macbeth essay level 9

Macbeth – A* / L9 Full Mark Example Essay

This is an A* / L9 full mark example essay on Macbeth completed by a 15-year-old student in timed conditions (50 mins writing, 10 mins planning).

It contained a few minor spelling and grammatical errors – but the quality of analysis overall was very high so this didn’t affect the grade. It is extremely good on form and structure, and perhaps could do with more language analysis of poetic and grammatical devices; as the quality of thought and interpretation is so high this again did not impede the overall mark. 

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• A range of example B-A* / L7-L9 grade essays, both at GCSE (ages 14-16) and A-Level (age 16+) with teacher comments and mark scheme feedback
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MACBETH EXAMPLE ESSAY:

Macbeth’s ambition for status and power grows throughout the play. Shakespeare uses Macbeth as an embodiment of greed and asks the audience to question their own actions through the use of his wrongful deeds.

In the extract, Macbeth is demonstrated to possess some ambition but with overriding morals, when writing to his wife about the prophecies, Lady Macbeth uses metaphors to describe his kind hearted nature: “yet I do fear thy nature, / It is too full o’th’milk of human kindness”. Here, Shakespeare presents Macbeth as a more gentle natured being who is loyal to his king and country. However, the very act of writing the letter demonstrates his inklings of desire, and ambition to take the throne. Perhaps, Shakespeare is aiming to ask the audience about their own thoughts, and whether they would be willing to commit heinous deeds for power and control. 

Furthermore, the extract presents Macbeth’s indecisive tone when thinking of the murder – he doesn’t want to kill Duncan but knows it’s the only way to the throne. Lady Macbeth says she might need to interfere in order to persuade him; his ambition isn’t strong enough yet: “That I may pour my spirits in  thine ear / And chastise with the valour of my tongue”. Here, Shakespeare portrays Lady Macbeth as a manipulative character, conveying she will seduce him in order to “sway “ his mind into killing Duncan. The very need for her persuasion insinuates Macbeth is still weighing up the consequences in his head, his ambition equal with his morality. It would be shocking for the audience to see a female character act in this authoritative way. Lady Macbeth not only holds control of her husband in a patriarchal society but the stage too, speaking in iambic pentameter to portray her status: “To catch the nearest way. Thou wouldst be great”. It is interesting that Shakespeare uses Lady Macbeth in this way; she has more ambition for power than her husband at this part of play. 

As the play progresses, in Act 3, Macbeth’s ambition has grown and now kills with ease. He sends three murders to kill Banquo and his son, Fleance, as the witches predicted that he may have heirs to the throne which could end his reign. Macbeth is suspicious in this act, hiding his true intentions from his dearest companion and his wife: “I wish your horses swift and sure on foot” and “and make our faces vizards to our hearts”. There, we see, as an audience, Macbeth’s longing to remain King much stronger than his initial attitudes towards the throne He was toying with the idea of killing for the throne and now he is killing those that could interfere with his rule without a second thought. It is interesting that Shakespeare presents him this way, as though he is ignoring his morals or that they have been “numbed” by his ambition. Similarly to his wife in the first act, Macbeth also speaks in pentameter to illustrate his increase in power and dominance. 

In Act 4, his ambition and dependence on power has grown even more. When speaking with the witches about the three apparitions, he uses imperatives to portray his newly adopted controlling nature: “I conjure you” and “answer me”. Here, the use of his aggressive demanding demonstrates his reliance on the throne and his need for security. By the Witches showing him the apparitions and predicting his future, he gains a sense of superiority, believing he is safe and protected from everything. Shakespeare also lengthens Macbeth’s speech in front of the Witches in comparison to Act 1 to show his power and ambition has given him confidence, confidence to speak up to the “filthy nags” and expresses his desires. Although it would be easy to infer Macbeth’s greed and ambition has grown from his power-hungry nature, a more compassionate reading of Macbeth demonstrates the pressure he feels as a Jacobean man and soldier. Perhaps he feels he has to constantly strive for more to impress those around him or instead he may want to be king to feel more worthy and possibly less insecure. 

It would be unusual to see a Jacobean citizen approaching an “embodiment” of the supernatural as forming alliance with them was forbidden and frowned upon. Perhaps Shakespeare uses Macbeth to defy these stereotypical views to show that there is a supernatural, a more dark side in us all and it is up to our own decisions whereas we act on these impulses to do what is morally incorrect. 

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Mr Salles Teaches English

Grade 9 Essay: How does Shakespeare present the theme of ambition in the play?

What is the shortest essay which can get full marks.

I’m writing a guide to how to write essays at each grade for Macbeth. My Ultimate Guide to Macbeth shows you how to understand the whole play, scene by scene, to above grade 9. It also shows you how to write about each scene at grades 6, 7, 8, 9 and beyond grade 9.

I’ve written over 20 guides and it is the best guide I have ever written.

But, what if you are a student who just wants a grade 5, or just wants a grade 7, or you want a grade 9, but you want it as quickly as possible. You don’t want to read an Ultimate Guide to Macbeth - that’s going to have a lot of Mr Salles brilliance in it but, no offence Mr Salles, English isn’t even in my top 5 subjects.

I want the maximum marks, with the minimum effort.

So, that’s why I’m writing a series of new guides, showing you ‘just’ what you need for each grade, and no more.

How I wrote the essays in the essay writing guide (out in September)

I found all the essays I could which had been marked by a senior examiner.

I rewrote them, changing all the words, but keeping every idea and technique, and every quote.

Then I counted the features of each essay. Exam criteria are vague and open to interpretation. So I wondered, are there features of each essay I can count, which are not open to interpretation? And then, if we do count these features, will they predict the right mark?

Let’s find out.

This is an extract from the guide. Normally, my comments, and the examiner comments, follow the essay. Here, I have put the comments first so you can see what the examiner is looking for before you read the essay.

Response 24

Thesis Statement Yes Explanations 9 Quotes 5 Named Methods 5 Society/era/patriarchal/Jacobean/contemporary/ historical reference etc 3 Shakespeare 4 Exploratory Could, Might, May, Perhaps, Probably 0 Conclusion Yes Paragraphs 7

My Comments

Well, well, well. I was not expecting that mark. (It scored 25/30).

It doesn’t have anywhere near the number of references or quotations I was expecting for AO1.

It introduces the idea that ambition will affect ‘reason’, but never actually proves it –there are many easy examples and quotes revealing the mental state of Macbeth – is this a dagger, murdered sleep, never shake they gory locks, my mind is full of scorpions etc - and Lady Macbeth sleepwalking. The original essay included mistakes in identifying adverbs and nouns, which I’ve got rid of, because even naming them correctly adds no marks. There is very little context used to back up interpretations.

So, what has impressed the examiner?

There are both a thesis statement and a conclusion, so it becomes a well-constructed argument. The student has quoted from the end of the play right at the beginning, to show that they are dealing with the whole text. Although they don’t give many examples from the rest of the play, they do move through it chronologically, so it is a well-constructed argument. This, and very specific language to describe it, helps the student look at Macbeth’s character arc, his ‘journey’, showing how Macbeth changes. The answer looks at the structure of the play in two ways. First by viewing Macbeth’s life in two parts – a rise and fall. Secondly, by exploring Banquo as the antithesis to Macbeth in his ambition. These two ideas mark the answer out as thoughtful and different from most students’ essays.

Examiner Comments

The answer focuses on ambition right from the start and with every point. The thesis statement and next paragraph make it clear that the student is dealing with the whole text. The essay is thoughtful and developed. The student embeds quotations and references to illustrate their ideas. The student’s comments about Shakespeare’s intentions throughout the essay show that they realise his choices are deliberate. In order to get into level 6 the student should explore more of Shakespeare’s ideas.

Write down the other ideas you could put into this essay.

Find references or quotes to back these up.

Write another 350 words to add in to get 30/30.

Thank you for reading Mr Salles Teaches English. I want every student to be able to go up by several grades. Please share this post to help me reach that goal.

The 420 Word Essay!

Shakespeare reveals ambition as the dominant theme in the play, because it is Macbeth’s overpowering ambition which leads to his immoral murder of King Duncan. Lady Macbeth and the witches can only influence Macbeth in this because his ambition is already so great.

In this extract, Shakespeare explores how ambition influences even the most honourable. This is why he gives Lady Macbeth the perspective that Macbeth’s character is “ too full o’th’ milk of human kindness ”, which is her real perception because Shakespeare reveals it in SOLILOQUY. We associate “ milk ” with innocence and purity, which implies that Macbeth is too noble to act on his ambition. Yet, once he has reigned as king, he is viewed as a “ butcher ”, because he has become both cruel and indiscriminate in his killing.

This change from excessive kindness to tyranny is a surprising journey, which warns the audience of the danger of ambition. Moreover, Shakespeare portrays ambition as a force which will overcome morality and reason. He gives Lady Macbeth the view that Macbeth is “ not without ambition, but without the illness should attend it ”. The COMPARISON of ambition to “ illness ” implies that it is destructive, and also that this destruction can turn on the ambitious person themselves, attacking their sense of morality and ability to be kind.

Macbeth lists every reason not to murder Duncan, before focusing on his “ vaulting ambition ”. This METAPHOR implies that his ambition is more powerful than his conscience, so he will overcome his moral objections.

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The rest of the answer is below the line.

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‘Macbeth’ Grade 9 Example Response

Grade 9 – full mark – ‘Macbeth’ response

Starting with this extract (from act 1 scene 7), how does Shakespeare present the relationship between Macbeth and Lady Macbeth?

In Shakespeare’s eponymous tragedy ‘Macbeth’, Macbeth and Lady Macbeth’s relationship is a complex portrait of love, illustrating layers of utter devotion alongside overwhelming resentment. Though the couple begins the play unnaturally strong within their marriage, this seems to act as an early warning of their imminent and inevitable fall from grace, ending the play in an almost entirely different relationship than the one they began the play with.

In the exposition of the play, Macbeth and Lady Macbeth initially appear immensely strong within their marriage, with Macbeth describing his wife as ‘my dearest partner of greatness’ in act 1 scene 5. The emotive superlative adjective ‘dearest’ is a term of endearment, and acts as a clear depiction of how valued Lady Macbeth is by her husband. Secondly, the noun ‘partner’ creates a sense of sincere equality which, as equality within marriage would have been unusual in the Jacobean era, illustrates to a contemporary audience the positive aspects of their relationship. Furthermore the lexical choice ‘greatness’ may connote ambition, and as they are ‘partner(s)’, Shakespeare suggests that Macbeth and Lady Macbeth are equal in their desire for power and control, further confirming their compatibility but potentially hinting that said compatibility will serve as the couple’s hamartia.

However, the strength of Macbeth and Lady Macbeth’s relationship falls into a rapid downward spiral in the subsequent scenes, as a struggle for power within the marriage ensues. This is evidenced when Macbeth, in act 1 scene 7, uses the declarative statement ‘we will proceed no further in this business’. Here, Macbeth seems to exude masculinity, embracing his gender role and dictating both his and his wife’s decisions. The negation ‘no’ clearly indicates his alleged definitive attitude. However, Lady Macbeth refuses to accept her husband’s rule, stating ‘when you durst do it, then you were a man’. She attempts to emasculate him to see their plan through. The verb ‘durst’ illustrates the risk taking behaviour that Lady Macbeth is encouraging; implying an element of toxicity within their relationship, and her harsh speech makes the cracks in their relationship further visible to the audience. It is also probable that a contemporary audience would be made severely uncomfortable in the presence of Lady Macbeth’s unapologetic display of power, and it is possible that Shakespeare attempts to paint Lady Macbeth as the villain of the play, playing upon the audience’s pre-determined fears of feminine power. Though Lady Macbeth appears to be acting entirely out of self-interest, another reader may argue that she influences her husband so heavily to commit the heinous act of regicide, as she believes that he crown may as a substitute for the child or children that Shakespeare suggests she and Macbeth have lost previously, and in turn better Macbeth’s life and bring him to the same happiness that came with the child, except in another form.

As the play progresses, Shakespeare creates more and more distance between the characters, portraying the breakdown of their relationship as gradual within the play but rapid in the overall sense of time on stage. For example, Lady Macbeth requests a servant ‘say to the king’ Lady Macbeth ‘would attend his leisure/ for a few words’. Here she is reduced to the status of someone far lesser than the king, having to request to speak to her own husband. It could be interpreted that, now as king, Macbeth holds himself above all else, even his wife, perhaps due to the belief of the divine right of kings. The use of the title rather than his name plainly indicated the lack of closeness Lady Macbeth now feels with Macbeth and intensely emotionally separates them. This same idea is referenced as Shakespeare develops the characters to almost juxtapose each other in their experiences after the murder of Duncan. For example, Macbeth seems to be trapped in a permanent day, after ‘Macbeth does murder sleep’ and his guilt and paranoia render him unable to rest. In contrast, Lady Macbeth takes on an oppositional path, suffering sleepwalking and unable to wake from her nightmare; repeating the phrase ‘to bed. To bed’ as if trapped in a never-ending night. This illustrates to the audience the extreme transformation Macbeth and Lady Macbeth’s relationship undergoes, and how differently they end up experiencing the aftermath of regicide.

In conclusion, Macbeth and Lady Macbeth begin the play almost too comfortable within their marriage, which seems to invite the presence of chaos and tragedy into their relationship. Their moral compositions are opposing one another, which leads to the distancing and total breakdown of their once successful marriage and thus serves as a warning to the audience about the effects of murder, and what the deadly sin of greed can do to a person and a marriage.

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gcseenglishwithmisshuttlestone

Secondary English teacher in Herts. View all posts by gcseenglishwithmisshuttlestone

9 thoughts on “‘Macbeth’ Grade 9 Example Response”

wheres the context

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It is also probable that a contemporary audience would be made severely uncomfortable in the presence of Lady Macbeth’s unapologetic display of power, and it is possible that Shakespeare attempts to paint Lady Macbeth as the villain of the play, playing upon the audience’s pre-determined fears of feminine power.

Also ref to ‘divine right of kings’

Thank you! This is a brilliant response. Just what I needed. Could you also please include the extract in the question.

We will proceed no further in this business. He hath honored me of late, and I have bought Golden opinions from all sorts of people, Which would be worn now in their newest gloss, Not cast aside so soon.

—> until end of scene

She did (Act 1 Scene 7)

Another great resource for grade 9 Macbeth analysis https://youtu.be/bGzLDRX71bs

In order to get a grade 9 for a piece like this would you need to include a wide range of vocabulary or could you write the same thing ‘dumbed down’ and get a 9.

If the ideas were as strong then yes, but your writing must AT LEAST be ‘clear’ for a grade 6 or above.

This is really great, I’m in Year 10 doing my Mock on Thursday, a great point that i have found (because I also take history) Is the depiction of women throughout the play, during the Elizabethan era, (before the Jacobean era) many people had a changed view of women as Queen Elizabeth was such a powerful woman, glimpses of this have been shown in Jacobean plays, in this case Macbeth, Lady Macbeth is depicted as powerful although she had to be killed of to please King James (as he was a misogynist) women are also depicted as evil in the play, such as the three witches, I also found that the Witches are in three which could be a mockery to the Holy Trinity.

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Macbeth Essays

There are loads of ways you can approach writing an essay, but the two i favour are detailed below., the key thing to remember is that an essay should focus on the three aos:, ao1: plot and character development; ao2: language and technique; ao3: context, strategy 1 : extract / rest of play, the first strategy basically splits the essay into 3 paragraphs., the first paragraph focuses on the extract, the second focuses on the rest of the play, the third focuses on context. essentially, it's one ao per paragraph, for a really neatly organised essay., strategy 2 : a structured essay with an argument, this strategy allows you to get a much higher marks as it's structured to form an argument about the whole text. although you might think that's harder - and it's probably going to score more highly - i'd argue that it's actually easier to master. mainly because you do most of the work before the day of the exam., to see some examples of these, click on the links below:, lady macbeth as a powerful woman, macbeth as a heroic character, the key to this style is remembering this: you're going to get a question about a theme, and the extract will definitely relate to the theme., the strategy here is planning out your essays before the exam, knowing that the extract will fit into them somehow., below are some structured essays i've put together., macbeth and gender.

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GCSE Grade 9 ‘Macbeth’ Theme Essay ‘How is ambition explored in the play?’ 1b (32 marks)

Subject: English

Age range: 14-16

Resource type: Assessment and revision

Last updated

7 December 2022

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GCSE Grade 9 ‘Macbeth’ Theme Essay ‘How is ambition explored in the play?’ 1b (32 marks) Was awarded full marks and was written in timed conditions - this is therefore the perfect balance of quote analysis, play coverage, points, context and bringing the paragraphs back to the main question/theme. 905 words total, 6 big paragraphs This high-level essay has been well structured, concise and efficient paper It’s hard to find thematic analysis on Shakespeare’s ‘Macbeth’ so I hope this saves someone’s essays or revision! :) Some of the points covered: -Macbeth’s fatal flaw -How it is used as motivation -How it causes corruption -Macduff’s ambitions

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Fate Vs Free Will in Macbeth

• Categories: Free Will Tragedy

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Published: Mar 5, 2024

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