or wife. BACKGROUND This is how it is in India. While India has culturally and independently changed over the past decades, arranged marriages is something that has not and will likely not change in a long time. THESIS An arranged marriage can be a good for some things, […]

Personal Thoughts about Opportunities

Stated despite being a first generation, Hispanic student, has thrived to do well for school. Did not take any additional courses for boosting test scores (lack of money and knew parents just could not afford). Stated that an arranged marriage between her parents did cause somewhat of a problem to later be created due to religion. Nothing too big which had affected her academic life however. Had received support from both parents. Parents are a chosen love marriage- has 5 siblings […]

Marriage in a World

AGD Blind dates are usually made when someone is setting up two people together and the participants are willing to interact with each other.BKGRD In Eastern societies, blind dates are just step 1 to becoming an arranged married couple. ISSUE Despite the standard of various traditions, arranged marriages tend to display their own pre-eminence and downsides.B1 Some women disagree with this method because they are on the shorter side of the stick.B2 However this may be true, becoming a wife […]

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IELTS Mentor "IELTS Preparation & Sample Answer"

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IELTS Writing Task 2/ Essay Topics with sample answer.

Ielts writing task 2 sample 63 - marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner, ielts writing task 2/ ielts essay:, in some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner..

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How I survived hell-like marriage for eight years

• While living with her grandmother, Amina sold fruit juice to her classmates and teachers
• After the death of her grandmother, she worked with her mother in her Henna business

Amina* (not her real name) had an arranged marriage at the age of 20.

The high school drop-out from Mombasa county thought she met the love of her life, only for hell to break loose.

“The bed of roses I thought marriage was, turned into thorns. Every attempt to leave the abusive man would be met by my parents and the elders asking me to go back,” Amina says.

They told her to be patient and that marriage is not for the faint-hearted.

But since her community's cultural practices required her not to question her elders, she returned to her husband.

Amina was barely 17 and in Form 3 when her grandmother died.

Her grandmother's death meant that Amina and her siblings drop out of school and go back to their parents.

She had to give up her chance for education to her younger brother.

While living with her grandmother, Amina sold fruit juice to her classmates and teachers.

After the death of her grandmother, she worked with her mother in her Henna business.

“I was able to save some money and paid for computer lessons,” Amina said.

Lucky for her, she secured a job as a receptionist in one of the insurance companies. It is during this time that Amina met her abusive husband.

At some point in her marriage, she restarted her collapsed hijab business. Her husband would, however, object to her business ideas.

He wanted her to stay at home and look after the family.

Amina defied him and continued with her henna business. She also sewed and sold hijabs.

A few years later, the business grew and she started to brand the hijabs.

The branded hijabs cast her into the limelight. She got coverage from several media houses and the brand became popular in Kenya and beyond.

But, behind the well-established business, Amina battled an abusive and toxic marriage that almost ended her life.

She drew her strength from her two children and business.

“I suffered depression, stroke and high blood pressure. I would, however, put on a brave face and continue smiling to hide my pain,” Amina said.

“Allah gave me strength. After eight years of abuse, I found some Sheikhs who listened to me and showed me the way out of the toxic marriage.”

She left her husband for the fifth time, but this time, it was for good.

When her parents tried to persuade her to go back, she told them she would commit suicide.

This changed her parents' heart and they supported her to rebuild her life.

“Through their support, I was able to give my children the best life they never had because they suffered from a lot of trauma after seeing what I went through,” Amina said.

“It has been two years of separation and my husband has refused to sign the divorce papers, I am still fighting to get my divorce at Kadhi's office.”

Amina's husband locked up all her belongings including her children's clothes, forcing her to start her life from zero. Her hijab business also collapsed.

After some time, she tried to reopen her hijab business but it failed.

Unbowed, Amina took up four jobs to fend for her family.

She work as a house help, a shopkeeper and a volunteer in different organisations.

She also resells perfumes from different shops at MacKinnon Market famously known as Marikiti.

Data from the Kenya Institute of Public Policy Research says about 34 per cent of women have experienced physical violence since age 15.

It says 13 per cent of women have experienced sexual violence at some point in their lives.

Given a chance to turn back the hands of time, Amina would never accept an arranged marriage.

"I would do a background check of the man as well," she says.

"I advise young women not to rush into marriage before they are mentally and emotionally prepared. Also try to find a sustainable income,” she said.