do you believe in love at first sight essay

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Essay on love at first sight

Is it true that love happens at first sight? Many people do not believe in love at first sight. On the other hand, some individual feels that they fell in love the moment they had a chance to look deep into each other’s eyes. That first sight, that first moment, that first silent exchange of feelings through the eyes changed their entire life.

Perhaps it is possible to fall in love across a crowded room as the old song says. However, again, it is the eyes that hold the primary attraction. This has been shown over the ages. Romeo and Juliet also gazed into each other’s eyes while making their plans. There are many such cases, real and imagined, which are written about. Studies of the eyes when they see someone they either feel very fond of or are in love with show that the pupils widen significantly.

There have been many studies on the topic of love at first sight. According to a recent study done by University of Chicago, it can be easily determined if it is love or lust just, by the way, the people stare and their angle of stare. With the help of eye tracking, we can know if the two people are digging for love or bodies easily. Unromantic people would call it only a lust while those who believe in romance probably fantasize about this phenomenon.

They say eyes are a window into the soul. So when two people gaze at each other for the first time, what are the chances that an instant connection is established? One that does not require the crutches of words or expressions. Silence turns into a language and words become unnecessary. Is it possible today? The questions beg attention because this modern age and era are ruled by the cynic mind- one that is suspicious, questions ulterior motives, looks for doubts and secrets in the eyes. Can love at first sight still spark interest between two individuals? That depends on how a person sees the world or how willing he or she is to set themselves up for heartbreak. Love at first sight is like jumping off a cliff- not knowing whether the person will ever surface again or be pulled under for the rest of their lives. This risk, the rush of adrenaline and the forbiddenness of Love at First Sight is what makes it all the more appealing for a romantic.

Some may call it a rubbish and claim love can only be gained through getting to know each other. In order to be for someone in love you got to know all about their interests, morals and characters. On the other side, men and women love to share their stories how they met someone somewhere, and all it took was one moment, one stare, and they fell in love.

The debate is same as which come first, egg or the hen. It shall go on probably forever. Love at first sight or lust, no matter which way you look at this, it is still interesting to read stories and watch movies made on this topic.

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Essay on Do You Believe In Love At First Sight

Students are often asked to write an essay on Do You Believe In Love At First Sight in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Do You Believe In Love At First Sight

What is love at first sight.

Love at first sight means you feel a strong liking for someone just by seeing them for the first time. It’s like in movies, where two people look at each other and suddenly feel they are meant to be together.

Is It Real?

Some people say love at first sight is real because they felt it. They meet someone and instantly feel a special connection. They can’t explain it, but they just know they like the person a lot.

I think love at first sight might not be true love. Real love grows over time as you get to know someone. What happens at first sight might be just a strong attraction, not deep love.

250 Words Essay on Do You Believe In Love At First Sight

Love at first sight is a feeling where a person thinks they are in love with someone the moment they see them for the first time. It’s like a strong attraction that makes your heart beat fast and gives you the idea that you have found your perfect partner instantly.

Is It Real Love?

Can it last.

Others think love at first sight might not be real love because it happens so quickly. They believe love grows over time as you get to know the other person. They say true love is about understanding and caring for each other, not just a sudden, strong feeling.

I believe love at first sight can be a beginning. It might not be deep love yet, but it can turn into true love as two people learn more about each other. It’s like planting a seed that can grow into a beautiful flower if you take good care of it.

In conclusion, love at first sight is a sweet idea, and it might be the start of a love story for some. But for love to last, it needs time and effort from both people. Whether love at first sight is real or not, the most important thing is how much two people are willing to make their love strong and keep it going.

500 Words Essay on Do You Believe In Love At First Sight

Love at first sight is a feeling some people talk about when they see someone for the first time and right away think they are in love. It’s like in movies or books where two people look at each other and their hearts beat fast, and they believe they have found their special someone without even talking to them.

Is Love at First Sight Real?

Some people say love at first sight is real for them. They might see someone and feel a strong connection that they can’t explain. This feeling can be so powerful that they are sure it’s love right from the start. But can you really love someone you just met? Love is a big word, and it usually means knowing someone well, caring about them, and wanting to be with them through good and bad times.

What Science Says

Difference between love and attraction.

It’s important to know that feeling excited when you see someone doesn’t always mean it’s love. It could be attraction, which is when you think someone looks good or has a nice smile, and you want to get to know them more. Attraction can happen fast, but love usually takes more time because you need to learn about the other person’s personality, likes, and dislikes.

Love Takes Time to Grow

Real love is about more than just feeling excited when you see someone. It’s about getting to know them, being friends, and caring about them. Love grows as you share experiences, talk about your feelings, and support each other. This is why many people think love at first sight is not real love because it’s too quick.

Stories and Experiences

Whether you believe in love at first sight or not is up to you. It’s a personal feeling, and everyone experiences love differently. What’s important is to understand that love is a strong bond that grows over time between people who care for each other deeply. So, even if love at first sight doesn’t seem real to everyone, it’s okay to believe in it as long as you remember that true love takes time and getting to know someone well.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

Happy studying!

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Can Love at First Sight Happen?

Are those intense early feelings true love?

Wendy Rose Gould is a lifestyle reporter with over a decade of experience covering health and wellness topics.

Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and a professor at Yeshiva University’s clinical psychology doctoral program.

Petri Oeschger/Moment/Getty

Love at first sight is the phenomenon of having intense feelings for someone the second you meet them .  Rather than slowly falling in love over time, you feel like you love the person from your very first encounter. Some describe this feeling as an instant connection, a deep attraction , a sensation of “butterflies in their stomach,” or a belief that they’ve met the person that they’re destined to be with forever. 

Many people believe love at first sight is possible, but are these intense first feelings real? And what does it mean if you don’t experience this intense rush of feelings from the get-go?

Is Love at First Sight Real?

The answer to whether love at first sight is real ultimately boils down the definition of love. Generally speaking, love is defined as a deeply intimate relationship where security, trust , safety, and attachment have all been established.

When you think about “love at first sight,” these factors are simply not present the first time you meet a person. Instead, they need time to develop. So the short answer as to whether love at first sight is real is no, not really.

A study published in the Indian Journal of Endocrinology and Metabolism suggests that love at first sight is actually an intense attraction at first sight.

“What can develop is an intense attraction that involves an influx of hormones and neurochemical reactions that motivate us to seek closeness and intimacy with the object of our affection and attraction,” explains Kristen Roye , PsyD. “This response system can initially be triggered instantaneously and encourage us to explore a further relationship with this person that can certainly lead to love.”

Dr. Route explains that this immediate sense of attraction and connection to another ends up triggering a flurry of hormones, including feel-good hormones such as dopamine , norepinephrine , and cortisol. This creates a burst of positive feelings that can make someone feel as though they have “found the one.”

What Are the Signs of Love at First Sight?

When people experience what feels like love at first sight, or that initial intense attraction, they might have the following emotions, thoughts, or feelings:

• Physical attraction , which can include sexual attraction or feelings of lust and desire. In fact, several studies conclude that how attractive you find another person is a huge factor in whether you experience love at first sight or a desire to pursue partnership.
• Having an instant connection that the other person may or may not feel.
• A feeling of euphoria or utter happiness, which is likely triggered by an influx of feel-good hormones such as dopamine and norepinephrine.
• Being emotionally or spiritually drawn to the other’s personality or characteristics
• Thinking about the other person often. Some studies even say the thinking can be “obsessive.” 
• Desiring to spend more time with the other person to get to know them better 
• Feeling like you’re “meant to be together” or are soul mates 

Does Love at First Sight Last Forever?

Love at first sight doesn’t automatically last forever. True love requires hard work, commitment to each other, and excellent communication. You must establish a history of trust and loyalty and feel safe with one another emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically.

Kristin Roye, PsyD.

Those initial feelings that individuals describe during ‘love at first sight’ [often] fade with time, whereas true attachment—when engaged in a healthy relationship—will grow over the years.

“The development of this type of relationship depends on so many complex factors, not limited to each partners’ openness to love and intimacy, each partner’s attachment style, communication style , and culture,” says Dr. Roye.

Of course, those initial first feelings can sometimes develop into a deep and meaningful relationship like this. If that happens for you, you’ll feel an increased mood and sense of safety and commitment within the relationship. Like any relationship, it won’t be without hills and valleys, but generally you should feel like you’re a team working together toward a happy life.

That said, it’s important to keep in mind that the “love at first sight” feelings and attraction doesn’t always develop into long-lasting love. So, even if you experienced those intense emotions and feel connected to the other person for that reason, that doesn’t mean that you should remain in the relationship if it isn’t working. 

“In all honesty, those initial feelings that individuals describe during ‘love at first sight’ [often] fade with time, whereas true attachment —when engaged in a healthy relationship—will grow over the years,” Roye says.

What If I Don't Feel Love at First Sight?

While initial attraction to another person is certainly a factor in whether you decide to pursue a relationship, long-lasting love involves so much more than that early spark. That said, if you don’t experience that initial attraction and connection, that doesn’t mean that the relationship is doomed or that genuine love won’t develop.

The reality is that true love develops over time as you get to know a person. When a relationship progresses in a healthy way, you’ll naturally become more attracted, more deeply attached, and will develop a deep sense of caring and loyalty toward the other.

When people experience that magical “love at first sight” feeling, it’s largely based on physical attraction, finding the other person special or interesting, or connecting on common ground and shared values . Add in some hormonal chemistry and your heart might just feel like it’s on fire. Experiencing these feelings is an excellent reason to pursue a relationship with someone, but remember that real, genuine love is something that develops slowly over time. 

Seshadri, K. G. (2016). The neuroendocrinology of love . Indian Journal of Endocrinology and Metabolism , 20 (4), 558–563. doi:10.4103/2230-8210.183479

Bolmont, M., Cacioppo, J. T., & Cacioppo, S. (2014). Love is in the gaze: An eye-tracking study of love and sexual desire . Psychological Science , 25 (9), 1748–1756. doi:10.1177/0956797614539706

By Wendy Rose Gould Wendy Rose Gould is a lifestyle reporter with over a decade of experience covering health and wellness topics.

Home — Essay Samples — History — Exploration — Love at First Sight: An Exploration of Its Validity and Implications

Love at First Sight: an Exploration of Its Validity and Implications

• Categories: Exploration

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Words: 625 |

Published: Jun 13, 2024

Words: 625 | Page: 1 | 4 min read

Table of contents

Introduction, psychological perspectives on love at first sight, cultural influences and love at first sight, empirical evidence and personal accounts.

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4 reasons why people 'fall in love' at first sight, according to science

• Even though some people don't believe in it, there's actually science behind the feeling of falling in love at first sight.
• True, deep love may not exist yet when you first meet someone, but you may create the memory of falling in love later on in your relationship.
• Some scientists do believe that love at first sight can be real for certain people, but staying in love is the deeper challenge.

Do you believe in love at first sight? According to a 2017 poll from dating site Elite Singles (via Harper's Bazaar), 61% of women and 72% of men think that love at first sight is real — that's a lot of people. Of course, it's hard to compare the way you love someone after you've spent years together making memories and being there for each other through the good and the bad, but there's definitely something to be said for instantly making a connection with someone the moment you meet. And as far as science is concerned, there's a reason you might feel that way.

The next time you think you're falling in love as soon as that first date begins — or if you feel like you and your current partner knew it would be forever from the second your eyes first met — these theories could explain why.

There's an actual chemical reaction in your brain that makes you feel love.

Feeling those butterflies immediately? There's a reason for that. As neuropsychotherapist Dr. Trisha Stratford told The Huffington Post, when you feel like you're falling in love, a chemical reaction is actually happening in your brain, releasing all those warm, fuzzy feelings. Your brain is creating dopamine and serotonin, and Stratford said that it "looks like the brain of someone high on heroin." Because of those chemicals, you may feel an instant attachment to someone, and as long as your brain can sense that attachment is returned, it is on.

"When you look into another person's eyes, your adaptive oscillators — which are part of the prefrontal vortex, which is the orbital frontal complex — these lock between you and your partner and it forms this loop," Stratford said. "The greater the feeling here, the stronger the feeling of love. From there, these adaptive oscillators just pull you together and guide the two mouths together and you kiss. So there are chemicals in everything."

See? Science.

Love at first sight can actually be a "positive illusion" you and your partner create yourselves.

We all know that our memories can definitely be affected over time, but apparently, you may also remember meeting a longtime partner a little differently if you want to believe that you were just as in love with them as ever from the very first day. According to Psychology Today, a 2017 study by researchers at the University of Groningen revealed that love at first sight may actually be a "positive illusion" — meaning that you and your partner may think you fell in love immediately because of the way you feel about each other months or years later.

The study also revealed that most people who experienced love at first sight ended up in a long term relationship with that person, which is what lead the researchers to believe that love at first sight is a memory bias and not its own unique type of love, as many people might think.

Another fun fact from this study? Talking about your first meeting with your partner and how you both felt at the time can actually make you feel more connected and in love.

It could all start with instant attraction.

In a study published in the Journal of Neuroscience, scientists discovered that people can decide almost immediately if they find someone attractive , and the phenomenon of love at first sight cannot happen without that initial attraction. Within seconds (or even less), your brain knows if it's interested in who it's looking at, and this can often be what leads to a lasting relationship.

What you might think of as love at first sight might actually be attraction at first sight, but don't feel bad — that's important, too. That instant attraction might be what helps you realize you want to get to know someone better, and who knows? That could be the person you end up spending the rest of your life with.

Love at first sight doesn't necessarily mean your relationship will last.

First impressions are important, but a good one doesn't guarantee that your relationship is meant to be. Clinical psychologist Dr. Salida Afridi told The National that what makes a bond between two people last requires a much deeper connection.

"It's about being invested in another person's emotional and spiritual growth," Dr. Afridi said. "There are deeper issues than just beauty and attraction at play. So while it's possible to fall for someone initially on a superficial level, you have to work to keep the relationship alive."

In other words? Don't sweat it if you didn't experience love at first sight with the person you're dating. What really matters is everything that happens in your relationship after that first meeting — and building a shared experiences and memories with them that could end up lasting a lifetime.

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Is love at first sight real why it happens & 9 signs you're experiencing it.

It's common to hear stories of people who claim to have experienced "love at first sight." There's a lot of appeal to the belief: It swirls together the swoon-worthy ideas of destiny, soul mates , true love, and "the one." But can you really fall in love with someone you've just met? And do those feelings really lead to a happy, healthy relationship?

Is love at first sight real?

Nearly 34% of people claim they've experienced love at first sight, according to the 2017 Singles in America survey of 5,500 singles conducted by the dating site Match. Broken down by gender, 41% of men and 29% of women said they've experienced it. But many marriage therapists and other relationship experts are less convinced that people can really fall in love at first sight.

"I think people can feel intense attraction and connection that they can mistake as love," licensed marriage therapist Racine R. Henry, Ph.D., LMFT, tells mbg. "We all like to believe that love is only magic, but a lot of it is actually choice."

How long it takes to fall in love can vary depending on the individual and what their personal definition of love is. But as psychologist and sex therapist  Lauren Fogel Mersy, PsyD, explains, romantic love requires actually knowing someone and their full self—something that's impossible to do just by looking at a person.

"If you see someone and never speak a word to them, do you truly feel love? Not if you define love as deep caring, understanding, support, and affection," Henry says.

That said, sometimes the initial chemistry between two people who've just met can feel so strong that it leaves a lasting impression, according to licensed marriage therapist Weena Cullins, LCMFT . "Two people can feel a deep sense of knowing each other along with an unexplainable level of connection and attraction upon first meeting each other. It's possible to sense that those feelings will remain regardless of what unfolds beyond their first encounter."

The science of love at first sight.

Research has shown people do tend to decide whether they are romantically interested in a person within seconds of meeting them, and that near-instantaneous decision depends on a mix of physical and psychological cues they pick up about the person at a first glance.

As for actually falling in love, a set of researchers set out in 2017 to study love at first sight as soon as it happened. They staged meetings with potential romantic partners for some 400 men and women and then asked about the feelings they experienced during the encounter. A small number of people did report falling in love at first sight, but those feelings didn't include high passion, intimacy, or commitment—all the classic hallmarks of romantic love psychologists look for, according to Sternberg's triangular theory of love .

The main factor that predicted falling in love at first sight with a stranger? Physical attraction.

In fact, rating a person one point higher in attractiveness was associated with a nine times higher likelihood of reporting love at first sight. That suggests a great majority of people who claim to have fallen in love at first sight are actually experiencing lust at first sight .

To be fair, love and lust are very commonly confused, according to psychologists Simone Humphrey, PsyD, and Signe Simon, Ph.D. "The two phenomena activate  similar neural pathways 1  in the brain that are involved in view of the self, goal-directed behavior, happiness, reward, and addiction," they write at mbg.

The intense, all-consuming feelings of passion, exhilaration, and longing associated with falling in love are the product of a series of neurochemical reactions in which the brain's reward system, fueled by the neurotransmitter dopamine, motivates the person to seek closeness and intimacy with the object of their affection—similar to the way the brain behaves when a person is experiencing drug addiction. Research by behavioral anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D., suggests this romantic drive response system can theoretically be triggered instantaneously.

That said, other research has found differences in the brains of people who've recently fallen in love compared with those who've been in love for decades 2 . While the brain's reward systems lit up for both groups of people when thinking of their beloved, the newly-in-love couples had some additional parts of the brain activated: the ones associated with fear and anxiety.

Reasons people might feel like they fell in love at first sight:

• Physical attraction: People are much more likely to fall in love at first sight with people they find physically attractive, according to the aforementioned 2017 study.
• Confusing love and infatuation: Infatuation involves intense feelings of attraction and fixation for someone without knowing them well, usually by way of actively ignoring red flags in favor of a fantasy.
• Openness to love: People who are looking for love might be more likely to lean into an intense initial feeling, according to Henry. "Most important is the desire for love," she explains. "Being open to love and willing to engage in a loving relationship then creates the space for 'love at first sight.'"
• The halo effect: It's likely that some happy couples retroactively embellish the story of how they met, applying their current feelings of love to their memories of the past. Think of it like remembering their first meeting with a positive glow. 

Is love at first sight dangerous?

Love at first sight isn't necessarily dangerous or unhealthy, and there are plenty of happy couples in healthy relationships who claim to have fallen in love at first sight. That said, because the feelings associated with love at first sight are usually more based on physical attraction and infatuation—as opposed to the enduring, committed care and intimacy that are hallmarks of lasting love—it's possible to get invested too quickly in a relationship that may not actually be healthy or with a partner who might not actually be compatible with them.

Early feelings of love don't necessarily mean two people are a good fit for each other, Cullins emphasizes.

"The idea that 'love conquers all' is quite misleading," she says. "Having an initial sense of deep knowing and loving connection with another person can serve as a strong base, but healthy and happy couples are also compatible in their approach to daily life, use communication and conflict resolution skills to overcome inevitable challenges, and work hard to stay in tune with each other as they evolve."

Signs it's happening to you:

• You feel an instant physical attraction to this person.
• You feel an immediate connection to this person, even though you've just met.
• You feel drawn to this person, wanting to be around them more.
• You don't actually know anything about this person, or you know very little about them.
• Everything you're learning about this person in this first meeting has you captivated.
• You already know you'd be down to be in a relationship with this person.
• You'd be OK learning that this person does have flaws, shortcomings, or qualities you dislike—it wouldn't change how you feel.
• You'd be devastated if you never saw this person again.
• You can tell the feeling will linger even if you don't see this person ever again.

How to stay grounded:

Honor your feelings..

Whether or not you want to call it love, Henry says it's OK to lean into those initial feelings of passion, desire, and connection in the early stages of a relationship . "When we act on those initial feelings of connection and attraction, we can allow ourselves to develop the feelings of love," she says.

Also: Love and dating are supposed to be fun! So lean in and enjoy the rush.

Make sure you're actually ready for a relationship.

Of course, do note that strong feelings alone won't make a relationship work if the individuals involved aren't actually committed to doing the work. Check in with yourself to make sure you're mentally and emotionally ready for a romantic relationship, says Henry. And make sure the object of your affection is on the same page!

Notice if this is a trend.

"Some people have a once-in-a-lifetime experience of feeling an immediate loving connection to another person, while others experience more of a pattern of falling in love quickly with people they meet," Cullins explains.

"Understanding your relationship with boundaries can help you determine how much you should trust your instincts when you feel you are falling in love with someone you just met. If falling in love at first sight or shortly after meeting an individual happens rather frequently, then it may be time to look at other factors that may be contributing to those feelings of immediate closeness you feel."

Set boundaries.

As you explore your connection with this person, Cullins recommends maintaining boundaries. Remember: You just met them! You have a feeling about who they are, but you don't actually know them. So take things slow, avoid making any big life decisions right away, and get to know each other the same way you would in the early stages of any relationship.

"Just because you sense that you are falling in love with someone you just met, it doesn't mean that the person or situation is safe to pursue on every level," she says. "Until you determine true compatibility, which takes time and experiencing different aspects of daily life together, it's safest to proceed with caution."

What if the feelings aren't there?

The popularity of the concept of love at first sight can sometimes create unrealistic expectations, Cullins says. "If a person never experiences it, they may question if they've met the right person to date or build a life together with. Some people may worry that if their connection isn't instantaneous then they haven't met the ideal person."

The reality is, every couple has their own unique timeline, and there's no reason to rush to say "I love you." Love is something that grows, something that often requires time to learn about each other and your dynamic as a duo.

"Feeling an instant loving connection to another person isn't a prerequisite for eventually falling in love or having a healthy successful partnership if that's the goal," Cullins says.

• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4273641/
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3277362/

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Listen to the essay, as read by Emanuele Lugli, assistant professor of art and art history in the School of Humanities & Sciences.

My colleagues chuckle when I confess it. My mum stares at me as if I told her that I have just seen an alien drop down out of the sky. Countless others have feigned surprise – and I am just talking about the nice people. Still, no one can make me change my mind. For me, the most fascinating question, the one I return to over and again as it makes the wheels of my brain spin at unprecedented speed, is about the nature of love at first sight. Does it exist or is it just a collective hallucination?

The reason that I find love at first sight bewitching is that it is a complete mystery, and yet people behave as if it were not. The industry of dating apps is built on the notion that romance must come to you in the form of pictures. And these apps contribute to why more than 50 percent of Americans claim to believe in it . (Another reason, of course, is that the notion has been drilled into them by countless novels, plays, Hollywood movies, and TV shows.)

Yet, no one can explain it.

So, as an art historian – someone who researches the ways images are constructed and the ways visual culture shapes society – I feel it is my duty to find an answer. I ask left and right. Cognitive scientists tell me that more than 50 percent of the cortex, the surface of the brain, is devoted to processing visual information , thus making a point of why vision plays such a fundamental role not just in life but also in love. Biologists direct me to phenotypes, the physical manifestations of DNA, which communicate reproductive fitness. They thus present falling in love less as a magical surrender than a natural process of mate selection.

Psychologists and sociologists look for conditioning elements but, like most academics involved in the quest, produce clinical discussions that ignore that jolt of joy that makes love at first sight so irresistible. For me, forgetting about this pleasure is like expatiating on the notes of champagne and forgetting about the fizz.

It is not just scientists who exhaust this effervescence. Plenty of writers, artists, and filmmakers have dulled the sparkle of love at first sight by presenting it in stereotypical terms. So I was captivated, elated even, when I watched Heartstopper , the Netflix coming-of-age drama that has become a hit. Like many, I was struck the first time I saw Charlie meeting soulmate Nick in a crowd of students. The camera follows Charlie’s gaze as he searches for the new desk to which he has been assigned; a backpack moves out of the frame, and here he is: Nick, out of focus, bathed in the rainbow morning light. Charlie freezes, and the camera with him. His vision sharpens. A synth grates in, a drum mimics a heartbeat, and two hand-drawn leaves enter the screen, gently flying around Charlie’s face, which opens into a smile.

The ancient Greek lyric poet Sappho captures a similar state by speaking of a delicate fire that suddenly rushes under her skin at the sight of an attractive woman. Sappho’s heart flutters: her tongue cannot move. Almost three millennia have passed since she wrote those verses, and love at first sight continues to be articulated as a paradox. When it occurs, reality is no longer whole: there is now an outside that the lover occupies like an extraneous body, and an interiority, teeming with unaccountable life. Heartstopper visualizes such a split by introducing the cartoon leaves, as a way to suggest both the shift to a symbolic plane (the leaves are two to make us think of coupling) and the presence of a mysterious wind, the very breath of life.

Emanuele Lugli, assistant professor of art and art history (Image credit: Harrison Truong)

I know it sounds trite – the suspension of reality, the ocular flirtation, the colored sunbeams – but this simplicity, call it innocence even, may be the reason why love at first sight feels so irresistible. It conjures up ideas of a blank slate, a new starting point where life bursts at its fullest because it is not corrupted by prejudices, obligations, and crippling ideas of the self. When we see someone new, even our notions of the self brims with possibilities. In other words, love at first sight brings hope.

The possibility of a different future, as well as the fact that the notion of love at first sight is shared by many cultures, are exhilarating to me. You see: I did not use to think like this. I grew up in Italy, a country that has turned the idea that walking into the world and meeting love, from everyone, everywhere, is an actual thing. I used to think of this national delusion as a product of my country’s heavy-handed cultural policy. Most of Italy’s literary and artistic achievements (Ovid, Virgil, Dante, Michelangelo) – those that saturate the curricula of its high schools and universities – are so drenched in love at first sight references that I am not surprised that, deep down, Italians think that their passions are somewhat ruled by the gods, catching glimpses of them from above the clouds, determining their amorous interests by firing arrows.

But Italians are not unique in their infatuation with the idea of love at first sight. The more I look, the more I discover its global influence (a famous example from China: Wang Shifu’s The Story of the Western Wing ). Such a realization leads me to reflect on the possibility of knowing.

Do we believe in love at first sight because its idea started spreading such a long time ago that today, after an unfathomable scalar growth of hundreds of years, it passes for truth? Or does the expression define a condition that transcends languages and cultures and is somewhat intrinsic to human life (hence, the biologists’ argument)? Is it even possible to separate personal experience from something common to everyone, and thus in a sense timeless?

These are the questions that I ask myself and my students. At Stanford, I teach a whole course on it, one that exposes students to many artworks that maintain the belief that love at first sight exists and that makes them question the role of vision in the nature of knowing.

In a way, love at first sight is for me less a theme in my scholarship than something I return to test the structure of thinking. Where does nature end and culture start? When does the individual merge into the collective? What is virtual and what is actual? Reading and thinking about love at first sight help me refine my research framework while reminding me of a need for academia to deal with the erotic. Many intellectuals, such as Audre Lorde and Fred Moten, emphasize how academic work ditches love in order to favor and even naturalize misery and alienation.

Pleasure is regrettably absent from most scholarly endeavors. So, to return to love at first sight is a way to make sure that research can be as electrifying as a leap into the imaginary embrace of someone we have never seen before.

Emanuele Lugli is assistant professor of art and art history in the School of Humanities & Sciences .

In Their Own Words is a collaboration between the Stanford Public Humanities Initiative  and Stanford University Communications.

If you’re a Stanford faculty member (in any discipline or school) who is interested in writing an essay for this series, please reach out to Natalie Jabbar at [email protected] .

Home / Essay Samples / Life / Falling in Love / A Belief in Love at First Sight

A Belief in Love at First Sight

• Category: Life
• Topic: Falling in Love , First Love

Pages: 1 (597 words)

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