the effect of divorce on child behavior essay

The Impact of Divorce on Children

Why growing up in two homes is so hard, and what can help..

Posted August 4, 2022 | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk

• The Challenges of Divorce
• Find a therapist to heal from a divorce
• Ongoing conflict between parents after they split up is deeply unsettling for children.
• Except under extreme circumstances, children are much better off keeping regular, ongoing contact with both parents.
• Divorced parents should try to co-parent together in a constructive, cooperative, and respectful way.

Nearly half of married couples in the United States eventually get divorced , according to some estimates. Because it occurs so often, it’s easy to forget just how difficult and traumatic divorce can be for children. Research published by sociologist Lisa Strohschein showed that, even before marital breakup, children whose parents later divorce exhibit higher levels of anxiety , depression , and antisocial behavior than peers whose parents remain married. There is a further increase in anxiety and depression in children when parents do divorce. U.S.-based psychologist Sharlene Wolchik and colleagues found that parental divorce is associated with significant risks for children and adolescents, including substance abuse and addictions, mental and physical health problems, and poor educational outcomes.

Traumatic Loss of Divorce

There is not always enough support or even acknowledgment of what a traumatic loss divorce can be for couples and their children. Whatever the reasons for the split, there are usually feelings of grief , sadness, anger , betrayal, guilt , and shame . Marital breakdown can leave both parents feeling devastated, and the stress can evoke primitive and powerful feelings of abandonment, isolation, and fear . This can lead to anxiety or depression. It's not easy to give your children what they need when you are highly vulnerable and emotionally fragile. Practically and logistically, things can be harder for you and your children when a marriage breaks down. Divorce often brings financial strain and social difficulty. Children can believe themselves to be the cause of their parents’ divorce. Guilt and shame can make them feel worthless, anxious, and depressed. Every part of their lives—living arrangements, extra-murals, decisions about schooling, and holidays—can be fraught with conflict if the parents are not able to co-operate with one another.

You might not like or trust your ex, especially early on in the separation and divorce process. It can feel deeply painful and upsetting as well to be separated from your children while they are in the care of their other parent—quite possibly your least favourite person under the circumstances. There may be realistic concerns—sometimes related to the use of drugs or alcohol —about the safety of children in the care of your ex. Some parents even worry about different kinds of abuse when their children are with the other parent. But, for the most part, the children have to find a safe place for themselves in two separate homes. It is essential that they are helped to feel at home in both places. It can sometimes even be a relief, after a divorce, for children to be in an environment where there is peace and an absence of tension.

Parents at War

When their mother and father are in enemy camps, a child has to try to figure out who is right and who is wrong, who is "good" and who is "bad." If a mother believes, for example, that her ex-husband is dangerous or evil, a child might feel unsafe and mistrustful of his father. The child might reject the father to keep himself and his mother psychologically safe. It can be hard for a child to love and trust a parent who is hated by the other.

Kate Scharff, author of Divorce and Parenting Wars , writes that the legal system often brings a highly adversarial tone to divorce. Unless your circumstances are such that you can't avoid it, try not to enter into a win/lose battle with an ex. Children are almost always victims in this conflict. They can feel torn apart when their parents cannot manage a civil, amicable, respectful dissolution of their marriage. Canadian psychologist Arthur Leonoff explains in his book The Good Divorce why divorce is so difficult for children and what parents and their therapists can do to help them. Preserving the child’s treasured mental image of herself with her two biological parents is vital, according to Leonoff, because this mental image forms the basis of the child’s identity .

An important message for parents after marital breakdown is to try to preserve, as much as possible, the ongoing relationship with your ex—who will always, for better and for worse, be your children's other parent. For the sake of your children, try to co-parent together in a constructive, cooperative, and respectful way.

Lisa Strohschein, ‘Parental Divorce and Child Mental Health Trajectories’, Journal of Marriage and Family 67, no. 5 (2005): 1286–1300, https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2005.00217.x .

Sharlene A. Wolchik, et al., ‘Developmental Cascade Models of a Parenting-Focused Program for Divorced Families on Mental Health Problems and Substance Use in Emerging Adulthood’, Developmental Psychopathology 28, no. 3 (August 2016): 869–888, doi: 10.1017/S0954579416000365.

Scharff, Kate. ‘Divorce and Parenting Wars’. In Psychoanalytic Couple Psychotherapy: Foundations of Theory and Practice, edited by David E. Scharff and Jill Savege Scharff, 279–294. London: Karnac, 2014.

Arthur Leonoff, The Good Divorce: A Psychoanalyst’s Exploration of Separation, Divorce, and Childcare (London: Routledge, 2018), 71–199.

Jenny Perkel is a clinical psychologist and the author of Children in Mind and Babies in Mind.

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The Psychological Effects of Divorce on Children

Take steps to help kids bounce back faster

• Emotional Impact

Divorce-Related Stress

Risks families face, helping kids adjust.

• Getting Help

As a marriage dissolves, some parents find themselves asking questions like, “ Should we stay together for the kids?” Other parents find divorce is their only option.

And while all parents may have many worries on their mind—from the future of their living situation to the uncertainty of the custody arrangement—they may worry most about how the children will deal with the divorce.

So what are the psychological effects of divorce on children? It depends. While divorce is stressful for all children, some kids rebound faster than others.

The good news is, parents can take steps to reduce the psychological effects of divorce on children. A few supportive parenting strategies can go a long way to helping kids adjust to the changes brought about by divorce .

Verywell / Brianna Gilmartin

Why the First Year Is the Toughest

As you might expect, research has found that kids struggle the most during the first year or two after the divorce.   Kids are likely to experience distress, anger, anxiety, and disbelief.

But many kids seem to bounce back. They get used to changes in their daily routines and they grow comfortable with their living arrangements. Others, however, never really seem to go back to “normal.” This small percentage of children may experience ongoing—possibly even lifelong—problems after their parents’ divorce.

Emotional Impact of Divorce

Divorce creates emotional turmoil for the entire family, but for kids, the situation can be quite scary, confusing, and frustrating :

• Young children often struggle to understand why they must go between two homes. They may worry that if their parents can stop loving one another that someday, their parents may stop loving them.
• Grade school children may worry that the divorce is their fault. They may fear they misbehaved or they may assume they did something wrong.
• Teenagers may become quite angry about a divorce and the changes it creates. They may blame one parent for the dissolution of the marriage or they may resent one or both parents for the upheaval in the family.

Of course, each situation is unique. In extreme circumstances, a child may feel relieved by the separation—if a divorce means fewer arguments and less stress.

Divorce usually means children lose daily contact with one parent—most often fathers. Decreased contact affects the parent-child bond and according to a paper published in 2014, researchers have found many children feel less close to their fathers after divorce.  

Divorce also affects a child’s relationship with the custodial parent—most often mothers. Primary caregivers often report higher levels of stress associated with single parenting.  

A study published in 2013 suggested that mothers are often less supportive and less affectionate after divorce. Additionally, their discipline becomes less consistent and less effective.  

For some children, parental separation isn’t the hardest part. Instead, the accompanying stressors are what make divorce the most difficult. Changing schools, moving to a new home, and living with a single parent who feels a little more frazzled are just a few of the additional stressors that make divorce difficult.

Financial hardships are also common following divorce. Many families have to move to smaller homes or change neighborhoods and they often have fewer material resources.

Many children endure ongoing changes to their family dynamics. The addition of a step-parent and possibly several step-siblings can be another big adjustment. And quite often both parents re-marry, which means many changes for kids.

The failure rate for second marriages is even higher than first marriages. So many children experience multiple separations and divorces over the years.

Mental Health Problems

Divorce may increase the risk for mental health problems in children and adolescents. Regardless of age, gender, and culture, children of divorced parents experience increased psychological problems.  

Divorce may trigger an adjustment disorder in children that resolves within a few months. But, studies have also found depression and anxiety rates are higher in children from divorced parents.

Behavior Problems

Children from divorced families may experience more externalizing problems, such as conduct disorders, delinquency, and impulsive behavior than kids from two-parent families.   In addition to increased behavior problems, children may also experience more conflict with peers after a divorce.

Poor Academic Performance

Children from divorced families don’t always perform as well academically. However, a study published in 2019 suggested kids from divorced families tended to have trouble with school if the divorce was unexpected, whereas children from families where divorce was likely didn't have the same outcome.  

Risk-Taking Behaviors

Adolescents with divorced parents are more likely to engage in risky behavior, such as substance use and early sexual activity. In the United States, adolescents with divorced parents drink alcohol earlier and report higher alcohol, marijuana, tobacco, and drug use than their peers.

Adolescents whose parents divorced when they were 5 years old or younger were at particularly high risk for becoming sexually active prior to the age of 16, according to a study published in 2010.   Separation from fathers has also been associated with higher numbers of sexual partners during adolescence.  

Adults who experienced divorce during childhood may have more relationship difficulties. Divorce rates are higher for people whose parents were divorced.   Parents play a major role in how children adjust to a divorce. Here are some strategies that can reduce the psychological toll divorce has on children:

Co-Parent Peacefully

Intense conflict between parents has been shown to increase children’s distress. Overt hostility, such as screaming and threatening one another has been linked to behavior problems in children.   But minor tension may also increase a child’s distress. If you struggle to co-parent with your ex-spouse, seek professional help.

Avoid Putting Kids in the Middle

Asking kids to choose which parent they like best or giving them messages to give to other parents isn’t appropriate. Kids who find themselves caught in the middle are more likely to experience depression and anxiety.

Maintain Healthy Relationships

Positive communication, parental warmth, and low levels of conflict may help children adjust to divorce better. A healthy parent-child relationship has been shown to help kids develop higher self-esteem and better academic performance following divorce.

Use Consistent Discipline

Establish age-appropriate rules and follow through with consequences when necessary. A study published in 2011 showed effective discipline after divorce reduced delinquency and improved academic performance.  

Monitor Adolescents Closely

When parents pay close attention to what teens are doing and who they spend their time with, adolescents are less likely to exhibit behavior problems following a divorce. That means a reduced chance of using substances and fewer academic problems.

Empower Your Children

Kids who doubt their ability to deal with the changes and those who see themselves as helpless victims are more likely to experience mental health problems. Teach your child that although dealing with divorce is difficult, he has the mental strength to handle it.

Teach Coping Skills

Kids with active coping strategies, like problem-solving skills and cognitive restructuring skills, adapt better to divorce. Teach your child how to manage his thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in a healthy way.

Help Kids Feel Safe

Fear of abandonment and concerns about the future can cause a lot of anxiety. But helping your child feel loved, safe, and secure can not only reduce clinginess but also diminish the risk of mental health problems.

Seek Parent Education

There are many programs available to help reduce the impact divorce has on kids. Parents are taught co-parenting skills and strategies for helping kids cope with the adjustments.

Get Professional Help

Reducing your stress level can be instrumental in helping your child. Practice self-care and consider talk therapy or other resources to help you adjust to the changes in your family.

When to Seek Help for Your Child

Despite the fact that divorce is tough on families, staying together for the sole sake of the children may not be the best option. Children who live in homes with a lot of arguing, hostility and discontentment may be at a higher risk for developing mental health issues and behavior problems.

Consequently, following a parental separation, it's normal for kids to struggle with their feelings and their behavior immediately afterwards. But, if your child’s mood issues or behavioral problems persist, seek professional help .

Start by talking to your child’s pediatrician. Discuss your concerns and inquire about whether your child may need professional support. A referral to talk therapy or other supportive services may be recommended.

Individual therapy may help your child sort out his emotions. Family therapy may also be recommended to address changes in family dynamics. Some communities also offer support groups for kids. Support groups allow kids in certain age groups to meet with other children who may be experiencing similar changes in family structure.

Kleinsorge C, Covitz LM. Impact of divorce on children: developmental considerations. Pediatr Rev . 2012;33(4):147-54. doi:10.1542/pir.33-4-147

Rappaport SR. Deconstructing the Impact of Divorce on Children .  Family Law Quarterly . 2013;47(3):353-377.

Anderson J. The impact of family structure on the health of children: Effects of divorce .  Linacre Q . 2014;81(4):378–387. doi:10.1179/0024363914Z.00000000087

Rodriguez-JenKins J, Marcenko MO. Parenting stress among child welfare involved families: Differences by child placement .  Child Youth Serv Rev . 2014;46:19–27. doi:10.1016/j.childyouth.2014.07.024

Wallerstein J, Lewis J, Rosenthal SP. Mothers and their children after divorce: Report from a 25-year longitudinal study .  Psychoanalytic Psychology . 2013;30(2):167-184. doi:10.1037/a0032511.

D'Onofrio B, Emery R. Parental divorce or separation and children's mental health .  World Psychiatry . 2019;18(1):100–101. doi:10.1002/wps.20590

Brand JE, Moore R, Song X, Xie Y. Parental divorce is not uniformly disruptive to children's educational attainment. Proc Natl Acad Sci USA . 2019;116(15):7266-7271. doi:10.1073/pnas.1813049116

Donahue KL, D'Onofrio BM, Bates JE, Lansford JE, Dodge KA, Pettit GS. Early exposure to parents' relationship instability: implications for sexual behavior and depression in adolescence.   J Adolesc Health . 2010;47(6):547–554. doi:10.1016/j.jadohealth.2010.04.004

Ryan RM. Nonresident fatherhood and adolescent sexual behavior: a comparison of siblings approach .  Dev Psychol . 2015;51(2):211–223. doi:10.1037/a0038562

Perelli-Harris B, Berrington A, Sánchez Gassen N, Galezewska P, Holland JA. The Rise in Divorce and Cohabitation: Is There a Link?   Popul Dev Rev . 2017;43(2):303–329. doi:10.1111/padr.12063

Sigal A, Sandler I, Wolchik S, Braver S. Do Parent Education Programs Promote Healthy Post-Divorce Parenting? Critical Distinctions and a Review of the Evidence.  Fam Court Rev . 2011;49(1):120–139. doi:10.1111/j.1744-1617.2010.01357.x

Pollak S. Adversities in childhood and their impact on mental health across the life course.  European Psychiatry . 2016;33.

Sun Y, Li Y. Parental divorce, sibship size, family resources, and children’s academic performance.  Social Science Research . 2009;38(3):622-634.

• Carr CM, Wolchik SA.  International Encyclopedia of the Social & Behavioral Sciences  . 2nd ed. Elsevier Science; 2015.
• Cronin S, Becher EH, Mccann E, Mcguire J, Powell S. Relational conflict and outcomes from an online divorce education program.  Evaluation and Program Planning . 2017;62:49-55.

By Amy Morin, LCSW Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, an international bestselling author of books on mental strength and host of The Verywell Mind Podcast. She delivered one of the most popular TEDx talks of all time.

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• v.81(4); November, 2014

The impact of family structure on the health of children: Effects of divorce *

Nearly three decades of research evaluating the impact of family structure on the health and well-being of children demonstrates that children living with their married, biological parents consistently have better physical, emotional, and academic well-being. Pediatricians and society should promote the family structure that has the best chance of producing healthy children. The best scientific literature to date suggests that, with the exception of parents faced with unresolvable marital violence, children fare better when parents work at maintaining the marriage. Consequently, society should make every effort to support healthy marriages and to discourage married couples from divorcing.

Epidemiology

The demographics of families are changing, and with that, the philosophical underpinnings of relationships are also changing. Many young adults feel marriage is old-fashioned and confining, and that open cohabitating relationships provide a healthier option that is more conducive to personal development. If a relationship does not provide personal happiness, parents often believe that their children will adapt to new family relationships so that divorce or separation will have few long-term, adverse consequences. These beliefs have led to marriage occurring later, women having fewer children and doing so later in life, single mothers giving birth to many of our children, more parents cohabitating, and fewer children living with their married, biologic parents.

In 1960, the average age of a woman's first marriage was 20.3 years; that of men was 22.8 years. But by 2010, that changed so that the median age at first marriage was 25.8 years for women and 28.3 years for men ( Copen et al. 2012 ). In 1960, the rate of marriage for women was 76.5 per 10,000, but this had decreased to 37.4 per 10,000 by 2008. The birth rate for the United States is now so low that it is below replacement rate, and 41 percent of all births in 2009 were to unmarried women. Nearly one in five births to women in their thirties was non-marital in 2007, compared with one in seven in 2002.

Children's lives track with these statistics. In 1970, 84 percent of children lived with their married biologic parents, whereas by 2009, only 60 percent did so. In 2009, only 29 percent of African-American children lived with their married biologic parents, while 50 percent were living in single-mother homes. Furthermore, 58 percent of Hispanic children lived with married biologic parents, while 25 percent were living in single-mother homes. Importantly, a recent Harvard study on single-parent families revealed that the most prominent factor preventing many children from upward mobility is living with a single parent ( Chetty et al. 2014 ).

In addition, the number of couples who choose to cohabit rather than marry has increased dramatically, with 4.9 million cohabiting couples in 2002, versus just 500,000 in 1970 ( U.S. Census Bureau 2003 ). Half of the unmarried births are to mothers who are in cohabitating relationships, and seven in ten children of cohabitating couples will experience parental separation. The dissolution rate of cohabitating couples is four times higher than married couples who did not cohabitate before marriage ( Osborne, Manning, and Stock 2007 ).

The Centers for Disease Control stopped gathering complete data on the number of children affected by divorce in 1988, and at that time more than one million children were affected ( Cohen 2002 ). Since then, the incidence of divorce has continued to climb, and according to the 2009 American Community Survey, only 45.8 percent of children reach age 17 years while still living with their biologic parents who were married before or around the time of the child's birth ( Fagan and Zill 2011 ). The majority of divorces affect younger children since 72 percent of divorces occur during the first 14 years of marriage. Because a high percentage of divorced adults remarry, and 40 percent of these remarriages also end in divorce, children may be subjected to multiple family realignments ( Cohen 2002 ).

The precipitating causes of divorce have also changed over time. Prior to no-fault divorce laws, the legal procedures for obtaining a divorce were often difficult and expensive, so that only the most dysfunctional marriages ended in divorce. Children who are removed from the most dysfunctional environments are more likely to do better after the divorce. However, with the introduction of no-fault divorce laws, it is likely that the child has not experienced severe levels of parental discord, so the divorce has more adverse effects on the child. One study seems to conclude that the majority of more recent divorces were not preceded by an extended period of marital conflict ( Amato and Booth 1997 as quoted in Amato 2001).

Divorce and parental separation are damaging to children, families, the economy, and society as a whole, and this paper outlines these adverse effects. While recognizing that not all children or parents will experience every negative consequence listed below, given the seriousness of these adverse outcomes and the magnitude of the issue, it is important that pediatricians support public policies that promote the health and preservation of the child's biologic family.

Evaluating the Literature

When evaluating the scientific research on the effects of divorce on children and parents, it is important to consider all of the factors affecting the outcome, including family dynamics, children's temperaments and ages at the time of divorce, and family socioeconomic status, as well as any behavioral or academic concerns present prior to divorce. Some adverse effects noted in the literature after divorce are actually diminished when controlled for their presence prior to divorce. It is also important to note that violence in a home is never acceptable and can have serious adverse effects on children's behavior, development, academic success, and future health.

Effects of Divorce on Children

Each child and each family are obviously unique, with different strengths and weaknesses, different personalities and temperaments, and varying degrees of social, emotional, and economic resources, as well as differing family situations prior to divorce. Despite these differences, divorce has been shown to diminish a child's future competence in all areas of life, including family relationships, education, emotional well-being, and future earning power. One review of the literature conducted in the United Kingdom found that “although children are at increased risk of adverse outcomes following family breakdown and that negative outcomes can persist into adulthood, the difference between children from intact and non-intact families is a small one, and the majority of children will not be adversely affected in the long-term” ( Mooney, Oliver, and Smith 2009 ). There is much research, however, that offers evidence to the contrary.

Two large meta-analyses, one reported in 1991 and the other reported ten years later in 2001, showed that “children with divorced parents continued to score significantly lower on measures of academic achievement, conduct, psychological adjustment, self-concept, and social relations” ( Amato and Keith 1991 ; Amato and Booth 1997 as quoted in Amato 2001).

This research demonstrates that, when a child experiences parental divorce, there are significant losses that must be acknowledged.

The child may lose time with each parent

• 1.  Parents must adjust to their own losses as well as to their new role as a divorced parent. Thus, parents may not have as much emotional strength and time to invest in parenting, i.e., the parents experience a “moratorium on parenting.”
• 2.  Although laws are gradually changing, most children spend more time with one custodial parent and obviously have less time with each parent overall.
• 3.  For most children, this means much less time spent with their fathers.
• 4.  The child may also spend less time with their mother as she may need to work longer hours to support the family.

The child may lose economic security

• a. Women who divorced in the past 12 months were more likely to receive public assistance than divorced men (23% versus 15%) ( U.S. Census Bureau 2011 ).
• b. Even five years after the divorce, mothers who remain single have only risen to 94 percent of their pre-divorce income, while continuously married couples have increased their income.
• c. In 2000, the median income of single-mother households was 47 percent that of married-couple households ( American Academy of Pediatrics 2003 ).
• 2.  Only 50 percent of custodial mothers have child support agreements, and 25 percent of mothers who have been granted support receive no payments.
• 3.  Custodial fathers also experience financial loss; although they tend to recover financially more quickly and rarely receive child support.
• 4.  Loss of income may lead to increased work time for parents, as well as a change in residence.
• a. In 2009, children living with a divorced parent were more likely to live in a household below the poverty level (28%) compared with other children (19%) ( U.S. Census Bureau 2011 ).
• a. Approximately 32.2 percent of people in single-mother families in poverty during the first two months of 2009 continued to be in poverty for 36 months. In contrast, only 18.7 percent of people in married-couple families in poverty during this same time remained in poverty for 36 months.
• a. The fraction of children living in single-parent households is the strongest negative correlate of upward income mobility according to one study ( Chetty et al. 2014 ).
• b. The percentage of married families in a community also contributes to future upward economic mobility of all children in the community ( Chetty et al. 2014 ).

The child may lose emotional security ( Amato and Afifi 2006 )

• a. Divorced mothers are less able to provide emotional support ( Miller and Davis 1997 ).
• a. Divorced fathers spend less time with their children.
• b. A study in 1996 found that fewer than half of children living with a divorced mother had seen their fathers at all in more than one year, and only one in six saw their fathers once a week ( Popenoe 1996 , as quoted in Fagan and Churchill 2012 , 6).
• c. Divorced fathers are rated as less caring by their adolescents ( Dunlop, Burns, and Bermingham 2001 ).
• d. The child may find it more difficult to trust his/her father ( King 2002 ).
• 3.  The child may have a weakened relationship with grandparents or relatives—especially the parents of the noncustodial parent ( Kruk and Hall 1995 ).
• 4.  The child may lose family traditions, celebrations, and daily routines. Even adult children whose adult parents divorced later in life experienced the loss of family traditions and disruption of celebrations ( Pett, Lang, and Gander 1992 ).
• 5.  The change in residence may lead to loss of friends, school environment, and other support systems.

The child may have decreased social and psychological maturation

• 1.  College students whose parents were divorced were more likely to experience verbal aggression and violence from their partner during conflict resolution ( Billingham and Notebaert 1993 ).
• 2.  Children of divorced parents may have lower scores on self-concept and social relations ( Amato 2001 ).
• 3.  Anxiety and depression seem to worsen after the divorce event ( Strohschein 2005 ).

The child may change his or her outlook on sexual behavior

• 1.  There is increased approval (by children of divorced parents) of premarital sex, cohabitation, and divorce ( Jeynes 2001 ).
• 2.  There is earlier sexual debut ( Jónsson et al. 2000 ).
• 3.  Girls whose fathers left the home before they were five years old were eight times more likely to become pregnant as adolescents than girls from intact families ( Ellis et al. 2003 ).
• 4.  Boys similarly have earlier sexual debut and higher rates of sexually transmitted disease when they have experienced divorce in their family.
• 5.  As adults, the female children of divorced parents experience less trust and satisfaction in romantic relationships ( Jacquet and Surra 2001 ).
• 6.  The children of divorced parents are less likely to view marriage as permanent and less likely to view it as a lifelong commitment ( Weigel 2007 ).
• 7.  The children of divorced parents are two to three times more likely to cohabit and to do so at younger ages (Amato and Booth 1997, 112, as quoted in Fagan and Churchill 2012, 26).

The child may lose his/her religious faith and practice ( Myers 1996 )

• 1.  Following a divorce, children are more likely to abandon their faith ( Feigelman, Gorman, and Varacalli 1992 ).
• 2.  As adults, those raised in step-families are less likely to be religious than those raised by both biologic parents ( Myers 1996 ).
• 3.  Since religious practice has benefits in areas such as sexual restraint, the child of divorce may lose this protection ( Rostosky, Regnerus, and Wright 2003 ).

The child may lose cognitive and academic stimulation

• 1.  Children in divorced homes have less language stimulation.
• 2.  Children of divorced parents are more likely to have lower grade point averages (GPAs) and be asked to repeat a year of school ( Jeynes 2000 ).
• 3.  A study of eleven industrialized countries showed that children living in two-parent families had higher math and science scores ( Jeynes 2000 ).
• 4.  Children in single-mother families were twice as likely to have been absent from school for eleven or more days in the past year due to illness or injury (6%) compared with children in two-parent families (3%) ( Pong, Dronkers, and ampden-Thompson 2003 ).
• 5.  Children of married parents attained higher income levels as adults.

The child may be less physically healthy

• a. Emergency room usage is higher for children in all other family types over that experienced by children in nuclear families (Family Structure and Children's Health in the United States 2010).
• b. Children in nuclear families were less likely than children in other family types to have a learning disability or attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder regardless of parents' education, income, or area of residence (Family Structure and Children's Health in the United States 2010).
• 2.  Children living with married parents are less likely to be abused or neglected. In one study, the relative risk that children from a single-parent family would be physically abused or neglected more than doubled (Family Structure and Children's Health in the United States 2010).

The child may have a higher risk of emotional distress

• 1.  A study of almost one million children in Sweden demonstrated that children growing up with single parents were more than twice as likely to experience a serious psychiatric disorder, commit or attempt suicide, or develop an alcohol addiction ( Brown et al. 1998 ).
• 2.  Children of single parents are twice as likely to have emotional and behavioral problems—8 percent versus 4 percent for children from two parent households ( Kelleher et al. 2000 ; Ringsback-Weitoft et al. 2003 ).
• 3.  The CDC reported on adverse family experiences among children in nonparental care. The study found, “Children living with one biological parent were between 3 and 8 times as likely as children living with two biological parents to have experienced neighborhood violence, caregiver violence, or caregiver incarceration or to have lived with a caregiver with mental illness or an alcohol or drug problem” ( Bramlett and Radel 2014 ).

Effects of Divorce on Parents

Parents who divorce also experience adverse effects on their physical, emotional, and financial well-being, which may also in turn affect their children.

Married (male/female) people are more likely to have better physical health

• 1.  Married people smoke and drink less ( ChildStats.gov 2013 ).
• 2.  Married men are less likely to commit suicide than men who are divorced or separated ( Schoenborn 2004 ).
• 3.  Married individuals have the lowest incidence of diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease ( Kposowa 2000 ).
• 4.  Married men are more likely to live longer after a diagnosis of cancer, especially prostate cancer ( Pienta 2000 ).
• a. In the Framingham Offspring Study, married men had a 46 percent lower rate of dying from cardiovascular disease than unmarried men ( Goodwin et al. 1987 ).

Married (male/female) people are more likely to have higher incomes

• 1.  Individuals who are married have greater wealth.
• 2.  The longer they stay married, the greater the wealth accumulation ( Marriage and Men's Health 2010 ).
• 3.  Men especially benefit, as married men earn 22 percent more than single men ( Waite and Gallagher 2000 , 97–123).
• 4.  Women who experience divorce face a 27 percent decrease in their standard of living ( Stratton 2002 ).

Married women are more likely to be physically safer than divorced or separated women

• 1.  Married and widowed women experienced less intimate partner violence than divorced or separated women. 1

Married individuals are more likely to be involved in their community

• 1.  Married people have more civic responsibility, are more likely to volunteer in service projects, and are more likely to be involved in schools and churches ( National Crime Victimization Survey 2012 ).

Divorce may have adverse long-term emotional effects for parents

• 1.  In Wallerstein's long-term study, half of the women and one-third of the men were still very angry with their former spouses ( Keyes 2002 ).
• 2.  One-third of the women and one-fourth of the men felt that life was unfair and disappointing ( Wallerstein and Blakeslee 2004 ).
• 3.  In only 10 percent of divorces did both partners feel they achieved happier lives ( Wallerstein and Blakeslee 2004 , 29).
• 4.  One-fourth of the older divorced men remained isolated and lonely ( Wallerstein and Blakeslee 2004 , 40).

One study demonstrated that those who were unhappy in their marriage when first surveyed, but remained married, were likely to have an improved relationship and be happier five years later than those who divorced ( Wallerstein and Blakeslee 2004 , 45).

Effects of Divorce on Society

Divorce adversely affects society by

• 1.  Diminishing the child's future competence.
• 2.  Weakening the family structure.
• 3.  Contributing to early sexual experimentation leading to increased costs for society.
• 4.  Adversely affecting religious practice—divorce diminishes the frequency of religious worship.
• 5.  Diminishing a child's learning capacity and educational attainment.
• 6.  Reducing the household income.
• 7.  Increasing crime rates and substance use, with associated societal and governmental costs ( Waite and Gallagher 2000 ).
• 8.  Increasing risk for school suspensions, “Persons in Need of Supervision” status, binge drinking, and marijuana use ( Demuth and Brown 2004 ; Eckenrode, Mrcynyszyn, and Evans 2008 ; Osborne, Manning, and Stock 2007 ).
• 9.  Increasing emotional and mental health risks, including suicide.

Studies have attempted to estimate the financial cost of divorce to the United States, with most recent estimates reaching $33.3 billion per year, and with adolescent pregnancy costing at least $7 billion ( Schramm 2003 ).

There are clearly negative long-term consequences of divorce—children, parents, and society all suffer. Wallerstein's long-term study shows that many children never have full “recovery” as each special event, holiday, or celebration reminds the child of his/her loss. Given these tremendous costs borne by all individuals affected by divorce, as well as the costs to society, it is the responsibility of physicians—especially pediatricians, who care for children in the context of their families—to advocate for public health policies that promote marriage and decrease the likelihood of divorce.

Acknowledgements

The American College of Pediatricians is a national organization of pediatricians and other healthcare professionals dedicated to the health and well-being of children. Formed in 2002, the College is committed to fulfilling its mission by producing sound policy, based on the best available research, to assist parents and to influence society in the endeavor of child rearing. Membership is open to qualifying healthcare professionals who share the College's Mission, Vision and Values. The home office is in Gainesville, Florida, the website is http://www.acpeds.org and the office telephone number is 888-376-1877.

Dr. Jane Anderson is a Clinical Professor of Pediatrics at the University of California, San Francisco, where she practiced for 33 years until her retirement in November, 2012. She continues there as a volunteer faculty member. She has authored numerous articles on general pediatric topics, has presented lectures on adolescent brain development and parenting in both the US and China, and has received teaching awards from medical students and pediatric residents, including the 2014 Volunteer Faculty Teaching Award from the pediatric residents at the University of California, San Francisco. Dr. Anderson provided testimony on behalf of Alaska’s parental notification law demonstrating in her testimony that parental notification is in the best interest of adolescents, and the judge upheld the law.

She has been married to her husband, Karl, for 39 years, and has four children. She participates annually in short-term medical missions trips with Medical Servants International, and is on the Board of Directors of the National Physician Center. She has been a member of the American College of Pediatricians since 2002 and currently serves on its Board.

1 Stroup and Pollock (1994) and Peterson (1996) . Peterson's data showed a 30% income decrease for women, but a 10% increase for men.

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Council on Contemporary Families

The Impact of Divorce on Children’s Behavior Problems

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This paper summarizes the argument and findings of a longer and more technical paper that won the 2007 Graduate Student Paper Award in Social Demography from the Section on Population of the American Sociological Association.

Many research studies have shown that, on average, children of divorce have more behavior problems than children growing up in two-parent families. Divorces are sensitive situations so those that are going through it may want to use the services of someone like a chicago divorce lawyer to help them through this difficult process. It’s a good idea to involve a lawyer as things might get a little heated and this can have a huge effect on your family. There are loads of lawyers out there that you can use, so you just have to find the right one for you. This might mean that you use someone like this Russel Family Law firm, or you might use someone else. All that matters is that things run as smoothly as possible. But the question for social scientists is whether the problems seen in the children of divorced parents were caused by the divorce, or whether something else caused BOTH the divorce and the children’s problems.

Researchers wonder, in particular, whether some couples have personal characteristics and/or parenting patterns that increase the chance that their children will have behavior problems AND ALSO increase the chance that the couple will be unable to resolve marital issues. If this “something else” causes both divorce and behavior problems, then it is likely that that children would still have had problems even if their parents had somehow managed to remain married. Divorce can be difficult for children as it is a sensitive situation, so working with a law firm similar to the ones found at PETERSMAY.COM may give you the support needed to get through such a difficult time.

How do we look for that “something else”? We know that it is a mistake to compare children of divorced parents with children of continuously-married parents without taking into account differences between divorcing families and continuously married families PRIOR to the marital disruption. Parents who are more likely to divorce may also be more likely to be impoverished, to live in disadvantaged neighborhoods, to be less educated, to have been raised in divorced families themselves, or to have more children than average. These factors may impair a child’s well-being whether the parents stay together or not, but also be more likely to produce a marital disruption.

To test the effect of pre-existing family characteristics versus the effect of divorce itself, prior studies have used statistical analysis to “control” for the differences we can see between divorced and continuously-married families prior to the disruption. This is done by taking into account the socioeconomic status of the parents, their race or ethnicity, and other “variables” that can be determined by having respondents fill out a paper or computerized questionnaire. Some studies also take into account prior differences in child well-being between the two types of families prior to the disruption. The old consensus is that taking these pre-existing factors into account helps explain some of the association between parental divorce and children’s behavior problems – but not all. It reduces the average difference between the two groups but still leaves some average deficits for children of divorce, deficits that are not explained by controlling for these observed differences.

But what about the unique characteristics of each family that we do not as yet have the tools to measure? Things such as personality, parenting strategies, and detailed aspects of a person’s biography all affect children, but researchers haven’t been able to measure many of these constructs, far less to include them in large-scale studies. Therefore many studies end up comparing apples and oranges. The proper test of the impact of divorce on children is not to compare the children of divorced parents to the children of continuously-married families, and thus risk ignoring all the unobservable factors that may lead both to greater behavioral problems and to higher chances of divorce. It works better to compare the behavior problems of the same child before and after divorce. So, traditional methods often do not adequately estimate the impact on children of being in a family that is headed for divorce.

Several recent studies, including one of my own, which use more advanced and sophisticated research methods, present a powerful challenge to the old consensus that the average impact of divorce on children is negative. These studies are able to eliminate the impact of both “observable” and “unobservable” family differences that result in variations in child outcome, independent of divorce, and this provides a more accurate estimate of the “true” impact of divorce.

All these new studies have discovered the same thing: The average impact of divorce in society at large is to neither increase nor decrease the behavior problems of children. These studies suggest that divorce, in and of itself, is not the cause of the elevated behavior problems we see in children of divorce. They include Aughinbaugh, Pierret, and Rothstein (2005), Foster and Kalil (2007), and Li (2007).

While previous studies have compared the outcomes of children whose parents divorced to those of children whose parents remained together, I use a longitudinal study that measures changes in the behavior of children whose parents were not divorced at the beginning of the study but who divorced later. This allows me to investigate the counterfactual question, “What would have happened to the children’s behavior if their parents had remained married?” For an example of how this method works, and why other methods tend to over-estimate the impact of divorce on children’s behavior problems, see the Appendix at the end of this report.

The data I used included all children born to a national representative sample of American women born between 1958 and 1965. These same women had been surveyed repeatedly since 1979, and their children had been surveyed since 1988. Forty-seven percent of these mothers in my sample had been divorced by 2002. I used a 28-item checklist to measure behavior problems for children between 4 and 15 years of age. Mothers in each of the biennial survey filled out a questionnaire about whether their child engaged in behaviors such as cheating, deliberately breaking things, crying or arguing frequently and so forth. The mother of an average boy reported 8.7 items and the mother of an average girl reported 7.8 items that are often or sometimes true.

My study included a national sample of 6,332 children. It revealed that the estimated effect of a parental divorce on children’s behavior problems is so small that fewer than half of the divorced mothers would observe a one-item increase in the 28-item BPI checklist of their child. This is not a statistically significant effect.

Why would I get this result when other carefully-constructed studies, which controlled for observed differences, found larger, and statistically significant effects of divorce? The kind of observed differences that show up in surveys may fail to catch subtle differences between families that eventually divorce and those who do not. For example, certain aspects of child temperament and behavior are associated with parental personality traits that may be hereditary. If a child has parents with difficult temperaments and divorce-prone personality traits, the child will likely exhibit greater behavior problems whether or not the parents divorce, but the child will also be exposed to a higher risk of parental divorce. Or take the fact that the resources parents are able and willing to provide for their children may vary dramatically across marriages and across divorces. If so, there may be “good” parents and “bad” parents, as well as “good” spouses and “bad” spouses. It is plausible that a “bad” spouse may well have been a “bad” parent prior to marital disruption (and may, thus, have been a factor in causing the disruption).

Disengaged or unloving parents are detrimental for children’s emotional well-being and behavior. The lack of love on the part of one or both parents may increase the chance that the parents will divorce, but it may also create behavior problems in children whether or not their parents divorce. If so, we should not attribute the worse behavior of their children to the divorce itself, but to the impact of the unloving parent or parents. The point is that “bad” marriages are more likely to harm children’s well-being than good ones AND more likely to lead to divorce, and a marriage can be “bad” in many unobserved ways.

I am not saying that divorce doesn’t increase the behavior problems of some children, because I have focused only on the “average effect of divorce for the divorced.” It is possible that the dissolution of some marriages decreases some children’s behavior problems and the dissolution of others increases children’s behavior problems, so that they cancel each other out, creating the zero effect that I found when I totaled the average effect of divorce. However, for this to be true, one must admit that while certain divorces harm children, others benefit them. My findings contradict the widely-accepted claim that MOST divorces increase children’s behavior problems and that only a tiny minority of divorces do NOT.

It should be noted that my findings are only relevant to the kind of marriages where parents have qualities that make them likely to divorce. They should not be interpreted to imply that breaking up a randomly selected marriage in society would not lead to increased behavior problems for the children. But these findings do imply that to help children of divorce, social scientists and policy-makers should seek to understand and intervene in the processes both before and after a marriage comes apart, rather than seeking to simply prevent the divorce from occurring.

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The Council on Contemporary Families is a non-profit, non-partisan organization dedicated to providing the press and public with the latest research and best-practice findings about American families. Our members include demographers, economists, family therapists, historians, political scientists, psychologists, social workers, sociologists, as well as other family social scientists and practitioners.

Founded in 1996 and now based in the School of Education and Human Development at the University of Miami, the Council’s mission is to enhance the national understanding of how and why contemporary families are changing, what needs and challenges they face, and how these needs can best be met. To fulfill that mission, the Council holds annual conferences, open to the public, and issues periodic briefing papers and fact sheets.

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Effects of Divorce on Children Essay

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Negative Effects of Divorce on Children: Essay Introduction

The effect of divorce on child: essay body, conclusion about divorce, reference list.

Want to know about the negative effects of divorce on children? Essay sample below is what you need! Learn here about the causes and bad consequences of divorce on children’s future family life. Whether you need ideas, inspiration, or an example of a conclusion for divorce essay, you will find it here.

Divorce is the act of dissolving or terminating a marriage between two people before the death of one partner thus rendering the marriage null and void. Divorce frees one of legal responsibilities and duties that he/she was previously bound to by the union of marriage. It also frees one of marriage with another person. Divorce in the society happens for different reasons depending on the individual cases.

Different authorities that have a legal authority to allow the dissolution of the marriage (Isle, 2012, Para. 4) carry out the process. These authorities might be religious, government arms, or traditional settings depending on the laws of marriage to which the partners subscribed. As the paper reveals, regardless of the reason behind any divorce case, the children of the divorced parents feel a remarkable effect.

The effects that children have after a divorce may be psychological, social, and or emotional because each divorce case tends to be unique in its own way though divorces can be grouped into different broad categories: at fault divorce, no fault divorce, summary divorce, uncontested divorce, collaborative divorce, and mediated divorce.

Specific reasons that might come under the above broad groups may include unfaithfulness in marriage, lack of commitment in marriage by one or both partners, irreconcilable differences, abusive marriage, distance, and a partner developing interest in getting married to a different person (Amato, 2003, p. 605).

At the end of the day, divorce has its own effects towards the divorcing couples and the people around them especially their families and children.

When a divorce happens to a couple who have children, it stops being an issue concerning two people only. It becomes an issue concerning them and their children because, in society, children’s interest and wellbeing are paramount and hence a responsibility of any person with a legal age.

When a divorce happens between a married couple with children, the interest of the children have to be secured as provided for by the law so that they do not end up suffering as a consequence of the divorce.

Though the wellbeing of children seem secured, in case of a divorce, children tend to be affected in different ways both negatively and positively because it always has psychological effects on them. The extent of the impact of a break up on a kid will at times relate with the age of the kids at the time of the separation.

For instance, though a toddler may not comprehend the issues going on then, they tend to sense it within their parents, “as their parents’ energy levels and mood tend to shift” (Douglas, 2005, p.49). This leads to the infants’ reaction in different ways based on their instincts that may be observed. There might be a change in the sleeping patterns of the baby as well as their eating habits.

The baby might become so fussy with lots of mood swings, which were unusual to the baby before. Regression can also be viewed in the baby with the baby unlearning the skills it had acquired before. Either the baby may become slow in gaining weight, cutting the gained weight, or stagnating. The baby may also be slow in development (Douglas, 2005, p.50).

For the best welfare of the child, the parents should try as much as possible to maintain the previous routine between them and the child so as not to upset the balance in the child’s life.

Divorce happening to parents with pre-school children tends to affect the children in such a way that they will always feel it as if it their mistake led to their parents’ moving apart. This leads to their feeling insecure by always wanting to be around an adult and not wanting to be left alone.

They have the fear that they might be abandoned. They develop a friendly nature. They also tend to become angered by small things, which can be attributed to mood swings. In some instances, kids who had stopped wetting beds will start again (Temke, 2006, p. 2). All these are psychological, and are often due to their searching for the answer as to why daddy no longer lives with mummy.

A divorce occurring when a child is an adolescent or a teen usually leaves him/her with lots of mental torture. The teenagers in this case feel embarrassed at the prospect of belonging to a broken family because societal norms advocate for a complete continuous family. This makes them frustrated and angry thus making them resort to activities that would give them solace.

Some might indulge in drugs while others might indulge actively in sports as a way of ventilating their frustrations to release some pent up energies. Teens tend to be affected a lot because they understand the reasons for their parents’ divorce. This is worse off because they are so helpless to stop the divorce thus ending up frustrated. Divorce comes with divisions in the family.

At times, they are forced to lay blame on one party whom they believe is the cause of the divorce (Elizabeth, 2006, p. 19). This leads to their division as to which side they should take. At the same time, it also comes with new responsibilities for teenagers who might be forced to cope with the different changes happening in their lives on their own on issues like sexual feelings.

The teenagers might also grow up to dislike the institution of marriage by growing doubts on whether they will ever want to get married or whether they could stay in a marriage. A good example of a divorce victim is the musician Enrique Iglesias who feels that there is no point of getting married because, at some point, the marriage might break up. Enrique’s dad had so many marriages, which kept on breaking up.

This informed his decision not to get married. In general, divorce might have lifelong effects to children when it happens as they witness it. Children who grow up in a divorced marriage tend to develop manipulative behaviors. This case happens when there is competition between the two parents when one wants the children to see him/her as being better than the other.

They will therefore shower their kids with favors as a way of winning them over. The moment the kids come to discover what their parents are up to, they will start making demands besides playing the parents against each other. At the back of their minds, they have the knowledge that one parent will definitely give them what the other has refused to give.

This might go on into their adult lives thus giving them undesirable characters. Children growing up in a divorced family might not have a lot of respect for the institution of marriage. They would easily walk out of a marriage in the future with the belief that, after all, their parents’ marriage did not work.

The psychological impact that always afflicts children when they have to attend court sessions to hear out the differences between their parents can be great (Chase, 2010, p.211). This leads to lose of self-esteem in children because they will always be embarrassed by the courtroom drama and the prospect of the news becoming public among their peers.

In many cases, children wish that they were not there to face the situation thus preferring to move away from the area they are staying to a new place where people do not know about their skeletons in the closet.

The children would also ask that they change schools and their complete social setting just to run away from what has happened to their parents. Some children would always wish that their parents got back together. They would do everything in their power to push or convince their parents to come back together.

In conclusion, divorce affects children in the family psychologically and in a negative way. It is in very few instances that one would find a child who was not negatively affected even though it was the only thing that would guarantee them peace and survival. There is always that thought in the children that things should have worked out differently.

Therefore, to save the children on the effects of divorce, there is the need for parents to cultivate some good relations by nurturing everything that strengthens their love bond besides involving their children in matters that convince them positively that marriage is the best institution that every person ought to join when time comes.

Amato, P. (2003). People’s Reasons for divorcing. Journal of Family issues, 24 (5), 602- 626.

Chase, K. (2010). Dicken and the Rise of Divorce: The Failed Marriage Plot and the Novel Tradition. Victorian Institute Journal, 38 (1), 211-214.

Douglas, L. (2005). The Binuclear Family Boom. Library Journal, 130 (14), 49-50.

Elizabeth, M. (2006). No Good Divorce. Christian Century, 123 (3), 18-23.

Isle, I. (2012). Legal Separation Grounds for Divorce: The Legal Process. Retrieved from http://www.divorceaid.co.uk/legal/process.htm

Temke, M. (2006). The Effect of Divorce On Children, Family & Consumer Resources. Hampshire: University of Hampshire Cooperative Extension.

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Understanding The Effects Of Divorce On Children

Going through a divorce can take a toll on a family, especially when there are children involved. As parents learn how to adjust to life without their spouse, they must also find ways to support their kids through a tough transition. A child whose parents split up may be affected in several different ways, and these impacts can vary depending on the child’s age, the circumstances surrounding the divorce, and how much support they have through the process. The effects on a child's behavior may be unpredictable and the negative effects of divorce on children can extend well beyond the initial emotional reactions of sadness, anger, and resentment. If you're going through a divorce, it can be important to understand how divorce may affect your children and learn ways to effectively support them.

How divorce affects children

Divorce can impact each child in a different way. While some kids may accept the separation with empathy and understanding, others might be too young to grasp what’s going on and experience negative consequences as a result. These negative effects can create problems in a child’s educational journey, relationships, and mental health. If these problems are left unaddressed, they can persist into adulthood and continue to affect the individual in a multitude of areas.

Common issues experienced by children who have gone through a parental divorce could include

Poor academic performance.

Children in school, no matter their age, may see a  decline in their academic performance . Their grades may slip, and they might refrain from participating in recreational or after-school sports or activities because they are distracted by their life at home. This could cause them to miss out on social interaction and formative friendships since they may not be as involved with their peers as they could be if they were not going through so much. 

Difficulties adapting to change

Children of divorce may find it difficult to adapt to the transition. During a divorce, a child may have to learn how to adapt to a new family unit, a new living situation, different schools, and new friends, among other things. This can be incredibly overwhelming for a child, and they may be resistant to these changes.

Loss of interest

Research  shows that divorce may impact children socially. Kids may have more difficulty relating to other children whose parents aren't divorced, and they may feel like no one understands what they are going through. This can leave them feeling isolated and could cause them to further withdraw from their friends and family members. They may no longer desire to hang out with their friends, opting to be alone in the house instead. In some cases, this could signal a more serious issue, like depression. 

Emotional issues

When a child’s parents divorce, they may experience a wide range of intense emotions during the grieving process. Feelings of anger, confusion, guilt, sadness, or anxiety may cause a child to feel overwhelmed and potentially unsure of how to manage their feelings. It can be important for children to have someone they trust to talk about what they are feeling and learn healthy ways to process and cope with these emotions. When children aren’t able to express how they feel, it could delay their healing process and create lasting impacts into adulthood. 

How to make the transition easier

Children may face many difficulties when their parents get a divorce. However, there are steps parents can take to help their children cope with the transition.

These could include the following

Don't keep secrets.

It can be important to avoid keeping secrets from your children. Rather than waiting until the last minute to tell them about the divorce, bring the subject up well ahead of time. This can give them time to adjust to the transition slowly which may help ease any negative effects of the separation.

Don't overshare

While it can be crucial not to keep secrets from your children, there is a balance you can strive to maintain. Take care not to tell them too much about the divorce or give them unnecessary information. It could be harmful if you give them information that portrays one parent in a negative light.

Tell them it's not their fault

Children often feel guilty and may believe the divorce is their fault. Ensure your children the divorce is not because of them or anything they did. 

Admit it's difficult

Divorce is often a difficult transition, and there’s no shame in admitting this. Encourage your children to feel their emotions fully and express themselves as they need to. Ensure them that what they’re feeling is normal and valid and that it’s okay if they’re sad, angry, or anything else. 

Tell your children you love them

Let your children know that both you and your partner love them and will always be there to support them regardless of what happens to the family dynamic.

Talk to them

Your children are likely experiencing many different emotions and may have difficulty coping with them. It can be vital to be a source of support to your child and a safe place they can go to for help.

If your child or children are having a challenging time accepting or coping with the divorce, it may be beneficial to seek support from a licensed professional. A child therapist can work with your child to get them to open up about their feelings and process them in a healthy, productive way. Therapy can be a powerful tool for preventing problems associated with the effects of divorce on children from carrying into adulthood. 

Online counseling with Regain

If you're experiencing a divorce, you may encounter a wide range of emotions throughout the process. It may be difficult to adapt to the new family dynamic, and your children may need support as they get used to the changes. While you may feel alone without the support of your spouse during this time, it can be important to remember that support and help are available any time you need it. A licensed therapist can help ease the effects of divorce on mental health, not only for you but for your entire family.  Regain  is an online counseling platform that can connect you with a licensed family therapist right from your home. They may be able to provide you with the tools you need to make the whole process as comforting as possible for you and your children. While this time in your life may be busy as you take on extra responsibilities by yourself, online counseling can allow you and your children to still get the support you need. 

The effectiveness of online counseling 

Research has shown how divorce can have a variety of harmful emotional and psychological effects. Online counseling often seeks to negate these consequences, and one study showed that it did just that. In a one-year study of an online intervention for recent divorcees, researchers found that the program significantly reduced anxious, depressive, and somatization symptoms and that the magnitude of these effects was large in effect size . In a one-year follow-up, symptom levels of all 3 outcomes were found to be close to the population norms for participants in the intervention group but still elevated for those in the control group. These findings suggest that “online intervention platforms may be effective in reducing adverse mental health related effects of divorce and thereby offer long-term human and public health benefits.”

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"Lisheyna is an amazing person with really beautiful insights. I struggled with my separation, and she helped me regain new insights, which helped me become friends with my ex-wife again and understand her perspective. I am grateful to Lisheyna for her support and would highly recommend her to anyone seeking any personal or relationship counseling."

Going through a divorce may be difficult for the entire family. However, it may be possible to overcome the negative effects of divorce on children and adults. If you're experiencing a divorce, it may be beneficial to seek support from a professional, such as a therapist. They can provide you with tools and coping mechanisms to help you and your children get through any challenges you may be facing. Working with a Regain therapist, you can grow mentally healthier and stronger, which may improve your family dynamic and make the transition of divorce easier to cope with for you and your children.

Frequently asked questions (FAQs)

What is the impact of divorce on a child?

Divorce can impact children differently depending on a variety of factors. The circumstances surrounding the divorce, the amount of support available, and the type of environment created by the divorce can all affect how a child handles their parent’s separation. Children may experience emotions in a heightened state, trouble in school, and feel like their world is being completely torn apart. They might also feel abandoned by one or both parents. However, with the proper support, respect for one’s ex-spouse, and time, children from divorced parents can lead happy and fulfilling childhoods and lives. 

How badly does divorce hurt the child?

Divorce may affect each child differently . When young children experience their parent's divorce, they may begin to feel guilty about it, believing the divorce was because of them. These negative thinking patterns can damage their self-esteem and create abandonment issues. Divorce may make children vulnerable to emotional or mental health issues. When parents decide to divorce, it can be important for them to invest in their child's emotional needs and to help them cope with the adjustment.

At what age does divorce impact a child?

Divorce can impact a child regardless of their age. However, younger children from divorced families may be particularly vulnerable. Children who are older or in their teens might be more in tune with the impending situation and may be more aware of the tension that exists within the household. They may have already developed coping mechanisms to help them adjust to the new family dynamic. The negative effects of divorce on children can be managed with the right tools. Family or individual therapy can be an effective tool and source of support for families who have experienced a divorce. Sessions with a licensed professional may help children understand and cope with their parent's divorce.

What are the five stages of a divorce?

When a divorce occurs, a marriage is lost; therefore, the stages of a divorce may feel much like the grieving process. These stages can include:

• Denial - This stage often occurs before the actual divorce has been decided. One or both partners may be in denial because there are issues within their relationship that they may not be able to reconcile.
• Anger - When a partner feels rejected, unheard, hurt, or failed in their marriage, they may experience intense anger. Remember that anger is a normal emotion, but there are ways to cope with these intense feelings that may be healthier than others.
• Bargaining - This stage of divorce may be internal or external. A partner may bargain internally, feeling guilty as they could have done things differently to fix the marriage. When the bargaining is external, a partner may ask the other for another chance and promise to change.
• Depression - After the first three stages, a partner may realize that their divorce is over, and they may feel incredibly sad and lose interest in the world around them. This may be one of the most difficult stages of divorce. If you're experiencing symptoms of depression during a divorce, it may be helpful to seek support from a professional to help you find healthy ways to cope.
• Acceptance - During the acceptance stage of divorce, a partner may feel more uplifting emotions and may even feel excited for the new chapter of their life. They have come to terms with the divorce and understand why it may have been the right choice.

Children experiencing a parental divorce may go through a similar grieving process and may need support to heal.

How does divorce affect a child's mental health?

When a child’s parents divorce, they may face challenges getting used to the transition or the new family dynamic. They may feel confused and experience difficulties with accepting their parents' decision to divorce. It can be especially challenging for children if a breach of trust is involved in the situation or if their parents have turned against each other.

Divorce can sometimes cause immense tension within a household, affecting a child's mental health and well-being. However, every child manages divorce differently. Some of the negative effects may include poor performance in school, a loss of interest in activities, difficulties adapting to change, anger or irritability, and feelings of guilt, among other concerns.

What are the effects of divorce on parents?

Divorce can be a difficult process, especially for the parents involved. It may be difficult for some parents to divide custody and spend less time with their children. Parents may find it challenging to manage the new family dynamic, or they may harbor resentment toward their ex-spouse, creating issues within the family. The divorce may cause one or both parents to develop emotional distress or mental health concerns, making it more challenging to keep it together in front of the children and carry out parental responsibilities.

What year of marriage is most common for divorce?

Studies show that most marriages end within years 1-2 and 5-8. Many relationships that make it past this point have developed healthy communication skills to establish a strong long-term connection and know how to work through problems that come their way. If you're beginning to feel like your relationship is facing difficulties, it may be helpful to seek the help of a relationship therapist for support.

Who gets the house in a divorce with children?

Who gets the house in a divorce can depend, regardless of whether children are involved or not. Often, this is decided by the two individuals divorcing. Some people decide to sell the property and divide the sale money evenly; others may opt to leave the house independently and allow the spouse to keep it. Throughout the divorce process, both spouses are entitled to remain in the household, and it depends on each couple's situation on who is entitled to property that is jointly owned.

Parents who can settle the distribution of their assets through mediation and outside of a courtroom will often find that the process is less jarring for the entire family. One of the most effective ways to avoid a long, troublesome process is to do your best to make arrangements together. This may still require some professional help, but it can be done respectfully. Don't hesitate to look into therapy before, during, and after a divorce. Healing from big changes such as this one is something that can be done. It sometimes just takes a little guidance.

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Effects of Divorce on Child Development

Divorce is a harrowing experience for a growing child. Breaking of marital bond affects every area of a child’s life. Children divided from one of their parents suffer trauma that affects their education, behavior, and mental health (Sondre et al., 2020). Divorce can also cause children to feel a lack of control over their lives, leading to helplessness and hopelessness. Divorce can profoundly affect the mental, behavioral, and educational development of children of all ages. It is essential to understand the potential impacts of divorce on a child’s development so that parents can support and guide their children. Studies have shown that divorce negatively affects a child’s development throughout the year. Therefore, this paper analyzes the effects of post-divorce on a child’s education, behavior, and mental health.

When parents divorce, children suffer trauma that disrupts their education life. With conflicts at home, children struggle to concentrate on their studies. Children may feel a sense of loss, confusion, and sadness, making paying attention difficult (Nusinovici et al., 2018). Divorce depresses a child’s autonomy, motivation, and manual aptitude, causing them to fall back academically. Children who relocate after their parents separated often become poor academically (Sondre et al., 2020). Educational achievement of children whose parents had a divorce unmotivated. Children may experience academic difficulties due to the stress and emotional upheaval caused by their parent’s separation. They may need help to concentrate or lose interest in school altogether. In some cases, children may miss school or experience a decline in their grades. Additionally, financial strain resulting from the divorce can limit a child’s access to resources and opportunities, making it harder to succeed academically.

Divorce is a life transition that stresses all family members. Children may experience intense sadness, anxiety, and anger and often display rowdy behavior such as acting out, aggression, and difficulty concentrating. Children may withdraw from social activities and isolate themselves from peers and friends. They may feel embarrassed or ashamed about their family situation. Children may also exhibit aggressive behavior towards siblings, peers, or adults due to the stress and anxiety caused by the divorce (Nusinovici et al., 2018). They may struggle to understand why their parents are separating and feel helpless, scared, or abandoned. Causes of this stress may result from financial instability and less time spent with one of the parents.Divorce diminishes a child’s future competence in all areas of life (Ross & Wynne, 2010). Children in divorce situations lack the feeling of satisfaction and hope.

Post-divorce marital conflict increases depressive symptoms among all family members. Children adopt a withdrawal behavior toward their family, causing loneliness, stress, and anxiety. Mostly father-child bonds tend to loosen after marriage breakups (Kalmijn, 2016).Research proves that most children live stressfully and with mental difficulties from anxiety and depression (Ross & Wynne, 2010). They may also feel guilty or responsible for the divorce. This can lead to depression, anxiety, and other emotional problems. Children of conflicting parents often have difficulty with impulse control and emotional regulation, which can lead to further behavioral issues. Depressed parents are emotionally unstable, hostile, and withdrawn. Children are often scolded and disregarded by their troubled parents leading to anxiety and depression among their offspring (Ross & Wynne, 2010).

Depending on various factors, divorce can have short-term and long-term effects on child development. Contextually, the child’s age, the quality of the parent’s relationship, and the conflict and stress surrounding the divorce. Divorce can sometimes remove children from high-conflict and stressful environments. A peaceful environment is crucial to a child’s overall well-being. Additionally, divorce can provide children with opportunities to develop resilience and coping skills as they learn to adapt to new situations and navigate changing family dynamics. However, research proves that divorce does more harm than good. Family separation due to conflict is unhealthy for all family members.

Finally, providing children with time to adjust to the changes is essential. Though divorce can be difficult for children, they can adapt successfully, given the proper support and guidance. By understanding the potential impacts of divorce on children’s development, parents can take steps to ensure that their children can cope with the changes and continue to grow and thrive. It is important to note that every child’s divorce experience differs, and not all children will exhibit these behavioral changes. Parents can support their children through divorce by providing emotional support, maintaining routines, and seeking professional help. With the proper support, children emerge from a divorce situation strong, resilient, and hopeful.

Gustavsen, G. W., Nayga, R. M., & Wu, X. (2016). Effects of parental divorce on teenage children’s risk behaviors: incidence and persistence.  Journal of Family and Economic Issues ,  37 (3), 474–487. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10834-015-9460-5

Kalmijn, M. (2016). Father-child contact, interparental conflict, and depressive symptoms among children of divorced parents. European Sociological Review, 32(1), 68–80. https://doi.org/10.1093/esr/jcv095

Nusinovici, S., Olliac, B., Flamant, C., Müller, J., Olivier, M., Rouger, V., Gascoin, G., Basset, H., Bouvard, C., Jean-Christophe Rozé, & Hanf, M. (2018). Impact of parental separation or divorce on school performance in preterm children: A population-based study.  PLoS One, 13 (9) https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0202080

Ross, L. T., & Wynne, S. (2010). Parental depression and divorce and adult children’s well-being: the role of family unpredictability. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 19(6), 757–761.

Sondre, A. N., Breivik, K., Wold, B., Kristin Gärtner Askeland, Sivertsen, B., Hysing, M., & Bøe, T. (2020). Divorce and adolescent academic achievement: Heterogeneity in the associations by parental education.  PLoS One, 15 (3). https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0229183

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The Effects of Divorce on Children Essay Example

The effects of divorce can differ depending on many factors, among which the most important are the behavior of parents and the age and gender of children. It is  essential for children to maintain a contact with both of the parents afterwards. The absence or existence of such a contact usually depends on the relations, on their experience and education in the sphere of children’s psychology.

Married and Divorced Parents

Therefore, the assumption of the research paper is that those children, whose parents pay attention to children’s interests more than to those of their own, and stay cooperative regardless their separation, feel less negative impact from the divorce than those, who get a possibility to communicate with only one parent. The school children aged 13 to 18, who could communicate with both of their parents were compared to those, who were sensitized against the non-custodial parent, were interviewed for the following research. The following spheres of life were analyzed: sociability, intimate relations, educational achievements at school, parent-children relations.

According to the statistics more and more families suffer from divorces each year. Regardless the further behavior of the parents and their relations, for children this is loss of the family that they knew. Numerous research findings prove that divorce negatively affects children on both psychological and physiological levels. However, the scholars research the impact of divorce on psychological adjustment of children in majority of cases. Consequently, the psychologists have investigated the influence of divorce on relations with parents, quality of intimate relationships in future, achievements in various spheres, alcohol and drugs abuse etc. and have proved that the impact of divorce can become a long-term psychological trauma for children (e.g. Ahrons, 2007; Amato, 2001; Allison, 1989; Kruk, 2010; Moon, 2011; Mustonen, 2011; Velez et al., 2011). Therefore, it is necessary to discuss the situation from different points of view considering the attitude of the parents and reaction of juveniles  to it. These effects are closely interconnected; that is why both can help to find the way to avoid the possible negative consequences of divorce or at least minimize them.

Paying attention to the change of the children’s reaction depending on their age, it is necessary to emphasize the work of Demo (1988). For his research the children, who participated in the investigation, were divided into groups according to their age: infants, toddlers, 3-5 years old, 6-9 years old, 10-12 years old, 13-18 years old. Consequently, it was proved that the reaction of children on divorce can be different: they can feel sad, guilty, angry, anxious or even physically sick. Their gender and age are the factors, which contribute a lot to their reaction. For instance, the adolescents from 13 to 18 years create a group, where the reaction is usually filled with the feelings of anger, sadness, and anxiety (Demo, 1988). Since the period of adolescence is associated with growing up, formation of morality and experimentation, it is important that the parents are those, who show an example of the adult behavior. The rules and limits set by the family in this period are very important for the teenagers’ behavior and development. Consequently, lack of a parent can for different reasons make these rules unclear or changeable and cause moral or psychological health violations.

Children regard the divorce as a great change, which means the loss of a parent. Consequently, it is important for a child to keep contact with both parents. Gindes in his article proves the idea of both parents’ importance on the example of relocation of parents (Gindes, 1998). Divorce lowers children’s sense of security and stability; two closest people become not equally accessible to a child anymore.  Gindes (1998) states that after the divorce “the foundation of the child’s world is splintered”. Therefore, in his article he proves that for the proper further child’s development, it is necessary to have a strong positive relationship with both parents, who are not hostile, but amicable towards each other. The best possible after-divorce scenario includes regular communication with a non-residential parent and cooperation of mother and father. Gindes (1998) shows that relocation is important in the mobile society and to what the divorced parents should pay attention in case it is needed.

Another example presenting the importance of spending time with a non-custodial parent is provided in the article of Eymann et al (2009). The findings of this research acknowledge that the life of children from intact and divorce families differs and is influenced significantly by the child’s sex, time spent with non-residential parent, who is more often a father and the parents’ education. Since the participants of the research were mothers and children from divorced families, it showed that the time spent with fathers was significantly lower. At the same time the quality of family relations, social emotional functioning and behavior, self-esteem, mental health and behavior were significantly lower. Consequently, the above mentioned findings prove again that psychosocial quality of children’s life at school-age is significantly influenced by parent’s education and attitude towards their child’s interests.

The next  research based on the interview of 118 married and 114 divorced parents provided by Moon (2011) is also worth attention for in the given research paper and supports Eymann’s hypotheses. Moon (2011) proves that the behavior and experience of parents are of great importance by handling the divorce effects for children. Having analyzed the attitude of parents towards the influence of divorce on psychology of their children, Moon came to the conclusion that married parents believe that their divorce would have more negative effects on children than divorced parents do. Consequently, they pay more attention to their children’s interests and problems than to those of their own.

In order to lessen the negative effects of divorce, it is important to find out the reasons evoking them. Hence, Amato in his article (2001) presented an updated research of the impact of divorce on children in the 1990’s. His hypothesis was that the effects of divorce had lessened in the 1990’s, and some factors, which are responsible for that change, are as follows: sophistication of the studies in the sphere divorce; as it got easier to divorce, less troubled families were being included in the divorced population; more extensive interventions.

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Explaining the adjustment problems in adolescence between children of divorced and two-parent families Simons et al. (1999) emphasized such factors as parental conflict, family income, psychological adjustment of the custodial parent, practice of a custodial parent, as well as the non-custodial parent involvement. His research was based on the series of questionnaires defining parental factors, among which the following were marked: income, parenting practices, parents’ depression and conflict, and children’s adjustment problems. As a result, the findings showed a close connection between the children’s adjustment problems and the divorce of their parents. In the case of the boys’ conduct problems, the research showed a significant relationship with parenting practices, which were likely to be impaired because of the divorce. In the case of girls’ conduct problems, a parental conflict had a significant impact. Paying attention to children’s depression, it is necessary to mark out that according to Simon et al. (1999) the boys were not affected by the mediating variables. At the same time the girls’ depressive states were  influenced by the mothers’. Therefore, it is obvious that the divorce and the parental conflict have a significant negative impact on children’s behavior in the period of adolescence.

The impact on girls differs from that one on boys in long-term perspective. Mustonen et al (2011) in the article described how the parental divorce influenced the quality of intimate relationships and psychosocial resources in the future. The research was based on questionnaires of children from the divorced families at the age of 16 and later of 32 years. Consequently, the scholars concluded that men and women from the divorced families more often separated at the age of 32 than those from the intact families. However, the parental divorce affected daughters more than sons. Women, who suffered from the parental divorce in childhood, had poorer relations with their parents in adolescence. Moreover, they were characterized by lower self-esteem and social support satisfaction.  The gender divergence can be caused by the fact that after the divorce, in most cases, the mothers are the residential parents. Consequently, the daughters absorb their negative attitude towards marriage. Another possible reason is the difference in psychosocial resources. It such case, it is possible to state that men are less impressionable by the negative impact of parental divorce than women.

The next research, which proves the inappropriateness of bringing children into parental conflicts, was held by Ben-Amy (2012). The research was based on the survey of 118 individuals, whose well-being was analyzed according to 5 domains: self-sufficiency, alcohol abuse, depression, attachment, and self-esteem. Consequently, it was found out that the attempts of one parent to turn a child against another one caused lower self-sufficiency, lower self-esteem, a lack or low level of secure attachments, and more frequent lifetime depressions. The domain that, according to the provided research, was not influenced by parental post-divorce disputes was alcohol abuse. As a result, the psychological amicable atmosphere between two parents is obviously contributing much to the health of children.

Taking into consideration another point of view, not only children’s gender difference, but also the parents’ one is important in divorce studies. Therefore, it is important to regard not only the relations of parents between each other, but the attitude of fathers and mothers towards children. The mothers become the residential parents more often than the fathers. They usually  participate more in the children’s upbringing than fathers. Hence, the warm and positive relations with mothers have a positive impact on the  development. The research described in the article of Velez et al (2011) shows that child-mother relationship are connected with the processes and improves coping efficacy and active coping. Nevertheless, the relations with fathers are not less important. The assumption that fathers stay indifferent to the loss of relations with children or to the usual to them atmosphere is erroneous. For instance, Kruk in his article (2010) provided the experimental evidences that fathers’ psychological reaction to  a possible loss of child-father relations is quite strong.  As in most cases mothers become custodial parents after the divorce, fathers can feel lonely and depressed. The suicide rate after divorce among fathers is much higher than among mothers. The article also emphasized the psychological perspectives of father-child bonds, which determined their participation in child care (Kruk, 2010). The responsibilities are divided between both parents, and during the last decade the fathers have become more involved into it. Consequently, father’s influence to child’s sex-role, intellectual, moral development, achievements motivation, social competence is very essential.

The relations of the parents after the divorce, such as parents’ remarrying and cohabiting also have an impact on the further life of the children, not only right after the divorce, but also in the long-term perspective. Ahrons (2007) in his research of such influence interviewed the children twenty years after the divorce and has reported the evidences that children, whose parents were cooperative, had better relations with parents and other family members. This is an important fact for the future success in life and less negative emotions during the lifespan.

Indeed, the researches mentioned above provide numerous evidences that a family plays a great role in children’s psychological development on all levels. The divorce is a negative event, which destroys the friendly atmosphere between the parents and, therefore, influences the further child’s behavior. In order to prevent the negative consequences, which can result in deterioration on the level of  academic achievements, conduct, psychological adjustment, self-concept, and social relations, it is necessary to provide a child with necessary for them mother-child and father-child relations, which are obviously equally important. Therefore, even if divorce took place in the family the image of the parents, who stay happy, support friendly relations and discuss their children‘s problems, should become helpful to avoid the negative consequences of divorce.

In the current research children from the divorced families were interviewed, and the influence of parents’ relation on their behavior in the society, intimate relations, educational achievements, self-evaluation were researched. The participants were divided according to their parents’ post-divorce relations and gender. They were interviewed with the help of closed-ended questions, which indicated how the absence of communication with one of the parents influenced different spheres of their lives. Therefore, taking into consideration the previous researches of the divorce negative effects on children, it is necessary to investigate how they can be minimized. The findings show which sphere of children’s life is influenced more; and why parents should stay cooperative and amicable towards each other after the divorce.

Participants

In order to test the hypothesis that the post-divorce communication of parents has an impact on children’s psychological state, the age group of adolescents aged 13-18 was interviewed.  The children from the divorced families (10 persons, whose parents were cooperative and amicable, 10 persons, whose parents were struggling against each other, age range: 13-18) were found with the help of social networks and asked to participate in the research. The interview was anonymous, confidential, ethical, private, and the response rate was 100%. For testing of the second hypothesis that the gender of children is influential for the results, each stratum of 10 persons consisted of 5 male and 5 female representatives.

Research design

To gain the evidences of the influence of the parental conflicts or communication after the divorce on their children, and uncover the spheres of the strongest influence on children, a qualitative research based on the analysis of twenty interviews was held.

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Materials and Procedure

To collect data for the research, all the participants were provided with the same questionnaire lists of eight closed-ended questions, which investigated children’s mental state on the level of behavior in the society, educational achievements, intimate relations, child-parents relations. The list for the observatory groups included a total of eight questions, each of which had two possible answers defining high or low levels of the events or feelings accordingly. The sampling method chosen for the research was a probability stratified sampling method, which reduces sampling error. As it was mentioned above, the questions were closed-ended, aimed to compare the levels of intimate relations, child-parental relations, educational achievements, and confliction society position of the children of divorce, who were treated in different ways. The answers were sent through the e-mail and afterwards grouped according to 2 strata and analyzed according to 4 spheres of influence. Afterwards, as the previous researches of the scholars proved that there exists the difference between male and female reaction on the divorce (e.g. Allison, 1989; Simons, 1999; Velez, 2011; Kruk, 2010), it was necessary to compare the answers of the gender subgroups of both strata. The results of the research were depicted in the diagrams presented in attachment (see Figure 1, Figure 2, Figure 3).

According to the data analysis, the average age of all the participants was 14, 5 years. This age group is referred to as adolescents, and, in general, is characterized by high emotionality and the main norms and aims establishment, which is important to take into account for the further discussion. The calculations showed that regarding the behavior of the first stratum of the society, 90% of the participants were bent to conflicts and rarely took part in the social school life while the index for children from the second group was only 20%. The education achievements were average for both strata and got 8 and 7 points out of 10 possible accordingly. Regarding the intimate relations it was calculated that the children of those parents, who struggle after the divorce feel lonely 40% more often than of those, who cooperate with each other and have a lower index of friends’ number, which was calculated as 2 for the first group and 5 for the second one. 100% of the interviewed children from the first stratum stated that they lacked the communication with a non-residential parent. Only 10% of the second group participants answered positively to this question.

Comparing the data considering gender differences it is important to mention that 100% of girls from the first stratum appeared to be bent to conflicts and did not take part in social events, and only 80% of boys answered the questions in the same way. The points for education achievements for boys and girls were not very different and were calculated as 8. The index of loneliness was higher among girls, 100% of answered that felt lonely often. 80% was the index of the boys, who answered the same questions. The number of friends among both genders did not differ. 100% of both male and female participants lacked communication with their non-custodial parents (see Figure 2). Regarding the difference between male and female participants from the second stratum, the indicators of three spheres were different: education achievements, intimate relations, lack of parental attention (see Figure 3).

The findings of the research show how the behavior of the parents influences the children’s life after divorce. It is obvious that sensitizing the children against a non-residential parent and inter parental conflicts after the divorce have a negative influence on the child’s development. Comparing two strata, the difference between which lies in the parental behavior, it is necessary to emphasize that the sphere of relations between a child and is influenced the most. 100% of the participants, who did not have the possibility to communicate with a non-custodial parent, felt the lack of attention and communication with them. Among those, whose parents were amicable and cooperative, only 10 % of the participants answered the question positively. All of them were female representatives. This can be explained by girls’ higher level of emotionality and sensitivity. The next sphere dealt with difficulties in intimate relations. The participants of the first stratum were obviously less communicative and had fewer friends. Again the index for the female representatives was higher than the male one. The educational achievements of the children were not influenced by the parents’ behavior. Proneness to conflicts among children from the first group was much higher. It means that children from the divorced families lose the ability to avoid and soothe the conflicts and do not tend to participate in the social life. Comparing to the second stratum, the representatives of the first one were less communicative and bent to loneliness and conflicts. Finally, the communication between children and their parents, usually non-custodial ones, is the sphere, which is influenced the most. It is more difficult for them to adjust in the children’s group and they are more introvert.

The results of the research present the evidences of the negative effects of divorce on children. Though the divorce itself appears to be a psychological trauma for the parents as well, its effects can be minimized with the help of influence on their post-divorce behavior. That is why it is necessary to make the parents aware of the peculiarities of the child psychology and importance of communication with both of the parents.

As the adolescent age group needs to be investigated, the research was based on the answers of children, whose average age was 14,5. The parental conflicts and behavior in general obviously have an impact on the mentioned spheres of children’s lives. The parent-child relations are influenced the most and the educational achievements of children are influenced the least. Nevertheless, the indexes can be not accurate. It is important to mention that judging the influence of parental behavior on such spheres as adjustment in the society, educational achievements, intimate relations, lack of parental attention for the adolescents’ group should take into account the peculiarities of their age. The number of the participants was not high. Consequently, it is difficult to calculate the accurate percentage. Moreover, it is necessary to question the parents of the participants to get more precise results.

To sum it up, regardless the inaccuracy of some indexes, the research contributes to the studies of the divorce effects on children and gives evidences that parents should put the children’s interests prior to those of their own. Moreover, educating parents about the effect of divorce on their children should influence their decisions and post-divorce behavior positively.

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Parental Fighting Can Affect a Child's Mental Health—Here's How

The way parents work out their differences can impact kids for life. Here's how parent fighting affects a child and their mental health.

Why Parent Fights Are a Problem

• Long-Term Effects
• When It Becomes a Problem
• Diminishing the Effects

No matter how healthy a couple’s relationship is, there are bound to be a few squabbles here and there. Kids can suffer when those occasional disagreements morph into full-fledged parental fighting.

Studies show parents' fights affect their children’s mental health , including increasing the risk of depression and anxiety, lowering self-esteem, and impairing their sense of security.

Physical altercations, insults, and tactics such as “the silent treatment,” are just a few of the toxic interactions that are likely to create some emotional damage to a child in the long run. Keep reading to learn more about how parent fights can negatively impact kids.

Children of all ages, from near infancy through early adulthood, are impacted by how their parents handle their differences. Researchers believe high-conflict marriages take a toll on a child’s mental health and self-esteem . Here are some of the ways kids are impacted.

• It can cause insecurity. Fighting undermines kids’ sense of security about the stability of the family. Children exposed to a lot of fighting may worry about divorce or wonder when one parent’s silent treatment is going to end. It becomes difficult for them to have a sense of normalcy in the family since fights may be unpredictable.
• It can affect the parent-child relationship. High-conflict situations are stressful, and a stressed-out parent might not spend a lot of time with their kids. In addition, the quality of the relationship may be affected, as it may be difficult for parents to show warmth and affection when they’re angry with each other.
• It can create a stressful environment. Overhearing frequent or intense fighting is stressful for kids and can be scary. Stress can take a toll on their physical and psychological well-being and interferes with normal, healthy development.

Long-Term Mental Health Effects

A 2012 study looked at the effect of parental conflict on children from kindergarten through seventh grade. When their children were in kindergarten , the parents were asked how much conflict they experienced in their marriage. They were also prompted to talk about a difficult topic, such as finances, and researchers assessed how critical the partners were of one another.

Seven years later, researchers followed up with the families. Both the kids and the parents were asked about fighting in the parents’ marriage and the emotional and behavioral health of the kids. Kindergarteners with parents who fought frequently were more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and behavioral issues by the time they reached seventh grade.

However, those aren’t the only issues kids are likely to face when their parents fight often. Here are some things researchers have found when examining the effects of parental fighting on kids.

Decreased cognitive performance

Researchers learned that when parents fought often, kids had more difficulty regulating their attention and emotions.

Their ability to rapidly solve problems and quickly see patterns in new information was also compromised. Meanwhile, other studies have found that living in a high-conflict family increases the odds of dropping out of high school and getting poor grades.

Relationship issues

Being exposed to parental fighting increases the chances that kids will treat others with hostility. It’s common for kids to solve sibling squabbles with the same tactics they’ve witnessed their caregivers using.

Children may also struggle to maintain healthy relationships as adults if they’ve grown accustomed to family discord, or they may struggle to identify who they can trust in life.

Behavior problems

Parental conflict has been linked to increased aggression , delinquency, and behavior problems in children. Additionally, children are more likely to have social issues and difficulty adjusting to school.

Eating disorders and physical issues

Several studies have linked eating disorders , such as anorexia and bulimia, to high parental discord. A child might also have physical effects from the fighting, such as sleep problems, stomachaches, or headaches.

Substance use

Researchers have found that living in a home with high levels of conflict increases the odds of smoking, vaping , binge drinking, and marijuana use, relative to a low-conflict family.

Negative outlook on life

Children raised in high-conflict homes are more likely to have negative views of their family relationships. They're also more likely to view themselves negatively.

Extensive research shows that children exposed to parental fighting can have low self-esteem and other mental health concerns—and these impacts last into adulthood.

When Parental Fighting Becomes Problematic

All parents should take a close look at how they argue . Just because your fights don’t get physical doesn’t mean they aren’t harmful to your kids. There are several tactics parents use that are destructive to children.

Destructive Disagreement Tactics

• Name-calling
• Threats of abandonment (such as divorce)
• Any form of physical aggression (including throwing things)
• Walking out or withdrawing from the argument
• Capitulation (giving into the other parent)

So, while you might think walking away from an argument and giving your partner the silent treatment for three days isn’t a big deal, it can have lasting consequences for your kids. Your children see how you handle disagreements and they learn problem-solving, emotion regulation, and conflict-resolution skills from you.

It’s also important to think about the message that you’re sending to your kids about loving relationships. If you and your partner treat each other with disrespect , your kids will grow up thinking that it’s OK to do the same—and perhaps they’ll believe it’s OK to let others treat them poorly, too.

Diminishing the Effects of Parent Fights

Having a spat or two doesn’t mean you’ve irreparably harmed your child. However, you might want to take a few steps to lessen the effects of what they see and hear.

If your disagreement grows disrespectful, here's how to address the situation with your kids:

• Discuss the fight : Although you don’t have to get into specifics, hold a family meeting to say something like, “Daddy and I had an argument the other night that got out of hand. We didn’t have the same opinion on something that was important to both of us, but it was wrong for us to fight like that.”
• Reassure the kids : Stress that the argument isn't indicative of bigger problems. Reassure them that you still love each other and that you’re not going to get divorced (assuming, of course, that it’s a true statement).
• Bring closure : Make sure your children understand that you’re still a strong family. Explain that arguments happen sometimes and people can lose their tempers. However, you all love each other, despite your disagreements.

If you believe that your fights with your spouse or partner are harming your child’s mental well-being, consider seeing a therapist.

Are Kids Better Off in Two-Parent Families?

There's no better or worse family structure. Kids can thrive in single-parent and two-parent homes, plus any other arrangement, such as living with extended family. What matters most is that kids are safe, loved, and supported—and that their basic needs are met.

While divorce can take a psychological toll on kids, partners who co-parent respectfully can offset the potential harm to the kids from splitting up.

Kids who grow up with single parents often experience other problems—like economic issues—with greater frequency than kids who grow up in two-parent families. And clearly, remarriage and living in a blended family can be complicated for kids, too.

That said, living in a high-conflict home is likely to be equally as stressful—or perhaps even more stressful for kids—than if their parents separated. Additionally, when parents get along during and after a divorce, kids usually don’t experience long-lasting emotional scars.

If you find yourself in a high-conflict relationship, staying together for the kids might not do your children any favors. It’s important to seek help to reduce the conflict or make changes to the relationship so that your kids can grow up happier and healthier.

Interparental conflict, children's security with parents, and long-term risk of internalizing problems: A longitudinal study from ages 2 to 10 . Dev Psychopathol. 2016.

Interparental conflict in kindergarten and adolescent adjustment: Prospective investigation of emotional security as an explanatory mechanism . Child Dev . 2012.

The Role of Family Relationships in Eating Disorders in Adolescents: A Narrative Review . Behav Sci (Basel). 2020.

Interparental conflict and long-term adolescent substance use trajectories: The role of adolescent threat appraisals . J Fam Psychol. 2018.

Parenting, Coparenting, and Adolescents' Sense of Autonomy and Belonging After Divorce . J Youth Adolesc . 2024.

Parental Conflicts and Posttraumatic Stress of Children in High-Conflict Divorce Families . J Child Adolesc Trauma . 2021.

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