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12 UNC Chapel Hill Essay Examples (2024)

If you're trying to get into the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill in 2024, you'll need to write college essays that make you stand out from the crowd.

In this article, I've gathered 12 of the best essays that got students admitted into UNC so that you can improve your own essays and ultimately get accepted to UNC.

What is UNC Chapel Hill's Acceptance Rate?

The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill is one of the top public universities, which means every year it's more difficult to get accepted into UNC.

Last year over 53,775 students applied to UNC. UNC at Chapel Hill had an overall admit acceptance rate of 19.2%.

University of North Carolina Acceptance Scattergram

What are the unc chapel hill writing prompt for 2022-23.

UNC Chapel Hill requires all applicants to write two short essays of 200-250 words each and answer four fill-in-the-blank questions.

The UNC application also notes: " Carolina aspires to build a diverse and inclusive community. We believe that students can only achieve their best when they learn alongside students from different backgrounds. In reading your responses, we hope to learn what being a member of such a community would mean to you. "

Short Answer Questions

There are four UNC short answer questions to choose from for this year, of which each student must choose two prompts to answer.

Each essay must be between 200-250 words in length.

Describe an aspect of your identity and how this has shaped your life experiences or impacted your daily interactions with others?

Describe a peer who is making a difference in your school or community. What actions has that peer taken? How has their work made a difference in your life?

If you could change one thing to better your community, what would it be? Please explain.

Former UNC-Chapel Hill employee, community service member, and civil rights activist Esphur Foster once said “We are nothing without our history.” How does history shape who you are?

Fill in the Blank Questions

Instructions: Please complete these short fill-in-the-blanks in 25 words or less .

One family, friend, or school tradition I cherish…

If I had an extra hour in every day, I would spend it...

If I could travel anywhere, near or far, past, present or future, I would go…*

The last time I stepped outside my comfort zone, I...

People who meet me are most likely to notice...and least likely to notice...

12 UNC Chapel Hill EssaysThatWorked

Here are 12 of the best essays from admitted students from UNC.

Check out these answers to the UNC short answer questions, as well as several successful Common App personal statement essays , and get inspired.

UNC Chapel Hill Essay Example #1

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Prompt: Describe a peer you see as a community builder. What actions has that peer taken? How has their work made a difference in your life? (200-250 words)

I only had one class with Tom, but his soapbox made an appearance almost every day. In every class conversation, he would always have a strong opinion that he would vocalize with no fear of judgment. It astonished me. Though I poured much time into developing my own opinions, I had nowhere near the confidence he had to throw them around freely. I doubted if they could hold up to questioning, and if not, how I would be perceived.

As the year progressed, I was validated in that not all of his opinion stood up to scrutiny. However, I also realized that the only way to amend my own ideas was to put them on the line. The only way to withstand discord was to engage in it. And when coupled with my growing dedication to understanding others’ beliefs, I not only reflected on my own, but shared them, so others could internalize mine. Since then, I consistently draw on his intellectual confidence and the tempered thoughtfulness I have always possessed, to strike a balance between dialogue and introspection. Not until he came along had I realized the absolute importance of sharing imperfect ideas. As I have grown to recognize, my engagement in intellectual discourse not only works to refine my views but also works to constructively challenge those of others, fostering a mutually beneficial discussion, which though occasionally contentious, is always underpinned by tact and respect.

In elementary school, multiplication tables were the ultimate conquest. Each day, students would take their seats, filled with either anticipation or dread of the timed multiplication practice they would inevitably receive. To me, these worksheets were a challenge- an opportunity for me to prove to myself and others that I had mastered the art of third-grade math. However, I did not realize that a fellow classmate would motivate me to achieve ambitions beyond multiplication. Every day, this classmate expertly completed his multiplication with time to spare. As the year progressed, the teachers noticed his mathematical skill and allowed him to attempt the next step—division.

I jealously watched as he attempted division while I continued working through the same monotonous problems, and eventually realized that if he could master multiplication, I could too. I began to practice my multiplication tables at home, and, at school, every timed quiz brought me closer to excellence. Finally, after what seemed like years of hard work, my teacher allowed me to progress to the division worksheets with my classmate. Without realizing it, this classmate pushed me to work my hardest and take my learning outside of the classroom. He motivated me to learn and inspired me to be the best version of myself. Because of this classmate, I work harder in school, always push myself, and, above all, believe that anything is achievable if I try my hardest.

Julia (I’ve changed her name) had always sat behind me in calculus. We traded snippets of our lives in the five minutes between math problems. One Friday night, I answered an unexpected FaceTime from Julia. She told me about her family, how her dad had committed suicide after her mom threatened to leave him. She described how her brother had physically abused her, leaving her bloody on the bathroom floor. She recounted calling the police after her boyfriend threatened to jump off a window ledge. I was left speechless.

The next morning, I remembered the classic Freudian glacier diagrams with only 10% of a person residing above water. Julia was an avid artist, a budding mathematician, yet she was living with pain most adults would find unbearable. Looking at the jeans she had painted herself in Starry Night’s likeness, basking in the warm glow of her wit, there was simply no way of knowing what obstacles she had to overcome. I had always taken having a supportive family for granted, rarely ever considering that for many, home was a punishment and not a sanctuary. While the mild success I had enjoyed in school existed primarily because of my ever-encouraging parents, hers existed in spite of them, making everything she had accomplished all the more remarkable. My respect for Julia is immeasurable. She taught me not only resilience by example, but never to assume, to never disregard what most likely lies just beneath the surface.

I opened my email on the first day of junior year to these words: “Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Chess Club has returned once more to bless our Halls”. The sender was Donald Hasler, one of the most remarkable people I have ever met. Don and another student decided to revive the dormant Chess Club. Don, however, wanted it to be about much more than chess; he hoped to create a place where all types of students could unite. He succeeded in this goal through a weekly series of hilarious emails and constant outreach to the student body, from the most reserved students to the most rambunctious. A few months into school, Chess Club was not only the most popular club but also one of the most welcoming communities. Regardless of their knowledge of chess, students of different ages and interests come together once a week to play.

Don has become, for me, a model of the take-charge attitude essential to success in today’s world. He has taught me to emulate his leadership with nothing more than determination, a sense of humor, and an open mind, in order to develop a collaborative and cohesive group of students. Over the past year, I have helped bring a host of high school underclassmen into Math Team, helping them find a unique extracurricular interest and a group of fun, caring peers and role-models. Math Team has now joined Chess Club as the only clubs in the school with 100 members.

I am a Democrat, and Jack is as Republican as they come. True friendships are not possible between people with vastly different ideologies. At least that’s what I had originally thought. We have played basketball, done homework, gone out to lunch, laughed at memes, mourned bad grades, gossipped about teachers, and done everything that most friends do.

We have also had some of the most interesting political discussions; passionate, but without rancor or judgment. In the process I have learned many things. All it takes is a mutual willingness to listen intently and not constantly think of a repartee. Productive dialogue is more important than the instant gratification of defeating someone’s argument. The mutual respect Jack and I have for each other’s disparate political opinions is something most people wouldn’t imagine possible.

My political beliefs have only become stronger through our friendship, but so too has my understanding of divergent perspectives. I think that milk should go in before cereal, and that Lebron James is clearly better than Kobe Bryant; but it’s not a big deal if someone disagrees with me. So why is politics an exception? If friendships can only be formed between like-minded people, then democracy is in peril. Let us build that bridge. Jack and I did. It makes a difference.

I have been blessed with so many fantastic friends. I was going to write about my best friend in this essay. But no friendship has taught me more than the one Jack and I share.

Prompt: Describe an aspect of your identity (for example, your religion, culture, race, sexual or gender identity, affinity group, etc.). How has this aspect of your identity shaped your life experiences thus far? (200-250 words)

Thanksgiving is a special time for many in America. It is a celebration of American traditions. Growing up, with parents from Bangladesh, we never celebrated Thanksgiving – my parents always told me it was an American holiday, and we weren’t Americans. Now, we do celebrate Thanksgiving, albeit different from the traditional American holiday that most celebrate.

The cuisine we eat is unique to us – the turkey has spices such as turmeric, giving it a hint of the perceptible Bengali flavor. The mashed potatoes in our house aren’t topped with gravy – they are topped with curry. There are slight nuances to everything we have at the dinner table that combines the essence and cultures of the traditional American style with our own Bengali culture.

I believe that these meals, and our Thanksgiving, describes me personally. The combination of the American society in which I live and Bengali household I reside have a strong influence in my whole being. This clash of cultures blended together for me is something I would in turn contribute to the UNC community.

I also believe that my background gives me a unique perspective on social justice, which allows me to contribute to conversations that others might struggle to contribute to. Because of our Thanksgiving and how it shapes me, I will carry that with me to college where it will provide a model for myself and my peers at UNC.

Prompt: If you could change one thing to better your community, what would it be? Why is it important and how would you contribute to this change? (200-250 words)

As a global citizen and more literally an American citizen, I hope we find common ground. World affairs, as I understand them, veer wildly between extremes. Though this change can occur over decades, the world as a whole, and our country specifically, experiences radical swings between populism and elitism, far left and far right doctrine.

The natural reaction to an extreme ideology is the rise of its opposite: the process is cyclical. This extreme swing means constant division; one group vehemently fighting to keep their ideas in power and the other willing to sacrifice anything to destroy them. Rarely is their moderation, rarely is their compromise.

This lack of general balance in a countries dogma means little long-term change. Substantive action from one group is later demolished when the other gains power. Nationalism is used to attack the opposition, not to unify the country, and simulated existentialism disenfranchises many. For the good of us all, it’s time for change.

Admittedly this is idealistic, and amending this issue is not in the power of any one world-leader or bureaucrat. But I’m optimistic. In The United States, there is a vocal minority urging compromise, and though their voices are in danger of being drowned out, they have a far more compelling argument than those advocating the extremes. I hope for this change with the understanding that my community is rational and reasonable, and that with mutual respect and moderation, we can make the practical changes that best serve our world.

New England. Apple Cider, Lobster Rolls, Clam Chowder, Fall Foliage. Dead Leaves, N’oreasters, Blizzards.

The unique corner of America where I live raises conflicting feelings in me. New England is a place where beautiful colors envelop you when autumn appears but also where bitter blizzards leave you in despair when winter takes hold. A place with strong values rooted in its deep history but also where change is often rejected in favor of tradition.

As much as I love the possibility of a white Christmas, I despise the sight of muddy slush on the roadside as I drive to school. There is nothing I would love more than to be rid of the biting cold and terrible snowstorms. Of course, we couldn’t do that without discovering some outrageous new technology to shut down Earth’s natural phenomena. But that would create bigger problems, so maybe we should stay away from that idea and just hope for some forgiving weather this year!

Blizzards aside, one of my biggest issues with New England lies in its lack of decent public transportation. Our weather is worse than that of many parts of Europe, but Europe solves this problem with phenomenal public transportation including modern metros, efficient bus systems, and high-speed rail networks. One day, I hope we can emulate that level of interconnectedness and convenience in New England and throughout America. I hope this historically significant region might serve as a catalyst for technological and infrastructural change throughout America, changing history once more.

There aren’t many places where everyone is free from prejudice. One exception is a basketball court. The first time I stepped on a basketball court, I was expecting the usual joke about my race or the judgmental questions about my culture. But they never came. Everyone I met had unique perspectives on everything, from basketball itself to politics, and they were open and willing to share.

I began to open up more about my background – how I couldn’t tie my own shoes until I was 10 and that I’m the only person in my family who loves hip-hop music. I was willing to share my experiences because there were no judgments made about me. Despite living in an ethnically homogenous area, on the court, I met and connected with people who have different backgrounds and interests. Coleman, now one of my best friends, who is in love with Greek architecture, or Gavin, who is the only member of his family who isn’t a Packers fan.

The culture of unity and acceptance that is fostered is not due to the courts themselves, but due to the common goal everyone shares. I hope my community will find ways to build more places that promote what I have experienced on the basketball court – areas where everyone is respected for their perspectives rather than judged by their race, religion, or beliefs.

“Kings have riches widely lain, Lords have land, but then again, We have friends and song no wealth can buy.” - “Here’s to Song” by Allister MacGillivray

Whether it was french horn, singing, or piano, music has been integral to my mental development, and has provided me an enriching outlet to immerse myself in outside the classroom. Sadly, 1.3 million American elementary school students lack access to music classes due to funding cuts. Music should not belong solely to children in privileged, affluent schools; during my college experience, I aim to tackle this issue.

During my UNC visit, I fell into conversation with a current student, Evan Linnett, about Musical Empowerment, an organization that he leads. UNC’s commitment to equipping the next generation with the power of music is inspiring; my vision is to take this a step further. Aspiring applicants attend college-run summer programs for the experience of staying on campus; however, almost all of these programs are academic.

I envision a service-based UNC Music summer program, one that fills up dorms over the summer, provides a service opportunity to high school students from all over the country, and free basic music education to children in the RTP area, who perhaps can’t afford summer camp or music lessons. As a musician, I feel that it is our duty to use the opportunities we have been blessed with to make music accessible to children of marginalized communities across the country.

This isn’t an RTP problem; it’s a national problem. But it starts with one.

Prompt: What is one thing that we don’t know about you that you want for us to know? (200-250 words)

Sharp ambition recedes to a dull afterthought under the vast blue sky. There is nothing to prove, only a trail to be hiked. Human worries have no place here, are as alien as concrete and WiFi. Thoughts of chemistry competitions, English essays, and college loans fade into nonexistence. A stream gurgles nearby, white noise in the greenest of places. Surrounded by unassuming simplicity, I am home.

I started hiking before I could read the trail signs. I’ve been skiing for 12 years. Nature presents an opportunity not just for individual tranquility, but for being with family free from modern distractions. A tradition as ingrained as making cozonac at Christmas, the commitment to spending time outdoors is a rare source of common ground for my family. After eight hours on the trail, we eat at the same cafe, our legs streaked with dried mud. My mom predictably orders the Reuben while my dad orders salad and steals our fries. There is something warmly comforting in our routine; no matter the arguments that inevitably arise after four of us are stuffed in a car together, everything else recedes away once we step outside, slowly disappearing with the fading whoosh of cars on the highway.

I’ve trekked hundreds of miles in the mountains of upstate New York, fished in the cold, salty waters of Talkeetna, marvelled at the sun setting over Arches National Park. No matter the landscape, be it red rocks or blue ocean, I am continually humbled by the natural world and its capacity for fostering human connection.

Prompt: We hope you’ll share with us the activities that you’ve found especially worthwhile. We also hope you won’t feel compelled to tell us everything you’ve ever done or, worse yet, to do things that mean little to you just because you think we expect them.

Low-profile pursuits can be just as meaningful as ones that draw more attention, and fewer activities can be just as good, and sometimes even better, than more activities. For example, although starting a new club can be a great experience and helpful to others, so can caring for siblings, parents, or grandparents, working outside the home to put food on the table, or being a good and caring friend.

For these reasons, although we’re glad to receive complete résumés, we don’t require or encourage them. Instead, if you choose to submit something that goes beyond what you’re providing through your Common Application, keep it brief; focus less on including everything and more on choosing and explaining the things that have meant the most to you; and upload it here. (650 words max)

Everywhere I looked, I saw a sea of white coats and scrubs; there was constant beeping of the heart monitors, and the smell of disinfectant was strong.

There I stood - a diminutive, awkward high school kid - lacking in experience and confidence, ready to begin volunteering at Vidant Medical Center. Perhaps the very same qualities that made me nervous were what put patients at ease. Many patients, especially younger ones who were uncomfortable speaking with medical professionals, seemed much more comfortable in my presence. I have learned this quality is how I have been able to make a difference - by connecting with many of the younger patients who were nervous just like me. I’ll always remember the two eight-year-old brothers who were waiting as their father got an MRI.

In some ways, they were also like me - they loved sports, and had an interest in math and science. As they were waiting, we talked about everything, from who they thought would win the NBA championship title to me giving them tips on how to remember their multiplication tables. This interaction put them at ease and kept them from becoming restless.

Every time I step into the hospital, I strive to connect with people. I find that I am able to make a difference not strictly due to my tasks of escorting and discharging patients but because of connection and rapport that I establish with them.

My initial nervousness about whether or not I would be able to assist sick and injured patients soon gave way to relief and gratification as I learned that I was indeed able to help them, by bringing a smile to those I escort, discharge, or deliver meals . I’ve met people I might never have met otherwise, and we’ve shared our thoughts and talked about our experiences. I have come to look forward to their company, who, despite their conditions, are still able to smile every day and enjoy engaging in conversation with me - and vice versa.

Even when volunteering in areas of the hospital where I’m not in contact with patients as often, such as doing food preparation, I always make sure to visit the patients I escort after my shift, to talk to them and uplift their spirits. Volunteering at a hospital reminds me every day how fortunate I am to be in good health and of the rewards of helping those who aren’t. While my job as a volunteer at the hospital may not result in the discovery of a cure for cancer, I am happy to have had an opportunity to contribute to improving the experiences of the children and young adults coping with their hospital stays.

What Can You Learn From These UNC Chapel Hill Essays?

Getting into UNC Chapel Hill in 2022 is difficult, but you can maximize your chances of acceptance by writing essays that help you stand out.

These 12 UNC essays that worked show exactly how real students got accepted into UNC recently by responding to the UNC short answer questions and Common App personal statement.

What did you think of these UNC Chapel Hill essays?

Meet the Author

Ryan Chiang

I'm Ryan Chiang and I created EssaysThatWorked.com - a website dedicated to helping students and their families apply to college with confidence & ease. We publish the best college admissions essays from successful applicants every year to inspire and teach future students.

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Wharton’s 2024 Comment and Win Contest Ends with Innovation and Inspiration

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What did innovation look like in Round 4 of the 2024 Comment and Win, which ran from July 22 to August 9? More than 100 commenters – tasked with making ideas presented in Wharton Global Youth articles even better – gave us everything from optimized pollination periods, compostable packaging and tea tourism in Yunnan, to pumpkin spice and mood-enhancing aromatherapy gummies and red bean and ube-infused cake pops.  🤔

As always, you made us think!

Still, we want to address the algorithm in the room: Artificial Intelligence . It’s such an exciting time of innovation, driven largely by AI, which was not lost on our Round 4 commenters — AI in microgrids and virtual power plants, health care diagnostics and contextually accurate translations of dialogues in foreign films.

AI does make life intriguing, and perhaps better – though that is up for debate. Comment and Win 2024 has been a summer-long revelation about the firestorm surrounding generative AI, fueled by conflicting messages from teachers and administrators. Just check out the comments on AI and You: How to Be the Humans in the Loop , How Will AI and Hybrid Work Change Your Job? And Murder Mysteries, Mock Interviews and the GenAI Revolution to surrender with AI abandon to issues that high school students are wrestling with.

And then there’s the other side of AI among the pages of this year’s competition …as in, using AI in place of your human voice. At Wharton, we appreciate mind-blowing new tools like ChatGPT to spark creative thinking. We hoped, however, that you would not use them to inform entire innovations and shape complete comments. We got pretty good at detecting a “generative” tone by Round 4, and suspected deep tech assistance when certain innovation themes appeared on repeat, like new YouTube channels, awareness campaigns, subscription services and companion apps.

Comments are, by nature, a way to express your ideas, opinions and aspirations. We celebrated commenters who drew from their personal toolkit of experiences and knowledge to share thoughts on how to enrich existing innovations. With so many consistent commenters this summer, we looked for you to pull the “threads” of your summer commenting together in Round 4, with creative thinking, informed insights, conversational tones, and connections to your life and work. Authentic voices resonated.

Here are the best commenters in Round 4 of Wharton’s 2024 Comment and Win Competition :

Congratulations to Round 4 Top Commenter Beatriz R., 17 and a student at Colégio Arena in Brazil , for her comment on A Tool for Student Loans and Advice for Your Financial Future . Beatriz identified a key limitation of the new Finiverse student loan app (which directly impacted her) and provided solid suggestions for how to make it more inclusive of international students. We’re sharing your thoughts with Wharton’s Stevens Center for Innovation in Finance , Beatriz!

The Round 4 First Runner-up intrigued us with his research, which helped him identify economic gaps ripe for innovative thought. In his comment on Your Future as an ESG Pioneer , Max X., 16 and a student at Livingston High School in New Jersey, U.S. , drew from his recent study at Harvard University to suggest how redefined economic policies might inspire more interest in electric vehicles and encourage EV use among lower-income families, where pollution from cars tends to be greater.

Second Runner-up Baokang Z., 17 and a student at Redmond High School in Washington, U.S. , had us at the line, “After all, aren’t tires just shoes for cars?” Baokang’s comment on Tire-inspired Footwear that is Helping the Planet and Empowering India’s Cobblers imagined a product extension for Tyron’s sandals made out of recycled tires – rubber-spiked golf shoes. It might work, Baokang! All we need is some data analysis, which you explored during your time at Wharton’s Moneyball Academy .

Kelly Z., 16 and a student at Polytechnic High School in California, U.S. , is the Round 4 Third Runner-up. Kelly delivered “food for thought” with her comment on Tackling Social Inequality One Fresh Apple at a Time . We appreciated Kelly’s detailed response to podcast guest Carrie Lange, and applauded the viability of her thoughtful suggestions. Plus, we love apple pie. 🥧

Fourth Runner-up honors go to Jason D., 16 and a student at Bluffton High School in South Carolina, U.S. , for his comment on Murder Mysteries, Mock Interviews, and the GenAI Revolution . In a world of high-tech innovations, we welcomed Jason’s human-centered problem-solving, inspired by his observations while working with middle school students this summer.

Our final top commenter in Round 4 is Fifth Runner-up Ina N ., 16 and a student at Lower Cape May Regional High School in New Jersey, U.S. , for her comment on A Budding Bio Entrepreneur Makes Nutritional Gummies for Teens . While some of this round’s innovative thinking was, well, excessive – Ina made it look easy, building on a specific point from the podcast to imagine a clear, clever and succinct idea for smart gummy marketing .

Congratulations to all our Round 4 winners! You will receive business-themed e-books written by Wharton School faculty from our collaborator, Wharton School Press .

And now, a few innovation-inspired superlatives awarded to Round 4 commenters around specific themes.

Best Comment Sprinklers (bursts of brief innovation) : Mete C., 15 and a student at the Koc School in Turkey, for comments like this one on Studying Social Media Use to Quantify Emotions and Improve Mental Health , and Srinitya P., 16 and a student at Appoquinimink High School in Delaware, U.S., for comments like this one on A Start-up Tea Brand Chases a New Generation of ‘Tea Friends’ and Profits for Yunnan Farmers.

Most Intriguing Analysis : Carter K., 16 and a student at Notre Dame Preparatory School in Maryland, U.S., for his comment on Behind the Scenes: The Science of Moviemaking .

Strongest Consumer Champion : Brian C., 15 and a student at Stuyvesant High School in New York, U.S., for his comment on A Budding Bio Entrepreneur Makes Nutritional Gummies for Teens .

Innovation Gone Wild : Sophie Z., 16 and a student at Roy C. Ketcham High School, for her comment on Challenging the S’mores Legacy with a Campfire Innovation (Ah, the simplicity of a marshmallow and a stick!).

The 2024 Grand Prize

It’s time to announce our Grand Prize winner. We had a lot of repeat customers this summer, putting several dedicated commenters in the running for the GP. Many of you won top commenter positions, superlatives and our hearts across the four rounds, with your expressive comments on varied business and finance topics. You are all Comment and Winners to us!

But, alas, one voice truly rang out from the moment she dropped her first comment on June 13, 2024 at 8:54 a.m., noting, “Gen Z highly values developmental opportunities. So, they will probably prefer to work at organizations that invest in their professional development.” She went on to comment nine more times during the four rounds, scoring a top commenter, two first runners-up and a superlative award. Congratulations to Beatriz R. of Colégio Arena in Brazil!

Beatriz’s commenting excellence came down to her love of business, strong self-expression and ability to seamlessly weave personal experiences into her reflections. She left pieces of herself in the pages of Wharton Global Youth, while delivering solid, insightful analyses and opinions, as any good comment should: “Noah, how did you live that long without Feijoada? It’s the best Brazilian dish ever (maybe it loses only to “Galinhada”; you should try it if you haven’t).” Beatriz expressed genuine connections to our content this summer – and we, in turn, connected with her.

Great job to our grand 2024 Comment and Winner! A box of Wharton Global Youth swag will soon arrive on your doorstep. We hope to get it there in time for the Philadelphia Eagles season opener in São Paulo on September 6 (Wharton is based at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia). 😉

That’s a Wrap

We are sad to say that Comment & Win 2024 has come to a close. What a summer! You all dropped 490 comments from 35 different countries. We are grateful for your engagement — and celebrate all you are taking away from your weeks inside the pages of a Wharton School business education for high school students. Please read the Round 1 , Round 2 and Round 3 reports, or simply follow the commenting thread on one of your favorite articles to feel the energy. You’ll quickly see why this is one of our favorite annual activities.

We turn to Dmitry G., a student from Columbia Grammar and Preparatory School in New York, U.S., for this year’s final word. Dmitry’s posts in every round were fun to read and always struck a clever, conversational tone. We suspect he genuinely enjoyed spending his summer with Comment and Win.

This quote appeared in his Round 4 comment on A Budding Bio Entrepreneur Makes Nutritional Gummies for Teens : “Participating in this Wharton Comment and Win Contest has opened my eyes to the many people who are driven to make the world a “better” place (as cliché as that may sound), and I am a bit embarrassed to say this, but I want to truly express my gratitude for your courage to share your passions with the world with such care and diplomacy. It is a blessing that I can productively invest my time in reading about your business and later share with my family the interesting perspectives I have learned from your article and others.”

Our sentiments exactly, Dmitry! See you all in the comments. ❤️

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2 University of South Carolina Essays by an Accepted Student

What’s covered:, essay example #1 – intellectual curiosity, essay example #2 – extracurricular, where to get your university of south carolina essays edited.

If you’re applying to the University of South Carolina’s Honors College, you’ll need to have more than high grades and test scores. Strong academic credentials are a must, of course, but to truly set yourself apart in a competitive applicant pool, you’ll want to showcase your intangible qualities that will allow you to take full advantage of all the Honors College has to offer.

The following essays were written by a real student who was ultimately accepted to the Honors College, so they should give you a more concrete sense of what admissions officers are looking for beyond the numbers.

Please note that while looking at examples of real essays written by other students can give you inspiration for your own essays, you should never copy from these examples. If colleges think you have plagiarized, they are likely to automatically reject you, and plus, the essay is your opportunity to tell your own story, not repeat someone else’s.

Prompt: What sparks your intellectual curiosity? How have you explored the subject in the past? How do you plan to explore it at UofSC?

When I began my true crime podcast almost two years ago, the choice for a perfect first case was simple. I would have to cover the murder of Jonbenet Ramsey. While it may sound morbid, true crime is an interest of mine, and this specific case has always fascinated me. Specifically, the fact that this case has remained unsolved for so many years is profoundly unsettling.

Jonbenet Ramsey was a child pageant queen who was brutally murdered the day after Christmas in her idyllic Colorado town in 1996. Because of the crime’s unsettling nature, and the victim’s pageantry, the American public became quickly captivated by the case. However, despite years of speculation surrounding suspects, the case has remained unsolved. I suppose this is why I have always been drawn to wanting answers in this case. I simply cannot comprehend how a case that gained sweeping media coverage and mesmerized the American public for decades has never been solved.

Over the years, this murder has had many circulating theories. Some speculate it was Jonbenet’s strangely behaved parents, while others suspect a stranger snuck in through the basement window to commit the crime. While I do not necessarily want to harp on the thousands of speculations swirling around true crime media, there is one matter in this case that can simply not be ignored. I believe that if this case had been handled more professionally since the beginning of the investigation, it would be solved today.

There were two major reasons why this case was handled inappropriately: Christmas and community. Jonbenet Ramsey was determined missing in the early morning hours of December 26, 1996. Because of the timing, Boulder, Colorado’s more senior detectives were out enjoying their holiday, while the officers with less experience were called into the initial investigation. Simple mistakes and miscommunications due to their inexperience complicated this already unsettling investigation. Despite this being the most shocking crime to occur in the picturesque Colorado town, it was handled by a gaggle of rookie cops that didn’t get to sleep in the morning after Christmas.

The second reason this investigation was doomed from the start is community. The Ramseys were well-recognized in their Boulder neighborhood and had many close friends come over the morning of Jonbenet’s disappearance. These neighbors helped search the house, also known as the crime scene. Jonbenet was found in the basement by her father before the cops had arrived at the scene. Not knowing what to do, her father carried her upstairs, tainting any evidence that was left with his deceased daughter.

Once a proper investigation was conducted, detectives were left with a minimal report by amateur investigators and an entirely contaminated crime scene, leaving this case as an enigma. The unsolved nature of this case has resulted in my fascination with criminology. 

At the South Carolina Honors College, I would like to research the inner workings of the criminal justice system and learn more about unsolved investigations similar to this case.

During high school, I attempted to explore criminal justice through several different facets. I conducted research about different types of true crime cases for my podcast, which expanded my knowledge of criminal investigations. Additionally, I attended a summer program at New York University that focused on criminal justice. While there, I took a college course that overviewed the different areas of the American criminal justice system. Despite these efforts, my morbid curiosity has not been diminished.

At the South Carolina Honors College, I hope to take several courses which go in-depth on different areas of criminology and public policy. I would also like to work to conduct further research in the field of criminology. Ultimately, I hope to continue exploring concepts of criminal justice while at the South Carolina Honors College.

What the Essay Did Well

This student’s thorough, immersive analysis of the Jonbenet Ramsey case is exactly the kind of thing they’ll be asked to do in Honors College classes, so the essay serves as indisputable evidence (no pun intended) that they have the genuine intellectual curiosity necessary to succeed in a more rigorous academic environment.

The structure of this essay is one thing we want to draw particular attention to, as in a long supplement, you want to be sure there aren’t any places along the way where your reader could potentially get lost. This writer starts by laying out the facts of the case, including what actually happened, the media impact, and the public’s theories, and then smoothly transitions into providing their own analysis, with the lines:

“I believe that if this case had been handled more professionally since the beginning of the investigation, it would be solved today.

There were two major reasons why this case was handled inappropriately: Christmas and community.”

They then go on to clearly and logically explain why these two factors contributed to the case’s lack of a resolution. Again, Honors College admissions officers are evaluating your ability to think critically about a complex topic, and this writer doesn’t just tell us about a time they did that–they actually show us, in this very essay. The proof is in the pudding, in other words (pun intended).

Additionally, the student’s personable writing style makes this essay feel almost like a conversation with a friend. Your essay is much more likely to stand out if admissions officers are genuinely invested in your story, and this writer actively draws readers in with lines like:

• “While I do not necessarily want to harp on the thousands of speculations swirling around true crime media…”
• “I simply cannot comprehend how a case that gained sweeping media coverage and mesmerized the American public for decades has never been solved.”

These lines, along with creative phrasings like “a gaggle of rookie cops that didn’t get to sleep in the morning after Christmas” make us feel like the writer is speaking directly to us, which in turn makes us vicariously feel their excitement about this case. 

If you can get your reader genuinely excited about your story, they will remember that feeling of excitement as they’re deliberating about your application with their colleagues, and they will be more likely to advocate for your potential as an Honors College student.

What Could Be Improved

While the student’s detailed description of the Jonbenet Ramsey case grabs readers’ attention and doesn’t let go, so much of the essay is dedicated to describing the case that we almost forget this is a college essay. The point of the college essay is to teach admissions officers about who you are, and we come away from this essay knowing far more about Jonbenet Ramsey and her tragic death than about the author.

Of course, as noted above, the writer does illustrate certain key personality traits, like being attentive to detail and having a subtle sense of humor, in the way they tell the story. However, even though that sophisticated approach is effective, you don’t want almost 75% of your essay to be about something other than you, as the points that are directly about you then feel awkward and out of place–Jonbenet Ramsey seems to be missing from the last three paragraphs, even though this essay actually isn’t actually supposed to be about her.

Because of the imbalance in the essay content, the points the writer makes in response to the second part of the prompt, which is essentially a “Why School?” prompt, feel scattered. They don’t have the room to smoothly integrate them, and so we bounce around from their podcast to the summer class they took at NYU to a vague mention of courses they hope to take at UofSC.

Again, the writer’s enthusiasm about this case is genuinely infectious, but there are times in college essays where you need to “kill your darlings,” or cut content that you like for the sake of the essay as a whole. For example, take the lines:

“Over the years, this murder has had many circulating theories. Some speculate it was Jonbenet’s strangely behaved parents, while others suspect a stranger snuck in through the basement window to commit the crime. While I do not necessarily want to harp on the thousands of speculations swirling around true crime media, there is one matter in this case that can simply not be ignored.”

In a true crime podcast, these lines add helpful context to the story. But in a college essay, they take up a lot of words to basically say “this isn’t my main point.” The writer could have cut the first two sentences, and instead had the following short, punchy second paragraph:

“I do not necessarily want to harp on the thousands of speculations swirling around true crime media, as my personal belief is that if this case had been handled more professionally since the beginning of the investigation, it would be solved today.”

With this version, there’s still a smooth transition into the student’s personal views on this case, and the words saved could then be reallocated to the end of the essay, to build a more concrete connection between their interest in this case and their potential future at UofSC. In a “Why School?” essay, you want to be as precise as possible about why you’re applying to this specific institution , and right now this student only generally references “several courses which go in-depth on different areas of criminology and public policy” and “further research in the field of criminology.”

This last paragraph would be much stronger if the student instead cited specific Honors College courses that they’d like to take, such as “Critical Reading and Composition: The Making of Monsters,” which could teach them more about how a narrative can be constructed to skew perception. Their excitement about their future at UofSC would then be just as tangible as their excitement about the Jonbenet Ramsey case.

Prompt: We expect our students to integrate their learning with meaningful extracurricular experiences. Pick a beyond-the-classroom activity where you have taken initiative and tell us more about your involvement. Share what you have learned from your experience. How do you envision building upon this experience to contribute to UofSC and the South Carolina Honors Community?

There is truly nothing like taking the final bow. On stage, surrounded by these people that have been brought into your life by situation, but have managed to become your closest friends. Your thoughts are drowned out by the overwhelming sound of applause. While it may sound cliche, for a brief moment in time, you feel on top of the world. And, to think, it might almost not have happened this way.

At the beginning of eighth grade, a group of high school students came to my middle school cafeteria. They stood in a line, in front of a couple of hundred thirteen-year-olds, to pitch the different elective options available in high school. I listened through countless presentations, mostly bored until one pitch struck me. These two students began discussing the high school’s theater department. They were both involved with musical theater, and it reminded me of the performance I saw at the end of the previous year. The high school had just put on a production of Grease at the end of my seventh-grade year. It was my favorite musical, and probably the only musical I knew, at the time and I wanted to be a part of it so badly. So, I enrolled in the fundamentals of theater course. 

Flash-forward to the beginning of ninth grade. On my first day of school, my dream of being the queen of musical theater was crushed. My fundamentals of theater teacher…hated musicals. With a passion. At my school, the theater department divides into three separate sections after the initial fundamentals course. These sections included acting, tech, and musical theater. The teacher I had been assigned exclusively taught acting and despised musical theater. This challenge immediately diminished my hope. Every day, I was met with a teacher who would trash talk the elaborate musical productions. However, over time, I began to adore this teacher. She was passionate about theater and was genuinely invested in bettering the lives of her students. 

When it came time to pick classes for next year, I had to choose between pursuing acting or musical theater. The influence this teacher had on me was profound. I knew in my heart-of-hearts that I needed to continue with acting instead of musical theater. So, I did. However, in a strange turn of events, I also ended up taking the musical theater course during my sophomore year. So, my major theatrical decision was prolonged for another year. I continued with these courses, and at the end of the year, it was audition time. I was required to audition for both advanced acting and advanced musical theater, however, I would only be able to select one. At that point, I was doing online school, and my relationship with my acting teacher had been reduced to brief Google Meet interactions. So, when I considered my options, I chose to continue with advanced musical theater because it was my initial dream. This plan was all set by the end of my sophomore year. My junior year course requests were in, and there was supposedly no going back. But, then, everything changed.

In the last week of school, my acting teacher wanted to talk in private. She congratulated me on my acceptance to both advanced acting and musical theater and then asked me which one I was going to choose. I told her, with deep remorse, that I had selected musical theater. She nodded, but then told me how much she wished I would be in her advanced class the following year. She started to tell me all about the advanced acting course. They prepared and performed two productions each year, which involved both extracurricular and curricular involvement, and competed in a one-act play competition. As she described the exciting pursuits available in this course, I knew deep down that I had made the wrong choice. 

The second I got home that day, I sent an email to my counselor requesting my elective choice for the following year be changed. I knew I needed to be in advanced acting. And, ultimately, it all worked out. Junior year, I began the exceptional experience of being a part of the Advanced Acting Ensemble.

My first production was the one-act play, The 146 Point Flame. The entire process of production was immediately exciting. I auditioned and was cast in the role that I wanted! I committed a lot of time to this production. I was often staying after-school for rehearsals and asking my friends and family to run lines with me. This production was composed of a small group, which helped facilitate a strong bond between everyone involved. After performing one night in our school’s theater, we traveled about twenty minutes away to compete against other schools in the regional one-act play competition. The experience was thrilling. We were tasked with performing within a short amount of time, and we succeeded. After awaiting the results, the judges came on stage and announced our regional victory! We were overjoyed. At that exact moment, I knew I had made the right decision in choosing this class. 

In the spring, we began auditions for our next production. This time we would be performing the play She Kills Monsters. This show was extremely different from our prior production. It was composed of two acts, and we would be performing a total of five shows for a public audience. We began the production process again. Another serious round of auditions, memorizing lines, and rehearsals. By the end of our final performance, I felt the most extreme rush of emotions. This acting ensemble has given me many valuable things. My acting skills improved, but more importantly, I was given the opportunity to bond with some of the most amazing people that I may not have met had I chosen musical theater. Ultimately, my participation in high school theater has been irreplaceable, and I would love to continue with a similar extracurricular at the University of South Carolina. 

The most common mistake with this kind of “Extracurricular” prompt is that your response is only about the activity, and you don’t address “what you have learned from your experience” or “how do you envision building upon this experience to contribute to UofSC and the South Carolina Honors Community.” This student masterfully avoids that pitfall by describing not only their passion for theater, but also broader qualities and abilities such as adaptability, self-reflection, and a strong work ethic that will serve them well in any activity, course, or social group at UofSC.

The student also does an excellent job of following perhaps the #1 rule in college essays and showing , rather than merely telling, us how they developed these personality traits. We get to see how their initial interest in musical theater emerged, how they reacted when they were put in an acting class instead, and how they grappled with eventually choosing between musical theater and acting.

This detailed story arc, combined with the student’s friendly, personable writing style, make us feel like we’re along for the ride with them, just like in their previous essay. The point of the college essay is to explain who you are beyond your more objective academic and extracurricular achievements. But, as noted above, the very best essays go a step further and build a connection with admissions officers that gets them genuinely invested in your candidacy.

While admissions officers may seem like faceless strangers, locked in a room thousands of miles away, they were once high schoolers too, struggling to decide which path to follow as they entered young adulthood. Lines like the following openly discuss the uncertainty of adolescence, which is a universal experience that helps admissions officers relate to this student:

• “It was my favorite musical, and probably the only musical I knew, at the time and I wanted to be a part of it so badly.”
• “On my first day of school, my dream of being the queen of musical theater was crushed. My fundamentals of theater teacher…hated musicals. With a passion.”
• “The influence this teacher had on me was profound. I knew in my heart-of-hearts that I needed to continue with acting instead of musical theater.”
• “This plan was all set by the end of my sophomore year. My junior year course requests were in, and there was supposedly no going back. But, then, everything changed.”
• “As she described the exciting pursuits available in this course, I knew deep down that I had made the wrong choice.”

Being vulnerable with people you don’t know, who are much older than you and making a big decision about your future, is hard, and you definitely don’t have to bare your soul to write a strong college essay. But acknowledging there have been moments where you doubted yourself or your choices, and showing how you responded in those moments, can tell admissions officers a great deal about you.

While college applications can seem like they’re all about high grades and prestigious awards, schools know that you aren’t perfect. Reflecting honestly on the tougher parts of high school shows maturity, gives your achievements more weight by showing what you had to overcome to earn them, and proves to admissions officers that when you inevitably stumble in college, you’ll be able to pick yourself up and keep going.

There’s only one real issue with this essay. Although the author does an excellent job of showing us the intangible traits they’d bring to UofSC’s Honors College, ideally they would give more concrete examples of how they’d contribute to this community.

The line “Ultimately, my participation in high school theater has been irreplaceable, and I would love to continue with a similar extracurricular at the University of South Carolina” is generic enough that you could swap in any school’s name and still have it make sense. When you mention your excitement to attend a particular school, you always want your reasoning to be specific to that institution.

For example, this student could have mentioned their desire to take courses with Peter Duffy, a professor in the Department of Theatre and Dance who does work on education in the arts, as they know firsthand the impact a teacher can have on a student’s creative pursuits. Or, they could have mentioned the student group Off Off Broadway as an opportunity for them to finally star in a musical theater production.

After all, just about every school has some sort of theater-related opportunity. This kind of added specificity goes a long way towards showing UofSC admissions officers not just that you want to do theater in college, but that you want to do theater at University of South Carolina specifically. 

Finally, on a more nitpicky, stylistic level, we do want to quickly address the use of the second person “you” in the first paragraph. This choice does create a feeling of universality, which, as noted above, is a good thing. However, remember that the college essay is ultimately about you. So, rather than speaking in general terms, take ownership of your story right away, by saying:

“There is truly nothing like taking the final bow. On stage, surrounded by these people that have been brought into my life by situation, but have managed to become my closest friends. My thoughts are drowned out by the overwhelming sound of applause. While it may sound cliche, for a brief moment in time, I feel on top of the world. And, to think, it might almost not have happened this way.”

Do you want feedback on your University of South Carolina essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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