Mr. Howells introduced Mr. Clemens.
"Now, ladies and gentlemen, and Colonel Harvey, I will try not to be greedy on your behalf in wishing the health of our honored and, in view of his great age, our revered guest. I will not say, 'Oh King, live forever!' but 'Oh King, live as long as you like!'"
[ ]
W , if I made that joke, it is the best one I ever made, and it is in the prettiest language, too. I never can get quite to that height. But I appreciate that joke, and I shall remember it -- and I shall use it when occasion requires. I have had a great many birthdays in my time. I remember the first one very well, and I always think of it with indignation; everything was so crude, unaesthetic, primeval. Nothing like this at all. No proper appreciative preparation made; nothing really ready. Now, for a person born with high and delicate instincts -- why, even the cradle wasn't whitewashed -- nothing ready at all. I hadn't any hair, I hadn't any teeth, I hadn't any clothes, I had to go to my first banquet just like that. Well, everybody came swarming in. It was the merest little bit of a village -- hardly that, just a little hamlet, in the backwoods of Missouri, where nothing ever happened, and the people were all interested, and they all came; they looked me over to see if there was anything fresh in my line. Why, nothing ever happened in that village -- I -- why, I was the only thing that had really happened there for months and months and months; and although I say it myself that shouldn't, I came the nearest to being a real event that had happened in that village in more than two years. Well, those people came, they came with that curiosity which is so provincial, with that frankness which also is so provincial, and they examined me all around and gave their opinion. Nobody asked them, and I shouldn't have minded if anybody had paid me a compliment, but nobody did. Their opinions were all just green with prejudice, and I feel those opinions to this day. Well, I stood that as long as -- well, you know I was born courteous, and I stood it to the limit. I stood it an hour, and then the worm turned. I was the worm; it was my turn to turn, and I turned. I knew very well the strength of my position; I knew that I was the only spotlessly pure and innocent person in that whole town, and I came out and said so. And they could not say a word. It was so true. They blushed; they were embarrassed. Well, that was the first after-dinner speech I ever made. I think it was after dinner. It's a long stretch between that first birthday speech and this one. That was my cradle-song, and this is my swan-song, I suppose. I am used to swan-songs; I have sung them several times. This is my seventieth birthday, and I wonder if you all rise to the size of that proposition, realizing all the significance of that phrase, seventieth birthday. The seventieth birthday! It is the time of life when you arrive at a new and awful dignity; when you may throw aside the decent reserves which have oppressed you for a generation and stand unafraid and unabashed upon your seven-terraced summit and look down and teach -- unrebuked. You can tell the world how you got there. It is what they all do. You shall never get tired of telling by what delicate arts and deep moralities you climbed up to that great place. You will explain the process and dwell on the particulars with senile rapture. I have been anxious to explain my own system this long time, and now at last I have the right. I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else. It sounds like an exaggeration, but that is really the common rule for attaining to old age. When we examine the programme of any of these garrulous old people we always find that the habits which have preserved them would have decayed us; that the way of life which enabled them to live upon the property of their heirs so long, as Mr. Choate says, would have put us out of commission ahead of time. I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road. I will now teach, offering my way of life to whomsoever desires to commit suicide by the scheme which has enabled me to beat the doctor and the hangman for seventy years. Some of the details may sound untrue, but they are not. I am not here to deceive; I am here to teach. We have no permanent habits until we are forty. Then they begin to harden, presently they petrify, then business begins. Since forty I have been regular about going to bed and getting up -- and that is one of the main things. I have made it a rule to go to bed when there wasn't anybody left to sit up with; and I have made it a rule to get up when I had to. This has resulted in an unswerving regularity of irregularity. It has saved me sound, but it would injure another person. In the matter of diet -- which is another main thing -- I have been persistently strict in sticking to the things which didn't agree with me until one or the other of us got the best of it. Until lately I got the best of it myself. But last spring I stopped frolicking with mince-pie after midnight; up to then I had always believed it wasn't loaded. For thirty years I have taken coffee and bread at eight in the morning, and no bite nor sup until seven-thirty in the evening. Eleven hours. That is all right for me, and is wholesome, because I have never had a headache in my life, but headachy people would not reach seventy comfortably by that road, and they would be foolish to try it. And I wish to urge upon you this -- which I think is wisdom -- that if you find you can't make seventy by any but an uncomfortable road, don't you go. When they take off the Pullman and retire you to the rancid smoker, put on your things, count your checks, and get out at the first way station where there's a cemetery. I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. I have no other restriction as regards smoking. I do not know just when I began to smoke, I only know that it was in my father's lifetime, and that I was discreet. He passed from this life early in 1847, when I was a shade past eleven; ever since then I have smoked publicly. As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake. It is a good rule. I mean, for me; but some of you know quite well that it wouldn't answer for everybody that's trying to get to be seventy. I smoke in bed until I have to go to sleep; I wake up in the night, sometimes once, sometimes twice, sometimes three times, and I never waste any of these opportunities to smoke. This habit is so old and dear and precious to me that I would feel as you, sir, would feel if you should lose the only moral you've got -- meaning the chairman -- if you've got one: I am making no charges. I will grant, here, that I have stopped smoking now and then, for a few months at a time, but it was not on principle, it was only to show off; it was to pulverize those critics who said I was a slave to my habits and couldn't break my bonds. To-day it is all of sixty years since I began to smoke the limit. I have never bought cigars with life-belts around them. I early found that those were too expensive for me. I have always bought cheap cigars -- reasonably cheap, at any rate. Sixty years ago they cost me four dollars a barrel, but my taste has improved, latterly, and I pay seven now. Six or seven. Seven, I think. Yes, it's seven. But that includes the barrel. I often have smoking-parties at my house; but the people that come have always just taken the pledge. I wonder why that is? As for drinking, I have no rule about that. When the others drink I like to help, otherwise I remain dry, by habit and preference. This dryness does not hurt me, but it could easily hurt you, because you are different. You let it alone. Since I was seven years old I have seldom taken a dose of medicine, and have still seldomer needed one. But up to seven I lived exclusively on allopathic medicines. Not that I needed them, for I don't think I did; it was for economy; my father took a drug-store for a debt, and it made cod-liver oil cheaper than the other breakfast foods. We had nine barrels of it, and it lasted me seven years. Then I was weaned. The rest of the family had to get along with rhubarb and ipecac and such things, because I was the pet. I was the first Standard Oil Trust. I had it all. By the time the drug-store was exhausted my health was established, and there has never been much the matter with me since. But you know very well it would be foolish for the average child to start for seventy on that basis. It happened to be just the thing for me, but that was merely an accident; it couldn't happen again in a century. I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. Exercise is loathsome. And it cannot be any benefit when you are tired; and I was always tired. But let another person try my way, and see where he will come out. I desire now to repeat and emphasize that maxim: We can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life, but they would assassinate you. I have lived a severely moral life. But it would be a mistake for other people to try that, or for me to recommend it. Very few would succeed: you have to have a perfectly colossal stock of morals; and you can't get them on a margin; you have to have the whole thing, and put them in your box. Morals are an acquirement -- like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis -- no man is born with them. I wasn't myself, I started poor. I hadn't a single moral. There is hardly a man in this house that is poorer than I was then. Yes, I started like that -- the world before me, not a moral in the slot. Not even an insurance moral. I can remember the first one I ever got. I can remember the landscape, the weather, the -- I can remember how everything looked. It was an old moral, an old second-hand moral, all out of repair, and didn't fit, anyway. But if you are careful with a thing like that, and keep it in a dry place, and save it for processions, and Chautauquas, and World's Fairs, and so on, and disinfect it now and then, and give it a fresh coat of whitewash once in a while, you will be surprised to see how well she will last and how long she will keep sweet, or at least inoffensive. When I got that mouldy old moral, she had stopped growing,because she hadn't any exercise; but I worked her hard, I worked her Sundays and all. Under this cultivation she waxed in might and stature beyond belief, and served me well and was my pride and joy for sixty-three years; then she got to associating with insurance presidents, and lost flesh and character, and was a sorrow to look at and no longer competent for business. She was a great loss to me. Yet not all loss. I sold her -- ah, pathetic skeleton, as she was -- I sold her to Leopold, the pirate King of Belgium; he sold her to our Metropolitan Museum, and it was very glad to get her, for without a rag on, she stands 57 feet long and 16 feet high, and they think she's a brontosaur. Well, she looks it. They believe it will take nineteen geological periods to breed her match. Morals are of inestimable value, for every man is born crammed with sin microbes, and the only thing that can extirpate these sin microbes is morals. Now you take a sterilized Christian -- I mean, you take the sterilized Christian, for there's only one. Dear sir, I wish you wouldn't look at me like that. Threescore years and ten! It is the Scriptural statute of limitations. After that, you owe no active duties; for you the strenuous life is over. You are a time-expired man, to use Kipling's military phrase: You have served your term, well or less well, and you are mustered out. You are become an honorary member of the republic, you are emancipated, compulsions are not for you, nor any bugle-call but "lights out." You pay the time-worn duty bills if you choose, or decline if you prefer -- and without prejudice -- for they are not legally collectable. The previous-engagement plea, which in forty years has cost you so many twinges, you can lay aside forever, on this side of the grave you will never need it again. If you shrink at thought of night, and winter, and the late home-coming from the banquet and the lights and the laughter through the deserted streets -- a desolation which would not remind you now, as for a generation it did, that your friends are sleeping, and you must creep in a-tiptoe and not disturb them, but would only remind you that you need not tiptoe, you can never disturb them more -- if you shrink at thought of these things, you need only reply, "Your invitation honors me, and pleases me because you still keep me in your remembrance, but I am seventy; seventy, and would nestle in the chimney-corner, and smoke my pipe, and read my book, and take my rest, wishing you well in all affection, and that when you in your return shall arrive at pier No. 70 you may step aboard your waiting ship with a reconciled spirit, and lay your course toward the sinking sun with a contented heart. Mark Twain's Speeches ] |
Middle age birthday toasts.
Humorous birthday toasts and quotes give us a chance to laugh at the trials and tribulations of maturity. After all, advancing birthdays are much better than the alternative.
If there's a significant birthday in your future -- a number that ends with a zero or a five -- celebrate with guests by offering a funny birthday toast to yourself. After all, people love speakers who don't take themselves so seriously. And if you're less than thrilled about getting another year older, remember what the late great comedian George Burns once quipped:
There's an old saying, "Life begins at 40." That's ridiculous. Life begins every morning when you wake up.
There are hundreds of humorous birthday toasts and quotes you can adapt. . You've no doubt heard some of these funny birthday sayings:
Lordy Lordy -- Look who's 40 Isn't it nifty--Fred has turned 50.
We could certainly slow down the aging process if it had to work its way through Congress. -- Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. -- Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at 60 . . . but everything else begins to wear out, fall out or spread out. -- Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. -- Billy Crystal
The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out!
To 60 years and Social Security Guess it's time to show some maturity.
70 years and he's going strong He's still a hunk. . .perhaps not for long.
Today 50 is the new 35 and 80 is the new 60. Here's to one who does not look or act their age!
Happy birthday! Isn't it great to reach the stage of maturity when someone says, "You look good" and then adds "for your age."
Optimists drink from a glass half full; pessimists from a glass half empty. But since it's your birthday, drink as many glasses as you want.
Now you're at an age where you don't take yourself so seriously. So laugh at yourself . . . your kids do it all the time.
Another year older and wiser and bolder. Now let us give thanks for those blessings we shoulder.
It's a scientific fact that people who have more birthdays live longer.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age.
Remember when you were 8 and couldn't wait to become a teenager? Then you wanted to be five years older and reach 18. . . the next goal was 21 and you had the world at your fingertips. But what happened at 30? Okay . . . you still looked 22. Then at 40, not so much. And there's no need to go further. Funny how our desire to age is inversely proportional to the years since our birth.
If your birthday party guests have a good sense of humor, you might want to pull out these adaptations below of popular birthday sayings and stories or check out this collection of baby boomer humor:
You're over the hill when your back goes out more than you do. --Anonymous
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. -- Jack Benny
You know you're getting old when you bend down to tie your shoelaces and then think about what else you might do while you're down there. --George Burns
The generation gap is one war in which everybody eventually changes sides. -- Cyril Connolly
Dr. Seuss on the golden age (slightly modified from a bawdier version) The golden years have come at last, Why don't I feel this is a blast?
I cannot see, I cannot pee. I cannot chew. What can I do?
My memory shrinks. My hearing stinks. No sense of smell... I look like hell.
My body's drooping, got trouble pooping. And people ask, "Why am I stooping?"
The golden years have come at last. The golden years can kiss my ass.
Senior life on the highway
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful."
"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
Your duck is dead.
Anyone who has had any tests at the doctor's office will probably enjoy this story . . .
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$250!" she cried, "$250 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $25, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $250."
What's special about middle age birthday toasts? When someone reaches middle age, toasts can cover a wide range of topics. If you are celebrating someone in their 40s or 50s,here are some ideas of how to toast the occasion or what to write on a card.
If a friend or family member is turning another year older, here are some ideas for birthday toasts and speeches that will help you make their celebration special.
When someone has lived nine decades, they deserve a special celebration. Here are some ideas and tips to make the 90th birthday celebration memorable.
Birthday toasts & speeches
Toasts and sayings celebrating wisdom
Toasts for the glorious middle ages
Humorous birthday toasts
Retirement toasts
Helping you shine when the spotlight is on you.
70th Birthday Speeches come laden with extra congratulations. What a marvelous event this 70th celebration is, filled with a real sense of the joy of life. Anyone who reaches 70 is going to be touched by the sentiments you deliver in your speech. Your eloquent words will reach the heart of the celebrant and all those gathered. Your 70th birthday speech can really bring something to everyone in the room.
The words you choose today will be poignant and charming. You can add as much or as little as you wish to our speeches, leaving you free to relax and enjoy the experience.
S.K., from Warren (USA) said, "Thank you for helping me with my husband's birthday. I was very satisfied with the speeches I got."
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Eric M. Schumacher
Author. Podcaster. Songwriter.
Happy 70th Birthday!
Years ago, you made me take all my boxes of stuff from the attic. So, I’ve assumed you’re trying to declutter and don’t want more stuff. So, instead of a birthday present, I thought I’d write you a letter.
When I think through my childhood memories of you, the memories are good and are more than I can recount here. There is so much I admire and appreciate about you. Your words and example taught shaped who I am and want to be. So, I thought I’d recount a few of the things you taught me.
You shared the Good News with me through bedtime stories, songs, and books you gave me, and by sharing about other Christians’ lives. You set an example through your service at church—especially as you served alongside Judy, Marilynn, and others to share Christ’s love in Sunday School. I remember you and Judy making banners (that still hang in the church) and telling me about their biblical significance.
Your words and your example taught me that that I had a God who was worthy of worship, a Savior who loved me, gave himself for me, and was always there for me.
I was in first grade when I discovered (while reading the graffiti in a Hardee’s bathroom) how to spell the “F-word.” I thought it would be impressive to use it as a word playing Hangman with a friend.
I hid the paper in my bookbag so as not to get in trouble with the teacher. I failed to remember that I have a nosy mother. Upon finding it, you sat me down on the porch and had me think about what my language says about those I represent.
I was very young when I told you to “Shut up!” in front of a friend. I don’t remember how you transported me from the living room to the bathroom, but I do remember the taste of the soap.
As a teenager, I thought it would be cool to have posters of swimsuit models in my room. I asked you if I could get one. You asked me, “If Jesus returned and found that hanging in your room, would you be ashamed or proud of it?” I didn’t get the poster.
I still ask myself if I want to be thinking, speaking, or acting in a certain way in front of my Lord.
I heard this saying from you more times than I can count. Having two younger brothers who were always doing bad things and mistreating me, I had plenty of provocation for revenge.
My calloused backside and several broken spanking implements bear witness to the fact that it took me a while to learn what that statement meant.
But I find myself saying it often now, especially in a world that thinks that another’s evil justifies our evil.
Another saying that is burned into my memory. Oddly, I can’t recall the situation in which you said this to me. So, I can only assume I overheard you saying it to my brothers on one of the many occasions they disobeyed.
It’s never too late to do the right thing.
There are more times than I care to remember that you “encouraged” me to apologize to someone I wronged or disrespected. Even though I’ve blocked those memories, I am glad you taught me to apologize and make things right.
Your example taught me that no matter how much time has passed, it’s never too late to try to make things right.
I said, “No.” So you asked if I knew who did.
I told you that Andy drew it. In most cases, given my younger siblings’ incredible insubordination, this would have been a reasonable suggestion. But since I was the only one who could draw a star (and had recently been on a star-drawing kick), you saw through it, and I learned (again) that two wrongs don’t make a right.
You showed me that we should always tell the truth, even when it means we’ll get into trouble. It’s easier to carry the consequences of our lies than it is to carry the guilt. And, repentance and honesty are so often met with mercy and forgiveness.
Like the time at A&W when a booth full of construction workers were loudly using profanity, you said (loudly enough for everyone in the restaurant to stop, look, and hear), “EXCUSE ME! IF YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED, WE HAVE A TABLE FULL OF CHILDREN. DO YOU THINK YOU COULD MIND YOUR LANGUAGE?” They apologized and stopped. (I crawled back up from under the table, and today I’m seeing a wonderful therapist.)
On a serious note: looking back, I appreciate how you were a “mama bear” that stuck up for your family. Like the time we were for a drive to look at Christmas lights. A drunk driver ran the intersection, causing Dad to slam on the breaks.
From the passenger seat, you leaned across Dad and were just about out the window, telling that man to look at the children he could have killed. I think that talkin’-to sobered him on the spot.
Those occasions (and others!) assured me that my mom would stop at nothing to protect me, provide for me, and support me. And that’s what you’ve always done. Even when it might have embarrassed me, you were never ashamed to love me, defend me, and support me.
I’m thankful that you taught me this. (I’m also grateful that when I get into trouble for opening my mouth, I can blame my Texan grandma with the fiery red hair.)
Visiting my great-aunt is just one of many examples I could pick. You’ve spent your time visiting those who are alone, serving those who can’t care for themselves, and sticking up for the underdog.
You taught me that every human being is created in God’s image and should be treated with dignity and respect. Their stories matter and should be remembered. Even when they lose the ability to control their bodies, minds, and words, their value has not diminished.
(Aren’t you glad that I worked “dilly-dally” into this letter?)
I remember you working outdoors, hands in the dirt, muscles flexed and soaked with sweat. I never outworked you in the yard, and I doubt I could today.
I remember challenging you to a footrace at the campground, boasting that “You can’t beat me because boys are better than girls.” I learned my lesson.
You’ve always loved to work and to work hard. I still haven’t caught you, but I often find myself thinking of you and saying to myself, “If you’re going to do this, do it the best you can.”
Your life, from the time you were little, hasn’t been easy. But you have always modeled perseverance.
You haven’t been afraid to cry. You haven’t shied from sharing about what hurts. But pain or hardship has never stopped you.
That’s the best kind of mom a boy could have: one who acknowledges that the world hurts, who owns her imperfections and failures, who trusts in Jesus and relies on his grace and keeps pressing forward in what her Lord has called her to. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Decades later, I’m still not perfect in the things you taught me. (But, as the song says, “ Mama tried .”) And there are a lot of other lessons that you taught me as a boy, such as:
Don’t poop your pants.
Don’t wipe your boogers on things.
Don’t put things in the electrical outlets.
Don’t eat hard-boiled Easter eggs that someone hid in the sandbox, and you dug-up in June.
Don’t keep an Andes mint in your pocket “for later,” especially in Texas—and if you do, don’t decide to take it out, unwrap it, and attempt to eat it while your parents are trying to rush the family from one terminal to another in an airport.
Don’t pee in a cup and offer it to your brother to drink on a hot day.
Don’t push your brother off the porch face-first into a brick.
Don’t dump a pile of pigeon dung* on the babysitter’s head.
Don’t slam a plastic bottle of barbecue sauce against the edge of the counter because you thought “shatterproof” meant “unbreakable.”
I could say more about all those stories, but I don’t think people would be interested in those stories.
Any good quality in me is due in part to your influence and example. (Any bad quality in me is due to my younger brothers.)
Thanks for being a great mom and a wonderful grandmother.
I love you very much.
*Aren’t you proud I said “dung?” I still taste soap, just thinking of the other word.
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How To Write A Witty & Heartfelt 70th Birthday Speech. Brainstorm - go back over old memories for all the content you'll ever need. Connect your stories with a theme - find a common motif to link anecdotes together. Don't go on and on - you never need more than 8 minutes. Back up your claims - don't just say your loved one is ...
Birthday Speech Writing: Tips for an Unforgettable Speech
A: To make a 70th birthday speech memorable, incorporate personal stories and anecdotes that highlight the person's character and achievements. Use humor to engage the audience and create an enjoyable atmosphere. Express your genuine admiration and gratitude for the person's presence in your life.
8 things to consider before writing birthday speeches. 1. Decide to write a formal or informal speech. You'll need a formal speech (an average-length speech) for a formal reception ... when it's for a major milestone birthday (40th, 50th, 60th, 70th, 80th, 90th or 100th birthday). Generally, use the KISS (Keep it Short and Simple) rule. The ...
This could include an overview of their life, major achievements and milestones, and best wishes for the future. Everybody loves funny birthday speeches, so it's always a good idea to include some humour. The best way to do this is to tell funny stories about the person. If it's a birthday speech for a best friend, it could include funny ...
Speech 1. [Facing the guests] Friends, loved ones and family members of [Friend's Name], thank you for making out time to be here today to celebrate this special day of the life of my best friend in the whole wide world. [Facing your friend] [Name of your Friend], in my eyes, your friendship is like fine wine.
Use one or all of the free birthday speech samples on this page as a template to write truly great birthday speeches on your own. Each one will certainly inspire you to come up with the right words for milestone birthday speeches. ... This video of Mark Twain's famous 70th birthday speech (read by John Greenman) is one of the best birthday ...
Birthday speech example 2 - Thank you speech. I want to take a moment to say thank you for everyone who has come down to come celebrate this birthday with me. It means a lot that you have all taken the time and I must say that I am blessed to have each and every one of you in my life. Thank you.
When it comes to birthday celebrations, speeches often serve as the emotional highpoint, providing a heartwarming moment that leaves a deep, indelible impression on attendees. Crafting a memorable birthday speech is as much an art as it is a science. This blog post will provide you with valuable tips and inspiring examples to help you pen a speech that will resonate with everyone in the room ...
Roast. If the birthday person is a good sport and you have a sense of humor, a roast-style speech may be a perfect fit for the party. Not to mention it will get a few laughs from the guests and the birthday person. Using her age is a good starting off point for a roast. To add personal touches, you can talk about things such as why she is a ...
Use these suggestions to tailor your talk. 1. Gather your background information. Before you write the speech get the background information you need. This will determine what you'll put in, and the tone of the language you'll use. It will also help you make sure that your speech is a success!
Birthday Speech Topics For The Celebrant and Guests. Birthday speech template including 8 samples for the celebrant and 18 for a guest at the anniversary party. The tone is personal, congratulatory, lighthearted and sincere. So, come up with nice entertaining birthday thoughts, funny remarks and tell humorous stories or even jokes.
Birthday Speech or Toast for Your Mom from Son or Daughter
1 April 2017, South Yarra, Melbourne, Australia. Rosie [sister] suggested I give a speech today; the challenge of course with a 70th birthday is to avoid it sounding like a eulogy, but it is my privilege and honour to be able to say a few words about Mum and Dad on behalf of the three of us. Dad is the embodiment of the word 'uxorious'.
Say he/she has always been a great friend, a marvellous listener or the soul of hospitality. Say what he or she means to you as a family member, friend or neighbour. Add a bit of humor to the birthday speech. E.G. If everyone knows the birthday boy or girl cannot sing in tune announce that as a special treat you have organised a recording ...
Your 70th birthday speech can really bring something to everyone in the room.The words you choose today will be poignant and charming. You can add as much or as little as you wish to our speeches, leaving you free to relax and enjoy the experience.S.K., from Warren (USA) said, "Thank you for helping me with my husband's birthday. I was very ...
70th Birthday Sayings and Wishes: Memorable Phrases ...
Seventieth Birthday Speech
Humorous Birthday Toasts and quotes
Ladies and gentlemen or family and friends please join me in a toast to John. May he always be a winner. John! Here's to the sportsman amongst us. Whose birthday it is today. Someone who is very special. Someone who joins in the fray. Who plays as hard as a good player ought.
70th Birthday speeches. 70th Birthday Speeches come laden with extra congratulations. What a marvelous event this 70th celebration is, filled with a real sense of the joy of life. Anyone who reaches 70 is going to be touched by the sentiments you deliver in your speech. Your eloquent words will reach the heart of the celebrant and all those ...
Dear Mom, Happy 70th Birthday! Years ago, you made me take all my boxes of stuff from the attic. So, I've assumed you're trying to declutter and don't want more stuff. So, instead of a birthday present, I thought I'd write you a letter. When I think through my childhood memories of you, the memories are good and are more than I can ...
My 70th Birthday Speech. My Seventieth Birthday Speech "The seventieth birthday! It is the time of life when you arrive at a new and awful dignity; when you throw aside the decent reserves which have oppressed you for a generation and have stand unafraid and unabashed upon your seven-terraced summit and look down and teach-unrebuked. You can ...
Father of the Bride Speech: Free Template, How to Write, ...