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07 November 2016

Essays That Worked (Connecticut College Edition)

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07 November 2016

Essays That Worked (Connecticut College Edition)

Posted in Class of 2021 , Essays , Perspectives

• Tags: Class of 2021 , Connecticut College , Essays

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The New York Times

The learning network | going beyond cliché: how to write a great college essay.

Going Beyond Cliché: How to Write a Great College Essay

Overview | What makes a college essay “work”? How can writers reveal themselves through writing? In this lesson, students explore sample college essays and then consider advice about what separates a great essay from a mediocre or ineffective one as well as essay-writing tips. Finally, they write essays based on the piece of advice that resonated with them.

Materials | Copies of sample personal essays, copies of the College Essay Checklist (PDF), computer with Internet access and projection equipment

Warm-Up | Begin by asking: What do you think college admissions officers are looking for when they read student essays? List responses on the board, and be sure to push the conversation beyond issues of mechanics and structure to content, voice and style.

Then read aloud this first paragraph from a college essay:

During the summer before my junior year of high school, I spent a weekend volunteering with the poor in post-Katrina Louisiana and realized that I am privileged. Most of what these people had had been ripped out from under them and life was very different there from my life in suburban Massachusetts. Amazingly, though, these people still seemed happy. I learned from this experience that money isn’t everything.

Ask: Judging just from this paragraph, do you think this essay will meet the expectations we just listed? Does this paragraph grab you? Are you interested in reading more of this essay? What do you think this paragraph says about this student?

Next, divide students into small groups of “admissions officers,” and give each “committee” a college essay to evaluate. Resources include Connecticut College’s Essays That Worked collection and these sample essays published in The Times. In addition, give them this handout (PDF).

Tell the “admissions committees” to imagine that each of these essay writers has applied for admission to their college or university. Each group is responsible for using the handout to evaluate the essay and decide whether to admit this student. They should assume that each student has a similarly strong profile in terms of grades, test scores, activities and recommendations.

Once students have read and evaluated the essay, reconvene the class. Invite each group to describe their essay and what they liked or didn’t like about it, and deliver their admissions decision.

After each group has shared, ask: How were these essays different from the excerpt with which we began? In what ways were they more effective? What is cliché? How did these essays avoid that trap? Is there a way to move the experience detailed in the opening essay beyond cliché? After considering these essays, what else should we add to our list about what college admissions officials are looking for in student essays?

Related | In his recent post on The Choice blog, Dave Marcus, author of “Acceptance,” offers advice for writing successful college essays and avoiding common pitfalls:

Here’s an essay that’s sure to make an admissions officer reach for the triple grande latte to stay awake: “I spent [choose one: a summer vacation/a weekend/three hours] volunteering with the poor in [Honduras/ Haiti/ Louisiana] and realized that [I am privileged/I enjoy helping others/people there are happy with so little].” Yes, the admissions folks have read it before. Many times. “I would love to have a student answer the question, ‘Why is it that you have everything and they have nothing?'” said Cezar Mesquita, admissions director at the College of Wooster. “Or ‘What did others learn from your participation in the trip?'” For many seniors, choosing the topic for a personal statement is more difficult than actually writing the piece. But don’t fret. “Some of the more mundane moments in life make great essays,” Christopher Burkmar, Princeton University’s associate dean of admissions, assured guidance counselors at a conference last month.

Read the entire article with your class, using the questions below.

Questions | For discussion and reading comprehension:

• Remember that essay we started class with? Why are the options presented in the “fill-in-the-blank” introduction in the post likely to not interest or impress a college admissions official?
• Why are more mundane topics often preferable?
• What other alternatives to the standard college essay fare does this post offer?
• What are some things to avoid in a college essay?
• Mr. Marcus quotes Matthew Whelan of Stony Brook University as saying that the best college essays “help us understand why we want the applicant here.” Thinking of your own experiences, what are some things that make you attractive to the college(s) of your choice?

Related Resources

From the learning network.

• Lesson: College Accept-tion to the Rule
• Lesson: Me, Myself and I
• Lesson: Getting Personal

From NYTimes.com

• From the Archives: My College Essay
• Essay Blog: College Essay Contest

Around the Web

• The College Board: Essay Writing Skills
• Teen Ink: Today’s Best College Essays
• About.com: Application Essays

Activity | Explain to students that they will now start developing personal essays for their college application packages, by evaluating and then capitalizing on advice on how to write effective essays.

First, project the multimedia feature “Counting Words, Courting College.” Ask: What advice do you take away from this audio slide show about what makes a great college essay?

Next, tell students to meet again in their groups to consider and evaluate advice about writing college essays from a variety of Times articles from the last decade or so. Divide students into small groups and distribute one of the following pieces to each group:

• Your Comments on Admissions Essays
• Tip Sheet: An Admissions Dean Offers Advice on Writing a College Essay
• An Applicant’s Perspective on the College Essay
• Treating a College Admissions Essay Like a First Date
• Admissions Essay Ordeal: The Young Examined Life

They should use these questions to evaluate their assigned article:

What are the top three pieces of advice you glean from this piece? From whose perspective does this advice come? Do you find this advice compelling? Why or why not?

Once students have finished their work, reconvene and ask students to share the most compelling advice from each piece. Compile a list on the board and discuss the wisdom and limitations of the suggestions.

Ask: What advice here seems most useful? Despite all of this advice, what don’t you know about writing college essays? What role does the reader play in determining what works and what doesn’t? How can you account for individual, unknown readers as you write?

Tell each student to choose one piece of advice they found most compelling and to craft a college essay that puts this suggestion into practice. They might, for example, take a risk, as Dave Marcus suggested, or “bring the reader into a moment in [their] life” as one reader advised.

But first, they have to choose a topic. As one parent contributor to The Choice blog notes , crafting an essay is really a foray into memoir writing. And while all of the advice they have gathered is useful, the question of what to write about remains.

To help students begin to discover topics that make for good essay fodder, ask them to create a timeline of significant events in their lives. Ask them to really think broadly, aiming to get at least 20  items on their list. They should include “major” events like births, deaths, travel, coming of age rituals, or course, but also the more mundane moments they remember that have marked their lives in some way — a car ride, a dinner, a chance meeting, etc. (You might encourage them to respond to our Student Opinion question “What ‘Mundane Moments’ in Your Life Might Make Great Essay Material?” and read what other student commenters wrote.)

Then, ask them to talk in pairs or small groups about what patterns, ideas or themes emerge when they review their timelines. Are there significant people who crop up again and again? What about an experience that truly changed their perspective on things in an important way? What inspires strong emotion? What seems clichéd or potentially boring? (Allow students who are gravitating toward stories that are particularly personal to work independently.)

In their discussions, ask students to narrow possible topics for essays to three they think will help a college admissions committee “understand why [they] want the applicant.”

Going further | Students use the topics they generated in class to draft a college essay around the piece of advice they thought was the most useful.

Offer those students who are not satisfied with their topic some or all of the following 15 prompts to help them generate more ideas:

• A significant relationship I had or have:
• A treasured object I possess:
• A time I took a risk:
• A time I felt humbled:
• One thing very few people know about me is:
• Something I regret:
• A time when I was, or felt, rejected:
• Something I am really proud of:
• Something that changed the way I think or look at the world:
• How I am different from most people I know:
• My greatest fear:
• A time I felt truly satisfied:
• A person I admire:
• An object I own that tells a lot about me:
• Something funny that I did or that happened to me:

Students who are still stuck might benefit from looking at these personal writing ideas from The Times. Or they might make their own creative prompts .

When students are finished drafting their essays, ask them to bring in their drafts for peer review. Use your favorite method or one of the options presented in our lesson Getting Personal , including using the College Essay Checklist (PDF). You might also suggest that students seek feedback from their school college counselor.

Standards | This lesson is correlated to McREL’s national standards (it can also be aligned to the new Common Core State Standards ):

Language Arts 1. Uses the general skills and strategies of the writing process 5. Uses the general skills and strategies of the reading process 7. Uses general skills and strategies to understand a variety of informational texts 8. Uses listening and speaking strategies for different purposes

Life Skills: Working With Others 1. Contributes to the overall effort of a group 4. Displays effective interpersonal communication skills

Behavioral Studies 1. Understands that group and cultural influences contribute to human development, identity and behavior 2. Understands various meanings of social group, general implications of group membership and different ways that groups function 3. Understands that interactions among learning, inheritance and physical development affect human behavior 4. Understands conflict, cooperation and interdependence among individuals, groups, and institutions

Arts and Communication 3. Uses critical and creative thinking in various arts and communication settings 4. Understands ways in which the human experience is transmitted and reflected in the arts and communication

Comments are no longer being accepted.

Hi Tim – Thank you very much! – Holly

uhmm…right.

OK, so if everyone took this advice, how does this not result in a bunch of the same essays submitted?

VERY USEFUL!

An erudite and quite candid piece of writing.

Writing an essay can be challenging, especially when you have multiple assignments due at the same time. But there a few tricks that can make the whole process that much easier

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The students I am trying to help write compelling essays are the “poor in post-Katrina New Orleans.” Should they write about dealing with privileged snobs? I don’t think I’ll be using this link.

What's Next

College Essays That Worked: See Examples

Experts say a good college essay features a student's voice and personality.

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Students should know themselves and write authoritatively so they can share a sense of their lives with admissions officers.

Many college applications require a personal essay, which can be daunting for students to write.

But a few simple tips, some introspection and insight into what admissions officers are looking for can help ease the pressure. U.S. News has compiled several college essay examples that helped students get into school. Shared by admissions staff or referenced from admissions websites, these essays stand out, they say, because the student voices shine, helping the school get to know the applicants.

"Students can get caught in the trap of overthinking it and write the essay that's going to impress the admissions committee," says Andrew Strickler, dean of admission and financial aid at Connecticut College . "The best essays, the ones that really pop, are the ones that come across as authentic and you really hear the student's voice."

The essay gives schools a feel for how a student writes, but it's the content of the essay that matters most, admissions professionals say. In other words, while it's important to showcase sound grammar and writing, it's even more important to showcase your character and personality.

"I care more about their stories than if it is a perfect five paragraph essay," David Graves, interim director of admissions at the University of Georgia , wrote in an email.

Many schools give students a wide range of topics to choose from, which experts say can be beneficial in helping students find their voice.

While you want your voice to be apparent, it's wise to be aware of your tone, says Allen Koh, CEO of Cardinal Education, an admissions consulting company that works with students to craft and revise their college essays. The goal of the essay is to make a strong case for why you’re different from all the other applicants, not necessarily why you’re better, he adds.

"You have to pass the genuine likability test. Sometimes kids are so busy trying to brag or tell their story that they’re forgetting they have to sound like a likable person. That’s a very simple test, but it’s really important."

Good essays tend to be "positively emotional," he says. It's best to avoid using sarcasm because it tends to fail on college essays.

Any humor used "really has to be a very positive, witty humor, not sarcastic," which he says can be hard to pick up on in an essay.

The Perils of Using AI for Essays

Choosing the right tone can be a challenge for many students, but admissions pros encourage them not to take shortcuts to completing their essay.

Though some college professors have embraced artificial intelligence tools like ChatGPT in their classrooms, Strickler says he's begun to stress in recent talks with high school audiences the importance of original work and avoiding the use of AI tools like ChatGPT to craft college essays. While it might produce a technically well-written essay and save time, your unique voice will be stripped away, and it may leave a bad impression on admissions offices as well as prevent them from truly getting to know you, he says.

Instead, Graves says, start early and take time to write it yourself, then "actually read it out loud to someone ... to listen to the rhythm and words as they are 'read.'"

Each spring on his admissions blog , Graves shares an enrolling student's essay and why it was strong. The essay excerpted below, shared with the permission of the University of Georgia, uses descriptive word choice and gives the admissions office deep insight into the student's life, their love for writing and their connection to their family, Graves says.

It was chosen as an example "to show our applicant pool how to express themselves through similes, sensory language (words that capture the senses of the reader), and emotion," Graves wrote on the blog.

Here's how the essay opened:

If you asked me what object I’d save in a burning fire, I’d save my notebook. My notebook isn’t just any notebook, it’s bubble gum pink with purple tie dye swirls, and has gold coil binding it together. But more importantly, it’s the key that unlocked my superpower, sending me soaring into the sky, flying high above any problems that could ever catch me. However, my notebook is simply the key. My real power rests in the depths of my mind, in my passion for writing. But to know how my powers came to be (not from a spider or a special rock), I must travel back to the first spark.

Four years ago, I wrote my first 6-word memoir in my eighth-grade rhetoric class. Inspired by my father’s recently diagnosed terminal illness, I wrote “Take his words, don’t take him”. It was as if all the energy of my powers surged into six meaningful words meant to honor the man that I would soon lose to a villain known as ALS. This was the first time I felt my writing. Three years ago, my dad’s disease severely progressed. The ALS seized his ability to speak and locked it in a tower with no key. The only way we could communicate was with an old spiral notebook. ...

The essay counted down each year ("three years ago," "two years ago," etc.) and concluded with this paragraph:

One month ago, I needed my powers more than ever before. I needed them to convey who I truly am for the chance at the future of my dreams as a writer. Except this time, I didn’t need the key because my powers grew into fruition. Instead, I opened my laptop only to type out one sentence… “If you asked me what object to save in a burning fire, I’d save my notebook.”

This style of storytelling, which shows not just the triumph at the end but also the conflict, struggle and evolution in between, makes for great essays, Koh says.

"The student also used an intriguing timeline (counting down years and month) to tell their story, and showed how she had grown," Graves says.

This next essay, by an anonymous writer and shared on Connecticut College 's admissions page , "manages to capture multiple aspects of the writer's personality, while not becoming overly cluttered or confusing," writes Susanna Matthews, associate director of admission at the school.

Every person who truly knows me believes that I was born in the wrong century. They call me "an old soul" because I'm a collector, attracted to books, antiques, vinyl records and anything from the 80's. But they also think I am unique in other ways. I believe it is because of the meaningful connections to my two languages and two cultures.

When we moved into our first American house, I was excited to decorate my new room. The first thing I knew I needed was a place to organize my most cherished possessions I have collected throughout my life. I searched and finally found a bookshelf with twenty-five thick sections that I could build and organize alphabetically ... Each shelf holds important objects from different parts of my life. ...

These books are a strong connection to my Brazilian heritage. They also remind me of the time when I was growing up in Brazil, as a member of a large Italian-Brazilian family.

The writer continues on, describing the types of books on each shelf, from Harry Potter to books used to learn English. They describe the bottom of the bookshelf housing some of their most prized possessions, like an old typewriter their grandfather gave them. They wonder about the words it has crafted and stories it has told.

As I grab my favorite Elvis vinyl to play, I can only wonder about the next chapter of my life. I look forward to adding new books, new friends, and a wide variety of experiences to my bookshelf.

"By placing one subject (the bookshelf) at the center of the piece, it lends some flexibility to layer in much more detail than if they had tried to discuss a few different interests in the essay," Matthews writes. "You learn a lot about the person, in a way that isn't in your face – a great thing when trying to write a personal essay."

Some colleges require a supplemental essay in addition to the personal statement. Typically, admissions pros note, these essays are shorter and focus on answering a specific question posed by the college.

The University of Chicago in Illinois allows students to submit essay prompts as inspiration for the admissions office and gives students some latitude in how they answer them. Essay prompts range from questions about the school itself to asking students to pick a question from a song title or lyric and give their best shot at answering it.

"We think of them as an opportunity for students to tell us about themselves, their tastes, and their ambitions," the school's admissions website reads. "They can be approached with utter seriousness, complete fancy, or something in between."

While the University of Chicago says there is no strict word limit on its supplemental essays, other schools prefer brevity. For example, Stanford University in California asks students to answer several short questions, with a 50-word limit, in addition to answering three essay questions in 100 to 250 words.

Georgia asks for a school-specific supplemental essay that's 200-300 words in addition to a 250- to 650-word personal essay.

"Sometimes a shorter essay response is not as polished an essay, but instead is a more casual, more relaxed essay," Graves says. "In addition, sometimes a student needs to get to the point or be concise, and this helps see if they can give us their story without overdoing it."

Other schools allow for a little more creativity in how the supplemental essay questions are answered. Babson College in Massachusetts, for example, gives students a 500-word limit to answer a prompt, or they can choose to submit a one-minute video about why they chose to apply to the school.

One student, Gabrielle Alias, chose to film a "day-in-the-life" video , which she narrated to answer the prompt, "Who Am I?"

"Visiting campus twice, I know I could see myself as one of the many interesting, innovative, and enticing students that come out of Babson," she says in the video. "But who am I you ask? I am a student. I am a reader. I am a researcher. I am a music lover. ... I am Gabrielle Alias and I am excited for who I will be as a graduate of Babson."

An essay by Babson student Bessie Shiroki, seen below, describes her experience in the school's admissions office and how she immediately felt comfortable.

I immediately smiled at the sight of my favorite board game. Babsonopoly. I love the combination of strategy and luck in this traditional family pastime. Seeing this on the wall in the admissions office gave me immediate comfort; I knew I was home.

Shiroki describes what she felt set Babson College apart from other schools, such as being surrounded by "sophisticated and mature individuals" and a tight-knit, entrepreneurial environment that would help her reach her career goals.

It is natural for me to be in a small class where more than one language is spoken. I am accustomed to discussions with diverse viewpoints, open minds, and where differences are seen as advantages. I embrace my cultural uniqueness, and I will add my voice to the community. I can’t imagine not continuing this in college.

She notes that as she toured the campus and saw students studying, she could see herself as one of them, feeding off of their studious and entrepreneurial energy. She mentions that Babson's Foundations of Management and Entrepreneurship class got her attention immediately and she saw it as a launch pad for a future that included running a business.

Babson recognizes the potential of their students, and FME is a great way for young entrepreneurs like me to find our place in the business world and learn from our mistakes. I am capable of this challenge and will conquer it with tenacity. I will bring my dedication, commitment, and innovative skills to Babson College.

Now it’s my turn to pass go and collect my Babson acceptance letter. I’ve found my next challenge.

Babson College offers several tips for what make good essays, including a strong "hook" to engage the reader from the start and a topic that allows you to share something that's not as obvious on your application.

When it comes to writing a college admissions essay – whether personal or supplemental – experts advise students to follow these rules:

• Find your voice.
• Write about a topic that matters to you.
• Share your personality.
• Express yourself.
• Proofread extensively.

With both traditional essays and supplemental essays, Koh says it's best to write long and work with someone you trust to edit it down. Teachers, friends and parents can all be helpful proofreaders, but experts note that the student voice should remain intact.

A good editor can help edit a long essay to keep the main message but with fewer words. “If I see 400 words, I know I’m a dozen drafts away from getting it to 650,” he says. “If I see 1200 words, we might just be one or two away. It’s at least going to be a shorter haul.”

Strickler encourages students not to stress too much over the essay or put unnecessary weight on it as part of their college application . While a strong essay helps, he says, it doesn't make or break an application.

"There's this sense that you write the most amazing essay and it gets you over the top because it opens the door to the pathway to the Magic Kingdom," he says. "But it's just one piece of a myriad of pieces that allow us to get to know a particular student and help us figure out if they're a good fit and how they're going to contribute to our community."

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Sat / act prep online guides and tips, 177 college essay examples for 11 schools + expert analysis.

College Admissions , College Essays

The personal statement might just be the hardest part of your college application. Mostly this is because it has the least guidance and is the most open-ended. One way to understand what colleges are looking for when they ask you to write an essay is to check out the essays of students who already got in—college essays that actually worked. After all, they must be among the most successful of this weird literary genre.

In this article, I'll go through general guidelines for what makes great college essays great. I've also compiled an enormous list of 100+ actual sample college essays from 11 different schools. Finally, I'll break down two of these published college essay examples and explain why and how they work. With links to 177 full essays and essay excerpts , this article is a great resource for learning how to craft your own personal college admissions essay!

What Excellent College Essays Have in Common

Even though in many ways these sample college essays are very different from one other, they do share some traits you should try to emulate as you write your own essay.

Visible Signs of Planning

Building out from a narrow, concrete focus. You'll see a similar structure in many of the essays. The author starts with a very detailed story of an event or description of a person or place. After this sense-heavy imagery, the essay expands out to make a broader point about the author, and connects this very memorable experience to the author's present situation, state of mind, newfound understanding, or maturity level.

Knowing how to tell a story. Some of the experiences in these essays are one-of-a-kind. But most deal with the stuff of everyday life. What sets them apart is the way the author approaches the topic: analyzing it for drama and humor, for its moving qualities, for what it says about the author's world, and for how it connects to the author's emotional life.

Stellar Execution

A killer first sentence. You've heard it before, and you'll hear it again: you have to suck the reader in, and the best place to do that is the first sentence. Great first sentences are punchy. They are like cliffhangers, setting up an exciting scene or an unusual situation with an unclear conclusion, in order to make the reader want to know more. Don't take my word for it—check out these 22 first sentences from Stanford applicants and tell me you don't want to read the rest of those essays to find out what happens!

A lively, individual voice. Writing is for readers. In this case, your reader is an admissions officer who has read thousands of essays before yours and will read thousands after. Your goal? Don't bore your reader. Use interesting descriptions, stay away from clichés, include your own offbeat observations—anything that makes this essay sounds like you and not like anyone else.

Technical correctness. No spelling mistakes, no grammar weirdness, no syntax issues, no punctuation snafus—each of these sample college essays has been formatted and proofread perfectly. If this kind of exactness is not your strong suit, you're in luck! All colleges advise applicants to have their essays looked over several times by parents, teachers, mentors, and anyone else who can spot a comma splice. Your essay must be your own work, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help polishing it.

And if you need more guidance, connect with PrepScholar's expert admissions consultants . These expert writers know exactly what college admissions committees look for in an admissions essay and chan help you craft an essay that boosts your chances of getting into your dream school.

Check out PrepScholar's Essay Editing and Coaching progra m for more details!

Links to Full College Essay Examples

Some colleges publish a selection of their favorite accepted college essays that worked, and I've put together a selection of over 100 of these.

Common App Essay Samples

Please note that some of these college essay examples may be responding to prompts that are no longer in use. The current Common App prompts are as follows:

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? 3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? 4. Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? 5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. 6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Now, let's get to the good stuff: the list of 177 college essay examples responding to current and past Common App essay prompts. 

Connecticut college.

• 12 Common Application essays from the classes of 2022-2025

Hamilton College

• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2026
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2022
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2018
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2012
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2007

Johns Hopkins

These essays are answers to past prompts from either the Common Application or the Coalition Application (which Johns Hopkins used to accept).

• 1 Common Application or Coalition Application essay from the class of 2026
• 6 Common Application or Coalition Application essays from the class of 2025
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2024
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2023
• 7 Common Application of Universal Application essays from the class of 2022
• 5 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2021
• 7 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2020

Essay Examples Published by Other Websites

• 2 Common Application essays ( 1st essay , 2nd essay ) from applicants admitted to Columbia

Other Sample College Essays

Here is a collection of essays that are college-specific.

Babson College

• 4 essays (and 1 video response) on "Why Babson" from the class of 2020

Emory University

• 5 essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) from the class of 2020 along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on why the essays were exceptional
• 5 more recent essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on what made these essays stand out

University of Georgia

• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2019
• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2018
• 10 Harvard essays from 2023
• 10 Harvard essays from 2022
• 10 Harvard essays from 2021
• 10 Harvard essays from 2020
• 10 Harvard essays from 2019
• 10 Harvard essays from 2018
• 6 essays from admitted MIT students

Smith College

• 6 "best gift" essays from the class of 2018

Books of College Essays

If you're looking for even more sample college essays, consider purchasing a college essay book. The best of these include dozens of essays that worked and feedback from real admissions officers.

College Essays That Made a Difference —This detailed guide from Princeton Review includes not only successful essays, but also interviews with admissions officers and full student profiles.

50 Successful Harvard Application Essays by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson—A must for anyone aspiring to Harvard .

50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays and 50 Successful Stanford Application Essays by Gen and Kelly Tanabe—For essays from other top schools, check out this venerated series, which is regularly updated with new essays.

Heavenly Essays by Janine W. Robinson—This collection from the popular blogger behind Essay Hell includes a wider range of schools, as well as helpful tips on honing your own essay.

Analyzing Great Common App Essays That Worked

I've picked two essays from the examples collected above to examine in more depth so that you can see exactly what makes a successful college essay work. Full credit for these essays goes to the original authors and the schools that published them.

Example 1: "Breaking Into Cars," by Stephen, Johns Hopkins Class of '19 (Common App Essay, 636 words long)

I had never broken into a car before.

We were in Laredo, having just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site. The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas BBQ, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean up. Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the van.

Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back.

"Can you do that thing with a coat hanger to unlock it?"

"Why me?" I thought.

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame. Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally. My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. "The water's on fire! Clear a hole!" he shouted, tossing me in the lake without warning. While I'm still unconvinced about that particular lesson's practicality, my Dad's overarching message is unequivocally true: much of life is unexpected, and you have to deal with the twists and turns.

Living in my family, days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, I learned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable a try. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I definitely don't expect perfect fairness. So what if our dining room table only has six chairs for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night.

But more than punctuality and a special affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in situations over which I have no power. Growing up, I never controlled my older siblings, but I learned how to thwart their attempts to control me. I forged alliances, and realigned them as necessary. Sometimes, I was the poor, defenseless little brother; sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to different people, as the situation demanded. I learned to adapt.

Back then, these techniques were merely reactions undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The question caught me off guard, much like the question posed to me in Laredo. Then, I realized I knew the answer. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me.

Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a vital participant in a thing I did not govern, in the company of people I did not choose. It's family. It's society. And often, it's chaos. You participate by letting go of the small stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the unexpected with confidence, optimism, and preparedness. My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with confidence.

What Makes This Essay Tick?

It's very helpful to take writing apart in order to see just how it accomplishes its objectives. Stephen's essay is very effective. Let's find out why!

An Opening Line That Draws You In

In just eight words, we get: scene-setting (he is standing next to a car about to break in), the idea of crossing a boundary (he is maybe about to do an illegal thing for the first time), and a cliffhanger (we are thinking: is he going to get caught? Is he headed for a life of crime? Is he about to be scared straight?).

Great, Detailed Opening Story

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame.

It's the details that really make this small experience come alive. Notice how whenever he can, Stephen uses a more specific, descriptive word in place of a more generic one. The volunteers aren't going to get food or dinner; they're going for "Texas BBQ." The coat hanger comes from "a dumpster." Stephen doesn't just move the coat hanger—he "jiggles" it.

Details also help us visualize the emotions of the people in the scene. The person who hands Stephen the coat hanger isn't just uncomfortable or nervous; he "takes a few steps back"—a description of movement that conveys feelings. Finally, the detail of actual speech makes the scene pop. Instead of writing that the other guy asked him to unlock the van, Stephen has the guy actually say his own words in a way that sounds like a teenager talking.

Turning a Specific Incident Into a Deeper Insight

Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

Stephen makes the locked car experience a meaningful illustration of how he has learned to be resourceful and ready for anything, and he also makes this turn from the specific to the broad through an elegant play on the two meanings of the word "click."

Using Concrete Examples When Making Abstract Claims

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally.

"Unpredictability and chaos" are very abstract, not easily visualized concepts. They could also mean any number of things—violence, abandonment, poverty, mental instability. By instantly following up with highly finite and unambiguous illustrations like "family of seven" and "siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing," Stephen grounds the abstraction in something that is easy to picture: a large, noisy family.

Using Small Bits of Humor and Casual Word Choice

My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed.

Obviously, knowing how to clean burning oil is not high on the list of things every 9-year-old needs to know. To emphasize this, Stephen uses sarcasm by bringing up a situation that is clearly over-the-top: "in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed."

The humor also feels relaxed. Part of this is because he introduces it with the colloquial phrase "you know," so it sounds like he is talking to us in person. This approach also diffuses the potential discomfort of the reader with his father's strictness—since he is making jokes about it, clearly he is OK. Notice, though, that this doesn't occur very much in the essay. This helps keep the tone meaningful and serious rather than flippant.

An Ending That Stretches the Insight Into the Future

But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The ending of the essay reveals that Stephen's life has been one long preparation for the future. He has emerged from chaos and his dad's approach to parenting as a person who can thrive in a world that he can't control.

This connection of past experience to current maturity and self-knowledge is a key element in all successful personal essays. Colleges are very much looking for mature, self-aware applicants. These are the qualities of successful college students, who will be able to navigate the independence college classes require and the responsibility and quasi-adulthood of college life.

What Could This Essay Do Even Better?

Even the best essays aren't perfect, and even the world's greatest writers will tell you that writing is never "finished"—just "due." So what would we tweak in this essay if we could?

Replace some of the clichéd language. Stephen uses handy phrases like "twists and turns" and "don't sweat the small stuff" as a kind of shorthand for explaining his relationship to chaos and unpredictability. But using too many of these ready-made expressions runs the risk of clouding out your own voice and replacing it with something expected and boring.

Use another example from recent life. Stephen's first example (breaking into the van in Laredo) is a great illustration of being resourceful in an unexpected situation. But his essay also emphasizes that he "learned to adapt" by being "different things to different people." It would be great to see how this plays out outside his family, either in the situation in Laredo or another context.

Example 2: By Renner Kwittken, Tufts Class of '23 (Common App Essay, 645 words long)

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry's "Cars and Trucks and Things That Go," and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration.

Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear.

I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

In the lab, Dr. Ray encouraged a great amount of autonomy to design and implement my own procedures. I chose to attack a problem that affects the entire field of nanomedicine: nanoparticles consistently fail to translate from animal studies into clinical trials. Jumping off recent literature, I set out to see if a pre-dose of a common chemotherapeutic could enhance nanoparticle delivery in aggressive prostate cancer, creating three novel constructs based on three different linear polymers, each using fluorescent dye (although no gold, sorry goldbug!). Though using radioactive isotopes like Gallium and Yttrium would have been incredible, as a 17-year-old, I unfortunately wasn't allowed in the same room as these radioactive materials (even though I took a Geiger counter to a pair of shoes and found them to be slightly dangerous).

I hadn't expected my hypothesis to work, as the research project would have ideally been led across two full years. Yet while there are still many optimizations and revisions to be done, I was thrilled to find -- with completely new nanoparticles that may one day mean future trials will use particles with the initials "RK-1" -- thatcyclophosphamide did indeed increase nanoparticle delivery to the tumor in a statistically significant way.

A secondary, unexpected research project was living alone in Baltimore, a new city to me, surrounded by people much older than I. Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research. Whether in a presentation or in a casual conversation, making others interested in science is perhaps more exciting to me than the research itself. This solidified a new pursuit to angle my love for writing towards illuminating science in ways people can understand, adding value to a society that can certainly benefit from more scientific literacy.

It seems fitting that my goals are still transforming: in Scarry's book, there is not just one goldbug, there is one on every page. With each new experience, I'm learning that it isn't the goldbug itself, but rather the act of searching for the goldbugs that will encourage, shape, and refine my ever-evolving passions. Regardless of the goldbug I seek -- I know my pickle truck has just begun its journey.

Renner takes a somewhat different approach than Stephen, but their essay is just as detailed and engaging. Let's go through some of the strengths of this essay.

One Clear Governing Metaphor

This essay is ultimately about two things: Renner’s dreams and future career goals, and Renner’s philosophy on goal-setting and achieving one’s dreams.

But instead of listing off all the amazing things they’ve done to pursue their dream of working in nanomedicine, Renner tells a powerful, unique story instead. To set up the narrative, Renner opens the essay by connecting their experiences with goal-setting and dream-chasing all the way back to a memorable childhood experience:

This lighthearted–but relevant!--story about the moment when Renner first developed a passion for a specific career (“finding the goldbug”) provides an anchor point for the rest of the essay. As Renner pivots to describing their current dreams and goals–working in nanomedicine–the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” is reflected in Renner’s experiments, rejections, and new discoveries.

Though Renner tells multiple stories about their quest to “find the goldbug,” or, in other words, pursue their passion, each story is connected by a unifying theme; namely, that as we search and grow over time, our goals will transform…and that’s okay! By the end of the essay, Renner uses the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” to reiterate the relevance of the opening story:

While the earlier parts of the essay convey Renner’s core message by showing, the final, concluding paragraph sums up Renner’s insights by telling. By briefly and clearly stating the relevance of the goldbug metaphor to their own philosophy on goals and dreams, Renner demonstrates their creativity, insight, and eagerness to grow and evolve as the journey continues into college.

An Engaging, Individual Voice

This essay uses many techniques that make Renner sound genuine and make the reader feel like we already know them.

Technique #1: humor. Notice Renner's gentle and relaxed humor that lightly mocks their younger self's grand ambitions (this is different from the more sarcastic kind of humor used by Stephen in the first essay—you could never mistake one writer for the other).

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver.

I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Renner gives a great example of how to use humor to your advantage in college essays. You don’t want to come off as too self-deprecating or sarcastic, but telling a lightheartedly humorous story about your younger self that also showcases how you’ve grown and changed over time can set the right tone for your entire essay.

Technique #2: intentional, eye-catching structure. The second technique is the way Renner uses a unique structure to bolster the tone and themes of their essay . The structure of your essay can have a major impact on how your ideas come across…so it’s important to give it just as much thought as the content of your essay!

For instance, Renner does a great job of using one-line paragraphs to create dramatic emphasis and to make clear transitions from one phase of the story to the next:

Suddenly the destination of my pickle car was clear.

Not only does the one-liner above signal that Renner is moving into a new phase of the narrative (their nanoparticle research experiences), it also tells the reader that this is a big moment in Renner’s story. It’s clear that Renner made a major discovery that changed the course of their goal pursuit and dream-chasing. Through structure, Renner conveys excitement and entices the reader to keep pushing forward to the next part of the story.

Technique #3: playing with syntax. The third technique is to use sentences of varying length, syntax, and structure. Most of the essay's written in standard English and uses grammatically correct sentences. However, at key moments, Renner emphasizes that the reader needs to sit up and pay attention by switching to short, colloquial, differently punctuated, and sometimes fragmented sentences.

Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research.

In the examples above, Renner switches adeptly between long, flowing sentences and quippy, telegraphic ones. At the same time, Renner uses these different sentence lengths intentionally. As they describe their experiences in new places, they use longer sentences to immerse the reader in the sights, smells, and sounds of those experiences. And when it’s time to get a big, key idea across, Renner switches to a short, punchy sentence to stop the reader in their tracks.

The varying syntax and sentence lengths pull the reader into the narrative and set up crucial “aha” moments when it’s most important…which is a surefire way to make any college essay stand out.

Renner's essay is very strong, but there are still a few little things that could be improved.

Connecting the research experiences to the theme of “finding the goldbug.”  The essay begins and ends with Renner’s connection to the idea of “finding the goldbug.” And while this metaphor is deftly tied into the essay’s intro and conclusion, it isn’t entirely clear what Renner’s big findings were during the research experiences that are described in the middle of the essay. It would be great to add a sentence or two stating what Renner’s big takeaways (or “goldbugs”) were from these experiences, which add more cohesion to the essay as a whole.

Give more details about discovering the world of nanomedicine. It makes sense that Renner wants to get into the details of their big research experiences as quickly as possible. After all, these are the details that show Renner’s dedication to nanomedicine! But a smoother transition from the opening pickle car/goldbug story to Renner’s “real goldbug” of nanoparticles would help the reader understand why nanoparticles became Renner’s goldbug. Finding out why Renner is so motivated to study nanomedicine–and perhaps what put them on to this field of study–would help readers fully understand why Renner chose this path in the first place.

4 Essential Tips for Writing Your Own Essay

How can you use this discussion to better your own college essay? Here are some suggestions for ways to use this resource effectively.

#1: Get Help From the Experts

Getting your college applications together takes a lot of work and can be pretty intimidatin g. Essays are even more important than ever now that admissions processes are changing and schools are going test-optional and removing diversity standards thanks to new Supreme Court rulings .  If you want certified expert help that really makes a difference, get started with  PrepScholar’s Essay Editing and Coaching program. Our program can help you put together an incredible essay from idea to completion so that your application stands out from the crowd. We've helped students get into the best colleges in the United States, including Harvard, Stanford, and Yale.  If you're ready to take the next step and boost your odds of getting into your dream school, connect with our experts today .

#2: Read Other Essays to Get Ideas for Your Own

As you go through the essays we've compiled for you above, ask yourself the following questions:

• Can you explain to yourself (or someone else!) why the opening sentence works well?
• Look for the essay's detailed personal anecdote. What senses is the author describing? Can you easily picture the scene in your mind's eye?
• Find the place where this anecdote bridges into a larger insight about the author. How does the essay connect the two? How does the anecdote work as an example of the author's characteristic, trait, or skill?
• Check out the essay's tone. If it's funny, can you find the places where the humor comes from? If it's sad and moving, can you find the imagery and description of feelings that make you moved? If it's serious, can you see how word choice adds to this tone?

Make a note whenever you find an essay or part of an essay that you think was particularly well-written, and think about what you like about it . Is it funny? Does it help you really get to know the writer? Does it show what makes the writer unique? Once you have your list, keep it next to you while writing your essay to remind yourself to try and use those same techniques in your own essay.

#3: Find Your "A-Ha!" Moment

All of these essays rely on connecting with the reader through a heartfelt, highly descriptive scene from the author's life. It can either be very dramatic (did you survive a plane crash?) or it can be completely mundane (did you finally beat your dad at Scrabble?). Either way, it should be personal and revealing about you, your personality, and the way you are now that you are entering the adult world.

Check out essays by authors like John Jeremiah Sullivan , Leslie Jamison , Hanif Abdurraqib , and Esmé Weijun Wang to get more examples of how to craft a compelling personal narrative.

#4: Start Early, Revise Often

Let me level with you: the best writing isn't writing at all. It's rewriting. And in order to have time to rewrite, you have to start way before the application deadline. My advice is to write your first draft at least two months before your applications are due.

Let it sit for a few days untouched. Then come back to it with fresh eyes and think critically about what you've written. What's extra? What's missing? What is in the wrong place? What doesn't make sense? Don't be afraid to take it apart and rearrange sections. Do this several times over, and your essay will be much better for it!

For more editing tips, check out a style guide like Dreyer's English or Eats, Shoots & Leaves .

What's Next?

Still not sure which colleges you want to apply to? Our experts will show you how to make a college list that will help you choose a college that's right for you.

Interested in learning more about college essays? Check out our detailed breakdown of exactly how personal statements work in an application , some suggestions on what to avoid when writing your essay , and our guide to writing about your extracurricular activities .

Working on the rest of your application? Read what admissions officers wish applicants knew before applying .

The recommendations in this post are based solely on our knowledge and experience. If you purchase an item through one of our links PrepScholar may receive a commission.

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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Connecticut College Admissions Essay Examples

Year after year we are inundated with the same question: can we see some college essay examples? Although we do not share our clients’ work in order protect their privacy, we are happy to share some of the successful college essay examples provided by admissions committees across the country. So, without further ado, please find four successful personal statements submitted to Connecticut College below:

Riley Anderson ’25, 

Londonderry high school, londonderry, new hampshire.

Contrary to popular belief, mini-golf is very challenging. The unforgiving, neon green turf and the jagged rock formations send my ball spiraling in the wrong direction and careen straight into the roaring waterfall every time. The irony of my inadequate skills, however, is not lost on my younger sister, who routinely avoids obstacles and sinks her ball straight into the hole. Her embarrassing victory dance follows soon after, much to my own dismay. Notwithstanding my mini-golf shortcomings, I am known as “golf girl” by my peers and have learned much about myself and the game as the sole girl on my high school’s golf team.

Growing up hearing tales of the golf team that my father coached and watching the LPGA from my grandfather’s couch instilled me with a passion for golf. Looking up to Annika Sörenstam and other talented women who played with such grace and power ultimately gave me some dynamic, passionate role models to look up to. When the coach cut me from middle school golf tryouts, bright purple junior clubs in hand, I was determined to get better and committed to making myself and my role models proud. I began taking over 100 swings each night and spent countless hours on the putting green dreaming of that match winning putt. After being turned away, the sense of accomplishment in being one of the team’s leaders in the following season was one of the best feelings in the world.

For the past six years, I have become accustomed to the mannerisms, smell, and humor of teenage golf boys. However, arriving at the first match brimming with four teams full of tall, strong boys and not another girl in sight made me gulp. The shorter bathroom line was a bonus when I first arrived at the course, but all was forgotten when I went to take my first shot from the female tee box. My teammate, James, walked up to me, noticing my apprehension, and told me the most random, bizarre joke that I had ever heard. In that moment, I knew my teammates had my back, even if I did not always completely comprehend their humor. Over time, the team grew into a tight-knit group of friends who fit together like a puzzle. James can break a bad round with a laugh, Matt gives the best pep talks, and Drew is reliable for sound shot advice, while my niche emerged as bringing positivity and optimism after a bad shot. This team dynamic continued in school as well, as James comes to me after a bad test, while I see Matt before a big presentation. Whether we are on or off the course, we help each other to succeed.

As the daughter of two teachers, country club simulators and memberships to the area’s elite courses were not options for me. Two summers ago, I took matters into my own hands and got a job cleaning out dirty carts and taking out the trash at the local country club. Scrubbing the spilled adult beverages out of the cup holders and disposing of the deteriorating cigars was not how I pictured spending my summers, but was valuable for the free rounds I played. By the end of the summer, I realized my hard work leveled the playing field between myself and my more affluent opponents.

This gentleman’s sport has become such a significant part of my life. The amount of joy I receive from sinking a lengthy putt or driving my ball straight down the center of the fairway reminds me just how grateful I am to play this sport. My sister might still dance in the parking lot after we play a round of mini-golf, I will join her, because I know that I will continue to play golf, and learn from the game, for the rest of my life.

Edie Banovic ’25,

Newburyport high school, newburyport, massachusetts.

“How many times did I wake up at 4:15 a.m. this summer?” I found myself once again asking this question as I climbed endless stone steps with bruised shins and dirt-filled fingernails. The answer: twenty-two times. I was in a rush to finish the 48th peak before school began in order to fulfill a goal I set in fifth grade after meeting a wild pack of Appalachian Trail through-hikers. I marveled at their determination. Climbing all 48 four thousand foot peaks within New Hampshire is an ambitious goal that takes some people a lifetime to finish. There I was, at 6:15 a.m., gasping for air and wondering who I should blame for the pain.

Maybe I had my parents to blame for my drive to be in the wilderness. They exposed me to the outdoors at a young age, sparking my passion for hiking and backpacking. Having lived in China for four and a half years and traveling the world, I always knew my childhood was unique. Unlike other expatriates, my family dismissed four-star resorts and instead chose to stumble through the alleyways of Hong Kong with an array of camping supplies. As a six-year-old, I was fortunate enough to find myself in Italy running from a wild herd of cattle in the Alps. During our summers in Oregon, instead of renting a car, we pedaled through the hilly streets on a three-person bike. These experiences, that made my family different, instilled in me a sense of adventure.

The 48 strenuous climbs and endless miles also brought beautiful vistas. If we were lucky, we got to end the day at a high mountain hut where we drank endless cups of rich hot chocolate. I would sit in the corner of the dining room engrossed in books about rare lichen. At Mizpah hut, I had the chance to talk with a female naturalist about some of the endangered alpine flora. I sat and stared in awe. I didn’t know that someone could have a job doing field studies in the mountains. I’ve spent the last six years looking at the sides of the trails for the dwarf Cinquefoil she introduced to me. That’s when I knew I wanted to become a hands-on environmentalist so I could spend more time doing the things I love. Maybe I have the naturalist to blame for all the blisters and early mornings on the trail.

Mount Isolation was my last peak. One last push. Number 48. 13.6 miles. After the first grueling thirty minutes, the path opened up and I could see all the way to the Atlantic Ocean. This is the way it always goes. First, the struggle, and then the reward. Mt. Washington glowed like amber. The wind nipped at my fingertips and shook the crooked trees. My heavy breathing competed with the sounds of the white-throated sparrows. I had the entire mountain to myself. Overwhelmed by emotion, I began to cry bittersweet tears. No more waking up at 4:15 a.m. but then again, no more celebratory Cokes at the top. I was done. I decided to let go of the blame for all the early mornings. Instead, I would love to give my fifth grade-self a big “thank you”.

The struggles only augmented the joy I felt on the car ride home with music playing and my feet wiggling in the wind. I felt that I had graduated from my childhood. Hiking over the past seventeen years with my family has created endless memories, yet it’s time for me to start a new chapter of my life. Maybe I’ll hike the Adirondack 46ers, explore sections of the Appalachian Trail, or guide others through the wilderness. But I know I will always continue to look around and search for rare specimens and marvel at the ordinary.

Taylor Austin ’24 ,

Milford high school, milford, new hampshire.

The ground beneath me began to shake as an oil truck instantly burst into flames. A massive ball of fire flared into the sky, illuminating my awestruck eyes. Suddenly, hundreds of gallons of water rushed down onto the truck, safely extinguishing the blaze. “CUT!” a director yelled. I cheered, astonished by the scene I had just witnessed.

My love for Hollywood began with moments like these from my childhood. Disney’s Hollywood Studios was home to attractions like The Great Movie Ride and The Studio Backlot Tour, both of which introduced me to the special effects, intricate illusions, and thrilling stunts seen in professional films. These two attractions were early indicators of my love for filmmaking, I just didn’t know it yet.

Years later, I am still captivated by the magic of cinema. Whether it be a summer blockbuster, an Oscar-hopeful, or a cult classic, I’ll take any opportunity I can get to experience an original film. For a few hours, I can forget about the world around me, becoming completely immersed in the universe on-screen. Characters come alive, their personalities and stories intertwining themselves with real-life experiences of my own.

I’ve always been what you would call a “tomboy”, a far-from-fragile girl who loves football and loathes dresses. Having strong female characters like Hermione Granger and Princess Leia to look up to on-screen has had a profound impact on my confidence as a young woman. Seeing another woman hold her ground and stand up for herself was truly inspiring to me. I may not wield a wand or a blaster, but I’ve certainly used the strength of these characters as a personal inspiration to stay confident and secure in myself.

My passion for film does not end with characterization. I am just as invested in the technical, behind-the-scenes aspects of cinema. Cinematographers bring stunning landscapes and perfectly-framed shots to life, invoking awe and emotion in both casual moviegoers and film fanatics. Lighting designers shape a film’s mood and tone, adding flares of emotion and rich symbolism to climatic scenes.

I still have so much to learn about filmmaking, and I cannot wait to tackle the challenges that come with producing a film. When I do, I know that I’ll put my heart into it. Maybe my protagonist will defy the stereotypes that surround young women, choosing jeans over skirts and football over dance. Maybe she’ll love brisk autumn mornings, and never understand the appeal of hot, sticky, summer afternoons. Maybe she’ll discover her peculiar affinity for both science and cinema. Whichever direction I decide to take my characters and my story, my life experiences will have a huge impact on the final product. This is yet another thing that I love about movies; they are entirely unique to the individual who creates them. No two people could create the same exact film no matter how hard they tried — there’s always a little bit of a director’s soul woven into their work.

I’m still unsure whether I’ll follow my passion for film into a full-time career or a part-time hobby. If I decide to pursue filmmaking, I hope to use my platform to spread a message of hope, perseverance, and strength. Films can reach millions, possibly even billions of people, giving me the perfect opportunity to make a profound impact on someone’s life. If just one person can be inspired by one of my characters, much like I was by Hermione and Leia, I’ll be satisfied. Even if I never sell out theaters or break a box office record, I will have achieved success if I can make someone’s life just a little bit better through my work. Through filmmaking, I hope to invoke the same sense of wonder and awe that I once felt as I experienced the magic of cinema for the very first time.

Luke Sparreo ’24 ,

Prospect high school, chicago, illinois.

These days, birds are losing the battle of favored domestic animal to dogs and cats. At best, they’re an easily forgotten blot in the otherwise clear sky, and at worst, they’re nasty pests associated with filth and disease. But for many years, birds were something much greater, the catalyst of folklore and tales for nearly every culture around the world.

We’ve all heard some iteration of a bird story before: Common characters you might recall include the wise owl, mischievous raven, vain peacock, and motherly hen. I was introduced to these stories early on, first captivated by the avian parables I listened to on CDs, and they became an integral part of my early years. I can still remember proudly reciting “The Ant and the Magpie” word for word to my parents, an important tale reminding listeners to save resources for a time in need, represented by the winter in the animal world.

As I got older, my love for birds persisted, but the influence those childlike stories had on me waned. After all, none of my classmates proclaimed their love of dogs stemmed from a Danish fairytale or Chinese folklore. I figured the reason I loved birds was shallower: I enjoyed the startling, colorful plumage and the joyous calls I heard outside my window. No longer were birds a central part of my identity; instead, they became an answer when I had to state my favorite animal during a summer camp icebreaker.

It wasn’t until I was well into high school, nearly a decade after I last closed the cover, that I found one of my favorite childhood books, “Why Snails Have Shells,” in the depths of my closet. Rediscovering this book reminded me of the importance I placed on the lessons I learned from the cherished bird characters. Leafing through the pages and rereading the familiar stories, I realized the straightforward teachings of the birds were more relevant to my current life than they ever were in my childhood. Birds once again were not simply my favorite animal, they guided the way I reacted in challenging situations, which – like for most of my peers – came in a barrage as I got older.

The lesson that permeates my life today is from an old Chinese proverb, famously summed up by poet Maya Angelou as “A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.” High school life, especially for my generation, is hyper-focused on the approval of others. Instagram is littered with polls asking if outfits are “ok,” popularity is measured by the average number of comments you get in response to your posts, and every joke uttered is followed by a scan of the room to make sure at least someone is laughing. Contrastingly, the bird doesn’t focus on the answer it receives from its song; in fact, it doesn’t even expect an answer. The bird sings because it wishes to, because of the joy it experiences when doing so.

It can be easy to get swept away in the desire to please, but the personal mantra I’ve adopted reminds me of the importance of doing things for the sake of making yourself happy, not others. I build relationships I genuinely value, I invest my time in activities I love to do, and I express myself in ways that bring me joy. Although the stories and proverbs I learned when I was younger originated from distant times and places, they have woven themselves into my values and shaped me into the person I am today.

In the dimly lit room, I sat huddled under my lamp as my fingers repeated the rhythmic movements of the needle disappearing and reappearing under the banarsi fabric while I carefully folded its edges, taming the wayward golden threads to patch it over a hole burnt in the citrine mysore silk lehnga (a wide-hemmed skirt). Accentuated with hundreds of golden sequins and zardozi work on its hem, shining whenever it caught the light of the lamp, the eight and a half yards of fabric seemed like a jeweled sea at my feet. Trying to be as quiet as possible, I imagined the joy I’d see in my sister’s eyes who had gone to bed a while ago crying her eyes out over a dream dress gone to ‘irreparable’ disaster the night before Eid.

Tying off the final loose thread, I held it up to the light, proud how her lehnga sparkled even more than before and quietly delivered to her room. Salvaging the day for my sister was a risk worth taking.

The next morning as my sister fawned over the new design, came the reaction I was bracing for.

“Is this what you were doing all night?”

I could hear the disdain in my father’s voice, disappointed over his son’s ‘feminine inclinations’. Something that has always gotten me in trouble with him, from ditching my toy cars to play with Barbie dolls to being too interested in my mother’s makeup.

“He’s going to become a darzi (tailor) when he grows up!” my friends would snicker at my craftiness with the needle and thread.

The pressure of fitting the stereotypical gender roles followed me everywhere – my teachers’ snickers at declaring pink my favorite color, my friends’ expressions when I talked about facials and manicures, and my mother’s horror on spending more time organizing my wardrobe by color than playing in the street.

The world that put clear lines between pinks and blues; barbies and hot wheels; being well kempt to manly ruggedness, had me confused. The overwhelming external stimulus was telling me that to fit in and to be accepted I had to hide my true self and mirror what is expected of me.

I tried to fit in, suppressing the fragments of interests resurfacing ever so often, to avoid eruption of ridicule. I brushed my passions away like pieces of leftover fabric.

Just like that night when restoring my sister’s dream brought my thread and needle out; my dreams broke to the surface again standing in front of the school notice board. My gaze fixed on the poster announcing the male modeling competition; I was already choosing between khaki chinos with crisp white Italian slim fit dress shirt paired with a sleek navy blazer or a black skinny necktie.

As I filled in the form, I could imagine the field day of sly sarcastic jokes on my effeminate ways. But filling in that form was my catharsis – signing my name was my defiance to carry on a charade to hide my true self.

Winning the competition took out some of the sting from the jokes but it wasn’t until a sense of liberation set in as the scissors of society’s disapproval lost its sharp point. And while my father’s disapproval still makes me falter in my tracks but I’d rather have him realize that I can be his son and still be my true self instead of trying to become someone neither of us would recognize in the end. The slightest glimmer in the corner of his eyes as I brought in my awards tells me that my hope is not displaced.

So, one after the other I collected stowed away pieces of myself that didn’t fit the society’s approval and using the thread of resilience I sewed them together for the fabric of my being to become a true reflection of everything I am and aspire to be.

Moqu Alqudah ’23 ,

King’s academy, madaba, jordan.

YouTube taught me everything, from simple tasks I was too insecure to ask about- such as how to correctly toast bread- to what defines me now, being a dancer. I remember one night, I was sitting on the guest room rug with my small Samsung phone, looking up videos. Trying to learn how to do a coffee grinder, a breakdance move. I remained there an hour, tirelessly attempting to learn this one move— that every break-dancer made seem so easy—over and over again. After the extensive and what seemed to be an infinite hour. I did one, jumping up and down in the air with jubilance. I instantly went down for a second attempt, breaking the shackles of failure with maximum momentum. I continued, proceeding counter-clockwise, moving with a kind of elegance that can only be associated with a mindset for success. The rush of excitement blinded me, ending up in smashing the leg of the table. My mom rushed in frantically; she noticed the broken table. A look of disappointment is all I took away from that night. The shackles were fastened back on.

Growing up, I did not have much to pride myself on. All I could do was dream, imagine, and fantasize. Dream of being other people. Dream of being an incredible dancer. Dream of being an astounding drummer. Dream of being an amazing computer scientist. Dream of being anything at all, but myself. I began my late passion for dancing when I was 12. There was only one thing stopping me from starting early—the shackled opportunities I was given. The opportunities for which I longed to be tangible, I could only dream of. Instead, I was left with nothing of the sort. I had to just teach myself with practice and mere experimentation. That is the root of my art. I only had YouTube to teach me the things I know today. It was a tough road. It still is a tough road. Nothing is changing.

I am faced with the challenge of competing against people from all around the world for the same position: people that have tutors, classes, workshops, equipment, and the opportunity to travel abroad to learn what they love. I stayed home and worked. I worked twice as hard to obtain only half the expertise they were able to acquire. I worked without aid, gripping onto my drive: the drive to show the world that you can make anything out of nothing.

Going into King’s as a freshman was difficult, working with my first dance teacher; Mr. Ryuji Yamaguchi, who introduced me to styles of dance that are shameful in Arab culture. He encouraged me to experiment with all elements limitlessly. Months passed by with the Annual dance concert approaching slowly; practicing until the night was upon me. It was time. Time to show the worth of working from nothing but your own passion, time to break the shackles. From contemporary duets, group pieces, hip-hop solos, and Bollywood, I danced my heart out and completed the show with immense success. In the intense moment of the final bow of the show, in which emotions were already running high, I caught a glimpse of my mother’s eyes: her hazy, teary eyes and a divine smile accompanied by the repeated motion of clapping. I came to the realization that the fight was decisively over, the shackles finally demolished. I was fazed. I still am. It is all borne in my head now. Utopia can be found in art. It is the most rewarding work anyone can do, working hours over hours to create something beautiful, something that was ceased to exist until created by you. After all the energy you have has been invested into expressing your thoughts and ideas, you have the sweet satisfaction of being able to finally take a step back, peruse, and say with pride, “I created this”.

Hayley Minar ’23,

The bromfield school, harvard, massachusetts.

Like most teenagers, I am expected to do household chores I would rather avoid. I do my share of feeding the dogs and mowing the lawn, but growing up in a two hundred and thirty-four-year-old tavern has meant that my experiences and responsibilities go well beyond the usual fare—like when I discovered my cats meowing and leaping at two chimney swifts that had fallen down the fireplace and were frantically circling my room. Once, during a Nor’Easter, I woke up to find that snow was blowing through the seams of the house’s original window panes. I swept up the little, swirling drifts on my bedroom floor, taped up the windows, and went back to bed. It was in times like these that I was just a bit envious of my friends’ newer, weathertight homes, but deep inside, I knew I would not trade sleeping in extra layers in my quirky, old Harvard, Massachusetts home for any other place.

Since my parents bought it as a fixer-upper, I am often recruited to work on projects like glazing windows, spackling sheetrock, and painting rooms. This past summer, I begrudgingly agreed to help repair the mortar joints in the fieldstone foundation of our basement. I hauled an eighty-pound bag of cement and mixed it with water into a peanut butter-like consistency. I grabbed a gob from the wheelbarrow and got to work stuffing it into the deep crevices between the jumble of stones, troweling it smooth and brushing it to create a finished texture. The hours spent working, much of it on my hands and knees, gave me a lot of time for self-reflection. Undisturbed by text messages or buzzing FaceTime requests, I allowed my mind to wander to the far reaches of my imagination in the quiet solitude of the cellar. Sometimes I reflected on what I should have said in a conversation with a friend, thought through an argument around a current political issue, or pondered ways to frame my essays for summer reading assignments.

Working with my hands, I appreciated the art of forming and sculpting the cement into place, realizing that it was just as creative a process as writing, editing and reworking my essays and poems. It was an iterative and tiring process to get it right. Dripping with sweat, the grinding physical effort from having to work quickly before the cement hardened mirrored my exhaustion in a race I had rowed in last year— although the weather conditions had been very different. At the Head of the Fish Regatta, I had rowed for three miles through the cold, driving rain, facing a fifteen miles-per-hour headwind—feeling as if my arms and legs were on fire—in order to finish.

Good mortaring requires technical precision, speed and strength. I needed to mix the mortar in the correct proportions; work carefully so I did not miss any gaps; and most of all, I needed to persevere, working until the entire wall was repointed. Eventing requires a similar mastery of multiple skills in order to succeed in the three distinct phases of competition. In dressage, my buckskin horse Eli and I needed to work together as one, in calm precision and balance; in show jumping, we needed the focus and technical skills to count strides and launch at the right moment; and in cross-country, we needed the strength and endurance to gallop several miles over fences, across ditches, and through water obstacles.

Whether handling a bucket of wet cement or a green horse, I recognized that having the patience and determination to keep improving despite hardship, tedium or discomfort was essential to reach any mental or physical goal, be it winning a competition, writing an essay or rebuilding a wall. Standing back from the finished fieldstone wall, I basked in the accomplishment—not just of finishing the chore—but of discovering the zen in the art of mortar maintenance.

Rebecca Shapiro ’23,

Washington international school, washington d.c..

The air thickened with red dust as I walked into the basement of Washington Studio School for my first sculpting class – a way to be creative after a stressful day. As I pulled back a thick curtain to enter, I looked around the room, examining the surfaces, all covered in a thin layer of that same dust. The bookshelves behind me were sporting a small collection of sculptures.

We were given a 4’ by 6’ block of clay to mold into a woman that was sitting in front of us. I stared at the block of clay, unable to imagine how to start. The woman next to me immediately started shaping her rust-colored slab. She took clumps from the bottom of the piece, adding it to the top, taking pieces away to form shoulders and arms. I spent more than an appropriate amount of time watching her work. I was amazed by the way she could see the woman inside her block of clay.

I turned back to my sculpture and gingerly shaved off a piece of clay from the top corner. I continued to work at that corner and that corner only as my instructor travelled around the room, visiting each of his students to offer tips and suggestions. When he made it to my table, he glanced at my piece. I had transformed the 4’ by 6’ rectangular prism into a pentagonal prism. He took one of my tools and started shaving away clay and suggested that I remove even more. He continued to visit the rest of his students as I continued to shave miniscule pieces of clay off of my now hexagonal prism.

I wanted to act on his advice, I wanted to take this opportunity to learn, but I did not want to do something wrong. I was afraid of the permanence of my choices. This fear continued to hold me back throughout the 3-hour lesson. By the end of the class, rather than my piece looking like the model sitting in front of me, my piece looked like Mario from the 1985 Super Mario Bros. I left the class, wondering when I started letting fear control my actions.

I remembered that I used to quite literally jump into new situations. The first time I went on a chair lift, for example, I had been so excited to “hit the slopes” that instead of waiting for the chair lift to reach the end, I leaped off 8 feet too soon. Luckily, my dad caught me and held onto me until we reached the end of the lift.

The next week, I was determined to reclaim that feeling of fearlessness to make progress on my sculpture. This time, I took out clumps, rather than slithers. When my instructor reached my table, he pointed to plenty of problems with my piece. The arm was too high, the legs looked like a yeti’s, and the head took the shape of a balloon. But I realized that at least I was doing it — and I was enjoying it, too.

My final piece was in no way a replica of the model who sat in front of me during those lessons: it was riddled with errors. But, while the person I was when I first entered the classroom may have hated the fact that she could see all the mistakes in her final structure, I now appreciate that I can see them, and that I can see how far I’ve come since making them. No matter how deep under the surface of my sculpture the mistake might be, I know it is there. Every crack, air bubble, slip and score, is a working component in my sculpture. And I know that, like my sculpture, I’ve been shaped by my mistakes, too: as long as I want to keep becoming myself, I’ll need to keep making them.

Lorena De Leon ’22,

George washington high school, chicago, illinois.

Had I written this essay three years ago, I would have written with utmost passion about my desire to be a cardiologist. I would have shared that cardiology had lifted the veil placed on my eyes to blind me from my true essence – saving lives. I would have continued to share that it exhibited two of my most accented strengths: my attention to detail and my ability to value each person if though their soul was a reflection of my own. However, most importantly, I felt it was my destiny to grant others what my mother’s cardiologist had granted her: a healthier and rejuvenated life. It is three years later and I do not have a desire to be a cardiologist. The dream I had for cardiology was solely a fabrication of what I believed to be most just. I have a way with words, and I am lyrical. My sweet symphonies are the essence of my being, yet I am not an aspiring songwriter nor am I an aspiring musician. I am a writer. With each word I craft, a part of my soul lives on beyond my years. It turns out that the magic of my words was so powerful, my soul had been deceived. For years, I had been writing about cardiology and science as though the letters c-a-r-d-i-o-l-o-g-y were coursing through my blood, and were tattooed to my heart. Dreams consisted of me writing novels of my career as a cardiologist, sharing my encounters and experience of being a cardiologist. My love for writing had become so pronounced that the passion I had been composing with was mistaken as a passion for cardiology. As a child, I never acknowledged writing as anything more than a hobby. When I would put pen to paper I would solely describe it as just writing. It was never just writing. It was my life; it is who I am. Despite my undying love for this artform, I would tell myself that cardiology was what I wanted, even with the distance and disconnect I felt with cardiology. Regardless of how scholarly and recognized cardiology is, I had felt as though I was settling. However, that all changed. It was a single sentence that unlocked the volta of my life’s story: If you do something you love, you never have to work a day in your life. This sentence, which I heard from an advisor, redirected my thoughts from who I was to who I wanted to be. It was in that moment that my initial thought was not of cardiology, it was of an image of life beyond its limits and a world of wonders, pen to paper, and the flight of young Lorena’s dreams. It was an image of writing. I had always feared that no one would understand my love for writing, nor the bond I had formed with writing. When speaking with a person who does not possess my same passion, it’s as though our conversation is not a conversation at all, but rather a sharing of different languages. They cannot grasp the idea that writing is not solely descriptive language, it is not “red, yellow, blue,” as my aunt would describe it. Writing is the core of my being. It is engraved in my soul. Without it, I would not exist. Writing could never restrain me, because the one thing it offers me that nothing else in the world ever could was the ability to not only think however I wanted to think, but to also be whatever I wanted to be. I had begun a story I had praised for ten years of my life; it was a story I thought I knew the words to like the back of my hand, but the words had drifted and my dream of cardiology had become blurred by my true love and destiny – becoming a writer.

Matthew Giuttari ’22,

Loomis chaffee school, windsor, connecticut.

Piece by Piece: Building My Reality At this point in my life, I am used to the chuckles I receive upon telling my friends that I, in fact, love Legos. Growing up in a house of four children was a hectic environment to say the least; an escape from the chaos of siblings was much needed. As a kid, sitting down and concentrating on one task was never my intention, rather I was constantly energetic, chasing and being chased by my siblings.

Building Lego sets had always been a way to minimize any stressors that were going on at the time, or to simply relax and enjoy the challenge. My first Lego set was given to me at a very young age, my seventh birthday, and although excited, I was puzzled with what I was supposed to accomplish. I knew that Luke Skywalker was going to need a little more assistance than I could offer at that age, so after countless hours of struggling and persisting, I inevitably succumbed to the numerous offers of help. Each birthday and holiday moving forward, I requested Legos in order to perfect my ability, and each time I gained expertise. Finally, I encountered my own “Eureka!” moment, individually completing my first kit, a miniature replica of the Seattle Space Needle, solely on willpower and sheer excitement. My worn, but comfortable bedroom floor had become my safe haven for letting my mind wander and to create sculptures I would have never thought of if it hadn’t been for my obsession with those miniscule, plastic blocks. I hadn’t usually been the most creative, artistic person; however, when I sat down in my room next to my collection and freed my mind, I suddenly become an artist of my own definition. Soon, as I got older, more unique ideas for pieces flooded my mind rather than following strict instructions. These ideas had resulted in the possibility of designing and constructing certain buildings and entities, of course without any real-world consequences. My bedroom floor eventually turned into a skyline resembling that of New York City, skyscrapers grazing the top of my bed and Rockefeller Center spanning from my desk to my closet. Arriving home late from school or a strenuous practice, I was relieved to lay down next to my meaningful, personalized city. I rarely construct Lego structures nowadays; however, my obsession with those tiny bricks embedded a passion in me that will never cease to follow me. Arriving to a boarding school as a first-year student, I was extremely hesitant and nervous. Though I would soon be a part of a team, I sought an escape from my anxiety of being away from home and especially my bedroom. Though I hadn’t brought along any of my Legos, (I’m sure you can imagine why), I signed up for a new class which taught the basics of ceramics and sculpting figures. Ceramics was an entire new entity to me and I enjoyed every second of it. I had been constructing simple bowls and plates to ease myself into the new medium I was using. Soon, however, I became more confident and adventurous with my designs. After hours in the studio at school, I ultimately transferred my projects back to my personal studio, my bedroom, to join the company of my surrounding Lego projects. Not only providing me with entertainment, Legos left an everlasting mark on my capacity to experiment with new endeavors I would rarely attempt. Legos hold a special place in my mind and my heart due to the effect they have had on my curiosity, creativity and overall optimism. I will continue to design my sculptures, my essays, and my future, which is certainly guided by my imagination. Having constructed those guided, age appropriate sets and eventually designing unique pieces, I developed a knack for sculpting and imagining brand new ideas I transfer into my everyday life.

Julissa Roldan ’22,

Holyoke high school, holyoke, massachusetts.

Hurricane Maria devastated Puerto Rico, and my Massachusetts city had also been torn apart. In a city where nearly half of the population is Puerto Rican, the destination of people fleeing the island had immediately come into question, “Why are they coming here? Our schools already don’t have enough books for our students, never mind Puerto Rican refugees.” These are words out of my French and Irish uncle’s mouth. As he looked in my brown eyes and proclaimed his son’s lack of an AP English book was more important than the life and well-being of a child that looks like me. It is enlightening to begin to take notice of the ignorance that surrounds your identity. It is eye-opening to hear words of hate and intolerance spew from the mouths of people you love, people who claim to love you. I have heard people express how they really feel when they forget about my dark complexion and let a joke slip, to follow up with, “Well not you, you’re not really Puerto Rican.” To be seven years old and shrouded in a feeling of discomfort for who you are; making an effort to sound and act “white” among my white family and friends. Thanksgiving with my blue-eyed and freckled cousins was an event that displaced me. My Abuela’s house was where my Puerto Rican cousins flourished. They spoke fluent Spanish and shook their heads when I asked what they were saying. I “didn’t care” about my culture to them. It is in this limbo that I find myself more aware of the dubious eyes on me when I’m asked if I am Muslim or Italian (as if Muslim is an ethnicity). When they compliment my “different” name, their eyes widen when they learn that I am from the “whiter” side of the city, but nod in understanding when I clarify that my Mother is white. I notice that these glances are consonant with the fact that the grocery store I work at in the neighboring town made thousands of dollars in their donation cups for Hurricane Harvey victims, but not one mention of Puerto Rico’s disastrous conditions. It is from these glances that I realize both these adversities are not of equal importance to the store where I was one of four Hispanic employees. I am Puerto Rican and Irish and French and Polish and all these backgrounds have allowed me to see unique perspectives, but they are not a single definition of me. I am a daughter, a student, a friend, a sister. I am everything I love and every book I’ve read and all the people I’ve helped and all the places I’ve traveled. I am all of my passions and the closed minds I intend on opening and the thirst for life I intend on quenching. I have grown up with a feeling of exclusion from both sides of my heritage, yet in the process of fighting for a sense of belonging I have embraced myself for more than the color of my skin or the accent of my father. My identity is so much more than an uncomfortable glance from a person who can’t place my nose with a nation. I am more than a prejudice comment. What I have truly come to understand by living at the intersection of two very different situations is how ignorance develops so easily from not being able to empathize. My white uncle will never know what it is like to be a minority. He will never feel the stares I have felt, he will never be called a spic, he will never be disadvantaged for his light complexion. It is only when people place themselves as close as possible to the reality of others do they begin to rid themselves of the subconscious prejudices our society places upon us.

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Reflection: Dartmouth Essays That Worked

One writer looks back on her admissions process in light of the dartmouth’s new book, “50 dartmouth application essays that worked.”.

Five years ago, I began my Common Application essay with the following sentence: “To quote Ferris Bueller, ‘Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.’ I don’t intend to miss my life.” Half a decade later, those words still ring true. 

Any college was taking a chance when they admitted a girl who quoted a film famous for encouraging students to play hooky. Not only did I open with this line, I hammered the point home as I described my disillusionment with valuing academic learning over personal experience — I was done running on the high school hamster wheel. When people ask me what essay got me into Dartmouth, I usually respond, “An essay about having a really fun summer.” While those words are true, there’s a deeper moral to the story — as incredible as Dartmouth’s academic resources are, and as academically rigorous as my high school had been, I wanted to learn outside of the classroom, to learn by doing, to learn from my friends. “As much as I value my academic identity and as far as my passion for learning goes, my interpersonal relationships teach me just as much,” I wrote.

I was honestly surprised when Dartmouth accepted me in April 2020. I had been deferred early decision, and the last student who had gotten into Dartmouth from my public Florida high school was a cross-country recruit in 2016. Like tens of thousands of high school seniors, I had the grades, test scores and extracurriculars, but I was full of self-doubt. I was also completely burnt out. Was I really “Ivy League material”? I certainly didn’t feel it. Looking over my statistics, I was just another data point. Not Ellie Anderson, but applicant 8,677. 

My “Why Dartmouth?”  and supplement essays allowed me to make my case. I crafted three versions of the former, and I could have kept going. I labored over my words carefully, drafting response after response, but it was challenging only having 250 words to respond, in some form, to a prompt that every Dartmouth applicant has read: “It is, Sir … a small college. And yet, there are those who love it!” Other than the encouraging words and flamboyant edits from my high school English teacher, I didn’t know if they were any good. Where to begin …

I would have loved to understand what makes an admissions essay compelling when I was in the throes of applying to college. Recently, The Dartmouth published “50 Dartmouth Application Essays That Worked,” a compilation of successful admissions essays. Looking through this collection, I felt like I was stepping back into my 17-year-old self. The selection includes essays featuring many of the qualities Dartmouth seems to be looking for in its students, or at least those I’ve found in my friends: compassion, curiosity, humility and a collaborative spirit. 

The book opens with essays about environment and nature before progressing to the expected categories: academic interest, arts, heritage, identity, sports and, of course, “miscellaneous.” 

A few stories grabbed me for their honesty, especially one that begins, “I have a complicated relationship with the truth.” I was hooked — it was real and raw. Her father suffers from bipolar disorder even though, to the outside world, nothing appears to be wrong. She has a secret too — she’s seeing a girl. How is one supposed to apply to college when their entire world is being torn apart, “standing in the middle of the bridge and setting fire to both ends,” as she says. But she learns a valuable lesson — to live her own truth, not anyone else’s. 

When I was applying to colleges, I was given the following advice: “Don’t make your admissions essay a sob story.” But this essay certainly isn’t a pity party, which proves you can be honest and address your difficulties in the span of a few hundred words. These kinds of essays instead place their writers’ most beautiful strengths and flaws on full display.

Another such essay begins, “My feet live in infamy.” Yes, you can write your Common Application essay about your gnarled and calloused feet. Although the story begins with an anecdote of “ugly” feet, it becomes so much more — a toe-centric reflection. As the writer’s skin became thicker, she found her voice as well. She comes out of her shell in high school, learning to speak up after several tumultuous adolescent years as an introvert. By the end, she’s finally ready to bear her infamous feet and use her voice.

A deep current of intellectual curiosity runs across the essays, too. I laughed when I read a story about an applicant playing Super Mario Bros on a childhood road trip. The writer makes an in-game blunder, sending Mario hurdling into a turtle. “It was then that the terrible realization that curled my six-year-old toes hit me: Mario would return to play again, but when I die, I will not,” they said. What could have been a decade-long existential spiral instead drove the writer to philosophy and math, where they found solace in understanding the world rather than cowering at the unknown. 

These writers are brave — both for sharing their stories to the black-box admissions panel and for allowing us readers a peek years later. On a campus where we often interact in passing “Hey, what’s up”-isms, reading the diverse selection of essays has grounded me once more in an understanding of what makes Dartmouth, Dartmouth. Students here are radically courageous in their quests for knowledge, acts of kindness and pursuits of greatness. In these essays, 650 words no longer looks limiting but becomes the etchings of a beautiful cohort.

After re-reading my own essay alongside those published, it struck me. As a 17-year-old sending off a piece of yourself to a nebulous online portal, it can be difficult to envision your future — your story is a moment in time caught in between all that you’ve been and all that you hope to become. I’m asking myself this question again as I look forward to my senior year at Dartmouth and re-read my ambitions and fears from the essay I penned in 2019. It’s been a lot of laughing at my naïvete, cringing at a heavy-handed application of adjectives and finding pride in my values.

Not only is this book a tool for Dartmouth applicants, but it’s a time capsule from the Class of 2023 to the Class of 2026, whose essays are included. This is who we were at 17. Looking back at my essay, so much has changed between now and then. How could it have not? But I see the seeds of who I’ve become in my essay, like an incantation: “I learn to understand others and to understand myself.”

Double Header: Spotlight on two-sport varsity athletes

Graduate student reported missing

Looking back at recent unionization efforts at the College

Dsg fails vote of no confidence in college leadership, beilock: college president apologizes for community harm, letter to the editor: we dartmouth faculty members support the recent actions by college president sian leah beilock, individuals arrested at the may 1 protest share their experiences.

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University of Connecticut | UConn’s 2023-24 Essay Prompts

Medicine program essay 3.

Please describe a role you have held in a meaningful group/peer-related activity.

Special Program in Law Essay 1

Please discuss why you are applying to the Special Program in Law and how you feel your undergraduate studies at UConn will further your interest in law.

Special Program in Law Essay 2

What opportunities or events have you experienced which informed your interest in the study of law and what do you hope to contribute to the profession of ethical legal practice?

Medicine Program Essay 1

Please briefly share the influences on your decision to pursue the field of medicine, including shadowing experiences and other medical related activities.

Medicine Program Essay 2

Please describe your interests, activities, hobbies, etc., outside the area of health sciences.

Special Program in Dental Medicine Essay 1

Please briefly share the influences on your decision to pursue the field of dentistry, including shadowing experiences and other dental-related activities.

Special Program in Dental Medicine Essay 2

Special program in dental medicine essay 3.

Why are you applying to the Special Program in Dental Medicine at the University of Connecticut

Common App Personal Essay

The essay demonstrates your ability to write clearly and concisely on a selected topic and helps you distinguish yourself in your own voice. What do you want the readers of your application to know about you apart from courses, grades, and test scores? Choose the option that best helps you answer that question and write an essay of no more than 650 words, using the prompt to inspire and structure your response. Remember: 650 words is your limit, not your goal. Use the full range if you need it, but don‘t feel obligated to do so.

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you‘ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

What will first-time readers think of your college essay?

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What I’ve Learned From My Students’ College Essays

The genre is often maligned for being formulaic and melodramatic, but it’s more important than you think.

By Nell Freudenberger

Most high school seniors approach the college essay with dread. Either their upbringing hasn’t supplied them with several hundred words of adversity, or worse, they’re afraid that packaging the genuine trauma they’ve experienced is the only way to secure their future. The college counselor at the Brooklyn high school where I’m a writing tutor advises against trauma porn. “Keep it brief , ” she says, “and show how you rose above it.”

I started volunteering in New York City schools in my 20s, before I had kids of my own. At the time, I liked hanging out with teenagers, whom I sometimes had more interesting conversations with than I did my peers. Often I worked with students who spoke English as a second language or who used slang in their writing, and at first I was hung up on grammar. Should I correct any deviation from “standard English” to appeal to some Wizard of Oz behind the curtains of a college admissions office? Or should I encourage students to write the way they speak, in pursuit of an authentic voice, that most elusive of literary qualities?

In fact, I was missing the point. One of many lessons the students have taught me is to let the story dictate the voice of the essay. A few years ago, I worked with a boy who claimed to have nothing to write about. His life had been ordinary, he said; nothing had happened to him. I asked if he wanted to try writing about a family member, his favorite school subject, a summer job? He glanced at his phone, his posture and expression suggesting that he’d rather be anywhere but in front of a computer with me. “Hobbies?” I suggested, without much hope. He gave me a shy glance. “I like to box,” he said.

I’ve had this experience with reluctant writers again and again — when a topic clicks with a student, an essay can unfurl spontaneously. Of course the primary goal of a college essay is to help its author get an education that leads to a career. Changes in testing policies and financial aid have made applying to college more confusing than ever, but essays have remained basically the same. I would argue that they’re much more than an onerous task or rote exercise, and that unlike standardized tests they are infinitely variable and sometimes beautiful. College essays also provide an opportunity to learn precision, clarity and the process of working toward the truth through multiple revisions.

When a topic clicks with a student, an essay can unfurl spontaneously.

Even if writing doesn’t end up being fundamental to their future professions, students learn to choose language carefully and to be suspicious of the first words that come to mind. Especially now, as college students shoulder so much of the country’s ethical responsibility for war with their protest movement, essay writing teaches prospective students an increasingly urgent lesson: that choosing their own words over ready-made phrases is the only reliable way to ensure they’re thinking for themselves.

Teenagers are ideal writers for several reasons. They’re usually free of preconceptions about writing, and they tend not to use self-consciously ‘‘literary’’ language. They’re allergic to hypocrisy and are generally unfiltered: They overshare, ask personal questions and call you out for microaggressions as well as less egregious (but still mortifying) verbal errors, such as referring to weed as ‘‘pot.’’ Most important, they have yet to put down their best stories in a finished form.

I can imagine an essay taking a risk and distinguishing itself formally — a poem or a one-act play — but most kids use a more straightforward model: a hook followed by a narrative built around “small moments” that lead to a concluding lesson or aspiration for the future. I never get tired of working with students on these essays because each one is different, and the short, rigid form sometimes makes an emotional story even more powerful. Before I read Javier Zamora’s wrenching “Solito,” I worked with a student who had been transported by a coyote into the U.S. and was reunited with his mother in the parking lot of a big-box store. I don’t remember whether this essay focused on specific skills or coping mechanisms that he gained from his ordeal. I remember only the bliss of the parent-and-child reunion in that uninspiring setting. If I were making a case to an admissions officer, I would suggest that simply being able to convey that experience demonstrates the kind of resilience that any college should admire.

The essays that have stayed with me over the years don’t follow a pattern. There are some narratives on very predictable topics — living up to the expectations of immigrant parents, or suffering from depression in 2020 — that are moving because of the attention with which the student describes the experience. One girl determined to become an engineer while watching her father build furniture from scraps after work; a boy, grieving for his mother during lockdown, began taking pictures of the sky.

If, as Lorrie Moore said, “a short story is a love affair; a novel is a marriage,” what is a college essay? Every once in a while I sit down next to a student and start reading, and I have to suppress my excitement, because there on the Google Doc in front of me is a real writer’s voice. One of the first students I ever worked with wrote about falling in love with another girl in dance class, the absolute magic of watching her move and the terror in the conflict between her feelings and the instruction of her religious middle school. She made me think that college essays are less like love than limerence: one-sided, obsessive, idiosyncratic but profound, the first draft of the most personal story their writers will ever tell.

Nell Freudenberger’s novel “The Limits” was published by Knopf last month. She volunteers through the PEN America Writers in the Schools program.

Essays That Worked

The essays are a place to show us who you are and who you’ll be in our community.

It’s a chance to add depth to something that is important to you and tell the admissions committee more about your background or goals. Below you’ll find selected examples of essays that “worked,” as nominated by our admissions committee. In each of these essays, students were able to share stories from their everyday lives to reveal something about their character, values, and life that aligned with the culture and values at Hopkins.

Read essays that worked from Transfer applicants .

Hear from the class of 2027.

These selections represent just a few examples of essays we found impressive and helpful during the past admissions cycle. We hope these essays inspire you as you prepare to compose your own personal statements. The most important thing to remember is to be original as you share your own story, thoughts, and ideas with us.

Ordering the Disorderly

Ellie’s essay skillfully uses the topic of entropy as an extended metaphor. Through it, we see reflections about who they are and who they aspire to be.

Pack Light, But Be Prepared

In Pablo’s essay, the act of packing for a pilgrimage becomes a metaphor for the way humans accumulate experiences in their life’s journey and what we can learn from them. As we join Pablo through the diverse phases of their life, we gain insights into their character and values.

Tikkun Olam

Julieta illustrates how the concept of Tikkun Olam, “a desire to help repair the world,” has shaped their passions and drives them to pursue experiences at Hopkins.

Kashvi’s essay encapsulates a heartfelt journey of self-discovery and the invaluable teachings of Rock, their 10-year-old dog. Through the lens of their companionship, Kashvi walked us through valuable lessons on responsibility, friendship, patience, and unconditional love.

Classical Reflections in Herstory

Maddie’s essay details their intellectual journey using their love of Greek classics. They incorporate details that reveal the roots of their academic interests: storytelling, literary devices, and translation. As their essay progresses, so do Maddie’s intellectual curiosities.

My Spotify Playlist

Alyssa’s essay reflects on special memories through the creative lens of Spotify playlists. They use three examples to highlight their experiences with their tennis team, finding a virtual community during the pandemic, and co-founding a nonprofit to help younger students learn about STEM.

More essays that worked

We share essays from previously admitted students—along with feedback from our admissions committee—so you can understand what made them effective and how to start crafting your own.

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