example of success profile personal statement

• SUGGESTED TOPICS
• The Magazine
• Newsletters
• Managing Yourself
• Managing Teams
• Work-life Balance
• The Big Idea
• Data & Visuals
• Reading Lists
• Case Selections
• HBR Learning
• Topic Feeds
• Account Settings
• Email Preferences

How to Write a Strong Personal Statement

• Ruth Gotian
• Ushma S. Neill

A few adjustments can get your application noticed.

Whether applying for a summer internship, a professional development opportunity, such as a Fulbright, an executive MBA program, or a senior leadership development course, a personal statement threads the ideas of your CV, and is longer and has a different tone and purpose than a traditional cover letter. A few adjustments to your personal statement can get your application noticed by the reviewer.

• Make sure you’re writing what they want to hear. Most organizations that offer a fellowship or internship are using the experience as a pipeline: It’s smart to spend 10 weeks and $15,000 on someone before committing five years and $300,000. Rarely are the organizations being charitable or altruistic, so align your stated goals with theirs
• Know when to bury the lead, and when to get to the point. It’s hard to paint a picture and explain your motivations in 200 words, but if you have two pages, give the reader a story arc or ease into your point by setting the scene.
• Recognize that the reviewer will be reading your statement subjectively, meaning you’re being assessed on unknowable criteria. Most people on evaluation committees are reading for whether or not you’re interesting. Stated differently, do they want to go out to dinner with you to hear more? Write it so that the person reading it wants to hear more.
• Address the elephant in the room (if there is one). Maybe your grades weren’t great in core courses, or perhaps you’ve never worked in the field you’re applying to. Make sure to address the deficiency rather than hoping the reader ignores it because they won’t. A few sentences suffice. Deficiencies do not need to be the cornerstone of the application.

At multiple points in your life, you will need to take action to transition from where you are to where you want to be. This process is layered and time-consuming, and getting yourself to stand out among the masses is an arduous but not impossible task. Having a polished resume that explains what you’ve done is the common first step. But, when an application asks for it, a personal statement can add color and depth to your list of accomplishments. It moves you from a one-dimensional indistinguishable candidate to someone with drive, interest, and nuance.

• Ruth Gotian is the chief learning officer and associate professor of education in anesthesiology at Weill Cornell Medicine in New York City, and the author of The Success Factor and Financial Times Guide to Mentoring . She was named the #1 emerging management thinker by Thinkers50. You can access her free list of conversation starters and test your mentoring impact . RuthGotian
• Ushma S. Neill is the Vice President, Scientific Education & Training at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. She runs several summer internships and is involved with the NYC Marshall Scholar Selection Committee. ushmaneill

Partner Center

Cookies on Civil Service Careers Site

We use some essential cookies to make this service work.

We’d like to set additional cookies so we can remember your settings, understand how people use the service and make improvements.

You’ve accepted additional cookies. You can change your cookie settings at any time.

You’ve rejected additional cookies. You can change your cookie settings at any time.

The Civil Service

• What is the Civil Service
• Working for the Civil Service
• Our Locations
• Civil Service Networks

What do Civil Servants say?

• Inderjit's life at DFE Inderjit Sanghera is a Change and Engagement Lead at DfE and Co-Chair of the BAME Network.
• Alfonso's life in Cyber Security Alfonso Greenbrook is a former Level 4 Apprentice in Cyber Security Monitoring. He now works in Security and Data Protection in DWP.
• Alison and Dave's life in HMRC Hear from Alison and Dave about what it's like to work within Customer Strategy & Tax Design in HMRC

Early Careers

• Apprenticeships
• Care Leavers Internship Scheme
• Civil Service Fast Stream
• Summer Internship Programme
• Ministry of Justice Unlocked Graduates

Experienced Hires

• Executive Leadership
• Contracting Opportunities
• Evidence House

Supported Schemes

• Prison Leaver Recruitment
• Going Forward into Employment

Applying for a Job

• About the application process

How to write your CV

How to write your personal statement.

• Civil Service Behaviours
• Assessments and Interviews

Supporting your Application

• Great Place to Work for Veterans
• Disability Confident Scheme

Find opportunities that work for you...

Interested in knowing what apprenticeships are available?

Share your feedback, help us improve this site

Your personal statement

The purpose of a personal statement is to showcase your relevant skills and experience against the job requirements.  The statement is your opportunity to give examples of how you fit the requirements of the job.  When writing a personal statement it is important that you:

• Read the job specification so you are clear about the job requirements.
• Outline the skills and experience that you have that are relevant to the job and use examples to help demonstrate this.   Wherever possible include specific facts and figures that demonstrate the tangible results of your work.
• Keep to the word limit. If your statement is too brief it will not provide the required depth of detail and evidence to be assessed fully. 
• Proofread your statement before submitting it to make sure it is clear, easy to read and relevant.

How we recruit

For some jobs, you will be asked to provide a CV (curriculum vitae) as part of your application. Here you can find information on how to write the best CV.

The Civil Service Behaviours are one element of the Success Profile. These are the things that people do that result in effective performance. Read more about why we use Behaviours to assess you here.

Assessments and interviews

The recruitment process, and what evidence is asked for, varies depending on the job you are applying for. Here you can read about the different stages of recruitment.

Success Profiles guides

GOV.UK hosts a huge amount of detailed guidance on the different elements of Success Profiles.

• Search All Scholarships
• Exclusive Scholarships
• Easy Scholarships to Apply For
• No Essay Scholarships
• Scholarships for HS Juniors
• Scholarships for HS Seniors
• Scholarships for College Students
• Scholarships for Grad Students
• Scholarships for Women
• Scholarships for Black Students
• Scholarships
• Student Loans
• College Admissions
• Financial Aid
• Scholarship Winners
• Scholarship Providers

Student-centric advice and objective recommendations

Higher education has never been more confusing or expensive. Our goal is to help you navigate the very big decisions related to higher ed with objective information and expert advice. Each piece of content on the site is original, based on extensive research, and reviewed by multiple editors, including a subject matter expert. This ensures that all of our content is up-to-date, useful, accurate, and thorough.

Our reviews and recommendations are based on extensive research, testing, and feedback. We may receive commission from links on our website, but that doesn’t affect our editors’ opinions. Our marketing partners don’t review, approve or endorse our editorial content. It’s accurate to the best of our knowledge when posted. You can find a complete list of our partners here .

How to Write an Amazing Personal Statement (Includes Examples!)

Lisa Freedland is a Scholarships360 writer with personal experience in psychological research and content writing. She has written content for an online fact-checking organization and has conducted research at the University of Southern California as well as the University of California, Irvine. Lisa graduated from the University of Southern California in Fall 2021 with a degree in Psychology.

Learn about our editorial policies

Zach Skillings is the Scholarships360 Newsletter Editor. He specializes in college admissions and strives to answer important questions about higher education. When he’s not contributing to Scholarships360, Zach writes about travel, music, film, and culture. His work has been published in Our State Magazine, Ladygunn Magazine, The Nocturnal Times, and The Lexington Dispatch. Zach graduated from Elon University with a degree in Cinema and Television Arts.

Bill Jack has over a decade of experience in college admissions and financial aid. Since 2008, he has worked at Colby College, Wesleyan University, University of Maine at Farmington, and Bates College.

Maria Geiger is Director of Content at Scholarships360. She is a former online educational technology instructor and adjunct writing instructor. In addition to education reform, Maria’s interests include viewpoint diversity, blended/flipped learning, digital communication, and integrating media/web tools into the curriculum to better facilitate student engagement. Maria earned both a B.A. and an M.A. in English Literature from Monmouth University, an M. Ed. in Education from Monmouth University, and a Virtual Online Teaching Certificate (VOLT) from the University of Pennsylvania.

The personal statement. It’s one of the most important parts of the entire college application process. This essay is the perfect opportunity to show admissions officers who you are and what makes you stand out from the crowd. But writing a good personal statement isn’t exactly easy. That’s why we’ve put together the ultimate guide on how to nail your personal statement, complete with example essays . Each essay was reviewed and commented upon by admissions expert Bill Jack. Let’s dive in!

Related: How to write an essay about yourself  

What is a personal statement? 

A personal statement is a special type of essay that’s required when you’re applying to colleges and scholarship programs. In this essay, you’re expected to share something about who you are and what you bring to the table. Think of it as a chance to reveal a side of yourself not found in the rest of your application. Personal statements are typically around 400 – 600 words in length. 

What can I write about? 

Pretty much anything, as long as it’s about you . While this is liberating in the sense that your writing options are nearly unlimited, it’s also overwhelming for the same reason. The good news is that you’ll probably be responding to a specific prompt. Chances are you’re applying to a school that uses the Common App , which means you’ll have seven prompts to choose from . Reviewing these prompts can help generate some ideas, but so can asking yourself meaningful questions. 

Below you’ll find a list of questions to ask yourself during the brainstorming process. For each of the following questions, spend a few minutes jotting down whatever comes to mind. 

• What experiences have shaped who you are? 
• What’s special or unique about you or your life story? 
• Who or what has inspired you the most? 
• What accomplishments are you most proud of? 
• What are your goals for the future? How have you arrived at those goals? 
• If your life was a movie, what would be the most interesting scene? 
• What have been some of the biggest challenges in your life? How did you respond and what did you learn? 

The purpose of these questions is to prompt you to think about your life at a deeper level. Hopefully by reflecting on them, you’ll find an essay topic that is impactful and meaningful. In the next section, we’ll offer some advice on actually writing your essay. 

Also see:  How to write a 500 word essay

How do I write my personal statement? 

Once you’ve found a topic, it’s time to start writing! Every personal statement is different, so there’s not really one formula that works for every student. That being said, the following tips should get you started in the right direction:  

1. Freewrite, then rewrite 

The blank page tends to get more intimidating the longer you stare at it, so it’s best to go ahead and jump right in! Don’t worry about making the first draft absolutely perfect. Instead, just get your ideas on the page and don’t spend too much time thinking about the finer details. Think of this initial writing session as a “brain dump”. Take 15-30 minutes to quickly empty all your thoughts onto the page without worrying about things like grammar, spelling, or sentence structure. You can even use bullet points if that helps. Once you have your ideas on the page, then you can go back and shape them exactly how you want. 

2. Establish your theme 

Now that you’ve got some basic ideas down on the page, it’s time to lock in on a theme. Your theme is a specific angle that reflects the central message of your essay. It can be summarized in a sentence or even a word. For example, let’s say you’re writing about how you had to establish a whole new group of friends when you moved to a new city. The theme for this type of essay would probably be something like “adaptation”. Having a theme will help you stay focused throughout your essay. Since you only have a limited number of words, you can’t afford to go off on tangents that don’t relate to your theme. 

3. Tell a story

A lot of great essays rely on a specific scene or story. Find the personal anecdote relevant to your theme and transfer it to the page. The best way to do this is by using descriptive language. Consult the five senses as you’re setting the scene. What did you see, hear, taste, touch, or smell? How were you feeling emotionally? Using descriptive language can really help your essay come to life. According to UPchieve , a nonprofit that supports low income students, focusing on a particular moment as a “ revised version of a memoir ” is one way to keep readers engaged. 

Related: College essay primer: show, don’t tell  

4. Focus on your opening paragraph

Your opening paragraph should grab your reader’s attention and set the tone for the rest of your essay. In most cases, this is the best place to include your anecdote (if you have one). By leading with your personal story, you can hook your audience from the get-go. After telling your story, you can explain why it’s important to who you are. 

Related:  How to start a scholarship essay (with examples)

5. Use an authentic voice 

Your personal statement reflects who you are, so you should use a tone that represents you. That means you shouldn’t try to sound like someone else, and you shouldn’t use fancy words just to show off. This isn’t an academic paper, so you don’t have to adopt a super formal tone. Instead, write in a way that allows room for your personality to breathe. 

6. Edit, edit, edit…

Once you’re done writing, give yourself some time away from the essay. Try to allow a few days to pass before looking at the essay again with fresh eyes. This way, you’re more likely to pick up on spelling and grammatical errors. You may even get some new ideas and rethink the way you wrote some things. Once you’re satisfied, let someone else edit your essay. We recommend asking a teacher, parent, or sibling for their thoughts before submitting. 

Examples of personal statements 

Sometimes viewing someone else’s work is the best way to generate inspiration and get the creative juices flowing. The following essays are written in response to four different Common App prompts: 

Prompt 1: “Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”

When I was eight years old, I wanted a GameCube very badly. For weeks I hounded my dad to buy me one and finally he agreed. But there was a catch. He’d only get me a GameCube if I promised to start reading. Every day I played video games, I would have to pick up a book and read for at least one hour. At that point in my life, reading was just something I had to suffer through for school assignments. To read for pleasure seemed ludicrous. Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about this proposed agreement. But I figured anything was worth it to get my hands on that shiny new video game console, so I bit the bullet and shook my dad’s hand. Little did I know that I had just made a life-changing deal. 

At first, the required hour of reading was a chore — something I had to do so I could play Mario Kart. But it quickly turned into something more than that. To my complete and utter surprise, I discovered that I actually enjoyed reading. One hour turned into two, two turned into three, and after a while I was spending more time reading than I was playing video games. I found myself captivated by the written word, and I read everything I could get my hands on. Lord of the Rings , Percy Jackson , Goosebumps — you name it. I was falling in love with literature, while my GameCube was accumulating dust in the TV stand. 

Soon enough, reading led to writing. I was beginning to come up with my own stories, so I put pen to paper and let my imagination run wild. It started out small. My first effort was a rudimentary picture book about a friendly raccoon who went to the moon. But things progressed. My stories became more intricate, my characters more complex. I wrote a series of science fiction novellas. I tried my hand at poetry. I was amazed at the worlds I could create with the tip of my pen. I had dreams of becoming an author. 

Then somewhere along the way my family got a subscription to Netflix, and that completely changed the way I thought about storytelling. My nose had been buried in books up until then, so I hadn’t really seen a lot of movies. That quickly changed. It seemed like every other day a pair of new DVDs would arrive in the mail (this was the early days of Netflix). Dark Knight, The Truman Show, Inception, Memento — all these great films were coming in and out of the house. And I couldn’t get enough of them. Movies brought stories to life in a way that books could not. I was head over heels for visual storytelling. 

Suddenly I wasn’t writing novels and short stories anymore. I was writing scripts for movies. Now I wanted to transfer my ideas to the big screen, rather than the pages of a book. But I was still doing the same thing I had always done. I was writing, just in a different format. To help with this process, I read the screenplays of my favorite films and paid attention to the way they were crafted. I kept watching more and more movies. And I hadn’t forgotten about my first love, either. I still cherished books and looked to them for inspiration. By the end of my junior year of high school, I had completed two scripts for short films. 

So why am I telling you all this? Because I want to turn my love of storytelling into a career. I’m not totally sure how to do that yet, but I know I have options. Whether it’s film production, creative writing, or even journalism, I want to find a major that suits my ambitions. Writing has taken me a long way, and I know it can take me even further. As I step into this next chapter of my life, I couldn’t be more excited to see how my craft develops. In the meantime, I should probably get rid of that dusty old GameCube. 

Feedback from admissions professional Bill Jack

Essays don’t always have to reveal details about the student’s intended career path, but one thing I like about this essay is that it gives the reader a sense of the why. Why do they want to pursue storytelling. It also shows the reader that they are open to how they pursue their interest. Being open to exploration is such a vital part of college, so it’s also showing the reader that they likely will be open to new things in college. And, it’s always fun to learn a little bit more about the student’s family, especially if the reader can learn about how the students interacts with their family. 

Prompt 2: “The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?”

I remember my first impression of Irvine: weird. It was foggy, stock-full of greenery and eucalyptus trees, and reminded me of my 5th grade trip to a “science camp” which was located in the San Bernardino mountains. Besides Irvine, that was one of the few places in Southern California where you’d find so many non-palm trees. 

Of course, perhaps my initial impression of Irvine was biased, motivated by a desire to stay in my hometown and a fear of the unknown. While that was true to an extent, Irvine was certainly still a little peculiar. The city itself was based on a “master plan” of sorts, with the location of each of its schools, parks, shops, and arguably its trees having been logically “picked” before the foundation was poured. Even the homes all looked roughly the same, with their beige, stucco walls almost serving as a hallmark of the city itself.

Thus, this perfectly structured, perfectly safe city seemed like a paradise of sorts to many outsiders, my parents included. I was a little more hesitant to welcome this. As I saw it, this was a phony city – believing that its uniformity stood for a lack of personality. My hometown, although not as flawlessly safe nor clean as Irvine, was where most of my dearest memories had occurred. From the many sleepovers at Cindie’s house, to trying to avoid my school’s own version of the “infamous” cheese touch, to the many laughs shared with friends and family, I shed a tear at the prospect of leaving my home.

Moving into the foreign city, remnants of the hostility I held towards Irvine remained. Still dwelling in my memories of the past, I was initially unable to see Irvine as a “home.” So, as I walked into my first-ever Irvine class, being greeted by many kind, yet unfamiliar faces around me, I was unable to recognize that some of those new faces would later become some of my dearest friends. Such negative feelings about the city were further reinforced by newer, harder classes, and more complicated homework. Sitting in the discomfort of this unfamiliar environment, it started to seem that “change” was something not only inevitable, but insurmountable.

As the years went on, however, this idea seemed to fade. I got used to my classes and bike racing through Irvine neighborhoods with my friends, watching the trees that once seemed just a “weird” green blob soon transform into one of my favorite parts of the city. While I kept my old, beloved memories stored, I made space for new ones. From carefully making our way over the narrow creek path next to our school, to the laughs we shared during chemistry class, my new memories made with friends seemed to transform a city I once disliked into one I would miss. 

Through this transformation, I have come to recognize that change, although sometimes intimidating at first, can open the door to great times and meaningful connections. Although Irvine may have once seemed like a strange, “phony” place that I couldn’t wait to be rid of, the memories and laughs I had grown to share there were very real. As I move onto this next part of my life, I hope I can use this knowledge that I have gained from my time in Irvine to make the most of what’s to come. Even if the change may be frightening at first, I have learned to embrace what’s on the other side, whether green or not.

One huge plus to writing an essay that focuses on a place is that you might have it read by someone who has been there. Yet, what’s really helpful about this essay is that even if someone hasn’t been there, a picture is painted about what the place is like.  Admission officers have the hard task of really understanding what the student sees, so the use of adjectives and imagery can really help.  It’s also really clever to see that the green that’s mentioned at the beginning is mentioned at the end.  It’s a nice way to bookend the essay and tie it all together.

Prompt 6: “Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?”

I like getting lost. Not literally, of course, but figuratively. Whether it be in the story of a love song by Taylor Swift, or in the memories brought back by listening to my favorite childhood video game’s background music, I’ve always appreciated music’s ability to transport me to another place, another time, another feeling. 

Alas, I cannot sing, nor have I practiced an instrument since my middle school piano class days. So, perhaps Kurt Vonnegut was right. As he puts it, “Virtually every writer I know would rather be a musician.” While I cannot speak for others, I have certainly not debunked his theory. Writing allows many, including myself, to attempt to mimic the transformative power of music – even if our singing voices aren’t exactly “pleasant.” Just as you can get lost in music, you can do so in a story. Whether it is in George Orwell’s totalitarian Oceania, or Little Women’s Orchard House, the stories outlined in novels can provide an amazing look into the lives and worlds of others, and an escape from the worries and problems of those in your own.

While I am certainly not claiming to have the storytelling abilities of the Orwells or Alcotts before me, I’ve had fun trying to recreate such transformative feelings for others. When I was nine, I attempted to write a story about a little girl who had gotten lost in the woods, only managing to get a couple pages through. As I got older, whenever I was assigned a creative writing assignment in school, I wrote about the same pig, Phil. He was always angry: in my 8th grade science class, Phil was mad at some humans who had harbored his friend captive, and in my 9th grade English class, at a couple who robbed him. 

Thus, when I heard about a writing club being opened at my school in 11th grade, I knew I had to join. I wanted to discern whether writing was just a hobby I picked up now and then, or a true passion. If it was a passion, I wanted to learn as much as possible about how I could improve. Although my high school’s writing club certainly wasn’t going to transform me into Shakespeare, I knew I could learn a lot from it – and I did. The club challenged me to do many things, from writing on the spot, to writing poetry, to even writing about myself, something that’s hopefully coming in handy right now. 

From then on, I started to expand into different types of writing, storing short ideas, skits, and more in appropriately-labeled Google Drive folders. At around the same time, I became interested in classic literature, which largely stemmed from a project in English class. We had been required to choose and read a classic on our own, then present it to the class in an interesting way. While my book was certainly interesting and unique in its own right, nearly everyone else’s novels seemed more captivating to me. So, I took it upon myself to read as many classics as I could the following summer.

One of the books I read during the summer, funnily enough, was Animal Farm, which starred angry pigs, reminiscent of Phil. I had also started going over different ideas in my head, thinking about how I could translate them into words using the new skills I learned. While the writing club helped reaffirm my interest in writing and allowed me to develop new skills, my newfound affinity for classics gave me inspiration to write. Now, I am actually considering writing as part of my future. In this endeavor, I hope that Phil, and the music I inevitably listen to as I write, will accompany me every step of the way.

Admission officers might read 70 (or more!) essays in one day. It’s not uncommon for them to start to blend together and sound similar. This essay might not make you laugh out loud. But, it might make the reader chuckle while reading it thanks to the subtle humor and levity. Being able to incorporate a little humor into your essay (if it is natural for you to do… do not force it), can really be a great way to shed additional light into who you are. Remember, the essay isn’t merely about proving that you can write, but it should also reveal a little bit about your personality.

Prompt 5: “Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.”

I learned a lot of things during the summer I worked at Tropical Smoothie. I discovered the value of hard work. I figured out how to save money. I even mastered the art of the Mango Magic smoothie (the secret is lots of sugar). But most importantly, I learned the power of perspective. And I have Deja to thank for that. 

Deja was my shift supervisor, and one of Tropical Smoothie’s best employees. She was punctual, friendly, and always willing to lend a helping hand. She knew the store from top to bottom, and could handle pretty much any situation thrown her way. She made everyone around her better. On top of all that, she was four months pregnant! I was always impressed by Deja’s work ethic, but I gained an entirely new level of respect for her one day.

It was a Friday night, and Deja and I were working the closing shift together. It was very busy, and Deja and I were the only ones on shift. We managed to get by, but we were exhausted by the end of the evening. After wiping down the counters and mopping the floors, we closed up shop and went our separate ways. I was eager to get home. 

I walked a couple blocks to where I had parked my car. Well, it wasn’t my car actually. It was my dad’s ‘98 Chevy pickup truck, and it was in rough shape. It had no heat or A/C, the leather seats were cracked beyond repair, and the driver’s side door was jammed shut. I sighed as I got in through the passenger side and scooted over to the driver’s seat. The whole reason I was working at Tropical Smoothie was to save up enough money to buy my own car. I was hoping to have something more respectable to drive during my senior year of high school. 

I cranked the old thing up and started on my way home. But soon enough, I spotted Deja walking on the side of the road. There was no sidewalk here, the light was low, and she was dangerously close to the passing cars. I pulled over and offered her a ride. She got in and explained that she was on her way home. Apparently she didn’t have a car and had been walking to work every day. I couldn’t believe it. Here I was complaining about my set of wheels, while Deja didn’t have any to begin with.

We got to talking, and she confessed that she had been having a tough time. You would never know from the way she was so cheerful at work, but Deja had a lot on her plate. She was taking care of her mother, her boyfriend had just lost his job, and she was worried about making ends meet. And of course, she was expecting a baby in five months. On top of all that, she had been walking nearly a mile to and from work every day. The whole thing was a real eye opener, and made me reconsider some things in my own life. 

For one, I didn’t mind driving my dad’s truck anymore. It was banged up, sure, but it was a lot better than nothing. My mindset had changed. I appreciated the truck now. I began to think about other things differently, too. I started making mental notes of all the things in my life I was thankful for — my family, my friends, my health. I became grateful for what I had, instead of obsessing over the things I didn’t. 

I also gained more awareness of the world outside my own little bubble. My encounter with Deja had shown me first-hand that everyone is dealing with their own problems, some worse than others. So I started paying more attention to my friends, family members, and coworkers. I started listening more and asking how I could help. I also gave Deja a ride home for the rest of the summer. 

These are all small things, of course, but I think they make a difference. I realized I’m at my best when I’m not fixated on my own life, but when I’m considerate of the lives around me. I want to keep this in mind as I continue to grow and develop as a person. I want to continue to search for ways to support the people around me. And most importantly, I want to keep things in perspective.

Too often we can be focused on our own problems that we fail to realize that everyone has their own things going on in their lives, too.  This essay showcases how it’s important to put things in perspective, a skill that certainly will prove invaluable in college… and not just in the classroom.  Another reason I like this essay is because it provides deeper insight into the student’s life.  Sure, you might have mentioned in your activities list that you have a job.  But as this essay does, you can show why you have the job in the first place, what your responsibilities are, and more.

A few last tips

We hope these essay examples gave you a bit of inspiration of what to include in your own. However, before you go, we’d like to send you off with a few (personal statement) writing tips to help you make your essays as lovely as the memories and anecdotes they’re based off of. Without further ado, here are some of our best tips for writing your personal statements:

1. Open strong

College admissions officers read many, many essays (think 50+) a day, which can sometimes cause them to start blending together and sounding alike. One way to avoid your essay from simply fading into the background is to start strong. This means opening your essay with something memorable, whether an interesting personal anecdote, a descriptive setting, or anything else that you think would catch a reader’s attention (so long as it’s not inappropriate). Not only might this help college admissions officers better remember your essay, but it will also make them curious about what the rest of your essay will entail.

2. Be authentic

Perhaps most important when it comes to writing personal statement essays is to maintain your authenticity. Ultimately, your essays should reflect your unique stories and quirks that make you who you are, and should help college admissions officers determine whether you’d truly be a good fit for their school or not. So, don’t stress trying to figure out what colleges are looking for. Be yourself, and let the colleges come to you!

3. Strong writing

This one may seem a little obvious, but strong writing will certainly appeal to colleges. Not only will it make your essay more compelling, but it may show colleges that you’re ready for college-level essay writing (that you’ll likely have to do a lot of). Just remember that good writing is not limited to grammar. Using captivating detail and descriptions are a huge part of making your essay seem more like a story than a lecture.

4. Proofread

Last but not least, remember to proofread! Make sure your essay contains no errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. When you’re done proofreading your essay yourself, we would also recommend that you ask a teacher, parent, or other grammatically savvy person to proofread your essay as well.

Final thoughts 

With those in hand, we hope you now have a better sense of how to write your personal statement. While your grades and test scores are important when it comes to college admissions, it’s really your essays that can “make” or “break” your application. 

Although this may make it seem like a daunting task, writing an amazing personal statement essay is all about effort. Thus, so long as you start early, follow the advice listed above, and dedicate your time and effort to it, it’s entirely possible to write an essay that perfectly encapsulates you. Good luck, and happy writing!

Also see:  Scholarships360’s free scholarships search tool

Key Takeaways

• It may take some people longer than others to know what they want to write about, but remember that everyone, including you, has something unique to write about!
• Personal statements should be personal, which means you should avoid being too general and really strive to show off what makes you “you”
• Time and effort are two of the most important things you can put into your personal statement to ensure that it is the best representation of yourself
• Don’t forget to ask people who know you to read your work before you submit; they should be able to tell you better than anyone if you are truly shining through!

Frequently asked questions about writing personal statements 

How do you write a powerful personal statement, what makes an amazing personal statement, how do you start an amazing personal statement, scholarships360 recommended.

10 Tips for Successful College Applications

Coalition vs. Common App: What is the difference?

College Application Deadlines 2023-2024: What You Need to Know

Trending now.

How to Convert Your GPA to a 4.0 Scale

PSAT to SAT Score Conversion: Predict Your Score

What Are Public Ivy League Schools?

3 reasons to join scholarships360.

• Automatic entry to our $10,000 No-Essay Scholarship
• Personalized matching to thousands of vetted scholarships
• Quick apply for scholarships exclusive to our platform

By the way...Scholarships360 is 100% free!

• Features for Creative Writers
• Features for Work
• Features for Higher Education
• Features for Teachers
• Features for Non-Native Speakers
• Learn Blog Grammar Guide Community Events FAQ
• Grammar Guide

How to Write a Personal Statement (with Tips and Examples)

Hannah Yang

Table of Contents

What is a personal statement, 6 tips on how to write a personal statement, personal statement examples (for college and university), faqs about writing personal statements, conclusion on how to write a personal statement.

How do you tell someone who you are in just a few hundred words?

It’s certainly no easy task, but it’s one almost every college applicant must do. The personal statement is a crucial part of any college or university application.

So, how do you write a compelling personal statement?

In this article, we’ll give you all the tools, tips, and examples you need to write an effective personal statement.

A personal statement is a short essay that reveals something important about who you are. It can talk about your background, your interests, your values, your goals in life, or all of the above.

Personal statements are required by many college admission offices and scholarship selection committees. They’re a key part of your application, alongside your academic transcript, standardized test scores, and extracurricular activities.

The reason application committees ask you to write a personal statement is so they can get to know who you are. 

Some personal statements have specific prompts, such as “Discuss a period of personal growth in your life” or “Tell us about a challenge or failure you’ve faced.” Others are more open-ended with prompts that essentially boil down to “Tell us about yourself.”

No matter what the prompt is, your goal is the same: to make yourself stand out to the selection committee as a strong candidate for their program.

Here are some things a personal statement can be:

It can be funny. If you have a great sense of humor, your personal statement is a great place to let that shine.  

It can be vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to open up about hardships in your life or failures you’ve experienced. Showing vulnerability can make you sound more like a real person rather than just a collection of application materials.  

It can be creative. Candidates have got into top schools with personal statements that take the form of “a day in the life” descriptions, third-person short stories, and even cooking recipes.

Now we’ve talked about what a personal statement is, let’s quickly look at what a personal statement isn’t:

It isn’t a formal academic paper. You should write the personal statement in your natural voice, using first-person pronouns like “I” and “me,” not in the formal, objective language you would use to write an academic paper.

It isn’t a five-paragraph essay. You should use as many paragraphs as you need to tell your story instead of sticking to the essay structure you learned in school.

It isn’t a resumé. You should try to describe yourself by telling a clear and cohesive story rather than providing a jumbled list of all of your accomplishments and ambitions.

Here are our top six tips for writing a strong personal statement.

Tip 1: Do Some Serious Self-Reflection

The hardest part of writing a personal statement isn’t the actual process of writing it.

Before you start typing, you have to figure out what to write about. And that means taking some time to reflect on who you are and what’s important in your life.

Here are some useful questions you can use to start your self-reflection. You can either answer these on your own by writing down your answers, or you can ask a trusted friend to listen as you talk about them together.

What were the key moments that shaped your life? (e.g. an important friendship, a travel experience, an illness or injury)

What are you proud of? (e.g. you’re a good listener, you always keep your promises, you’re a talented musician)

How do you choose to spend your time? (e.g. reading, practicing soccer, spending time with your friends)

What inspires you? (e.g. your grandmother, a celebrity, your favorite song)

Doing this self-reflection is crucial for figuring out the perfect topics and anecdotes you can use to describe who you are.

Tip 2: Try to Avoid Cliché Topics

College application committees read thousands of personal statements a year. That means there are some personal statement topics they see over and over again.

Here are a few examples of common personal statement topics that have become cliché:

Winning a tournament or sports game

Volunteering in a foreign country

Moving to a new home

Becoming an older sibling

Being an immigrant or having immigrant parents

If you want to make a strong impression in the application process, you need to make your personal statement stand out from the crowd.

But if your chosen personal statement topic falls into one of these categories, that doesn’t necessarily mean you shouldn’t use it. Just make sure to put a unique spin on it so it still delivers something the committee hasn’t seen before.

Good writing = better grades

ProWritingAid will help you improve the style, strength, and clarity of all your assignments.

Tip 3: Show, Don’t Tell

One common mistake you might make in your personal statement is to simply tell the reader what you want them to know about you, such as by stating “I have a fear of public speaking” or “I love to cook.”

Instead of simply stating these facts, you should show the committee what you’re talking about through a story or scene, which will make your essay much more immersive and memorable.

For example, let’s say you want the committee to know you overcame your fear of public speaking. Instead of writing “I overcame my fear of public speaking,” show them what it was like to be onstage in front of a microphone. Did your palms get clammy? Did you feel light-headed? Did you forget your words?

Or let’s say you want the committee to know you love to cook. Instead of writing “I love to cook,” show them why you love to cook. What’s your favorite dish to cook? What does the air smell like when you’re cooking it? What kitchen appliances do you use to make it?

Tip 4: Connect the Story to Why You’re Applying

Don’t forget that the purpose of your personal statement isn’t simply to tell the admissions committee who you are. That’s an important part of it, of course, but your ultimate goal is to convince them to choose you as a candidate.

That means it’s important to tie your personal story to your reasons for applying to this specific school or scholarship. Finish your essay with a strong thesis.

For example, if your story is about overcoming your fear of public speaking, you might connect that story to your ambition of becoming a politician. You can then tie that to your application by saying, “I want to apply to this school because of its fantastic politics program, which will give me a perfect opportunity to use my voice.”

Tip 5: Write in Your Own Voice

The personal statement isn’t supposed to be written in a formal tone. That’s why they’re called “personal” statements because you have to shape it to fit your own voice and style.

Don’t use complicated or overwrought language. You don’t need to fill your essay with semicolons and big words, unless that’s how you sound in real life.

One way to write in your own voice is by speaking your personal statement out loud. If it doesn’t feel natural, it may need changing. 

Tip 6: Edit, Edit, Edit!

It’s important to revise your personal statement multiple times in order to make sure it’s as close to perfect as possible.

A single typo won’t kill your application, but if your personal statement contains multiple spelling errors or egregious grammar mistakes, you won’t be putting your best foot forward.

ProWritingAid can help you make sure your personal statement is as clean as possible. In addition to catching your grammar errors, typos, and punctuation mistakes, it will also help you improve weaknesses in your writing, such as passive voice, unnecessary repetition, and more.

Let’s look at some of the best personal statements that have worked for successful candidates in the real world. 

Harvard Personal Statement Example

Love. For a word describing such a powerful emotion, it is always in the air. The word “love” has become so pervasive in everyday conversation that it hardly retains its roots in blazing passion and deep adoration. In fact, the word is thrown about so much that it becomes difficult to believe society isn’t just one huge, smitten party, with everyone holding hands and singing “Kumbaya.” In films, it’s the teenage boy’s grudging response to a doting mother. At school, it’s a habitual farewell between friends. But in my Chinese home, it’s never uttered. Watching my grandmother lie unconscious on the hospital bed, waiting for her body to shut down, was excruciatingly painful. Her final quavering breaths formed a discordant rhythm with the steady beep of hospital equipment and the unsympathetic tapping hands of the clock. That evening, I whispered—into unhearing ears—the first, and only, “I love you” I ever said to her, my rankling guilt haunting me relentlessly for weeks after her passing. My warm confession seemed anticlimactic, met with only the coldness of my surroundings—the blank room, impassive doctors, and empty silence. I struggled to understand why the “love” that so easily rolled off my tongue when bantering with friends dissipated from my vocabulary when I spoke to my family. Do Chinese people simply love less than Americans do?

This is an excerpt from a personal statement that got the applicant admitted to Harvard University. The applicant discusses her background as a Chinese-American by musing on the word “love” and what that means within her family.

The writer uses vulnerable details about her relationship with her grandmother to give the reader an understanding of where she comes from and how her family has shaped her.  

You can read the full personal statement on the Harvard Crimson website.

Tufts Personal Statement Example

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry’s “Cars and Trucks and Things That Go,” and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon. Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration. Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear. I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

This is the beginning of a personal statement by Renner Kwittken, who was admitted into Tufts University as a pre-medical student.

Renner uses a humorous anecdote about being a pickle truck driver to describe his love for nanomedicine and how he got involved in his field. You can feel his passion for medicine throughout his personal statement.

You can find Renner’s full essay on the Tufts Admissions page.

Law School Personal Statement Essay Example

For most people, the slap on the face that turns their life around is figurative. Mine was literal. Actually, it was a punch delivered by a drill sergeant at Fort Dix, New Jersey, while I was in basic training. That day’s activity, just a few weeks into the program, included instruction in “low-crawling,” a sensible method of moving from one place to another on a battlefield. I felt rather clever for having discovered that, by looking right rather than down, I eliminated my helmet’s unfortunate tendency to dig into the ground and slow my progress. I could thus advance more easily, but I also exposed my unprotected face to hostile fire. Drill sergeants are typically very good at detecting this type of laziness, and mine was an excellent drill sergeant. So, after his repeated suggestions that I correct my performance went unheeded, he drove home his point with a fist to my face. We were both stunned. This was, after all, the New Army, and striking a trainee was a career-ending move for a drill sergeant, as we were both aware. I could have reported him; arguably, I should have. I didn’t. It didn’t seem right for this good sergeant, who had not slept for almost four days, to lose his career for losing his temper with my laziness. Choosing not to report him was the first decision I remember making that made me proud.

These are the first three paragraphs of an anonymous personal statement by a Wheaton College graduate, who used this personal statement to get into a top-25 law school.

This statement describes a time the applicant faced a challenging decision while in the army. He ended up making a decision he was proud of, and as a result, the personal statement gives us a sense of his character.

You can find the full essay on the Wheaton Academics website.

Here are some common questions about how to write a personal statement.

How Long Should a Personal Statement Be?

The length of your personal statement depends on the specific program you’re applying to. The application guidelines usually specify a maximum word count or an ideal word count.  

Most personal statements are between 500–800 words. That’s a good general range to aim for if you don’t have more specific guidelines.  

Should Personal Statements Be Different for Scholarships?

Many scholarship applications will ask for personal statements with similar prompts to those of college applications.

However, the purpose of a personal statement you’d write for a scholarship application is different from the purpose of one you’d write for a college application.

For a scholarship application, your goal is to showcase why you deserve the scholarship. To do that, you need to understand the mission of the organization offering that scholarship.

For example, some scholarships are meant to help first-generation college students get their degree, while others are meant to help women break into STEM.

Consider the following questions:

Why is this organization offering scholarships?

What would their ideal scholarship candidate look like?

How do your experiences and goals overlap with those of their ideal scholarship candidate?

You can use the same personal anecdotes you’d use for any other personal statement, but you’ll have a better chance of winning the scholarship if you tailor your essay to match their specific mission.

How to Start a Personal Statement

You should start your personal statement with a “hook” that pulls the reader in. The sooner you catch the reader’s attention, the more likely they’ll want to read the entire essay.

Here are some examples of hooks you can use:

A story (e.g. When the spotlight hit my face, I tried to remind myself to breathe. )

A setting description (e.g. My bedroom floor is covered with dirty laundry, candy wrappers, and crumpled sheet music. )

A funny anecdote (e.g. When I was a little kid, my friends nicknamed me Mowgli because of my haircut. )

A surprising fact (e.g. I've lived in 37 countries .)

There you have it—our complete guide to writing a personal statement that will make you stand out to the application committee.

Here’s a quick recap: 

A personal statement is a short essay that shows an application committee who you are

Start with a strong hook that pulls the reader in

Tell a story to engage the reader 

Write in your own voice, not in a formal tone

Good luck, and happy writing!

Hannah is a speculative fiction writer who loves all things strange and surreal. She holds a BA from Yale University and lives in Colorado. When she’s not busy writing, you can find her painting watercolors, playing her ukulele, or hiking in the Rockies. Follow her work on hannahyang.com or on Twitter at @hannahxyang.

Get started with ProWritingAid

Drop us a line or let's stay in touch via :

Testimonials

Free Resources

PrepScholar GRE Prep

Gre prep online guides and tips, 3 successful graduate school personal statement examples.

Looking for grad school personal statement examples? Look no further! In this total guide to graduate school personal statement examples, we’ll discuss why you need a personal statement for grad school and what makes a good one. Then we’ll provide three graduate school personal statement samples from our grad school experts. After that, we’ll do a deep dive on one of our personal statement for graduate school examples. Finally, we’ll wrap up with a list of other grad school personal statements you can find online.

Why Do You Need a Personal Statement?

A personal statement is a chance for admissions committees to get to know you: your goals and passions, what you’ll bring to the program, and what you’re hoping to get out of the program.  You need to sell the admissions committee on what makes you a worthwhile applicant. The personal statement is a good chance to highlight significant things about you that don’t appear elsewhere on your application.

A personal statement is slightly different from a statement of purpose (also known as a letter of intent). A statement of purpose/letter of intent tends to be more tightly focused on your academic or professional credentials and your future research and/or professional interests.

While a personal statement also addresses your academic experiences and goals, you have more leeway to be a little more, well, personal. In a personal statement, it’s often appropriate to include information on significant life experiences or challenges that aren’t necessarily directly relevant to your field of interest.

Some programs ask for both a personal statement and a statement of purpose/letter of intent. In this case, the personal statement is likely to be much more tightly focused on your life experience and personality assets while the statement of purpose will focus in much more on your academic/research experiences and goals.

However, there’s not always a hard-and-fast demarcation between a personal statement and a statement of purpose. The two statement types should address a lot of the same themes, especially as relates to your future goals and the valuable assets you bring to the program. Some programs will ask for a personal statement but the prompt will be focused primarily on your research and professional experiences and interests. Some will ask for a statement of purpose but the prompt will be more focused on your general life experiences.

When in doubt, give the program what they are asking for in the prompt and don’t get too hung up on whether they call it a personal statement or statement of purpose. You can always call the admissions office to get more clarification on what they want you to address in your admissions essay.

Quick side note: we've created the world's leading online GRE prep program that adapts to you and your strengths and weaknesses. Not sure what to study? Confused by how to improve your score? We give you minute by minute guide.

You don't NEED a prep program to get a great GRE score. But we believe PrepScholar is the best GRE prep program available right now , especially if you find it hard to organize your study schedule and don't know what to study .

Click here to learn how you can improve your GRE score by 7 points, guaranteed .

What Makes a Good Grad School Personal Statement?

A great graduate school personal statement can come in many forms and styles. However, strong grad school personal statement examples all share the same following elements:

A Clear Narrative

Above all, a good personal statement communicates clear messages about what makes you a strong applicant who is likely to have success in graduate school. So to that extent, think about a couple of key points that you want to communicate about yourself and then drill down on how you can best communicate those points. (Your key points should of course be related to what you can bring to the field and to the program specifically).

You can also decide whether to address things like setbacks or gaps in your application as part of your narrative. Have a low GPA for a couple semesters due to a health issue? Been out of a job for a while taking care of a family member? If you do decide to explain an issue like this, make sure that the overall arc is more about demonstrating positive qualities like resilience and diligence than about providing excuses.

Specific Examples

A great statement of purpose uses specific examples to illustrate its key messages. This can include anecdotes that demonstrate particular traits or even references to scholars and works that have influenced your academic trajectory to show that you are familiar and insightful about the relevant literature in your field.

Just saying “I love plants,” is pretty vague. Describing how you worked in a plant lab during undergrad and then went home and carefully cultivated your own greenhouse where you cross-bred new flower colors by hand is much more specific and vivid, which makes for better evidence.

A strong personal statement will describe why you are a good fit for the program, and why the program is a good fit for you. It’s important to identify specific things about the program that appeal to you, and how you’ll take advantage of those opportunities. It’s also a good idea to talk about specific professors you might be interested in working with. This shows that you are informed about and genuinely invested in the program.

Strong Writing

Even quantitative and science disciplines typically require some writing, so it’s important that your personal statement shows strong writing skills. Make sure that you are communicating clearly and that you don’t have any grammar and spelling errors. It’s helpful to get other people to read your statement and provide feedback. Plan on going through multiple drafts.

Another important thing here is to avoid cliches and gimmicks. Don’t deploy overused phrases and openings like “ever since I was a child.” Don’t structure your statement in a gimmicky way (i.e., writing a faux legal brief about yourself for a law school statement of purpose). The first will make your writing banal; the second is likely to make you stand out in a bad way.

Appropriate Boundaries

While you can be more personal in a personal statement than in a statement of purpose, it’s important to maintain appropriate boundaries in your writing. Don’t overshare anything too personal about relationships, bodily functions, or illegal activities. Similarly, don’t share anything that makes it seem like you may be out of control, unstable, or an otherwise risky investment. The personal statement is not a confessional booth. If you share inappropriately, you may seem like you have bad judgment, which is a huge red flag to admissions committees.

You should also be careful with how you deploy humor and jokes. Your statement doesn’t have to be totally joyless and serious, but bear in mind that the person reading the statement may not have the same sense of humor as you do. When in doubt, err towards the side of being as inoffensive as possible.

Just as being too intimate in your statement can hurt you, it’s also important not to be overly formal or staid. You should be professional, but conversational.

Graduate School Personal Statement Examples

Our graduate school experts have been kind enough to provide some successful grad school personal statement examples. We’ll provide three examples here, along with brief analysis of what makes each one successful.

Sample Personal Statement for Graduate School 1

PDF of Sample Personal Statement 1 – Japanese Studies

For this Japanese Studies master’s degree, the applicant had to provide a statement of purpose outlining her academic goals and experience with Japanese and a separate personal statement describing her personal relationship with Japanese Studies and what led her to pursue a master’s degree.

Here’s what’s successful about this personal statement:

• An attention-grabbing beginning: The applicant begins with the statement that Japanese has never come easily to her and that it’s a brutal language to learn. Seeing as how this is an application for a Japanese Studies program, this is an intriguing beginning that makes the reader want to keep going.
• A compelling narrative: From this attention-grabbing beginning, the applicant builds a well-structured and dramatic narrative tracking her engagement with the Japanese language over time. The clear turning point is her experience studying abroad, leading to a resolution in which she has clarity about her plans. Seeing as how the applicant wants to be a translator of Japanese literature, the tight narrative structure here is a great way to show her writing skills.
• Specific examples that show important traits: The applicant clearly communicates both a deep passion for Japanese through examples of her continued engagement with Japanese and her determination and work ethic by highlighting the challenges she’s faced (and overcome) in her study of the language. This gives the impression that she is an engaged and dedicated student.

Overall, this is a very strong statement both in terms of style and content. It flows well, is memorable, and communicates that the applicant would make the most of the graduate school experience.

Sample Personal Statement for Graduate School 2

PDF of Sample Graduate School Personal Statement 2 – Musical Composition

This personal statement for a Music Composition master’s degree discusses the factors that motivate the applicant to pursue graduate study.

Here’s what works well in this statement:

• The applicant provides two clear reasons motivating the student to pursue graduate study: her experiences with music growing up, and her family’s musical history. She then supports those two reasons with examples and analysis.
• The description of her ancestors’ engagement with music is very compelling and memorable. The applicant paints her own involvement with music as almost inevitable based on her family’s long history with musical pursuits.
• The applicant gives thoughtful analysis of the advantages she has been afforded that have allowed her to study music so extensively. We get the sense that she is insightful and empathetic—qualities that would add greatly to any academic community.

This is a strong, serviceable personal statement. And in truth, given that this for a masters in music composition, other elements of the application (like work samples) are probably the most important.  However, here are two small changes I would make to improve it:

• I would probably to split the massive second paragraph into 2-3 separate paragraphs. I might use one paragraph to orient the reader to the family’s musical history, one paragraph to discuss Giacomo and Antonio, and one paragraph to discuss how the family has influenced the applicant. As it stands, it’s a little unwieldy and the second paragraph doesn’t have a super-clear focus even though it’s all loosely related to the applicant’s family history with music.
• I would also slightly shorten the anecdote about the applicant’s ancestors and expand more on how this family history has motivated the applicant’s interest in music. In what specific ways has her ancestors’ perseverance inspired her? Did she think about them during hard practice sessions? Is she interested in composing music in a style they might have played? More specific examples here would lend greater depth and clarity to the statement.

Sample Personal Statement for Graduate School 3

PDF of Sample Graduate School Personal Statement 3 – Public Health

This is my successful personal statement for Columbia’s Master’s program in Public Health. We’ll do a deep dive on this statement paragraph-by-paragraph in the next section, but I’ll highlight a couple of things that work in this statement here:

Want to improve your GRE score by 7 points?  We have the industry's leading GRE prep program. Built by world-class instructors with 99th percentile GRE scores , the program learns your strengths and weaknesses through machine learning data science, then customizes your prep program to you so you get the most effective prep possible.

Try our 5-day full access trial for free:

• This statement is clearly organized. Almost every paragraph has a distinct focus and message, and when I move on to a new idea, I move on to a new paragraph with a logical transitions.
• This statement covers a lot of ground in a pretty short space. I discuss my family history, my goals, my educational background, and my professional background. But because the paragraphs are organized and I use specific examples, it doesn’t feel too vague or scattered.
• In addition to including information about my personal motivations, like my family, I also include some analysis about tailoring health interventions with my example of the Zande. This is a good way to show off what kinds of insights I might bring to the program based on my academic background.

Grad School Personal Statement Example: Deep Dive

Now let’s do a deep dive, paragraph-by-paragraph, on one of these sample graduate school personal statements. We’ll use my personal statement that I used when I applied to Columbia’s public health program.

Paragraph One: For twenty-three years, my grandmother (a Veterinarian and an Epidemiologist) ran the Communicable Disease Department of a mid-sized urban public health department. The stories of Grandma Betty doggedly tracking down the named sexual partners of the infected are part of our family lore. Grandma Betty would persuade people to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases, encourage safer sexual practices, document the spread of infection and strive to contain and prevent it. Indeed, due to the large gay population in the city where she worked, Grandma Betty was at the forefront of the AIDS crises, and her analysis contributed greatly towards understanding how the disease was contracted and spread. My grandmother has always been a huge inspiration to me, and the reason why a career in public health was always on my radar.

This is an attention-grabbing opening anecdote that avoids most of the usual cliches about childhood dreams and proclivities. This story also subtly shows that I have a sense of public health history, given the significance of the AIDs crisis for public health as a field.

It’s good that I connect this family history to my own interests. However, if I were to revise this paragraph again, I might cut down on some of the detail because when it comes down to it, this story isn’t really about me. It’s important that even (sparingly used) anecdotes about other people ultimately reveal something about you in a personal statement.

Paragraph Two: Recent years have cemented that interest. In January 2012, my parents adopted my little brother Fred from China. Doctors in America subsequently diagnosed Fred with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD). My parents were told that if Fred’s condition had been discovered in China, the (very poor) orphanage in which he spent the first 8+ years of his life would have recognized his DMD as a death sentence and denied him sustenance to hasten his demise.

Here’s another compelling anecdote to help explain my interest in public health. This is an appropriately personal detail for a personal statement—it’s a serious thing about my immediate family, but it doesn’t disclose anything that the admissions committee might find concerning or inappropriate.

If I were to take another pass through this paragraph, the main thing I would change is the last phrase. “Denied him sustenance to hasten his demise” is a little flowery. “Denied him food to hasten his death” is actually more powerful because it’s clearer and more direct.

Paragraph Three: It is not right that some people have access to the best doctors and treatment while others have no medical care. I want to pursue an MPH in Sociomedical Sciences at Columbia because studying social factors in health, with a particular focus on socio-health inequities, will prepare me to address these inequities. The interdisciplinary approach of the program appeals to me greatly as I believe interdisciplinary approaches are the most effective way to develop meaningful solutions to complex problems.

In this paragraph I make a neat and clear transition from discussing what sparked my interest in public health and health equity to what I am interested in about Columbia specifically: the interdisciplinary focus of the program, and how that focus will prepare me to solve complex health problems. This paragraph also serves as a good pivot point to start discussing my academic and professional background.

Paragraph Four: My undergraduate education has prepared me well for my chosen career. Understanding the underlying structure of a group’s culture is essential to successfully communicating with the group. In studying folklore and mythology, I’ve learned how to parse the unspoken structures of folk groups, and how those structures can be used to build bridges of understanding. For example, in a culture where most illnesses are believed to be caused by witchcraft, as is the case for the Zande people of central Africa, any successful health intervention or education program would of necessity take into account their very real belief in witchcraft.

In this paragraph, I link my undergraduate education and the skills I learned there to public health. The (very brief) analysis of tailoring health interventions to the Zande is a good way to show insight and show off the competencies I would bring to the program.

Paragraph Five: I now work in the healthcare industry for one of the largest providers of health benefits in the world. In addition to reigniting my passion for data and quantitative analytics, working for this company has immersed me in the business side of healthcare, a critical component of public health.

This brief paragraph highlights my relevant work experience in the healthcare industry. It also allows me to mention my work with data and quantitative analytics, which isn’t necessarily obvious from my academic background, which was primarily based in the social sciences.

Paragraph Six: I intend to pursue a PhD in order to become an expert in how social factors affect health, particularly as related to gender and sexuality. I intend to pursue a certificate in Sexuality, Sexual Health, and Reproduction. Working together with other experts to create effective interventions across cultures and societies, I want to help transform health landscapes both in America and abroad.

This final paragraph is about my future plans and intentions. Unfortunately, it’s a little disjointed, primarily because I discuss goals of pursuing a PhD before I talk about what certificate I want to pursue within the MPH program! Switching those two sentences and discussing my certificate goals within the MPH and then mentioning my PhD plans would make a lot more sense.

I also start two sentences in a row with “I intend,” which is repetitive.

The final sentence is a little bit generic; I might tailor it to specifically discuss a gender and sexual health issue, since that is the primary area of interest I’ve identified.

This was a successful personal statement; I got into (and attended!) the program. It has strong examples, clear organization, and outlines what interests me about the program (its interdisciplinary focus) and what competencies I would bring (a background in cultural analysis and experience with the business side of healthcare). However, a few slight tweaks would elevate this statement to the next level.

Graduate School Personal Statement Examples You Can Find Online

So you need more samples for your personal statement for graduate school? Examples are everywhere on the internet, but they aren’t all of equal quality.

Most of examples are posted as part of writing guides published online by educational institutions. We’ve rounded up some of the best ones here if you are looking for more personal statement examples for graduate school.

Penn State Personal Statement Examples for Graduate School

This selection of ten short personal statements for graduate school and fellowship programs offers an interesting mix of approaches. Some focus more on personal adversity while others focus more closely on professional work within the field.

The writing in some of these statements is a little dry, and most deploy at least a few cliches. However, these are generally strong, serviceable statements that communicate clearly why the student is interested in the field, their skills and competencies, and what about the specific program appeals to them.

Cal State Sample Graduate School Personal Statements

These are good examples of personal statements for graduate school where students deploy lots of very vivid imagery and illustrative anecdotes of life experiences. There are also helpful comments about what works in each of these essays.

Want to improve your GRE score by 7+ points?

Check out our best-in-class online GRE prep program . We guarantee your money back if you don't improve your GRE score by 7 points or more.

PrepScholar GRE is entirely online, and it customizes your prep program to your strengths and weaknesses . We also feature 2,000 practice questions , official practice tests, 150 hours of interactive lessons, and 1-on-1 scoring and feedback on your AWA essays.

Check out our 5-day free trial now:

However, all of these statements are definitely pushing the boundaries of acceptable length, as all are above 1000 and one is almost 1500 words! Many programs limit you to 500 words; if you don’t have a limit, you should try to keep it to two single-spaced pages at most (which is about 1000 words).

University of Chicago Personal Statement for Graduate School Examples

These examples of successful essays to the University of Chicago law school cover a wide range of life experiences and topics. The writing in all is very vivid, and all communicate clear messages about the students’ strengths and competencies.

Note, however, that these are all essays that specifically worked for University of Chicago law school. That does not mean that they would work everywhere. In fact, one major thing to note is that many of these responses, while well-written and vivid, barely address the students’ interest in law school at all! This is something that might not work well for most graduate programs.

Wheaton College Personal Statement for Graduate School Sample 10

This successful essay for law school from a Wheaton College undergraduate does a great job tracking the student’s interest in the law in a compelling and personal way. Wheaton offers other graduate school personal statement examples, but this one offers the most persuasive case for the students’ competencies. The student accomplishes this by using clear, well-elaborated examples, showing strong and vivid writing, and highlighting positive qualities like an interest in justice and empathy without seeming grandiose or out of touch.

Wheaton College Personal Statement for Graduate School Sample 1

Based on the background information provided at the bottom of the essay, this essay was apparently successful for this applicant. However, I’ve actually included this essay because it demonstrates an extremely risky approach. While this personal statement is strikingly written and the story is very memorable, it could definitely communicate the wrong message to some admissions committees. The student’s decision not to report the drill sergeant may read incredibly poorly to some admissions committees. They may wonder if the student’s failure to report the sergeant’s violence will ultimately expose more soldiers-in-training to the same kinds of abuses. This incident perhaps reads especially poorly in light of the fact that the military has such a notable problem with violence against women being covered up and otherwise mishandled

It’s actually hard to get a complete picture of the student’s true motivations from this essay, and what we have might raise real questions about the student’s character to some admissions committees. This student took a risk and it paid off, but it could have just as easily backfired spectacularly.

Key Takeaways: Graduate School Personal Statement Examples

In this guide, we discussed why you need a personal statement and how it differs from a statement of purpose. (It’s more personal!)

We also discussed what you’ll find in a strong sample personal statement for graduate school:

• A clear narrative about the applicant and why they are qualified for graduate study.
• Specific examples to support that narrative.
• Compelling reasons why the applicant and the program are a good fit for each other.
• Strong writing, including clear organization and error-free, cliche-free language.
• Appropriate boundaries—sharing without over-sharing.

Then, we provided three strong graduate school personal statement examples for different fields, along with analysis. We did a deep-dive on the third statement.

Finally, we provided a list of other sample grad school personal statements online.

What’s Next?

Want more advice on writing a personal statement ? See our guide.

Writing a graduate school statement of purpose? See our statement of purpose samples  and a nine-step process for writing the best statement of purpose possible .

If you’re writing a graduate school CV or resume, see our how-to guide to writing a CV , a how-to guide to writing a resume , our list of sample resumes and CVs , resume and CV templates , and a special guide for writing resume objectives .

Need stellar graduate school recommendation letters ? See our guide.

See our 29 tips for successfully applying to graduate school .

Ready to improve your GRE score by 7 points?

Author: Ellen McCammon

Ellen is a public health graduate student and education expert. She has extensive experience mentoring students of all ages to reach their goals and in-depth knowledge on a variety of health topics. View all posts by Ellen McCammon

CV personal statement examples

If you want to secure job interview, you need a strong personal statement at the top of your CV.

Your CV personal statement is a short paragraph which sits at the very top of your CV – and it’s aim is to summarise the benefits of hiring you and encourage employers to read your CV in full.

In this guide I have included 17 CV personal statement examples from a range of professions and experience levels, plus a detailed guide of how to write your own personal statement that will get you noticed by employers

CV templates 

17 CV personal statement examples

To start this guide, I have included 10 examples of good personal statements, to give you an idea of how a personal statement should look , and what should be included.

Note: personal statements are generally used by junior candidates – if you are experienced, check out our CV profile examples instead.

Graduate CV personal statement (no experience)

Although this  graduate has no paid work experience, they compensate for it by showcasing all of the skills and knowledge the have gained during their studies, and demonstrating how they apply their knowledge in academic and personal projects.

When you have little or no experience, it’s important to draw out transferable workplace skills from your studies and extracurricular work, to showcase them to employers.

Graduate CV personal statement (part time freelance experience)

This candidate has graduated with a degree in biochemistry but actually wants to start a career in digital marketing after providing some digital freelance services to fund their studies.

In this case, they haven’t made much mention of their studies because they aren’t relevant to the digital marketing agencies they are applying to. Instead they have focused their personal statement around their freelance work and passion for the digital field – although they still mention the fact they are degree educated to prove their academic success.

School leaver CV personal statement (no experience)

This candidate is 16 years old and has no work experience whatsoever, but they compensate for this by detailing their academic achievements that relate to the roles they are applying for (maths and literacy are important requirements in finance and accountancy roles).

They also add some info on their extracurricular activities and school work-placements, to strengthen this student CV further.

    Top tips for writing a CV personal statement

• Thoroughly research the jobs and companies you are planning to apply for to identify the type of candidate they are looking for – try to reflect that in your personal statement
• Don’t be afraid to brag a little – include some of your most impressive achievements from education, work or personal life
• Focus on describing the benefits an employer will get from hiring you. Will you help them to get more customers? Improve their workplace? Save them time and money?
• If you have no work experience, demonstrate transferable workplace skills from your education, projects, or even hobbies

School leaver CV personal statement (part time experience)

Although this person has only just left school, they have also undertaken some part-time work in a call centre alongside their studies.

To make the most of this experience, they have combined their academic achievements with their workplace exposure in this personal statement.

By highlighting their GCSE results, summer programme involvement, work experience and expressing their ambitions to progress within sales, this candidate really makes an appealing case for hiring them.

College leaver CV personal statement (no experience)

This candidate has left college with good grades, but does not yet have any work experience.

To compensate for the lack of workplace exposure, they have made their A level results prominent and highlighted skills and experience which would benefit the employers they are targeting.

Any recruiter reading this profile can quickly understand that this candidate has great academic achievements, a passion for IT and finance and the ability to transfer their skills into an office environment.

College student CV personal statement (freelance experience)

As this student has picked up a small amount of freelance writing work during their studies, they have made sure to brag about it in their personal statement.

They give details on their relevant A level studies to show the skills they are learning, and boost this further by highlighting the fact that they have been applying these skills in a real-life work setting by providing freelance services.

They also include key action verbs that recruiters will be looking for , such as creative writing, working to deadlines, and producing copy.

Academic CV personal statement

Aside from junior candidates, the only other people who might use a personal statement, are academic professionals; as their CV’s tend to be more longer and detailed than other professions.

This candidate provides a high level overview of their field of study, length of experience, and the roles they have held within universities.

School leaver CV personal statement with and sports experience

Although this person has no work experience, they are still able to show employers the value of hiring them by selling their other achievements and explaining how they could benefit an organisation.

They expand on their sports club involvement to demonstrate their teamwork, leadership skills, communication and motivation, which are all important traits in the workplace, and will be looked upon favourably by recruiters and hiring managers.

They also draw upon their future plans to study business studies and take a part time job, to further prove their ambition and dedication.

History graduate CV personal statement

This history graduate proves their aptitude for both academic achievement and workplace aptitude by showcasing valuable skills from their degree and voluntary work.

They do this by breaking down the key requirements for each and showing how their skills could be beneficial for future employers, such as listening, communication, and crisis management.

They also describe how their ability to balance studies alongside voluntary work has not only boosted their knowledge and skills, but also given excellent time management and organisational skills – which are vital assets to any employer.

Law graduate CV personal statement

This legal graduate makes the most from their work university work placements by using it to bulk out the contents of their CV personal statement.

They include their degree to show they have the necessary qualifications for legal roles, which is crucial, but more importantly, they showcase how they applied their legal skills within a real-life work setting.

They give a brief overview of the types of legal professionals they have been working alongside and the type of work they have been carrying out – this is all it takes to get the attention of recruiters and show employers they have what it takes to fulfil roles in the legal sector.

Medical student CV personal statement

This medical student proves their fit for the role by showcasing the key skills they have gained from their studies and their work experience placements.

In just these few sentences, they are able to highlight the vast amount of experience they have across different disciplines in the industry, something which is particularly important in the medical sector.

As they have not graduated yet and are still studying, they have provided proof of their most recent grades. This can give the recruiter some indication as to the type of grade they could be graduating with in the near future.

Masters student CV personal statement

This masters student has started by specifying their area of study, in this case, accounting, and given details about the specific areas of finance they are most interested in. This can hint towards their career goals and passions.

They have then carefully listed some of the key areas of accounting and finance that they are proficient in. For example, business finance, advanced corporate finance and statistics.

They have also outlined some of the transferable skills needed for accounting roles that employers will be looking out for, such as communication, attention to detail and analytical skills.

Finance student CV personal statement

As this finance student has recently undertaken some relevant work experience, they’ve made sure to shout about this in their personal profile.

But more than this, they have included a list of some of the important finance skills they gained as a result of this work experience – for example, financial reporting, processing invoices and month-end reconciliations.

Plus, through power words and phrases such as ‘prevent loss’ and ‘ improve upon accuracy and efficiency’, they have also showcased how they can apply these skills in a workplace setting to benefit the potential employer.

Internship  CV personal statement

This digital marketing professional has started their personal profile by outlining their most relevant qualifications and work experience, most notably their freelance role as a content manager.

They have also provided examples of some of the key marketing skills that potential employers might be looking for, including very detailed examples of the platforms and tools they are proficient in – for example, LinkedIn, Twitter and Pinterest.

They have then closed their statement by giving a detailed description of the type of role or opportunity they are looking for. In this case, an in-house position in a marketing company.

Graduate career changer personal statement

Switching careers as a graduate can be tough. Especially when it comes to writing a personal statement that will attract employers in your new chosen field.

This candidate is looking to move from history teaching into journalism, so they have created a statement which briefly mentions their current workplace, but mainly focuses on highlighting transferable skills which are relevant to journalism. They achieve this by discussing the writing skills they use in their current role, and mentioning their hobby of writing – including some publications they have been featured in for extra brownie points.

Business management graduate personal statement

This business management proves their ability to work within a junior business management position by swiftly highlighting their impressive degree (to ensure it is not missed) and summarising some of the real-life experience they have gained in management during their university placements and volunteering. They do not let their lack of paid work experience, stop them demonstrating their valuable skills.

PhD graduate

PhD graduate roles attract a lot of competition, so it’s important that your CV contains a personal statement that will quickly impress and attract recruiters.

This candidate provides a short-but-comprehensive overview of their academic achievements, whilst demonstrating their exceptional level of knowledge in research, languages and publication writing.

By highlighting a number of skills and abilities that are in high-demand in the academic workplace, this CV is very likely to get noticed and land interviews.

How to write a personal statement for your CV

Now that you’ve seen what a personal statement should look like and the type of content it should contain, follow this detailed guide to one for your own CV – and start racking those interviews up.

Guide contents

What is a CV personal statement?

Cv personal statement or cv profile, personal statement format, what to include in a cv personal statement.

• Personal statement mistakes

How to write persuasively

A personal statement is a short paragraph at the top of your CV which gives employers an overview of your education, skills and experience

It’s purpose is to capture the attention of busy recruiters and hiring managers when your CV is first opened – encouraging them to read the rest of it.

You achieve this by writing a tailored summary of yourself that explains your suitability for the roles you are applying for at a very high level, and matches your target job descriptions .

One question candidates often ask me is , “what is the difference between a personal statement and a CV profile?”

To be honest, they are almost the same – they are both introductory paragraphs that sit at the top of your CV… but there are 2 main differences

A personal statement tends to be used more by junior candidates (graduates, school leavers etc.) and is relatively long and detailed.

A CV profile tends to be favoured by more experienced candidates , and is shorter in length than a personal statement.

Note: If you are an experienced candidate, you may want to switch over to my CV profile writing guide , or example CV profiles page.

To ensure you grab recruiters’ attention with your personal statement, lay it out in the following way.

Positioning

You need to ensure that your personal statement sits at the very top of your CV, and all of it should be totally visible to readers, without the need to scroll down the page.

Do this by reducing the top page margin and minimising the space taken up by your contact details.

This will ensure that your whole personal statement can be seen, as soon as your CV is opened.

We have a Word CV template which can help you to get this right.

Size/length

Your personal statement needs to contain enough detail to provide an introduction to your skills and knowledge, but not so much detail that it bores readers.

To strike the right balance, anything between 8-15 lines of text is perfect – and sentences should be sharp and to-the-point.

As with the whole of your CV or resume , your personal statement should be written in a simple clean font at around size 10-12 to ensure that it can be read easily by all recruiters and employers.

Keep the text colour simple , ensuring that it contrasts the background (black on white is best) and break it into 2 or even 3 paragraphs for a pleasant reading experience.

It should also be written in a punchy persuasive tone, to help you sell yourself and increase your chances of landing interviews , I cover how to do this in detail further down the guide.

Quick tip: A poorly written CV will fail to impress recruiters and employers. Use our quick-and-easy CV Builder to create a winning CV in minutes with professional CV templates and pre-written content for every industry.

Once you have the style and format of your personal statement perfected, you need to fill it with compelling content that tells recruiters that your CV is worth reading.

Here’s what needs to go into your personal statement…

Before you start writing your personal statement, it’s crucial that you research your target roles to find out exactly what your new potential employers are looking for in a candidate.

Run a search for your target jobs on one of the major job websites , look through plenty of adverts and make a list of the candidate requirements that frequently appear.

This research will show you exactly what to include in your personal statement in order to impress the recruiters who will be reading it.

Education and qualifications are an important aspect of your personal statement, especially if you are a junior candidate.

You should highlight your highest and most relevant qualifications, whether that is a degree, A levels or GCSEs. You could potentially go into some more detail around modules, papers etc. if they are relevant to the roles you are applying for.

It’s important that you discuss the experience you have gained in your personal statement, to give readers an idea of the work you are comfortable undertaking.

This can of course be direct employed work experience, but it doesn’t have to be.

You can also include:

• School/college Uni work placements
• Voluntary work
• Personal projects
• Hobbies/interests

As with all aspects of your CV , the content should be tailored to match the requirements of your target roles.

Whilst discussing your experience, you should touch upon skills used, industries worked in, types of companies worked for, and people you have worked with.

Where possible, try to show the impact your actions have made. E.g . A customer service agent helps to make sales for their employer.

Any industry-specific knowledge you have that will be useful to your new potential employers should be made prominent within your personal statement.

For example

• Knowledge of financial regulations will be important for accountancy roles
• Knowledge of IT operating systems will be important for IT roles
• Knowledge of the national curriculum will be important for teachers

You should also include some information about the types of roles you are applying for, and why you are doing so. Try to show your interest and passion for the field you are hoping to enter, because employers want to hire people who have genuine motivation and drive in their work.

This is especially true if you don’t have much work experience, as you need something else to compensate for it.

CV personal statement mistakes

The things that you omit from your personal statement can be just as important as the things you include.

Try to keep the following out of your personal statement..

Irrelevant info

Any information that doesn’t fall into the requirements of your target roles can be cut out of your personal statement. For example, if you were a professional athlete 6 years ago, that’s great – but it won’t be relevant if you’re applying to advertising internships, so leave it out.

Generic clichés

If you are describing yourself as a “ dynamic team player with high levels of motivation and enthusiasm” you aren’t doing yourself any favours.

These cliché terms are vastly overused and don’t provide readers with any factual details about you – so keep them to a minimum.

Stick to solid facts like education, skills , experience, achievements and knowledge.

If you really want to ensure that your personal statement makes a big impact, you need to write in a persuasive manner.

So, how do you so this?

Well, you need to brag a little – but not too much

It’s about selling yourself and appearing confident, without overstepping the mark and appearing arrogant.

For example, instead of writing.

“Marketing graduate with an interest in entering the digital field”

Be creative and excite the reader by livening the sentence up like this,

“Marketing graduate with highest exam results in class and a passion for embarking on a long and successful career within digital”

The second sentence is a much more interesting, makes the candidate appear more confident, throws in some achievements, and shows off a wider range of writing skills.

Quick tip: A poorly written CV will fail to impress recruiters and employers. Use our quick-and-easy CV Builder to create a winning CV in minutes with professional templates and pre-written content for every industry.

Your own personal statement will be totally unique to yourself, but by using the above guidelines you will be able to create one which shows recruiters everything they need.

Remember to keep the length between 10-20 lines and only include the most relevant information for your target roles.

You can also check our school leaver CV example , our best CV templates , or our library of example CVs from all industries.

Good luck with the job hunt!

HEO CS SUCCESS

• Aug 15, 2021

How to Write Personal Statements

Updated: Dec 20, 2021

Personal Statements used to be entirely within the purview of EOIs, however, with the advent of Success Profiles, these are becoming much more common in substantive recruitments. The word count varies from 750 to 1250, don't feel daunted by this number though, we will walk through a basic model framework below.

You will be required to talk about your suitability for a role, against a handful of assessment criteria. These criteria will be found in the job specification and are loosely based on the Success Profile behaviours. The simplest thing to do is to insert your behaviour statements. Whilst this is the easiest way to produce statements, it lacks flare and doesn't take advantage of the looseness that personal statements provide versus the rigidity of simple 250 word behaviour statements.

Remember that the emphasis must be on evidence that you are capable of the behaviour, rather than assertions. These sorts of statements are better aimed at 'strength' based questions. There is a technique to giving really good evidence, see the behaviours page for more information.

Pay attention for any 'Lead criteria' as they will be assessed first!

For 1250 words, with 4 criteria we might word it like this:

Introduction: 100 words

Criterion 1: 250 words

Criterion 2: 250 words

Criterion 3: 250 words

Criterion 4: 250 words

Conclusion:100 words

A final thought is to remember that what the marker is looking for is clear evidence that you are achieving at the right level. Making that clear is the best thing you can do to boost your mark.

Recent Posts

Behaviours Explained

Coming up with ideas for your behaviours

This site requires JavaScript for certain functions and interactions to work. Please turn on JavaScript for the best possible experience.

Register for our newsletter

How to get promoted: what the government’s new success profiles mean for you

By Richard Johnstone

15 Sep 2018

A wide-ranging change to how government recruits for roles is being introduced across government. Whitehall’s chief people officer Rupert McNeil and other experts speak to CSW about what the move to success profiles will mean

A fundamental  part of civil service ethos is that it recruits fairly and on merit. To do that, it needs to make sure it is using the best and most up-to-date techniques to recruit across government. The man charged with setting those recruitment rules across government is chief people officer Rupert McNeil. And, as he tells Civil Service World, it isn’t as straightforward a process as setting the rules for a single organisation. Government is “an organisation of organisations, or even an organisation of organisations of organisations,” he says. “But it does have common approaches and our aim in all of employment practices is to be a model employer.”

It is with this aim in mind that McNeil has led the introduction of a new recruitment system, called success profiles, that is set to revolutionise how people are hired and promoted across the civil service.

This new approach, which was first revealed by civil service chief executive John Manzoni in May, is being rolled out to replace the existing civil service competency framework throughout the rest of this year and early next.

Developing an alternative to competency-based recruitment was one of the actions set out in the 2016 Civil Service Workforce Plan, which committed government to move “to a more meaningful and business focused framework of assessment”, and McNeil says the success profiles approach has “been in the works for a couple of years”.

Elements of a success profile

Ability : the aptitude or potential to perform to the required standard. Experience : the knowledge or mastery of an activity or subject gained through involvement in or exposure to it. Technical : the demonstration of specific professional skills, knowledge or qualifications. Behaviours : actions and activities that people do that result in effective performance in a job. Nine are named for use in success profiles. Strengths : things done regularly and that provide motivation. The government has set out a civil service strengths dictionary of 36 key qualities for working in government or exposure to it.

In an interview to discuss the new plans, he highlights that the legal requirement on the civil service to recruit in a fair and open basis means it needed to keep up with what he calls “the science of selection and career development”.

One of the key ways that recruitment has changed in recent years is the drive to not only improve but support diversity at work, and McNeil says the success profiles reflect the increasing emphasis on encouraging employees to ‘bring their whole self to work’, because they allow for a much more-rounded view in recruitment.

“What we had observed, particularly from feedback from civil servants at all levels, from hiring managers and vacancy holders in the civil service to people sitting on panels was [that] the competency framework was narrowing the way in which people were being assessed,” he says. “We weren’t getting a sense of the full person or allowing people to show themselves at their best.”

The old system focused on assessing competencies while also taking into account previous experience. Success profiles will allow a wider range of factors to be used, covering five areas: ability, experience, strengths, technical and behaviours. Hiring managers will use a combination of these five elements to develop a profile for roles they are recruiting, McNeil says, introducing more flexibility. 

“We looked at what other organisations were doing, and we did a lot of work looking at the insights that have particularly come out of work on diversity and inclusion, and how to get a rounded view of the individual,” he says. “Success profiles improves the process for everybody because it makes it fairer and more effective. It also allows one to look at aspects of someone which they might have developed in another context, for example raising family or outside work, and apply those more readily.”

These elements will be assessed in a number of different ways from current applications, which are based on short statements setting out how candidates meet a set of requirements. Depending on the type of roles being applied for, success profile applications and assessments could include application forms and CVs, interviews and presentations, online tests and assessment centres.

Rollout of the system has already begun, with the Department for Education and HM Revenue and Customs among the early adopters.

Richard Hillsdon, former civil service psychologist who has been helping some departments prepare for the new system as a consultant and associate trainer with CSW’s parent company Dods, said there had been a positive response to the new system. There was a feeling in government it was time for a change, he said.

“Competencies tell you whether people can do the job, perhaps, but they didn’t tell us whether they really want to or what they bring in terms of passion and energy,” he said.

Success profiles also better reflect the development of professional functions across government, championed by civil service chief executive John Manzoni.

“I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this coincides with the maturing of the functional model and the professional model,” says McNeil. “It becomes easier to say for finance jobs or HR jobs or any job, that there is a technical skillset that the profession in the civil service can say, ‘this is what we think someone at this level doing this kind of job should be able to do.” 

"The old competency system had become too rigid and too formulaic,” agrees Hillsdon. “People trotted out examples from their hard drives. It was often quite dry and flat, it wasn’t really about them as such.”

As well as the new system better reflecting how government has changed, Hillsdon says it also better meets the expectations of candidates.

“The overriding reaction from candidates is that they like the idea of strengths,” he notes.

“They’ll say things like, ‘oh, I can talk about myself and that’s been missing’. The idea of having more elements in the selection is about moving away from the stultifying effect of competencies to something which is much more alive and different.”

Top tips for candidates

McNeil says a strengths interview will feel different for candidates than “a not-very-well-done competency interview, let’s put it that way”, but urges candidates to embrace “the chance to express your full self and give rich examples of what you’ve done”.

Candidates will be able to evidence their experience in a host of ways, he says, with these including CVs, which may be less common for civil servants who have previously been applying using competency statements.

Candidates will need to develop their CVs, says Hillsdon, who highlights that “atmospherically, the process will feel different because it’s got a large element about them in it – they are going to talk about themselves”.

He urges candidates to develop their CVs and personal statements using a wide range of experiences, behaviours and strengths to match the essential criteria in job adverts.

Recruitment under the competency framework was “relatively running on rails” for experienced candidates. “In the past, they’d write competency-based statements – delivering at pace, the bigger picture. and so on,” he said. Now, they will need “a still evidenced but narrative based personal statement, developed through the thinking they have put into their own CV”, he adds.

This approach will be more familiar to those from outside government. “Strengths is a much better way of interviewing new staff from the outside and new graduates because they don’t know what a competency statement is. But they can talk about their travels hacking through the Amazonian forest, for example.”

McNeil urges candidates not to get “hung up on CVs” “It is not about having a particular typed piece of paper – there are lots of different ways of demonstrating the previous experience, including references.”

However, he notes that the system represents a big shift for recruiters in government – “a change away from just a one-dimensional selection to a multidimensional one”.

“In the past, we [in government] have only been interested in: ‘Can you do the job?’. Not: ‘Will you bring energy and commitment, and what kind of culture do you want to work in?’ We haven’t been in that business, we are now.”

In some of the early experiments with the new system, it is the recruiters – and in particular, interview panel members – who were “more spooked” by the changes, Hillsdon says, explaining that recruiters felt they had lost a “reference point” and a well-trodden methodology.

“Competencies tell you whether people can do the job, but not whether they really want to or what they bring in terms of passion and energy” Richard Hillsdon

As a result, there is a risk, says Hillsdon, that departments could sour on the reform “if they find it introduces more angst through less transparency and consistency in the process”. As they will decide which elements of the success profiles to match to each role, this will be crucial to the success of the reforms.

“I think that the recruiters will do it. There is no reason why we wouldn’t want to do these things if properly trained. Whether they will want to create really elaborate assessments, I’m not sure they will and whether resources will allow.”

“Where the real effort needs to take place is in the implementation and deployment,” he says. “We need to be very clear with people about what it is and what its purpose is. It is about allowing an individual’s full self and contribution to be recognised in all dimensions.”

Candidates will be able to show their suitability in a wider range of ways, he says.

“Experiences as evidenced on your CV, references, qualifications, these are all being taken into account. They may be have previously been taken into account through the sift, but I think we’re now saying to line managers to take this rounded view.”

As a result, the civil service will “need to make sure that, as far as possible, hiring managers are skilful in using it,” McNeil acknowledges. In particular, it is important that the job specs genuinely reflect the role, encompassing the growing functional agenda.

“One of the most striking things to me in on development of success profiles was that when we looked at the standard role profile and shaded yellow all the bits that you can evidence through the competency framework and actually they were very few [areas shaded],” he notes.

“I think for the professions, this means you can start to look at creating a consistent view of the essential criteria for a job – and being very disciplined about that, recognising that there are some things that someone might definitely need for a particular job.”

Top tips for hiring managers

McNeil says that success profiles give recruiters a new way of thinking about all the dimensions of the job, which “places a lot of responsibility and trust in the hiring managers – which I think is a good thing”.

This is focused on two elements – ensuring they define their roles using the broader palette offered by success profiles and making sure their interview skills are up to scratch.

“We will be quite careful about things like training people in using strengths,” he said. “If I think about all the things that I’ve been trained in in my career, I still think the hardest training I’ve done is interview training. It is a learned skill that needs to be maintained. In thinking about things like unconscious bias, people need to be present and investing the effort in doing selection.

“It’s not a skill like learning to ride a bike where you can just get back on it after 20 years – it is more like maintaining your cardiovascular fitness.”

Such an approach also corresponds with best practice for diversity and inclusion, he adds. “You need to make sure that people involved in selection are being reminded of their biases and skills they need to be deploying, and that is where departments, functions and the civil service as a whole is putting its effort.”

McNeil acknowledges that the behaviours set out in success profiles could be seen as “competency framework 2.0” but insists it will be a “really good challenge” to ensure that reforms happen on the ground.

He highlights how success profiles may differ using the example of project management roles. “The success profile for an 18-year-old apprentice in project management versus a band A project leader is going to be quite different,” he said. “Your interests in the 18-year-old’s CV is about their intellectual potential and the evidence that they can demonstrate that they’ve got a certain mindset and strengths.

“You’d want all that in the project leader, but you also want to be sure that you know what they have been doing for the last 10 years in managing projects. That is something which wants to encourage hiring managers to think about, with guidance from their professional and function, about what that should look like.”

The new system will also enable civil servants to plan their career around the strengths and behaviours set out in the success profile.

McNeil says: “Success profiles are linked to jobs, but that doesn’t stop an individual looking at themselves and saying: what is my success profile? What can I match against the jobs that I’m interested in and what is the thing I need to develop to be able to do a particular type of job?

“These are the discussions people should be having with the line managers about what they want to do next. It’s an opportunity to say: ‘I’d like to have this particular piece of experience because in five years’ time I’d love to be doing this’.”

The structure of success profiles – 36 strengths mapped to the nine key behaviours – may eventually change how people are assessed once they are in roles too.

“It is something that, in due course, gives a frame which can be used to performance management to give a broader view – and particularly in terms of development discussions,” he says.

“As an example, we have base camps now for new directors and I can talk about what the civil service thinks a director looks like in terms of behaviours and the strengths they should be demonstrating. And in that we were talking about success profiles as a way of framing one’s own development. That’s a key part of it.”

Such a change would require discussion with trade unions, who have been positive about the development of success profiles so far.

“Success profiles are linked to jobs, but that doesn’t stop an individual looking at themselves and saying: what is my success profile?” Rupert McNeil

Neil Rider, the head of FDALearn and Keyskills at the FDA union said it was a positive development and would like to see the ‘behaviours’ aspect adopted as soon as possible, but added there are elements of the strengths that need to be addressed, particularly around equality and diversity. “We have been engaging CSEP and have had a very positive response, so we are hopeful that these concerns can be addressed ahead of the wider rollout next year.”

Dave Allen, negotiations officer from Prospect also “cautiously welcomed” the reforms as some people struggled to demonstrate their skills with the competency framework.

“We recognise [the new system] will require quite a culture change,” he added, “and it will need quite an educational piece to support that.”

The Cabinet Office has agreed a schedule with departments to roll out the new system in the months ahead in order to ensure that culture change can take place  – “we are in the beta stage”, says McNeil, who says that the feedback from HMRC and DfE is “really great”. What is really fantastic is that the feedback is good on all dimensions – from unsuccessful candidates and their sense of the experience, from people who have got jobs to the hiring managers and the people that are in the process.

He expects to know if the changes have had the desired effects in two to three years, and he wants as much feedback as he can get. “We need to monitor it in real time and it is very important that our trade union partners and individual civil servants give direct feedback about how their experience, because that will allow us to change it. Let me know personally. It would be great to know.”

• Dods Training is helping departments prepare for success profiles. For more information email [email protected]

Read the most recent articles written by Richard Johnstone - Building the future: Steven Boyd on making government property work for the civil service

• Skip to main content
• Skip to primary sidebar

Career Building Jobs

CV, Interview and Job Application Tips

Understanding Civil Service Behaviours – Complete Guide to Application Success

When I applied for my very first job nearly 30 years ago it was an incredibly simple process. I called the number on the job advert and had an interview booked for that week.

The interview itself was straight forward. I was asked: What qualifications I had (and what qualifications am I in the process of attaining), What experience do I have (I had none!), What were my goals, What were my interests and finally, When can I start.

That was it. Total time investment 30 minutes.

Since then though the recruitment process has gotten steadily more and more complex – even for entry level roles!

Now when you are on the job hunt you need to have your CV, your cover letter , your personal statement, your S.T.A.R examples, your professional references, your personal references, your social media presence – all of these things.

And if you are applying ‘wide’ (i.e. not to any specific employer) you’ve got to learn all the different frameworks, values, culture fit or whatever the organisation has decided to call it.

Maybe I’m old but it does all seem exhausting. 

But that is how things are in the job market today. The only thing we can do is research the organisation we want to work for; learn how they operate, learn what it is they are looking for and then put our best foot forward.

If you are reading this then you are interested in applying for a job with the Civil Service – either that or you are lost!

The Civil Service – like I touched on before – have their own way of evaluating candidates. What they use to make recruitment decisions is something they have named ‘Success Profiles’ and a large part of these profiles are called the ‘Civil Service Behaviours’. These are behaviours which all applicants will be assessed against. 

And it is these Behaviours that we are going to look into today.

• 1 What are ‘Success Profiles’?
• 2.1 How are Behaviours assessed
• 2.2 Behaviour 250 Word Statement Example
• 3 Behaviour Interview Question Examples
• 4 Behaviour Application Tips
• 5 The 9 Behaviours
• 6.1 Where can I learn more about Success Profiles and Behaviours

What are ‘Success Profiles’?

Before we dive into the Behaviours it’s probably best to look at the wider context. The Civil Service moved away from pure competency based processes and into these “Success Profiles” just a few years ago. Let’s hear why straight from the horse’s mouth:

The Success Profile Framework moves recruitment away from using a purely competency based system of assessment. It introduces a more flexible framework which assesses candidates against a range of elements using a variety of selection methods. This will give the best possible chance of finding the right person for the job, driving up performance and improving diversity and inclusivity. https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/717279/Success_Profiles_Overview_2018.pdf

So what makes up this new “Success Profile”?

Success Profiles as you can see from the above image encompass 5 key areas that all candidates are judged against:

Ability – Probably somewhat obvious. Are you capable of doing what the job asks you to do? This is usually a binary measurement. Straight up or down, yes or no, can the candidate do the job or not.

Experience – Have you done this before or are you new to the job? This particular element will vary in how it is assessed based on the role. The higher up the role the more experience they will expect you to have. Fresh graduates – not so much experience required, Senior Project Managers – lots of experience required. 

Technical – Certain fields will require some level of technical knowledge. How are you going to prove that you possess this knowledge? Do you hold industry standard qualifications? can you evidence your technical knowledge through your career history? If called upon in an interview can you explain in depth your field and the field the job relates to? (this element is particularly relevant in Science fields, Engineering, IT Development)

Strengths – This element is based on the theory that doing something regularly means we are better at it. So be prepared for questions like “What does your average day look like”, “What do you like to do in your spare time”, things like that. Your interviewer is trying to see how often you perform certain activities to see if you have “Strengths” as they define it. Learn more about Civil Service Strengths

Behaviours – What we are here to discuss. I always compare Behaviours to personality traits. They look at the type of person we are and how that drives the actions we take, and whether we have the specific traits required for the job. There are 9 behaviours that are assessed within the framework. But don’t worry unless you are going for a very very senior role you are unlikely to be assessed on more than 3 or 4.

So let’s take a deeper dive into behaviours.

What are ‘Behaviours’?

For this let’s hear straight from the Civil Service’s own guidance again:

Behaviours are the actions and activities that people do which result in effective performance in a job. The Civil Service has defined a set of behaviours that, when demonstrated, are associated with job success. Civil Service Behaviours are specific to the grade level of the job role. It is important to remember that recruiting managers will choose a selection of behaviours which are best suited to the specific job role. You will not be asked to demonstrate all Civil Service Behaviours for one role. The examples of the behaviours are designed to give an overview of what is expected of individuals at each level. There is no expectation that all individuals will need to demonstrate every part of each example to be successful. https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/717275/CS_Behaviours_2018.pdf

How are Behaviours assessed

You can – and will – be assessed against the behaviours during every interaction you have with the organisation. You will however only be assessed against the behaviours that are outlined within the job advert. So always make sure you are fully aware which behaviours are relevant for the job you are applying for.

Here are the various ways you might be assessed:

I would call out that in all likelihood you will not take part in all of these activities. The most common activities you will see during your recruitment are: The application form (including a personal statement and multiple 250 word behaviour example statements), CV (redacted of personal information), the interview and any judgement tests you are required to take during the application.

Behaviour 250 Word Statement Example

Behaviour Interview Question Examples

Don’t expect any simple one word answer questions when you go into a behaviours interview. The questions you will get will all be designed to allow you to elaborate on your experience. A lot of “Tell me about a time…”, “Have you ever…”, “What happened when you…” type questions. Below are some of the questions that I have personally seen in be asked in a Civil Service Interview . 

Remember each behaviour will have its own set of questions; the key is to practice as many questions as you can for the specific behaviours you are being assessed on (which you should know from the job advert)

Tell me about a time when you have challenged the usual way of doing things to make things easier for the customer or for fellow colleagues? ( Changing and Improving Example)  

Tell me about a time when you needed to communicate bad news to a colleague or stakeholder ? ( Communicating and Influencing Example)

Tell me about a time when you were late delivering a piece of work? ( Delivering at Pace Example)

Tell me about a new skill or qualification you have learned over the last 6 months ? How did you choose that particular skill/qualification to learn and how have you used your new knowledge? ( Developing Self and Others Example)

Tell me about a time when you had to convince others to put in ‘the hard work’? ( Leadership Example)

Tell me about a time when your organisation didn’t go with the decision you made? Did you agree with their ultimate decision and what did you learn from this experience? ( Making Effective Decisions Example)

How do you identify customer needs when the customer is unsure on what it is they require? ( Managing a Quality Service Example)

How do you ensure that you have considered all stakeholder needs when undertaking a new initiative ? ( Seeing the Big Picture Example)

How would you deal with a senior member of staff who wants a junior colleague to shadow you, when you know that doing so will slow down your work? ( Working Together Example)

Behaviour Application Tips

We’ve talked a lot about the framework and about the process. We’ve looked at personal statement examples and we’ve had a look at some example interview questions. But what else can you do to put yourself ahead of all the other candidates:

1 – Use the S.T.A.R. system

2 – Remember that the recruitment team does not know you. You are a stranger to them. When you are telling them about your experience make sure you give a full account of your activities and that you provide any context that is required.

3 – Run your statements through a spell AND grammar check. Normally I am fine with spelling or grammar mistakes in a professional setting (I am sure there are a number on this site), but when applying for jobs there can be no errors. You will not believe the number of applications that are sent in where the applicant is touting an “Excellent Attention to Detail” and their statements are riddled with errors.

4 – Continuous Improvement is the hot item at the moment. It’s not enough to just be good at the job. You need to evidence that you are always looking for ways to improve. Improve yourself, improve the processes you work, improve your team and improve the organisation as a whole.

The 9 Behaviours

Here are the 9 Civil Service Behaviours along with a quick description of each. There is a lot more information to tell about each behaviour so if you need to know more about any specific behaviour then click the link within the description for a full breakdown of that behaviour.

Seeing the Big Picture – Assessing the candidates ability to understand how their actions impact other people/teams and the wider organisation. Learn more…

Making Effective Decisions – Assessing the candidates ability to source and then weigh up different options and recommend the best solution. Learn more…

Communicating and Influencing – Assessing the candidates ability to get their views across and get people on board with their way of thinking. Learn more…

Changing and Improving – Assessing the candidates ability to identify areas of improvement and assessing their motivation to implement these changes. Learn more…

Working Together – Assessing the candidates ability to work well with others. Learn more…

Developing Self and Others – Assessing the candidates drive for self-improvement via learning new skills and the impact this drive has on others. Learn more…

Managing a Quality Service – Assessing the candidates drive to produce high quality work and meet stakeholders needs. Learn more…

Delivering at Pace – Assessing the candidates ability to produce quality deliverables on time and within budget under limiting circumstances. Learn more…

Leadership – Assessing the candidates ability to lead a team and to motivate others. Learn more…

Where can I learn more about Success Profiles and Behaviours

You can read the Civil Service’s document on Success Profiles here , and their document on Behaviours here .

How can I improve my CV?

Let us take a look at your CV. Upload your CV below and someone will review it and reply back in a day or so with some tips on how you can change your CV to improve your chances at success:

Submit Your CV For Review

Academic Personal Statement Guide + Examples for 2024

You have a bright future ahead of you in academia and you’ve already found the program of your dreams.

The only problem? 

You have to write an impressive academic personal statement that sets you apart from a sea of applicants.

We know that writing about yourself might not come naturally. And when the academic program you have your sights set on is on the line, it doesn’t make it any easier.

But there’s no need to worry!

We’ve prepared this guide to help you write your academic personal statement and secure your spot in your program of choice.

In this article, we’re going to cover:

• What Is An Academic Personal Statement?
• 7 Steps to Writing the Best Academic Personal Statement
• An Example of a Stellar Academic Personal Statement

Let’s dive in.

You’ll need an academic CV alongside your personal statement. Create one with ease with Novorésumé !

What Is an Academic Personal Statement?

A personal statement is an essential part of the academic application process.

Much like a motivation letter , your academic personal statement serves to demonstrate why you’re the right candidate for the course and sell yourself as a capable student.

Your goal is to show the admissions committee that they’ll benefit from having you in their university as much as you’ll benefit from joining the program.

Academic Vs CV Personal Statement

The term ‘personal statement’ can mean different things depending on your field.

In the world of job hunting, a personal statement usually refers to a few sentences that go at the top of your CV . This paragraph is meant to convey your top skills, relevant experiences, and professional goals to a hiring manager from the get-go and increase your chances of getting an interview.

However, in the world of academia, a personal statement refers to a more in-depth description of you as a candidate. 

In a nutshell, an academic personal statement shows the admissions committee your academic achievements so far, as well as what motivated you to apply and pursue this position.

Personal statements are also often required when applying for certain jobs, much like writing a cover letter . If you’re looking at a position as a faculty member in a university or other academic institution, for example, you might be asked to provide an academic personal statement.

7 Steps to Write an Academic Personal Statement

Preparation is the key to success and this is exactly where our guide comes in handy.

So just follow these steps and you’re sure to secure your spot:

#1. Read the Brief (Carefully!)

Academic personal statements aren’t necessarily a one-size-fits-all piece of writing. 

Typically, every institution has its specific requirements on what candidates should include in their academic personal statement.

To make sure you’re on the right track with your academic personal statement, read the brief carefully. Consider taking notes and highlighting important points from your program’s brief as you go through it.

Pay attention to any specific question the university wants you to answer. If you don’t address everything the admissions board expects, your personal statement will look sloppy and you’ll be considered an inattentive candidate.

Be sure to re-read the brief after you’ve finished writing your academic personal statement, too. This way you can make sure you’ve answered everything adequately and you’ll have the opportunity to correct any slips.

#2. Research the Program

Make sure you do your homework on the academic program you’re applying to.

You can’t write a good academic personal statement without research, let alone a great one. Much like researching your employer , taking the time to learn more about your desired school and personalizing your application can make a huge difference.

For example, you can dive into how your values align with that of the school you’re applying to, and how your experience and interests relate to specific things about the program. The more you focus on how you’re the right fit for this specific position, in this specific program – the better.

Carefully read through the school and program’s official pages since everything you would need to know is probably on the school’s official website. You can also ask current and former students for help but remember that whatever they say should never replace official information when crafting your academic personal statement.

#3. Plan Your Statement

An academic personal statement is meant to explain your academic interests and shouldn’t contain irrelevant details about your personal life.

Focus on why you want to study the course you’ve chosen and provide any information about your achievements so far.

Ask yourself the following questions to get the ball rolling on what to write:

• Why do you want to study (or work) in this program? How will it benefit you?
• How do your skills match the position?
• What makes you stand out from other applicants?
• What are your exact career aspirations?
• How can you and your work benefit the institution you’re applying to?
• If you changed fields, how did you decide to apply in this direction?
• What insight can you bring thanks to your different experiences?
• How will this change of field help your future career?

Write down your answer to these questions in the first draft of your academic personal statement.

#4. Look at Example Statements

Don’t hesitate to read other people’s academic personal statements online. They’re a great source of inspiration and can help get rid of any remaining writer’s block.

If you’re struggling to understand how to meet the language and formatting requirements for your academic personal statement, seeing actual examples is the best way to learn.

But be careful – don’t copy any lines you read, no matter how impressive you think they are. 

Most universities run every academic personal statement through intensive plagiarism checking, and even a paraphrased sentence could lead to your application being rejected for plagiarism.

So pay more attention to the overall structure of the academic personal statements you read, rather than copying the exact wording.

#5. Structure the Contents

There should be a cohesive argument that your entire essay follows. Each sentence and paragraph should complement and build on the one that comes before it.

The structure of your personal statement should include:

An intriguing introduction to you as a candidate

The introductory paragraph should grab the admission committee’s attention and keep them engaged.

Here you should be sure to avoid cliches like saying how you’ve “always dreamt” of graduating from this university or of studying this exact program. Instead, give an example of what really influenced you to pursue this dream.

Here’s an example:

• I’ve always loved reading and since I was a child, it’s been my dream to graduate from Oxford University and contribute to the world of literary analysis. That’s why I spent the past year volunteering at my local writers’ society and giving constructive feedback during workshops and book discussions.
• It wasn’t until I failed my first essay assignment in secondary school that I realized the depth that lies beneath each sentence in a given text. I began to delve into the rich layers of literary texts and the intricacies of literary analysis became my passion. Although initially challenging, the depth of understanding that this field offers about human emotions, cultural contexts, and narrative structures enthralled me. I found myself questioning the narrative structures and character motivations that I had previously taken for granted, and I was eager to understand how the subtle and often overlooked elements within a text could have a profound impact on its overall interpretation. This need to fundamentally understand a given author’s work has stayed with me since and led me to pursue literary analysis as a postgraduate student.

An engaging body

The main part of your academic personal statement should detail your interests, experience, and knowledge, and how they make you suitable for the position.

This is where you should expand on your motivation and use the following tips:

• Why this university? Provide strong reasons for your choice, related to your future career or the institution’s reputation.
• Mention your relevant studies and experience. This includes projects, dissertations, essays, or work experience.
• Give evidence of key skills you have, such as research, critical thinking, communication, and time management, and explain how you can contribute to the department with them.
• Say what makes you unique as a candidate and provide an example.
• Explain who have been the main influences who put you on this path and why they’ve influenced you.
• Mention other relevant experiences, such as memberships in clubs related to the subject, awards you might have won, or impressive papers you’ve written.
• Talk about your career aspirations and how the program ties into your goal of achieving them.

Depending on the guidelines of the specific university, you could also divide your academic personal statement’s body with subheadings, such as:

• Academic background
• Research interests
• Methodological approaches
• Research experience
• Personal experience
• Extracurricular activities 
• Relevant skills
• Career aspirations

A logical conclusion

Your academic personal statement needs a conclusion that ends on an enthusiastic note.

Make sure the conclusion reiterates the main points from the body of your text.

Your relevant accomplishments and desire to attend this specific program should be clear to any reader.

#6. Pay Attention to the Language

When writing the first draft of your academic personal statement, pay attention to the language and tone you’re using.

An academic personal statement is also a formal text, so your writing should reflect that. Colloquialisms aren’t appropriate, as they would take away from the well-mannered impression you want to give the admissions committee.

However, you also want your personal statement to be straightforward and avoid any complex jargon from your field of study.

For example, your opening sentence shouldn’t be overly complicated. You should communicate everything as clearly as possible, and be inclusive to those outside of your field of study since they might be on the admissions board that’s reading your academic personal statement.

Make sure that the tone throughout your text is positive and conveys your enthusiasm for the program. Your academic personal statement should show the admissions committee that you really want to be there, and why that’s beneficial to everyone involved.

#7. Proofread Your Statement

This step probably isn’t surprising to you but it’s worth paying attention to.

Your academic personal statement is a very formal document and it should be spotless. 

So, make sure it adheres to academic writing conventions . For example, contractions like “I’m” instead of “I am” are informal, and should be avoided.

Mistakes like these are very common when writing about yourself, particularly when you’re used to describing yourself in informal environments.

Carefully proofread your academic personal statement, then run it through a grammar checker like Grammarly or Quillbot, then proofread it again.

The tiniest grammar mistake or typo could make the admissions board reject your application.

Academic Personal Statement Example

Ever since my first encounter with the enchanting worlds spun by Flaubert, Balzac, and Proust, my intellectual pursuits have gravitated toward French literature. With an undergraduate degree focused on French Language and Literature, I have been fortunate to explore my passions both theoretically and empirically, embedding them within broader themes of cultural theory and comparative literature. It is with great excitement that I apply for the postgraduate research position in the French Literature program at Kent University, with the aim of contributing novel scholarly perspectives to this captivating field.

Academic Background and Research Interests

During my undergraduate studies, I delved deeply into the realms of 19th-century Realism and Naturalism. My senior thesis, which examined the dialectics of morality and social structures in Balzac's "La Comédie Humaine," was not merely an academic exercise; it served as a crucible where my theoretical understandings were rigorously tested. This research experience intensified my interest in the complex interplay between literature and societal norms, a theme I am eager to further explore in my postgraduate work.

Methodological Approaches

My academic approach is fundamentally interdisciplinary. I strongly believe that literature should not be studied in a vacuum; rather, it should be contextualized within historical, sociological, and psychological paradigms. During a semester abroad in Paris, I took courses in cultural anthropology and French history, an enriching experience that complemented my literature-focused studies. This holistic approach will enable me to contribute a multifaceted perspective to the research endeavors at Kent University.

Previous Research and Scholarly Engagements

My scholarly activities have also extended beyond the classroom. Last summer, I participated in an international conference on French Literature and Post-Colonial Theory, presenting a paper on the depictions of colonial landscapes in Dumas' adventure novels. The opportunity to engage with academics from various disciplines provided me with fresh insights and underscored the importance of collaborative research. Further, I've had the honor of having a review article published in the Sheffield Journal of Contemporary Literary Explorations, where I critiqued a groundbreaking new translation of Verne's works.

Extracurricular Contributions and Skills

In addition to my academic achievements, I have sought to enrich my department’s intellectual community. I served as the editor of our departmental journal and organized a series of seminars featuring guest speakers from the worlds of academia and publishing. My strong organizational skills, combined with proficiency in both written and spoken French and English, make me a versatile candidate capable of adding value to the French Literature program’s broader objectives.

To summarize, my deep-rooted passion for French literature, fortified by rigorous academic training and interdisciplinary methodologies, makes me an ideal candidate for the postgraduate research position in your esteemed program. The prospect of contributing to academic discourse at Kent University is an opportunity I find deeply compelling. I am especially excited about the potential for collaborative research and interdisciplinary inquiries, which aligns perfectly with my academic philosophy. I am fully committed to leveraging my skills, experiences, and enthusiasm to make a substantive scholarly contribution to the study of French Literature. Thank you for considering my application; I am keenly looking forward to the possibility of furthering my academic journey in this vibrant intellectual community.

FAQs on Academic Personal Statements

If you’re wondering anything else about academic personal statements, check out the answers to the most frequently asked questions related to them here:

#1. How do you start a personal statement for an academic job?

Applying for an academic job is different from applying for a position as a student. First, you need to establish your qualifications and enthusiasm for the role immediately.

Start by explaining your current status, for example, as a postdoctoral researcher or an experienced member of the faculty, and specify the position you are applying for. Then follow up with your research interests or personal philosophy towards teaching.

You can add a personal anecdote or compelling fact that summarizes your academic journey so far, or your passion for the field. After that, your academic personal statement can go deeper into the qualifications from your academic CV and how you’re a great fit for the position.

#2. How do I introduce myself in an academic personal statement?

The introduction of your academic personal statement is the key to grabbing the attention of the admissions committee.

Start by stating the field or subject that interests you, and why. You can share a specific personal anecdote or observation that led you to this academic pursuit and set the stage for the detailed explanation in your main body.

The goal of your introduction is to give the reader a sense of who you are, what drives you, and why you would be a valuable addition to their department.

#3. Is an academic personal statement like an essay?

Yes, an academic personal statement can be considered a type of essay.

Both essays and academic personal statements are structured forms of writing that are meant to deliver a coherent argument and are divided into an introduction, body, and conclusion. They provide supporting evidence to prove the point and maintain a logical flow to guide the reader to the final conclusion.

However, essays tend to be objective and explore a specific topic or question in depth. Academic personal statements use similar techniques but they present the candidate’s qualifications, experiences, and aspirations in a way that’s meant to persuade the admissions committee.

#4. How long is an academic personal statement?

Typically, an academic personal statement is between 500 and 1000 words long.

The exact length of the text varies depending on the university and program you’re applying to. You should always check the specific requirements for your desired program, and stick to the guidelines you find.

However, if the university you’re applying to doesn’t specify a word count, you should aim for one to two pages.

#5. What do I avoid in an academic personal statement?

Since your personal statement is a crucial part of your academic application, it’s important to avoid any common mistakes.

Make sure the content of your academic personal statement isn’t too generic. Its goal is to give insight into you as an individual, beyond what can be read in your CV . 

You should also avoid cramming too many points in your text. Your academic personal statement should follow a logical flow, and focus on the relevance of what you’re sharing about yourself and how it relates to the academic program you’re pursuing.

Key Takeaways

And that concludes our guide to writing an academic personal statement!

We hope you feel more confident when crafting your application for that academic program or faculty position you have your sights set on.

Now let’s recap what we talked about so far:

• Academic personal statements are very different from CV personal statements. While CV personal statements are brief paragraphs at the top of the page, an academic personal statement is an in-depth text that details why you’re interested in a given position, and what makes you a good candidate.
• The guidelines on academic personal statements vary according to the institution you’re applying to. Read the brief very carefully, and pay attention to what it says about word count and questions your personal statement should answer. Any mistakes here could result in rejection.
• There are differences between applying for a postgraduate program and applying for a faculty position. But in both cases, you should research the exact place you want to apply to and adjust your application accordingly to match the institution’s values.
• Always proofread your academic personal statement before sending it, even if you’re sure there are no errors.

To provide a safer experience, the best content and great communication, we use cookies. Learn how we use them for non-authenticated users.

Mastering the Personal Statement Format: A Guide

Craft a standout personal statement with essential elements. Impress admissions committees with your compelling narrative.

When it comes to college and university admissions, the personal statement assumes a paramount role in setting applicants apart from their peers. A meticulously constructed personal statement becomes an instrument of utmost significance, empowering individuals to exhibit their distinctive qualities, experiences, and aspirations to discerning admissions committees. 

Recognizing the significant influence of a well-crafted personal statement on an individual’s academic journey, this article aims to provide aspiring students with a comprehensive guide to excel in the art of creating impactful personal statements.

By exploring the definition and purpose of personal statements and offering invaluable writing tips and strategies, this guide assists users in mastering the format of a compelling personal statement.

Definition Of Personal Statement

A personal statement is a written document typically required as part of the application process for educational institutions, scholarships, job opportunities, or other significant life events. It serves as a unique and personalized representation of an individual’s background, experiences, achievements, and aspirations. 

The personal statement offers applicants a chance to showcase their personality, passions, and motivations, allowing them to stand out and make a compelling case for their suitability for the position or opportunity they are seeking.

Purpose Of A Personal Statement

The primary purpose of a personal statement is to provide the admissions committee, employer, or selection panel with deeper insights into the applicant’s character, values, and potential. Beyond the information provided in other application materials, such as grades or resumes, a personal statement delves into the applicant’s story, offering a glimpse into their life journey and how it has shaped their ambitions and goals.

By presenting a well-crafted personal statement, applicants aim to:

• Demonstrate their suitability: Applicants can use the personal statement to highlight how their skills, experiences, and passions align with the requirements of the institution or position they are applying for.
• Convey their uniqueness: A personal statement enables applicants to showcase what sets them apart from other candidates and demonstrate their individuality, perspectives, and strengths.
• Exhibit strong communication skills: Crafting an engaging and articulate personal statement reflects an applicant’s ability to express ideas clearly and persuasively, a crucial skill in many fields.
• Show commitment and motivation: By explaining their motivations and aspirations, applicants can convey their dedication and determination to succeed in the chosen field of study or profession.

Admissions Process Overview

The admissions process varies depending on the institution or opportunity being pursued. However, the general steps involved in the admissions process include:

• Research and exploration: Prospective applicants research various educational institutions, job opportunities, or scholarships to identify the ones that align with their interests and goals.
• Application submission: Applicants complete the required application forms and submit supporting documents, which may include academic transcripts, letters of recommendation, resumes, and the personal statement.
• Review by admissions committee or employer: The admissions committee or employer evaluates all received applications, assessing candidates based on their academic achievements, experiences, qualifications, and the content of their personal statements.
• Selection and decision-making: After careful evaluation, the institution or employer makes decisions regarding acceptance, job offers, or scholarship awards.

Components Of A Successful Personal Statement

A successful personal statement should incorporate the following components:

• Introduction: A compelling opening that grabs the reader’s attention and provides a glimpse of the applicant’s personality and background.
• Personal narrative: A well-structured and engaging account of the applicant’s life experiences, including challenges faced, significant achievements, and pivotal moments.
• Clear goals and aspirations: A demonstration of the applicant’s future plans, showing how the opportunity they seek aligns with their long-term objectives.
• Relevance to the opportunity: A clear connection between the applicant’s experiences, skills, and motivations with the specific program, job, or scholarship they are applying for.
• Demonstration of qualities and strengths: Showcase of key attributes, such as leadership, adaptability, problem-solving abilities, and teamwork skills, supported by relevant examples.
• Reflection and growth: Demonstrating how past experiences have shaped the applicant’s personal and professional development and how they have learned from challenges.
• Conciseness and clarity: Effective communication with a focus on coherence, relevance, and avoiding unnecessary details or jargon.
• Positive tone: A positive and optimistic outlook that leaves a lasting impression on the reader.
• Proofreading and editing: Thoroughly reviewed and edited to ensure impeccable grammar, spelling, and overall presentation.

Personal Statement Format: The Basics

The personal statement is a critical component of various applications, providing applicants with a platform to present their unique qualities, experiences, and aspirations. 

In this section, let’s explore the fundamental format of a personal statement, comprising the introduction paragraph, body paragraphs, and conclusion paragraph . Understanding these elements will empower applicants to effectively communicate their story and convince the reader of their suitability for the desired opportunity.

Introduction Paragraph

The introduction paragraph marks the beginning of the personal statement and serves as a gateway to the applicant’s narrative. Here, applicants aim to capture the reader’s attention, provide essential background information about themselves, and present the overarching theme or purpose of their personal statement. The introduction sets the tone for the entire document and offers the opportunity to make a memorable first impression.

Body Paragraphs

The body paragraphs constitute the heart of the personal statement, where applicants delve into their experiences, accomplishments, and motivations in greater detail. Each body paragraph should revolve around a distinct topic or aspect of the applicant’s life that aligns with the central theme established in the introduction. Here, applicants can showcase their personal growth, relevant skills, and how specific experiences have shaped their aspirations. By providing compelling evidence and anecdotes, the body paragraphs reinforce the applicant’s suitability for the opportunity they are pursuing.

Conclusion Paragraph

In the conclusion paragraph, applicants bring their personal statement to a thoughtful close. This section restates the main points highlighted in the body paragraphs, emphasizing the alignment between the applicant’s journey and the sought-after opportunity. The conclusion may also include reflective insights, demonstrating self-awareness and an understanding of the potential impact they could make in the future. A well-crafted conclusion leaves a lasting impression, leaving the reader with a sense of the applicant’s character and potential.

Formatting The Personal Statement Essay

When crafting a well-structured personal statement, the writer must not overlook the importance of proper formatting. The arrangement of text, choice of font, and adherence to specific guidelines can significantly influence the essay’s overall impact and readability. Here are the key components of formatting that contribute to the transformation of essays into polished and impactful pieces of writing.

Font And Size

The recommended font for academic essays is typically Times New Roman, Arial, or Calibri. The standard font size is 12 points. This size ensures that the text is clear and readable without being too large or too small. Avoid using fancy or decorative fonts as they can distract from the content and may not be as legible.

Margins And Spacing

The standard margins for an essay are usually set at 1 inch on all sides (top, bottom, left, and right). This margin size provides a neat and balanced appearance to the document. Some institutions or formatting guidelines may require specific margin sizes, so it’s essential to check the requirements provided by the institution or instructor.

For spacing, the most common format is double-spacing throughout the entire essay. Double-spacing makes the text easier to read and allows space for comments or corrections if the essay needs to be reviewed or graded. However, some guidelines may require single-spacing for specific elements like block quotes or reference lists. Always follow the specific instructions, if available. 

Essays often have a specific page limit or word count that students must adhere to. The page limit indicates the maximum number of pages that the essay can occupy. If there is no specified page limit, the general guideline is to aim for around 1.5 to 2 pages for a standard personal statement essay.

If a page limit is provided, it’s essential to stay within that limit. Going significantly over the page limit may result in a bad impression, in some cases, the essay being rejected outright. On the other hand, if the essay is shorter than the specified page limit, students should use the extra space to expand on their ideas or provide more supporting evidence.

Writing Tips And Strategies for Personal Statement Format

Crafting a compelling personal statement is a crucial step in various application processes, whether it’s for college admissions, scholarships, or job opportunities. This document offers applicants a chance to stand out from the crowd and present their unique qualities, experiences, and aspirations. To create an impactful personal statement, consider the following writing tips and strategies:

Show Don’t Tell Strategy

One of the most effective ways to engage the reader and make your personal statement memorable is by employing the “Show Don’t Tell” strategy. Rather than simply stating facts or qualities about yourself, use vivid and specific examples to illustrate your strengths, experiences, and character traits. Instead of saying, “I am a determined and resilient individual,” provide a story that demonstrates your determination and resilience in overcoming a challenging situation. By showing your qualities through compelling narratives, you allow the reader to connect with your experiences on a deeper level.

Start With An Outline Or Brainstorming Session

Before diving into writing, take the time to create an outline or engage in a brainstorming session. Jot down key points, experiences, and ideas that you want to include in your personal statement. Organize them logically to form a coherent structure. Having a clear outline or list of ideas will help you maintain focus and prevent your personal statement from becoming disjointed. It will also ensure that you cover all essential aspects of your life and aspirations, creating a comprehensive and well-rounded essay.

Reflect On Your Experiences

Take time to reflect on your life experiences, both personal and academic. Identify significant events, challenges, achievements, and moments that have shaped your character and influenced your goals.

Showcase Your Authenticity

Be genuine and authentic in your writing. Avoid using clichés or trying to present yourself as someone you’re not. Admissions committees and employers appreciate honesty and real-life experiences.

Structure Your Statement

Organize your personal statement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion. The introduction should engage the reader, while the body paragraphs should provide evidence and examples to support your central theme. The conclusion should leave a lasting impression and reiterate your main points.

Provide Concrete Examples

Support your claims and assertions with specific examples, anecdotes, or achievements. Concrete evidence strengthens your statement and helps the reader connect with your experiences.

Address Weaknesses, But Stay Positive

If you have any weaknesses in your application, such as low grades or employment gaps, you can address them in your personal statement. However, always maintain a positive tone and focus on how you have learned from those experiences and improved.

Online Infographic Maker For Science

Mind the Graph is an online infographic maker designed for scientists, offering pre-made templates, a drag-and-drop interface, and an extensive library of scientific illustrations. By enhancing communication, increasing impact, saving time, and promoting open science, Mind the Graph empowers scientists to effectively convey their research to a broader audience and enhance their credibility within the scientific community.

Subscribe to our newsletter

Exclusive high quality content about effective visual communication in science.

Unlock Your Creativity

Create infographics, presentations and other scientifically-accurate designs without hassle — absolutely free for 7 days!

About Jessica Abbadia

Jessica Abbadia is a lawyer that has been working in Digital Marketing since 2020, improving organic performance for apps and websites in various regions through ASO and SEO. Currently developing scientific and intellectual knowledge for the community's benefit. Jessica is an animal rights activist who enjoys reading and drinking strong coffee.

Content tags

What are your chances of acceptance?

Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance.

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

How to Write a Personal Statement for a Scholarship + Examples

What’s covered:, what is the purpose of the scholarship personal statement, what to include in your personal statement, personal statement example: breakdown + analysis, how to make sure your writing is effective.

Either before or after you’ve gotten into your dream school, you’ll have to figure out how to pay for it. For most students, this involves a combination of financial aid, parent contributions, self-contributions, student loans, and scholarships/grants. Because scholarships are money out of someone else’s pocket that you never have to pay back, they are a great place to start!

Scholarships come in two forms: merit-based and need-based. Need-based scholarships are also often called grants. These designations tell you whether an organization looks at your financial situation when deciding about your scholarship.

Additionally, different scholarships fall under different categories based on the mission of the organization or person providing the scholarship’s financing. These missions typically emphasize different things like academic achievement, specific career goals, community service, leadership, family background, skill in the arts, or having overcome hardship. As you select scholarships to apply for and complete your applications, you should keep these missions in mind.

No matter what type of scholarship you are applying for, you will be asked to provide the review committee with standard materials. This includes your transcript, GPA, and resume/extracurriculars, but also, importantly, your personal statement. A scholarship personal statement is a bit different from your normal college essay, so we’ve put together this guide and some examples to help you get started!

The purpose of your personal statement is to help a review committee learn more about your personality, values, goals, and what makes you special. Ultimately, like with your college essays, you are trying to humanize your profile beyond your transcript, GPA, and test scores.

College essays all have one goal in mind (which is why you can apply to multiple schools at once through applications like the Common App or Coalition App): convince admissions officers that you would be a valuable addition to the university environment. The goal of your scholarship personal statement is different and differs more from one scholarship to the next. Rather than convincing various review committees that you are a generally good candidate for extra funding for college, you need to convince each review committee that your values have historically aligned with their organization’s mission and will continue to align with their organization’s mission.

Common missions amongst those who give scholarships include:

• Providing opportunities for students with career ambitions in a particular field
• Helping students who have experienced unexpected hardship
• Supporting students who show outstanding academic achievement
• Funding the arts through investing in young artists with strong technical skill
• Supporting the development of civic-minded community service leaders of the future
• Providing opportunities for historically underrepresented ethnic communities 

If a specific mission like this is outlined on an organization’s website or in the promotional material for its scholarship, the purpose of your personal statement is to show how you exemplify that mission.

Some scholarships ask for your personal statement to be guided by a prompt, while others leave things open for interpretation. When you are provided a prompt, it is obvious what you must do: answer the prompt. When you are not provided a prompt, you want to write a personal statement that is essentially a small-scale autobiography where you position yourself as a good investment. In either case, you should identify a focus or theme for what you are trying to say about yourself so that your application does not get lost in the shuffle.

Prompts include questions like:

• Why do you deserve this scholarship?
• How have you shown your commitment to (leadership/community service/diversity) in your community?
• When did you overcome adversity?
• Why is attending college important to you?

If you are provided a prompt, develop a theme for your response that showcases both your values and your achievements. This will help your essay feel focused and will subsequently help the review committee to remember which candidate you were as they deliberate.

Themes include things like:

• I deserve this community service scholarship because my compassion for intergenerational trauma has inspired me to volunteer with a local after-school program. I didn’t just sympathize. I did something about my sympathy because that’s the type of person I am. Within the program, I have identified avenues for improvement and worked alongside full-time staff to develop new strategies for increasing attendance.
• I overcame adversity when my mother had to have a major surgery two months after giving birth to my younger brother. I was just a kid but was thrown into a situation where I had to raise another kid. It was hard, but I’m the kind of person who tries to grow from hard times and, through my experience taking care of a baby, I learned the importance of listening to body language and nonverbal cues to understand the needs of others (baby and nonbaby, alike).

Without a prompt, clarity can be harder to achieve. That said, it is of the utmost importance that you find a focus. First, think about both your goals and your values.

Types of goals include:

• Career goals
• Goals for personal growth
• The type of friend you want to be
• The change you want to make in the world

Values could include:

• Authenticity
• And many more!

After you write out your goals/values, write out your achievements to see what goals/values you have “proof” of your commitment to. Your essay will ultimately be an exploration of your goal/value, what you have done about your goal/value in the past, and what you aspire to in the future.

You might be tempted to reflect on areas for improvement, but scholarships care about you living out your values. It is not enough to aspire to be exemplary in leadership, community service, or your academic field. For scholarships, you have to already be exemplary.

Finally, keep in mind that the review committee likely already has a copy of your extracurricular activities and involvement. Pick one or two accomplishments, then strive for depth, not breadth as you explore them.

My interest in the field of neuroscience began at a young age.  When I was twelve years old, my sister developed a condition called Pseudotumor Cerebri following multiple concussions during a basketball game.  It took the doctors over six months to make a proper diagnosis, followed by three years of treatment before she recovered.  During this time, my love for neuroscience was sparked as I began to research her condition and, then, other neurocognitive conditions.  Later, my love of neuroscience was amplified when my mother began to suffer from brain-related health issues.  My mother had been a practicing attorney in Dallas for over twenty years.  She was a determined litigator who relentlessly tried difficult cases that changed people’s lives.  Now, she suffers from a cognitive impairment and is no longer able to practice law.  Oftentimes, she has headaches, she gets “cloudy,” her executive functioning slows down, she feels overwhelmed, and she forgets things.  My mother has gone from being the strong, confident, emotional and financial caretaker of our family to needing significant help on a daily basis. Once again, with this illness came a lot of research on my part — research that encouraged me to pursue my dreams of exploring neuroscience.

Due to my experiences with my mother and sister when I was in middle school, I knew that I wanted to make a difference in the field of neuroscience.  I also knew that, to obtain this goal, I needed to maintain superior grades in school while also pursuing opportunities outside of school to further my education.  In school, I was able to maintain superior grades to the point where I am currently valedictorian in a class of 567 students.  In addition, in school, I challenged myself by taking 16 Advanced Placement classes and 19 Honors classes.  Two of the most beneficial classes were AP Capstone Seminar and AP Capstone Research.  AP Capstone Seminar and AP Capstone Research are research-oriented classes where students are given the opportunity to pursue whatever track their research takes them down.  As a junior in AP Capstone Seminar, I researched the effects of harmful pesticide use on the prevalence of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) in children.  This year, as a senior in AP Capstone Research, I am learning about the effects of medical marijuana on the treatment of Multiple Sclerosis (MS).  

Outside of school, I furthered my education through taking advantage of the Duke TiP summer program. Duke TiP is a summer program run by Duke University where students who score extremely well on the SAT as middle schoolers are able to take college classes at different universities throughout the summers of their middle school and high school years.  I took advantage of this opportunity twice.  First, I went to Trinity University in San Antonio to expand my horizons and learn more about debate.  However, once I was done exploring, I decided I wanted to go into neuroscience.  This led me to take an Abnormal Psychology class at Duke University’s West Campus.  This class opened my eyes to the interaction between neuroscience and mental health, mental illness, and personality.  Years later, I am currently continuing my education outside of school as an intern at the University of Texas Dallas Center for Brain Health.  Through this internship, I have been able to see different aspects of neuroscience including brain pattern testing, virtual reality therapy, and longitudinal research studies.  With this background, I have positioned myself to be accepted by top neuroscience programs throughout the nation.  So far, I have been accepted to the neuroscience department of University of Southern California, the University of Virginia, the University of Texas, and Southern Methodist University, as well as the chemistry department at University of North Carolina–Chapel Hill.  

It is with this passion for neuroscience driven by my family and passion for education driven by internal motivation that I will set out to conquer my career objectives.  My educational aspirations consist of acquiring a bachelor’s degree in a biological or health science that would assist me in pursuing a medical career as a neuroscience researcher.  I decided to attain a career as a researcher since my passion has always been assisting others and trying to improve their quality of life.  After obtaining my Masters and my PhD, I plan to become a professor at a prestigious university and continue performing lab research on cognitive disorders.  I am particularly interested in disorders such as Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).  In the lab, I hope to find different therapies and medications to help treat the 3.5 million people around the world suffering from ASD.  Furthermore, I want to contribute back to underserved populations that struggle because they do not have as much access to medical assistance as other privileged groups.  As such, I hope to do a part of my research in less developed or developing Spanish-speaking countries. This will also allow me to pursue my love of Spanish while pursuing my love of neuroscience.  I think that following such a career path will provide me the opportunity to learn about the medical needs of the autistic community and improve their quality of health.  Furthermore, I hope to train a new generation of students to strive to research and make comparable discoveries.  Whether it be through virtual reality labs or new drug discoveries, I believe that research leads to innovation which leads to a brighter future. 

This student does a great job of making themself appear competent and dedicated to the field of neuroscience. This is primarily because they provided tangible evidence of how they have pursued their dedication in the past—through their AP Capstone courses, their Abnormal Psychology class at Duke TiP, and their internship at UTD. There is no doubt in the mind of a reader that this student is high-achieving. 

This student also engages successfully with a past-future trajectory, where they end with a vision of how they will continue to use neuroscience in the future. This helps the review committee see what they are investing in and the ways that their money will go to good use.

This student has two major areas for improvement. As we have said, the purpose of a personal statement is for a student to humanize themself to a review committee. This student struggles to depict themself separately from their academic achievements. A solution to this would be for the student to establish a theme towards the beginning of their essay that relates to both their values as a human and their achievements.

At the beginning of the essay, the student explores how their interest in neuroscience began. They explain their interest through the following sentences: “During this time, my love for neuroscience was sparked as I began to research her condition and, then, other neurocognitive conditions” and “Once again, with this illness came a lot of research on my part — research that encouraged me to pursue my dreams of exploring neuroscience.” The student made the great decision to tell the backstory of their interest, but they described their research in very mundane and redundant terms. Instead, they could have focused on their value of intellectual curiosity as a magnetic force that encouraged them to research their mother and sister’s ailments. Curiosity, then, could serve as a value-related thematic throughline to taking AP Capstone classes, taking college courses during the summer that weren’t required, and interning before even graduating high school.

A second area for improvement would be avoiding statistics. As the student identifies their valedictorian status and the number of AP classes they have taken, they might turn away certain personalities on a review committee by appearing braggy. Even further, these statistics are a waste of space. The review committee already has access to this information. These words distract from the major theme of the essay and would have been better used to humanize the student.

Throughout my academic career, I have been an avid scholar, constantly pushing myself towards ambitious goals. I held and continue to hold myself to a high standard, enrolling myself in rigorous curriculum, including Honors and Advanced Placement courses to stretch my mental potential. During my junior year of high school, I took four AP tests, two on the same day, and earned the AP Scholar with Honor Award. Additionally, I received the Letter of Commendation for the PSAT/NMSQT, and qualified for Rotary Top 100 Students both my freshman and senior year, a sign of my commitment to my studies. However, school has not been all about having the best GPA for me; beyond the numbers, I have a deep drive to learn which motivates me to do well academically. I truly enjoy learning new things, whether it be a new essay style or a math theorem. I always give each class my best effort and try my hardest on every assignment. My teachers have noticed this as well, and I have received school Lancer Awards and Student of the Month recognitions as a result. It is a major goal of mine to continue to aspire towards a high level of achievement regarding future educational and occupational endeavors; I plan on continuing this level of dedication throughout my educational career and implementing the skills I have learned and will learn into my college experience and beyond.

This fall, I will begin attending the University of California Los Angeles as an English major. I chose this major because I am fascinated by written language, especially its ability to convey powerful messages and emotions. I also enjoy delving into the works of other authors to analyze specific components of their writing to discover the meaning behind their words. In particular, I cannot wait to begin in-depth literary criticism and learn new stylistic techniques to add more depth to my writing. Furthermore, I recently went to UCLA’s Bruin Day, an event for incoming freshmen, where I was exposed to many different extracurriculars, some of which really piqued my interest. I plan on joining the Writing Success Program, where I can help students receive free writing help, and Mock Trial, where I can debate issues with peers in front of a real judge. The latter, combined with a strong writing background from my undergraduate English studies will be extremely beneficial because I plan to apply to law school after my undergraduate degree. As of now, my career goal is to become a civil rights lawyer, to stand up for those who are discriminated against and protect minority groups to proliferate equality.

As a lawyer, I wish to utilize legislation to ameliorate the plight of the millions of Americans who feel prejudice and help them receive equity in the workplace, society, and so on. Though this seems a daunting task, I feel that my work ethic and past experience will give me the jumpstart I need to establish myself as a successful lawyer and give a voice to those who are often unheard in today’s legal system. I have been a Girl Scout for over a decade and continually participate in community service for the homeless, elderly, veterans, and more. My most recent project was the Gold Award, which I conducted in the Fullerton School District. I facilitated over ten workshops where junior high students taught elementary pupils STEM principles such as density and aerodynamics via creative activities like building aluminum boats and paper airplanes. I also work at Kumon, a tutoring center, where I teach students to advance their academic success. I love my job, and helping students from local schools reach their potential fills me with much pride.

Both being a Girl Scout and working at Kumon have inspired me to help those in need, contributing significantly to my desire to become a lawyer and aid others. My extracurriculars have allowed me to gain a new perspective on both learning and teaching, and have solidified my will to help the less fortunate. In college, I hope to continue to gain knowledge and further develop my leadership skills, amassing qualities that will help me assist others. I plan to join multiple community service clubs, such as UCLA’s local outreach programs that directly aid residents of Los Angeles. I want to help my fellow pupils as well, and plan on volunteering at peer tutoring and peer editing programs on campus. After college, during my career, I want to use legal tactics to assist the underdog and take a chance on those who are often overlooked for opportunities. I wish to represent those that are scared to seek out help or cannot afford it. Rather than battling conflict with additional conflict, I want to implement peaceful but strong, efficient tactics that will help make my state, country, and eventually the world more welcoming to people of all ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds. These goals are close to my heart and therefore I will be as diligent as I am passionate about them. My perseverance and love for learning and community service drive my ambition in both education and life as a whole, and the drive to make the world a better place is one that I will carry with me for my entire life.

This student emphasizes two values in this essay: hard work and community service. These are values that go together nicely, and definitely make sense with this student’s end goal of becoming a civil rights lawyer! That said, some changes could be made to the way the student presents their values that would make their personal statement more convincing and engaging.

Structurally, instead of using a past-future trajectory, this student starts by explaining their academic achievements, then explains their career goals, then explains their history of community service, then explains their future desires for community service. This structure loses the reader. Instead, the student should have started with either the past or the future. 

This could look like 1) identifying their career goals, 2) explaining that hard work and a commitment to community service are necessary to get there, and 3) explaining that they aren’t worried because of their past commitment to hard work and community service. Or it could look like 1) providing examples of their hard work and community service in the past, then 2) explaining how those values will help them achieve their career goals.

Additionally, like with our other example, this student shows a heavy investment in statistics and spouting off accomplishments. This can be unappealing. Unfortunately, even when the student recognizes that they are doing this, writing “beyond the numbers, I have a deep drive to learn which motivates me to do well academically. I truly enjoy learning new things, whether it be a new essay style or a math theorem,” they continue on to cite their achievements, writing “My teachers have noticed this as well, and I have received school Lancer Awards and Student of the Month recognitions as a result.” They say they are going beyond the numbers, but they don’t go beyond the awards. They don’t look inward. One way to fix this would be to make community service the theme around which the essay operates, supplementing with statistics in ways that advance the image of the student as dedicated to community service.

Finally, this student would be more successful if they varied their sentence structure. While a small-scale autobiography can be good, if organized, every sentence should not begin with ‘I.’ The essay still needs to be engaging or the review committee might stop reading.

Feedback is ultimately any writer’s best source of improvement! To get your personal statement edited for free, use our Peer Review Essay Tool . With this tool, other students can tell you if your scholarship essay is effective and help you improve your essay so that you can have the best chances of gaining those extra funds!

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

• OUR MISSION
• TESTIMONIALS
• MENTORS DIGITAL COMMUNITY
• LIVING A LAPTOP LIFESTYLE
• BUSINESS TOOLS

The Top 10 Personal Success Statements Of All Time

Home » Blog » PERSONAL GROWTH FOR SUCCESS » The Top 10 Personal Success Statements Of All Time

We had the privilege of listening into the Digital Lifestyle Blueprint webinar with Jay Kubassek this week.

What is the Digital Lifestyle Blueprint exactly? . . . In a nutshell, it provides the answers to ALL these searching questions:

• Where did I come from?
• Where am I going?
• How am I going to get there?
• Who's going to help me?
• What if I can't make it?
• How do I know if I'm on the right path?

Stop and contemplate those questions for a minute.

And consider the FACT, your current way of thinking has only got you to where you are today (ouch!).

We're not saying your current way of thinking is wrong – because – IT IS WHAT IT IS. It can't be changed, because it's history. You have to agree with that?

However . . .

To change your circumstances , and NOT ACCEPT the status quo any longer , it's fair to say you must CHANGE your thinking.

In order to have more time, more money, more freedom . . . . . . You need to change tack. You need a new strategy. You need to think differently!

Now we're not telling you this because we have all the answers for you – because we don't.

We're telling you this because, it's our first hand experience.

Back in 2009, when we were both laid off at the same time – we realised how stressed we were, how under-appreciated we were at work, how bored we were –  and that we couldn't go on living life like that.

Our A-ha! moment didn't happen in a moment. It wasn't an epiphany. It actually took about 3 months of realisation to work out there was a better way for us.

Our intention here is to plant the seed of hope for you . . .

To help you grow the realisation what you're doing right now is not entirely right for you , and your decision to change doesn't have to be made overnight, but it has to be carefully nurtured .

So to help you in that respect, to help fertilise your thought processes, we're sharing Jay's Top 10 Personal Logic Success Statements for you to peruse, ponder and percolate.

[1]  I THINK and ACT as if I am ALREADY SUCCESSFUL – It's too late to fail and I assume I'll succeed

We've talked about this already here

People think we’re “SUCCESSFUL” already . . . but, deep down inside, we’re not where we want to be . . . YET!

So we figured, if we ACT like we’re successful, sooner or later we’ll BE the success we want to be, and in the meantime, we’ll FEEL like we’re successful.

Seeing as these practices don’t cost anything, except discipline and time well spent, it’s pretty much a win-win, if you ask us.

[2]  I am limited by nothing more than the KNOWLEDGE I LACK, NOT by my circumstances or who I am . . . therefore I am committed to investing whatever it takes in myself.

This boils down to resourcefulness. Most people think they need to have ready resources, or ALL the necessary knowledge before they can make change happen, but that's not the case. They simply need to be resourceful. To have the open-mindedness to learn, to commit, and to perservere.

Think of your knowledge as a bank account. You can't make a withdrawal from an account that isn't funded, can you?

[3]  I will never outperform my self-esteem. (Whether it's love, money, health etc – we settle for exactly what we intrinsically believe we are worth/deserve)

We wrote about this in our book. With regards to income, how much you earn right now is what you think you're worth. Because you've settled for that. Because it’s a standard you’ve set for yourself. But, that’s also why you only earn what you do, because that’s your standard.

So if you want to quadruple your current income, you can’t do that with a standard that’s labelled with how much you currently earn. It won’t work. Your standard has to be raised. So you have to change your thinking, change your beliefs, and change your self-worth label.

[4]  READY, AIM, FIRE – I am strategic – I always start with the end in mind. People don't plan to fail, they fail to plan.

Most people think this is the boring bit, so they skip over it, with the notional thought they'll come back and doing it properly (we're speaking from experience here – guilty!). In fact, this is the pivotal bit – it's the part where you prove to yourself you're taking your business seriously. Not treating it like a hobby, or dabbling, or trying!

Successful businesses and successful entrepreneurs have business plans. They have a strategy. And they have goals.

[5]  I know that busy-ness is often a form of laziness. I am proactive and productive.

We live in a fast-paced world. We demand fast results. And we all only have 24 hours in the day. Each moment of precious time (you can't get it back once it's wasted, right?) must be handled with care.

EVERYBODY says they're busy – but most are tricking themselves about being productively busy. Don't fool yourself. Work smart. Busy yourself with money producing tasks.

[6]  Birds of a feather flock together. Therefore I choose my friends and influences carefully.

Surround yourself by people who will stretch you, inspire you, and earn more than you – rather than those who equal you, demoralise you, and earn the same as you.

[7]  I am willing to question everything I know. I know that I don't know what I don't know.

Don't accept the status quo. Just because something has been done a certain way for years or for decades, doesn't mean it's right today in the 21st Century.

Also, be happy to build knowledge and invest in yourself at your own pace. Our coaching experience has taught us that some people grasp issues and principles quicker than others – so it's vitally important not to compare your progress with anyone else – only compare yourself to the version of you one month or one year ago.

[8]  I understand that remuneration (the money I earn) is compensation for service rendered. Therefore, I seek to get paid for the value (products, services etc) I deliver.

You earn from the value you deliver. The more value you deliver to help a person solve a problem, and the more people you help, the more you earn.

A big blocker most people face is they don't give themselves credit for how much they know. And because they know how to do something they assume everyone else knows it too. Which is completely wrong!

Learn how to package your knowledge in a way to best help others, albeit by way of an affiliate product, then you'll earn what you're worth.

[9]  The outcome is more important than the process. If there is a way, I will find it. I am resourceful and creative.

The process will involve making mistakes and failing your way forward. Note: the word ‘failure' is only used by employees. Entrepreneurs test out mistakes in order to learn. However, if an entrepreneur makes the same mistake a third time – that's dumb.

The important focus is the result, and not the steps taken to get there.

[10]  I know that I get more of whatever I focus on . . . I know my strengths and my weaknesses. Therefore, instead of focusing on my weaknesses, I focus on my strengths.

As Tony Robbins always says: “Where focus goes, energy flows”. Given that growing any business is a roller coaster ride, it's essential to focus on the positive aspects i.e.: your strengths.

Nobody is great at everything. It pays to outsource the dreary, repetitive stuff, and the stuff you don’t like doing, and the stuff you’re no good at doing. That’s why we work together, because our strengths and weaknesses are complimentary.

So, what's YOUR NEXT STEP?

We hope you enjoyed this post and learned something from it.

What we’re out to achieve here is the questions to you need to be asking yourself and the statements you need to be making to yourself so you can make that Digital Lifestyle a reality and change your lifes for ever.

So we encourage you to think about that and think about the effort required to build an online business in the perspective of grinding away at a job earning money to line other people's pockets!!

Decide to educate yourself on leveraging the internet so can take control of your own live/time/freedom.

As Mahatma Gandhi said:

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

Learning about working online, being an affiliate marketer and running an online business is a life long skill.

We learned all we know from Six Figure Mentors – and we love the authenticity and integrity of their training and education.

What's more, we love their business system as it removes the hurdles from the steeplechase – so you don't need to be a techie.

So if you're serious about building a profitable online business, now is the best time to start. Get educated and start living and earning as you're meant to.

Still Not Convinced?

If this all seems a bit foreign or you still have some reservations whether you're up for it, our Millionaire Mentor Stuart Ross has arranged a private invitation-only Webcast to help you out.

JOIN STUART FOR A SPECIAL WEBCAST, SPECIFICALLY FOR INDIVIDUALS WHO ARE:

• Interested in learning how to become profitable online starting from scratch… • Ready to earn money doing something that they are extremely passionate about… • Unsure of how to get started, but open minded to learning about new concepts…

Chat To Us:   Find A Time When You're Free

Connect with us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram 

If you like this post, SHARE IT using the buttons on the left.

Discover Practical Methods To Earn A Living Online And Enjoy A Laptop Lifestyle

Free On Demand Training Workshops

How To Take Charge Of Your Bucket List

You've seen the 2007 movie . . . Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman’s characters meet in a cancer ward...

What The World Can Teach Us About Never Giving Up

We were a bit upset this week when we spoke a fellow Six Figure Mentor member, Mary, who's a...

Opportunity is all Around You

We’re avidly in favour of grabbing opportunities as they arise – a perfect example being when we saw something...

Your 4 Key Steps to Online Success

Have you heard stories of other people struggle to make money online? You see heaps of other people bragging...

How To Have Free Accommodation Anywhere In The World

Are you interested to learn the winning home swap strategy we use to travel the world and stay months...

How A Productivity Planner Can Keep You From Failing Miserably

You’ve got BIG DREAMS, and are embarking on a journey to make those dreams come true. But even when...

2 Special Reasons Why We Think Honesty Is The Best Policy

Ugh, it’s happened again. Another hypey, audaciously brazen, trumped up headline! You’ve seen them. They offer boundless riches. Imply...

What Manjhi Can Teach You About Commitment

You’re working long and hard to get what you deserve in life and give your family every little comfort...

Facebook Comments:

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Free On Demand Training

Which Do You Want To Rock Today?

• LEARN Online Skills
• GROW For Success
• EARN Income Online

Have You Got Your Copy Yet?

Recent Posts

• 3 Money Matters You’ll Need To Overcome To Have Success Online
• Top 10 Influential Books To Transform Your Life, Business, and Happiness
• How To Smash Your Fears In The Face And Be Successful Online
• The Most Fundamental Principle To Crush Your Online Business
• How To Turn The Tables On Being Poor

Connect With Greg & Fiona

Contact greg & fiona.

Contact Us 56 Leman Street, London United Kingdom E1 8EU

©2024 Greg and Fiona Scott

We're not around right now. But you can send us an email and we'll get back to you, asap.

Log in with your credentials

Forgot your details.

Enter Your Name And Email To Get The Free Training Sent Straight To Your Inbox

We ask for your name and email address so we can email you our digital lifestyle video series, and share awesome daily educational, transformational, and promotional emails, to give you the tools, techniques, and training to live your digital lifestyle. We value your privacy and would never spam you. ENJOY the content!